And the Kitchen Sink, Too!
by OverMaster
Summary: A fusion fic between the Darkenningverses and OverMasterverses, with some ShadowCrystalMageverses thrown in for the trifecta. Probably more later on. Cowritten with two authors who are much better than I, if that's any consolation. It's more of a joint adaptation than anything else, so don't expect for all that much all new material. For Mature Readers only!
1. Lesson Zero

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

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><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Zero<strong>.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the gigantic construct overlooking the ruins of Old Ostia, under a gray and thundering sky, Kagurazaka Asuna hung suspended in hibernation, forced into a beautiful dark red dress, her long skirt fluttering around her, her long twin tails dancing in the electricity of the air contained within the bubble holding her captive. Her hands were held still by glowing golden rings that slowly spun around her wrists. Before her, the Master Key, the large instrument holding the secrets to a whole world's rebuilding, floated weightlessly.<p>

Two figures stood watch right outside the bubble, their eyes fixed on the miracle in process above them - a slim pale girl with short gray hair, clad in a boyish dark uniform, and another girl, curvier, and somewhat taller, with long light brown hair and closed eyes, in a long and frilly white and black dress, with a violin in her hands.

"It can't be stopped anymore," the pale girl commented, as though more or less detached from the subject. "Even if they were to arrive here now, there is no way to extricate the Twilight Princess. It is done. All we need do now is waiting for the rebirth."

* * *

><p>Inugami Kotaro, Kobushi Abiru, Fujiyoshi Harumi and Murakami Natsumi stood behind the worn down brick wall, breathing heavily, sweat pooling on their foreheads. So far, Natsumi had done her job of taking them deep into the enemy's secret sanctuary with her Artifact. While she would have preferred to be at her Magister's side at this vital moment, she understood the need for this step of the operation and her contribution to it. She only wished she could have had some of her friends there, like Chizu-nee, or Iinchou. She felt like she didn't exactly belong with Kotaro-kun and his roommates and Ministra, nice as they were. Well, he, at least, was nice.<p>

Once again, Natsumi's mind went back over the events of her life during the past few months (never a reassuring sign when you're in a life threatening situation). She vividly remembered being introduced, along her whole class, to Negi Springfield, their new homeroom and English teacher, who was only a child ... the most adorable, able and polite charming child she had ever met, but a child regardless. She remembered being saved by him from a nasty fall during one of her play rehearsals, in a way that didn't make full sense until she learned, during the School Festival, that he actually was a magical prodigy from Wales' Merdiana Academy.

By that point, she had already fallen hopelessy in love with him.

But Negi, she knew, already had his heart set on someone else. One of his roommates, and his first Ministra, the often sour, distant, and emotionally complex Hasegawa Chisame. She was at his side right now, while Natsumi froze under a powerful icy wind with Negi's best friend and his two scary sempai Ministra, tightening her black opera cape around herself, and keeping the mask of her Artifact on her face, despite the wind's best attempts to yank it away.

Life was unfair, but the freckled, insecure, always upstaged Natsumi was well used to that by now.

"Now, Nee-chan," Kotaro's voice pulled her from her daydreaming. "Fast."

She nodded, going with them as fast as they could, taking advantage of Quintum's wandering away after he passed dangerously near them in his patrol. One of the three Averrunci on the employ of the organization they were opposing, with a fourth one currently in unknown whereabouts with the criminal archfiend known only as the Joker. All of them highly dangerous and deadly, and none of them would have a chance against them in a direct confrontation.

Only Negi-kun.

Her Negi-kun.

And he was going to face these monsters.

They had to act quickly, for him. The sooner they pulled Asuna-san from that prison, the sooner they could retreat, hopefully before Negi-kun had to fight anyone else. That awful Dynamis person, the one who had killed Yuuna's mother back in the day, had already nearly killed him. And what was even worse in a way, Negi had almost killed him too, turning into that horrible beast for a moment ... before Chisame forced him to regain his wits.

Always Chisame.

She forced herself to ignore the tears trickling down her green eyes as she ran with them.

* * *

><p>And then, it was done. The gigantic blast from Chachamaru's satellite fell directly on Tertium, shooting him down all the way through the levels of the collapsing floating citadel and into the continent below, making Shirabe desperately yell for him. Kotaro took the moment's chance to leap from Natsumi's cloaking and slam a hand onto Sextum's chest, sending her crashing back against a crumbling wall before she could react. Harumi was just glad her advice on forgetting that gentleman crap while everyone's fate was in the balance had finally paid off.<p>

Meanwhile, with a valiant cry of "Eeeeee-HOP!" Makie jumped ahead and swung with the magical ribbon she had gotten from her Pactio with Skuld-chan. The divinity-enhanced Artifact latched onto the Master Key and pulled it swiftly towards Makie even as Shirabe reeled from the shock, then received a magic sealing bullet to the face courtesy of Yuuna.

It was working. It really was. They were working it out without Negi-kun.

Then it happened. A burst of flame flew directly towards Makie, zooming past them all.

As it happened, only one of them was close enough to block the attack. With his own body. Banpei-kun, Skuld's personal robot aid, had thrown himself up to be torn into wildly flying pieces by the shooting spear of fire, his eyes turning themselves off before his head plummeted down into the abyss.

"Ba- Banpei-san!" Chachamaru cried.

"Banpei-kun!" Skuld wailed.

The element of surprise on her side now, Sextum recovered quickly and froze Kotaro, Yuuna and Sayo in quick succession. But even she had to pause then, as she looked up at the group who had just arrived, standing together on an upper level of the wrecked battlefield. With a sadistically grinning Quartum at the lead, and with the Joker smugly smiling a short distance behind, Tsukuyomi at his side, a collection of some of the worst, most lethal villains in both Mundus Magicus and Vetus readied themselves to do battle.

* * *

><p>The terrible three way battle that ensued between those who wished to save the world, those who sought to remake it, and those who just wanted to see it burn, raged out of control, with Negi seemingly into the midst of it all, quickly forced into a desperate alliance with Sextum. By the time it was over, however, and over the defeated bodies of those who opposed them and had not fled the field once more, they had reached a greater agreement than anything that can be born from mere words.<p>

Battered and bloodied, the girl and the boy finally smiled to each other and shook hands.

"Very well. I'll listen you out, Negi-san."

That was when, from nowhere, and much to everyone's screams of terror, a massive beam pierced them through.

* * *

><p>The figure cloaked in shadows of The Lifemaker, The Mage of the Beginning, grabbed Negi's neck and lifted him, to stare into his eyes with curiously mismatched irises. Those eyes made Negi's skin crawl, the sensation rising even over his overwhelming pain. They were just like...<p>

The mysterious figure studied him with a dark, quiet fascination, and the mouth in the depths of that concealing hood moved for a moment, forming a word Negi couldn't make out through his blurring haze.

It was then that Asuna exploded out of her bubble, her sword appearing in her hands as she fell towards the Lifemaker with a savage yell of fury.

And deep the sword went into the Lifemaker's latest stolen body.

* * *

><p>Well, now this time, it really seemed to be over for good, Chisame tried to tell herself, even though she had thought the same thing at least three times before, and every other time, things had gotten worse. But this time, it seemed to be for real, since the shadows of what had been the Lifemaker's life essence seemed to flow out of their host and whimpered pitifully as they died, consuming themselves as they pooled at the feet of that person, who in turn seemed to shrink and collapse to her wobbly knees.<p>

Ignoring Setsuna's cry, Konoka ran at that person's side with her Artifact prepared, even as the Lifemaker gave a few final sputtering sounds and evaporated. Negi rested between Chisame and Asuna, coughing blood and reminding Konoka he was in an even worse state. She began healing him both from his wounds and the effort of finishing the Mage of the Beginning with Asuna's help, as a stray burst of wind pulled the hood off the mysterious enemy's face.

And they all gasped.

For they were looking at the pale, bleeding, confused and twitching face of that woman in the movies Rakan had shown them.

Arika Anarchia Entheofushia.

Negi's mother.

* * *

><p>Later - much later, when she had a far clearer picture of what had actually happened than anyone could possibly have when they were going through the situation - Natsumi came to the simple conclusion that the whole thing was Makie's fault. Well, actually, that wasn't true, but it was what she had decided telling herself.<p>

In all honesty, it couldn't be anyone's fault but Arika-sama's, of course, but no one dared telling her that (except Chisame, sometimes, and only while mumbling in a way Arika always pretended ignoring. Technically, Evangeline also could have said it on Arika's face with no worries, but for some reason or another, she never bothered doing so, perhaps because she had picked that ball up and ran with it herself. On second thought, it couldn't be anyone's fault but Arika-sama's **and** Evangeline's). So the girls had silently agreed the true fault fell on Arika-sama (and Evangeline), save Makie. Had anyone thought to ask Makie whom she was inclined to blame, she'd have just blinked in abject and ridiculously cute confusion. The notion of blame implied anger, and she had no reason to be angry at anyone. What had happened was a good thing all around. If she'd been asked, then, whom she was inclined to praise for what had happened, she would cheerfully assigned all responsibility to Negi himself.

He would have been embarrassed by that. It's probably best that nobody ever asked.

Despite everything, the girls (but Makie) already had their respective public scapegoats on whom dumping the blame since they couldn't accuse Arika-sama (or Evangeline). Those were mostly honorific positions to throw on each other's faces every once in a while, generally right before, after or during some furious making up sex. They all knew those were nothing but postures to be assumed, euphemisms to avoid saying 'It's Arika-sama's (and Evangeline's) fault', but they still were good release valves for tension, and God (better known among them as Skuld-chan's dad) knew they often needed those valves. For Yue, the sole possible public conclusion was everything had been Ayaka's fault (curiously, that was an opinion Asuna, of all people, didn't share), with that idiocy on the mourning wood and all that. That was a rather popular opinion, much to Ayaka's discomfort, but in Natsumi's public opinion, it was all Makie's doing.

Be that as it may, Natsumi would also develop an opinion on just when it had begun, and here she was more or less in tune with Yue. (Not so much Makie, who took the position that things had started much later.) In their view, the whole thing had begun when the three of them were seated on the hillside along with a stack of books that was not _quite_ as tall as Yue, pleasantly jawing about how nice it was to be back in Japan and on Earth, but how things weren't quite as happy as they might have been otherwise.

It was very soothing, for all the strangeness. Natsumi had never really spent a lot of time with either of these girls, and apparently they'd never spent a lot of time with each other. That had really surprised her when she'd learned about it; she'd had the impression that the various members of the Baka Rangers were all really close friends, but apparently that was not the case. Nonetheless, what they'd been through had all bonded them. Which was nice.

And then Makie, somewhat out of nowhere, had declared, "The next time we see Negi-kun, we'll have Yue-chan confess her love to him!"

Yue's immediate reaction to this _non sequitur_ had been to nearly cough herself to death as the frankly unspeakable and smelly beverage she was drinking went down the wrong tube. Natsumi just flushed brightly, before wondering if her ears had just tricked her or if Makie was just that dumb. After all, the unequivocal impression Natsumi had gotten up until that point had been Yue felt an attraction towards Kotaro-kun. Or Nodoka. Or possibly both, if the clues Haruna dropped occasionally could be trusted.

"What, what, what - no, what?" Yue said after regaining her breath, in a way that really made Natsumi worry. "Where did this come from?"

"I did it!" Makie proclaimed, almost making Natsumi to faint back.

"How does that _even remotely_ follow from what I asked?" asked Yue.

_"When!?"_ Natsumi asked, for this seemed to her mind the far more important question.

"Why are you encouraging her?" the librarian gasped.

"Eh?" Makie said, giggling coquettishly. "You wanna know? Really? Welll ... you see, there was this one time, when Negi-kun told me I was amazing, you see, and I told him-"

Natsumi waited for the rest of the story, but after a few moments of Makie smiling in silence, it looked like that had been all.

_"And…?"_ the actress pressed on.

"This is so foolish," muttered Ayase, standing up and picking her books back.

"Don't try running away! Now it's your turn, Yue-chan!" Makie complained, all the while Natsumi kept on waiting for her answer, although without too many hopes of ever getting it.

"Why is it my turn?" Yue asked. "I, I don't harbor any special feelings for Negi-sensei!"

At that moment, Natsumi noticed two things. First, there was a rustling noise coming from the bushes not far from where they were sitting. Secondly, there were bushes not far from where they were sitting. _Wait,_ she thought, _wasn't this a grassy slope when we sat down a few minutes ago?_

Before she could vocalize that thought, holding a pair of branches in either hand, Nodoka burst up from her camouflage and proclaimed, "I agree with Maki-chan!"

"Gyaaaah!" went all three of the girls she'd just startled with her uncharacteristically aggressive entrance.

"Pst!" Nodoka said to Natsumi and Makie, gesturing for them to get closer and then speaking _sotto voce_. "Yue was so worried about everybody else, you see, that she never wanted to tell Negi-sensei how she feels... but my theory is, if she does that, she'll get all her memories back, and then not do anything crazy like running off to Ariadne after graduation!"

"That's your theory, or Haruna's?" asked Makie, who occasionally could be more perceptive than she did let on.

"Buh-buh-but, she really likes Negi-sensei, yes or not?" stammered the young actress. "For that matter, _**you**_ really like him, yes or not?"

Nodoka then fell into a deep silence.

Makie stared at a specific spot in the air above Miyazaki's head. "Why does there seem to be a bubble above you, showing cartoons of yourself, Negi-kun, Yue-chan and Kotaro-kun together in a bed?"

"Nodoka, what are you telling these two!?" Yue, who could hear what was being said quite clearly, asked in an increasingly panic-stricken tone.

"Well, it doesn't matter! We'll help you anyway, Yue-chan!" Makie assured her. "Do it! Confess your love!"

"This is the most illogical thing I've ever heard!"

"I quite agree," said a cool, quiet voice from just behind them, which sent chills running up all four of their spines. "And I hope that realization of its illogic will help convince you to refrain from such actions."

They whirled. Standing there, not ten feet away from them, on a small puddle of cold water that hadn't been there moments ago, was the terrifying figure of Mahora's newest substitute teacher and former arch nemesis - well, perhaps not so former, at that - Sextum Averruncus, kidnapper of Konoka and Asuna, slapper of Nodoka, she who had frozen Yuuna, Sayo and Kotaro, ermine kicker (even if no one but Negi and Chamo would blame her over this last item), regarding them with the eerily bland and distant expression she nearly always had, which only made her look much more inhuman. Instantly, Makie, Nodoka, Natsumi and Yue went into defensive postures. The first three whipped out their Pactio cards, and the fourth pulled out the magic wand she had brought from Ariadne, which somehow she could hide into her flat chest.

After a moment to let her first words sink in, though, Sextum simply continued speaking. "Negi-san's current priority, after recovering from the incidents in Mundus Magicus and adapting to his new state, is working hard on his plans to save the world and find his father. He barely has the time for simple things like eating and sleeping, let alone your petty childish intrigues. He bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, and no one who is not on his own level and cannot share that burden should have anything to do with him." A brief pause. "To explain it in simpler terms, he's mine, mine, all mine, and you should give up on him."

Sheerest shock at the blunt statement was the only expression to be seen on any of the girls' faces. (As it happened, there was a certain measured amount of relief that Haruna wasn't here to hear that statement in Nodoka and Yue's minds, but it was drowned out by shock.)

"I have nothing personal against you. As long as you don't give us any reasons to clash again, I will permit you to go on living your simple and peaceful lives without needing to fear anything from me," Sextum said, looking up in the sky. "However, should you interfere with—We will continue this conversation at another time," she said in the exact same tone, as Negi rode his wand down to where they were standing, like an angel descending from the sky, looking genuinely happy to see everyone present.

"Girls!" he said. "What a pleasant surprise. I imagined you'd already be back at home, but… sorry, I understand now, you were showing the school to Sextum-san, weren't you? That's so kind and generous from you."

"Uh…" they chorused, glancing from him to Sextum and back again.

Until, coughing slightly for no apparent reason, Sextum interposed. "Just a moment, Negi-san?"

"Hm? Something wrong?"

"Since the student curfew is about to take effect, perhaps _you_ could continue showing me the campus around as we discuss the process of acquiring the materials for the Elevator?"

"Oh, I would love that!"

"And perhaps, you could join me for some coffee…"

"Tea."

"Coffee."

"Tea."

"Coffee!"

"Tea!"

"COFFEE!"

"TEA!"

**"'COFFEE!"**

**"TEA!"**

For a moment, their battle auras clashed together with a deafening boom, as the skies grew darker. It would have been terrifying, but for the schoolgirls, it was a hope inspiring sight, since it meant there was no chance they -

Then the unthinkable happened. Sextum smiled, a small, subtle, _sweet_ smile. "Hot cocoa," she proposed.

Negi smiled back. "Hot cocoa sounds excellent!"

And the skies shone splendidly again, yet the world grew suddenly dark for Yue, Nodoka, Natsumi and Makie.

Sextum turned towards them. "Head back to your rooms immediately or you will be penalized, unless you happen to carry a special pass. Remember, monsters from the Magical World might still be stalking these grounds."

"Doubtless," nodded Yue. "As a matter of fact, I think I saw one today."

"Eh?" Negi blinked.

"It doesn't matter," Sextum said as she gently led Negi away from the girls, down the path. "I am sure, _together_, the two of us can handle any inconvenience..."

"Ah, yes, you're right. See you tomorrow, girls..."

The quartet watched them walk away, impotently. Natsumi only waved a hand in a weak farewell, as Makie ended up asking, "Remind me why is **she** here?"

"There's no prison in the Magical World that could hold her, and no better place to keep her watched than close to the boy who defeated her, the Maga Nosferata, and an Ala Rubra member," Nodoka summed up.

"... we're gonna take her down," Makie proclaimed quietly, yet firmly.

"Wait," said Yue, all of a sudden. "What did she say about a 'new state' for Negi-sensei?"

* * *

><p>"Arika Hime-sama," the old man with the oddly shaped bald head bowed deeply as she entered his luxurious Mahora office. "Please take a seat. Welcome, and please forgive how I'm bothering you so early after your release. Would you like something to drink? I can call for Shizuna-kun -"<p>

"No, thank you," the tall blond woman said, polite but dry. "What can I do to help you?" she asked, with a subtle air of resignation.

"Actually, it's more about what you can do for Negi-kun," answered Konoe Konoemon, Headmaster of Mahora Academy.

A young representative of a certain powerful nation in the Mundus Magicus sat near him, with her oddly colored small dog on her lap. Both of them were taking illusionary forms to hide their true natures, and Arika figured out their presence had to mean what was going to be discussed there would have ramifications for the World of Magic itself. Hardly surprising, in the wake of the events at Old Ostia. The former Queen acknowledged the dark haired girl's submissive bowing with a respectful nod of her head.

"You are aware of how many Ministra has Negi-kun acquired to this point, I assume."

"Indeed," Arika said. "Hasegawa-san, her older sister, Hakase-san, Kasuga-san, Asuna, Murakami-san, Akashi-san, Yukihiro-san, Suzushiro-san, your granddaughter, Sakurazaki-san, Nagase-san, Asakura-san, Karakuri-san, Ku-san, Shiina-san and Kakizaki-san. What of it?"

He coughed softly. "Wouldn't you agree that is quite a large number, gathered over quite a short time, for someone so young?"

"Since it is thanks to those partners that Mundus Magicus is saved and I am free, I don't think it is my place, or any of ours for that matter, to question it." Her voice was even as she answered.

"Undoubtedly." The Principal hummed, looking more troubled now, "But even then, I'm afraid this situation cannot sustain itself for any longer. We would like you to help us deliver the difficult news to him, that he needs to select a single Partner, and permit the rest to return to their normal lives."

"By which you mean that they would be stripped of their memories of the time spent with my son?" Arika asked, sounding unsurprised and yet deeply disappointed nonetheless.

"It is the standard procedure."

"We hardly are in the aftermath of a standard event, and my son is hardly a standard mage anymore, so I fail to see the use of applying a standard procedure."

"That's precisely part of the problem, actually. Hime-sama, you know the standards are there for a reason. They act as a necessary containment element for keeping the balance of magic and mundanity. It's not as though we distrust Negi-kun at all, but it would set a bad precedent -"

Her icy scowl had been growing as he spoke, add now she interrupted. "And yet, he knows Nagi's Pactios with Rakan and Albireo have stood for years. Do you truly intend to feed him the common lie about the system itself not allowing multiple Pactios for long? How stupid do you believe him to be?"

"Not at all!" Konoemon was growing frankly impatient, making the girl and her dog feel terribly awkward, caught in the middle of it. "But it's hardly the same situation. Negi-kun will not be punished, because his intentions were good and everything worked out for the best, but still, the rules must be enforced."

"Unless grave changes have been made in my absence, that one is an unwritten rule, mostly applied out of convenience. You have no need to enforce it."

"Or do I?" he mused aloud.

"Fine then. Perhaps I should rephrase myself. Negi has no need to obey it."

"Hime-sama, don't do this. Negi-kun will listen to you -"

"As he wouldn't listen to you?"

"Of course he would, but even so, if you would oppose -"

"Which I do, naturally," Arika said. "You are asking me to take part in a conspiracy, a hoax to make my son believe he is obliged to give up all the alliances he and his loved ones have forged with blood and sweat. To pretend that reducing his range, his potential down to a level you would consider acceptable for your interests, is also in his own. Do you have any idea how much pain that would wreck upon him, who already was cut off from anyone he ever loved? Do you even care about him? About them?"

"It cannot be helped," Konoemon replied as he gestured for the girl and her dog to leave the room. With a shaky nod and quick if clumsy feet, they did so. He continued. "Their relationships just cannot be allowed to go any further, as I hope you are aware. Especially considering the ties most of them share. He'll be allowed to continue with his projects with the partner of his choice, no matter who she happens to be. Even if she were Konoka. That is my promise. We consider it a fitting reward for him, since he never was interested in accolades."

"How generous. I see. Would you granddaughter be one of those mindwiped, in the event she isn't to be 'selected', then?"

He crossed his bony fingers over the desk. "Well. After a lot of heated deliberations, we've decided that, since Konoka-chan already has become an accomplished mage in her own right, and as she has a single Ministra of her own, and is unlikely to ever pick another one, she and Setsuna-kun will be spared the memory wipe. Their Pactios with Negi-kun will still be revoked, however."

"How convenient for your family."

He sighed. "Arika-sama, I beg of you, don't make this any harder for any of us."

"No. I have to. I won't be an accomplice in this felony, this betrayal of the people who risked their lives for your collective sake . What you intend to do is discard my son and his allies after they have served your goals, to avoid having another Ala Rubra in your hands. Negi owed you nothing. You gave him a job at your Academy, yes, but he proceeded to repay it by taking a class of misfits and underachievers and shaping it into, not only the best class in your academy, but also an efficient battle unit that just saved two worlds. And now, you repay them by breaking them apart and cheating them out of the priceless bonds they have formed."

He frowned again. "As I have told you, it would be problematic for everyone, themselves included, if they -"

"Yes, I don't doubt it would be problematic. Negi and his comrades grow stronger by the day, and several have ideas of their own, which is a grave sin in the magical community. You want to pull his reins back before his companions make him see some things for what they are, don't you? So far, he'll blindly trust you, but once he learns more secrets about him and his class, and why you chose to keep them together under your watch -"

The unthinkable happened, and he dared to interrupt her. "Madame! Your assumptions are out of place!"

"I may have just been reborn, Konoe, but don't you dare to act as though I were born yesterday," the woman said indignantly. "You know I am perfectly aware of your career, and have been so long before I was possessed. Eishun filled me in what I didn't experience firsthand. Don't think I have forgotten your past misdeeds, justified as many of them were. I will not judge you for them, since I am not without mine either. But don't pretend your motives come from mere concerns on Negi's bloodline. I know perfectly well how Kouko came to be conceived."

At that, he went pale and still for a moment, before relaxing back into the chair with subtly troubled breathing. "Very well. I cannot force your hand, and you are correct, neither I can force Negi-kun's. I still, however, have authority over who can stay in this school and who cannot."

"Would you fall low enough as to hurt your own granddaughter with that?"

"If needed so, to save her from greater grief, yes!"

"Because that always has been your favored solution, has not it? To sweep your concerns away, under the rug. The Senate washes them away with blood, but at least you are benevolent enough to resort only to lies and hidden truths. Like my son was never even told of my name! My very existence!"

"Most would have said we did him a favor!"

"And you have seen, time and time again, how well those favors work out in the end, haven't you? You have been proved you cannot keep those secrets forever! Negi, Konoka, Akashi-san, all learned, because they were fated to! You cannot deny them their birthrights! Certainly, no one denied you yours!"

He sighed. "Sometimes, I wish they had."

"That, sir, is a coward's way. You are fortunate your grandchild is not here to witness such a pitiful confession."

He murmured darkly before allowing, "Out of what I owe Nagi, and out of sympathy and thanks for Negi-kun, I will give him one more semester here, while I contemplate the subject. That's all I can do for now."

"You are very generous."

"Don't thank me. As you know, most powers in the know are wary about you, not only because of your possession, not only because of those slanders thrown on you, but because..."

"They are afraid I am just like my father. Yes, I know," she softly allowed. She stood up. "Regardless, and despite everything, I offer you my thanks, still. Perhaps I should have considered your situation with more sympathy, but my priorities lie with my son's happiness."

"I only hope you know what's better for it," he observed.

She nodded. "I intend to learn it. Is there something else to debate?"

"Not for now. Have a good afternoon, Hime-sama."

"Likewise, Konoe," she bowed again before leaving.

On her way out, she passed next to the girl and her dog, who now sat on a chair at a prudent distance from the office's door. "E-Excuse me, but what's going to happen?" the young female asked.

"They will stay together," Arika promised, with a gentle nod. "Oh, please do tell your rose-haired friend I liked the cupcakes."

"I will!" She nodded quickly. Good to know, despite her obvious sorrow during the farewell party for Ala Alba, and how most of those present for it had been deeply wary of her, Arika-sama still seemed to have derived some enjoyment out of it, in her own way.

Arika smiled, and then walked down the corridor and out of sight.

* * *

><p>That night, Arika Entheofushia just couldn't sleep.<p>

It was not a matter of her accommodations themselves. She had known far worse, starting with a certain cell where she was molested day after day before being thirteen, not to mention another cell where she had been kept twenty four hours a day in a straightjacket. Hakase Satomi had been kind enough to offer her bed, but Arika had refused it and taken the couch instead. She liked it better than a futon, although under normal circumstances she could have slept in one as well with no problems.

That night was far from normal circumstances.

Her mind wouldn't let the recent events go. It was bad enough she couldn't remember anything from the moment she was possessed, including what had happened to Nagi afterwards, or what she had done as the Lifemaker's host body. Being distrusted and feared by everyone in Mundus Magicus, only saved from a new imprisonment by the pleas of her son and his allies, was also bad. But she was well used to be the target of hatred and prejudice. What was truly bothering her now, however, was her earlier conversation with the Headmaster.

It wouldn't let go of her mind.

It was so bad, she was fully awake past midnight, when she heard Hasegawa Chisame's cry from the bedroom. Bolting to her bare feet, Arika stormed into the small room, in a tight night robe loaned from Minamoto Shizuna, to find the thin, pimpled girl with long light brown hair sitting on the floor, in pajamas, with bulging eyes and her hands planted on the carpet.

"What has happened?" Arika asked, seeing Negi had, as usual, crawled into Chisame's bunk and slept peacefully there, on his right flank. That couldn't be what had scared the girl, however, since as Arika understood, that was a recurring habit of her son. Besides, judging by the way the petite black haired Satomi and Chamo the white ermine slept like logs in her bunk and his underwear drawer respectively, whatever had disturbed Chisame's sleep couldn't have been too impressive.

Chisame still looked as though it had, however, as she turned widened fearful eyes on Arika in the darkness, and hesitated, falling silent after whispering an agitated, "He ... he has just ... um. N-Never mind!"

Arika scowled, since she hated being lied to. "What has happened?" she repeated herself.

"N-Nothing, really!" Chisame said, getting up and dusting herself off, not looking directly at her, her cheeks red. "I ... It was just a nightmare I had! Can you blame me after all of that?"

The girl was spirited, to talk to her like that, but a horrible liar. Arika made her way past her with a few long steps, despite Chisame's urgent pleas of normalcy, of there being no need for it. Paying no mind, Arika climbed up to the upper bunk, pulled the sheets covering most of Negi's lower body, and then had her suspicions confirmed.

There was a small but noticeable poking tent in Negi's pajama bottoms.

She literally could hear Chisame sweating by the bucketfuls behind her.

"Is this the first time?" she asked in a subdued whisper.

"Ahhh." Chisame blabbered. "Y-Yeah. I think so."

Arika, after taking the sleeping boy's face delicately in her hands and studying it up close, asked again, just as low, "What did you do to provoke this reaction?"

"Wha- Nothing!" Chisame hissed, then covered her mouth with both hands before continuing, quite lower in tone, "What do I know about this? How could I know the first thing about men's ... things? He, he keeps crawling into my bed, and I allowed it because he always has those nightmares, and he grew used to it with his sister, but this!"

"It is a perfectly normal development. Don't exaggerate," Arika chided her.

Chisame groaned, then gasped as she saw Arika carefully running her fingers over the small pant bulge, making Negi moan softly. "Wha- Wha- What are you -!" Chisame gulped.

Arika kept an analytic, cold look on the cloth covered member for a moment before climbing back down, taking Chisame by an arm, and dragging her over to the kitchenette. She softly slid the door closed, and made her sit with her, at opposite sides of the breakfast table. "How old do you think Negi is, right now?"

"Ehhh? W-Well, he was like ten when he arrived here, although maybe it was more like late nine - he didn't explain himself all that well - and it's been less than a year since, so I guess, eleven, but... ahhh... since, let's say late May, we started training in Evangeline's resort, where it's one day spent there for each hour out here, and we go there like five days a week, each day including three hour long sessions, so..."

"Counting the time you spent in Mundus Magicus, he's twelve now," Arika concluded after some mental calculations, resting her arms on the table. "No wonder he's starting to experience puberty."

"Well, he can't sleep with me anymore after this!" Chisame protested.

"Forget that," the blonde waved her concern off. "Right now, Negi needs our support and help more than ever. What do you think we were discussing in my meeting with the Headmaster today? He wanted my help to tell Negi he had to pick a single one of you as his partner, and have the memories of the rest erased."

After a moment of trying to figure out what she had just heard, Chisame went, "What? How?"

"Never mind. That won't be a concern for the immediate moment. I naturally refused to go along with it, and he has promised to let the matter rest for now. At this time, Negi still needs all of you. Not only do we still have to find Nagi, but the solution Asuna offered Mundus Magicus is a temporary relief at best. And now ... this development happens." She actually smiled. "It makes me happy, however. I missed far too many moments in my son's life, but I will be the one to give him his first serious talk on such an important subject."

"Um, well ... yeah, you're welcome to it. But why were you t-touching his -" The girl trailed off.

Arika considered finishing the sentence with some of the more colorful sections of her Japanese or English vocabularies, but decided to forebear for the moment. "When you have a fever, doesn't your mother ever touch your forehead? Doesn't she lovingly apply kisses on your bruises? Why should this be any different?"

"Oh, my mother is kind of a... an unpleasant person, to say the least. She's my stepmother, actually. Our real mother died when Kobato was born."

That took Arika by surprise. "What?!"

Chisame nodded slowly. "Yeah. She and Dad spend most of their time overseas, anyway, so ... but, but that isn't the point! That's different from a ... from a ... from an erection! You, you can't just go and touch an erection, I mean, I know he's your son and you're a princess, but still -"

Arika had a hand on her own mouth, not really listening anymore. "Hasegawa Airi, dead. My dear Gods. Why weren't we ever told?"

That made Chisame take yet another abrupt mental U-turn, as her consciousness was being bombarded from all sides tonight. "Wait, how do you know her name? Don't tell me you knew her!"

"We knew many of your parents," Arika said, standing back up, "But that's a discussion to be had later. If you're uncomfortable sleeping with Negi tonight, take the couch and I will take his futon."

"Why can't HE take HIS futon?" Chisame complained. "That's MY bed in the first place!"

Arika already was moving for the door. "Tomorrow, after classes, I want you to head to the Library and research male biology. Don't come back until you have learned all you think you might need to know to help Negi cope with this key stage of his growth."

"But, tomorrow I have a special web session -"

Arika gave her a Look.

"- which can wait until late tomorrow night," Chisame decided.

"Good."

By the time Chisame went back to the bedroom, however, Negi had already sleepwalked down to Satomi's bunk, and both of them slept fondly in each other's arms.

For some reason, having her bunk available again didn't make Chisame particularly happy.

* * *

><p>It has been said that every road, even those to Heaven and Hell, starts with a single step.<p>

For Hasegawa Chisame, that particular step was taken when she walked into Library Island that afternoon, after classes, to begrudgingly undertake the 'assignment' Princess Arika had given her. It was so stupid. The woman didn't have any actual power anymore, and in fact she was mooching off Chisame. She didn't have a single yen to her name, and yet it was like she owned the place just by arriving there. For some reason going beyond basic politeness, Chisame felt like she couldn't contradict her; she was a lot like Evangeline, in that way.

Of course, even now, Chisame wasn't absolutely sure Evangeline wasn't their enemy. True, she had given them a lot of help lately, ever since Chisame, Negi, Hakase and Kakizaki defeated her that cold night on the suspension bridge. But Eva had never hidden that she had an ultimate purpose for giving them her assistance - namely getting Negi to break the curse that kept the small bloodsucker chained to Mahora. A curse placed on her by Negi's infamous father, the Thousand Master. Who knew what would she do once she had what she wanted and had no further need for any of them? Even now, Chisame wasn't sure Negi could defeat her if she used all of her powers against him.

And just as with Evangeline, she wasn't completely sure Arika could be trusted. She had been, after all, the host body for the Thousand Master's greatest enemy, and even if the others said his influence had been completely purged out of her body, Chisame couldn't help but wonder...

Annnd she had left Negi alone with her. Gah. Well, as she tried to reassure herself, Negi was a big boy now (maybe actually too big for Chisame's comfort) and he could look after himself. It wasn't like Chisame could help him a lot in a direct physical fight, either. But, still...

She passed in front of the absent-minded Professor Diedrich, who sat, as usual, behind his reception desk, hunchbacked over one of his old tomes on Psychology, always dressed in formal dark brown, with an old pet crow on his shoulder. The foreign college teacher and part-time librarian creeped almost all of the student librarians out, although Miyazaki seemed to be rather fond of him, and apparently the misanthrope answered to that fondness to some degree - a dubious honor no one else but that damn sinister crow shared, to Chisame's knowledge. Instead of dealing with him, Chisame chose to head over to the desk of the other receptionist present at the time, one Shiomiya Shiori, from the plaque on her desk. The girl was one or two years older than Chisame and most of her classmates, but she was twice as shy as Miyazaki had been before Negi's arrival.

"G-G-Good afternoon," the black haired girl stuttered pathetically when she saw Chisame approaching. "M-M-May I help you with anything?"

This was it. Maybe it would be better to just answer with a 'No', turn around and leave, but then Arika's face appeared in Chisame's mind, and that made the decision for her. Discreetly, the younger girl slipped a note over Shiori's desk. The other girl quickly read it with huge curious eyes.

It only said, _Books on the male reproductive system, please_.

_"For a class project,"_ Chisame whispered, hoping she wasn't blushing as much as the girl who now turned those large disbelieving eyes on her.

Shiori nodded clumsily and whispered back. "E-e-excuse me, j-just a m-moment, please." Then she quickly scurried, on shaky but deceptively strong and fast legs, into the depths of the library.

Knowing how gigantic Library Island was, even without counting the underground levels full of insanity Negi and Chisame had visited during the whole End of 2-A's Term Fiasco, the girl with glasses calculated the young librarian would take at least one hour to get to where such material was stashed and bring her a 'decent' selection of reading material on that subject she didn't want to know about.

Five minutes later, Shiori returned pushing a large cart jam packed with enough books to last Chisame a week. Hasegawa immediately pegged her as a closet pervert who kept all that material at hand at all times. And she was right about the closet pervert part, but the truth was Shiori could have gotten her an equally large amount of books on any other subject with the same speed and efficiency.

"W-Will this be enough?" the shy girl struggled to keep her voice very low. It wasn't difficult at all for her, even if it WAS hard for Chisame to hear her correctly.

"I ... I think so, yeah," Chisame admitted. "Is there any place where I can get an idea of what I need?"

Shiori pointed down a side hall. "A-All the way to the end, th-there's an empty table where you can review the, the material and you, you only need to tell me afterwards what, what you need to -"

Chisame stopped her with a dry calming gesture, since it was obvious stringing the words together was killing her.

Leaving the sighing girl behind, Chisame pushed her cart of doom down the hall. Well, she figured that nervous wreck of a girl wouldn't tell anyone. Chisame doubted she even could complete a sentence on the subject of sex without fainting.

Much like Honya, actually.

Or so Chisame believed, at least, not like she really cared.

On her way, she heard the familiar weak, muffled sounds of Fuuka and Fumika doing ... what they did, coming from behind a particularly tall and wide bookstand. Chisame cringed. Didn't they ever get tired of that? It was sick and disgusting, and yet they kept doing it everywhere. Chisame prayed for the day when Nitta would catch them in the act at last and put a swift end to their ... perverted nonsense.

She absently kicked a small pair of wet panties left in her path towards the bookstand, rubbed her shoe on the floor as if cleaning it as best as she could, and then kept on marching to the promised table. She set the cart next to her chair, opened a book at random, and sat down to read it. She was met with the vision of a titanic block of text only Hakase would have felt comfortable with. Okay, this one was a definitive no-no, then. Leaving it aside without even bothering to actually read the lines, she reached for another book, but her hand froze mid-way.

She had just felt an evil presence right behind her. She could faintly hear the ahoge twitching, making the faintest but most threatening of all sounds.

"Oh, hey, Chi-chan!" Saotome Haruna's voice chirped feistily. "Whatcha doing here, all alone?"

It had to be the road to hell, Chisame decided.

* * *

><p>"There's something I have to ask you," the woman said, with some nonetheless elegant hesitation. She was only slightly taller than the tallest of his students, with long blond hair just a touch lighter than Yukihiro Ayaka's, and now, incredibly, seated seiza on the other side of the coffee table, in a skirt and sweater borrowed from Shizuna-sensei, both of which were too big for her. She was well aware that she was starting this conversation off in what had to be one of the worst of all possible ways.<p>

"Then ask," replied Negi, with an awkward but sincere smile. "I'll be glad to answer to any question you might have."

For a moment, Arika considered Negi T. Springfield, last heir prince of the lost land of Ostia, son of the legendary Thousand Master, sharply well dressed in a dark green suit and red tie, a far cry from the tattered clothes he sported when he had rescued her. Her son.

Seeking clues to the whereabouts of his father, he had found her, rescued her, and brought her to his current workplace, Mahora Academy. And here she was.

She had never permitted herself to wonder what had happened to him. During her years of imprisonment, she had basically given up on any pretenses of hope beyond the strictly necessary to keep herself alive. She wanted to believe he always would find a way to survive and prosper, much like his father always did, but she refused to ponder exactly how would he do so, because such course of thoughts would eventually only would bring her to doubt, and then despair, and finally weakness. And what had happened when she learned of what had become of his father (or rather, what little was publicly known of his fate) had further soured her on such speculations.

She was so glad that Chisame-san, Hakase-san and even Chamomile had all withdrawn to give the two of them this time together in their room, and-

"Ummm... I'm waiting for that answer?" Negi gently interjected, sounding somewhat concerned.

Arika blinked only once, snapping out of her thoughts. Had her ordeals done so much against her attentive qualities? A truly troubling thought, if true. "Oh, my apologies. I was trying to think of the best way to ask you," Arika temporized, as she had been doing no such thing. But politics tend to teach you of the best ways to lie without being found out.

"Oh, don't worry, it's admirable that you show so much care for what you are going to ask," Negi replied, with a slight shake of his head. "Please, you shouldn't ever have to apologize over that."

"Well," she replied, "I am given to understand that you know that you have made many pacts with your students. Since I have been told that you wish to be like that person who was your father, you should be congratulated for achieving that goal, in part, by following in his footsteps in that manner." Just what she thought of that notion was not apparent from either her face, her tone, or her words. "However, I would appreciate being told exactly about your particular relationship with one of those students. I am talking, of course, about the one you know as Kagurazaka Asuna."

Negi fought panic. Despite teaching girls for so long, despite training by and alongside them, he was no closer to having an understanding of the way that their moods could change in an instant. And now this girl, this woman, asked that in a way so controlled as to render the most sanguine of his companions an open book by comparison. And he wanted to hurt her even less, he abruptly realized, than he had wanted to hurt Nekane.

And yet, he was fully sure he would have to answer her, with the truth. So that was exactly what he did then.

"Well, you'll see, I ... I believe that I have grown very, very close to Asuna-san. She was one of my first partners, after all, and she has been steadily at my side as long as she has been able to do so. When she was taken away from us, I... I realized I wanted her to be my true partner, in all ways. And... more than that, I believe... that I care about her, as that person who was my father, cared about you. And, even more than that, I believe that she cares about me, as you cared about him." Negi was blushing, fairly sure that his skin resembled his hair.

"I see. But I was under the impression-" Arika began.

"I know, it can't be, it never could be!" Negi said in a rush. "Not only because of our relationship as teacher and student, not only because of our blood ties, even if they are distant, but because... but because of what I'll have to do to her! I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry! You have the right to know, as well, but I've been a coward and stalling this until the last possible moment! Pretending everything was okay, when it's not at all! I'm the worst! I'm going to sacrifice Asuna, despite all she means to me, despite all she's done for me! And, and I won't blame you if you hate me over it, because she's your relative as well!"

"Ah," she said, after several long moments of stunned, wide eyed silence. Just that, and nothing else.

Negi stared at the tea set on the table between them. The gleam of its silver did nothing to settle his nerves, but he could not meet his mother's gaze as she considered his statement. He barely noticed the tears streaming down his face.

Then, with an intake of breath that was too abbreviated to be called a sigh, she replied. "I suspected as much, and yet... the blow still managed to be much worse than I had been expecting. That was, after all, what Asuna was born for."

He sniffled. "I know, and even so, it's just... wrong. I should have been better than those who created her. In all the years that have passed ever since, we should have found another way, to be better than that, to-"

"Don't blame yourself, for it has not been too long since that destiny was placed on her. It has been only fifteen years now," she interrupted him.

Confused, he lifted his head. "Only fifteen? But I thought-!"

Arika looked at her son in silence for a moment before answering. "You have been told about Asuna's origins... but there is more that they have not chosen or been able to say, before now. Most of it concerns matters that I learned about long after they took you away from me, and much of it is mere conjecture. I suspect that only my father knows all of what he was planning, and-" A shadow crossed her face. "Knew, rather," she corrected herself. "Knew. The point is... Asuna is not exactly the person you are thinking about. She was born, in large part, to replace another girl with her name, who possessed the power of Magic Cancel. She was, I believe, the true Asuna, Twilight Princess, you have learned about... even if, for all intents and purposes, they should fare the same in your projects."

"Is she..." a terrible understanding was dawning in Negi's mind, making his throat go dry, "... your sister?"

"You will not like this," Arika warned him.

"I don't like any of this!" Negi snapped.

"You will like this least of all. That girl, the original Asuna... I have more questions than answers about her origins. She was hidden away inside a temporal distortion which kept her perpetually young until such times as her power was required. She was given a few moments of life every century, for nearly three thousand years. But just as memory suppression magic is imperfect, and true memories will come out, so too is the shield of time imperfect... and the entropy against which it seeks to protect will find a way through."

Negi stared, aghast, overwhelmed by too many emotions at once.

She sighed. "And so it was that, by the time I was a child, that girl was dying. And so a replacement was sought after, and... one was found. And they replaced her with Asuna, and... she was granted release from her suffering."

_"They killed her?"_ Negi whispered. "Are you saying-"

"Again, I do not know. I think it likely that she simply expired from... the phase 'natural causes' was never intended for a situation like this." Arika shook her head. "As for whether Asuna, the one you love, is my sister or not... In a sense, she is."

"In a sense?"

"In the sense that she is also the daughter of Alladia Autarkia Entheofushia, that person who was my father, yes, she is my sister. But not in other senses."

Negi sighed. Not what he had hoped for. None of this was, or could be. But he had needed to know the truth. "I see," he said sadly. "She was the daughter of one of his mistresses." He could not think of that person as his grandfather, knowing of his true role in the tragedy that had wreaked-

"I was her mother," Arika said.

- such havoc...

Slowly, he felt the red in his face go away, in such a way that he thought it would never return. "What?" he asked, not recognizing the sound of his voice.

"I was her mother," his mother repeated. "I had just lately seen my twelfth year, as reckoned by the old world, when my father decided to create a child who possessed the power of Magic Cancel, to replace the withering Twilight Princess. He came to me several times, and then, in the normal course of events, I was delivered of a daughter. She was taken away from me, I was told what her name would be, and I did not see her again until she was also present when you rescued me from my captivity."

Negi's jaw worked, but he made no sound. His eyes widened, but he could not see.

Silently, Arika took up her tea cup and sipped, visibly strained under her calmed facade.

* * *

><p>Chisame's skin crawled as she felt Haruna looking over her shoulder, her large, sharp dark eyes scanning the books Chisame had brought with vivacious interest. Trying to hide them now was completely useless. Any moment now, she would ask -<p>

"Hoo-hoo-hooo! What an interesting choice of reading material, Chi-chan! Never would have expected it from you! Why the sudden interest? Don't tell me it's because of that eyeful you got from Rak-"

The biggest book Chisame had at hand met Haruna's face. "WHA-WHAT-HOW DID YOU -?!"

Shiori's head peeked around a corner, with an uncharacteristically stern expression and a piercing, shrill sound of _JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_ coming from her. Chisame gulped, promised, _"I'll be quiet,"_ in a whisper, and the head retreated back the way it came, silently.

Chisame shuddered a little. What an unnerving voiceless sound! How had she done it? Furthermore, why did she feel like she had heard it before? Oh, yes, that girl who followed Itoshiki-sensei around all the freaking time.

(Management wishes to express its apologies to Shadow Crystal Mage over this departure from Unequally Rational and Emotional canon.)

Haruna chuckled goofily, wiping a red stain from her nose. In a low voice, because even she was wary of The Shiori in Protect The Library's Sanctity Mode, she said, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about! We are all growing, and so have growing needs, and curiosity is a natural thing, and it's actually better to read books about it than looking for it through the Intern-"

Chisame pressed a hand around Haruna's mouth. "How. Did. You. Know. About. The. Eyeful?"

"Ccchhhhmmm tlllddd mmmmmm!" Haruna said.

Chisame hissed. "That white rat will pay!"

Haruna chuckled again as she pulled her mouth free. "There's no need to be so repressed! I'd be glad to help, actually. Why, I taught Yue and Nodoka all they know, and while they haven't gotten in any practice - I think - they know so much theory, when the moment comes, they -"

_"It isn't that!"_ Chisame managed to scream her whisper while rattling the dumbly laughing Haruna. _"It's for a school project!"_

Now that made Haruna stop laughing, stiffen herself enough to stop Chisame's rattling, and say, very seriously, "We have the exact same classes, in the event you don't remember. Don't insult my intelligence, and I won't insult yours."

Chisame boiled impotently, then let her go and slammed a hand palm on the table, and the other one in her own forehead.

Haruna blinked twice. "Chisame. Don't tell me, is Negi-kun already showing -?"

"Whaaa- NO!" At the very loud **AHEM** in Shiori's voice from the other end of the hall, Chisame whispered again, "What, what makes you think that nonsense? That's just plain ridiculous, he's only a brat."

"Well," Haruna reasoned, "Considering all the time we have spent in the resort, and then in Mundus Magicus, he must be aging faster than he normally would have. Look, it's happening to me too! Look at how big my breasts have gotten!" she gushed, pushing her boobs together and nearly drooling on them. "Oooh, my pretties, how much I love you..."

Blushing fiercely, Chisame sputtered incoherencies before saying, "Ah, no, that isn't, it, not yet."

"Ah, no?"

"No! W-Why aren't you with Honya and Ayase, anyway?"

"Card Hunting, and Children's Lit Club," Haruna said in an even lower tone. "And don't derail this conversation, Missy! I'm his Ministra too, and I have every right to know what may be plaguing my Magister! You aren't the only one who loves him, you know!"

"I, I don't love -!" Chisame backed away on her chair, then sizzled. "Fine! I, I just wanted to know if my parents could have any more children at their age! Satisfied?"

Haruna deflated a bit. "Oh. Oh, is that all?"

"Yes! Why, yes, it is!"

"Oh." She seemed genuinely disappointed. "Ah, that's ... understandable, then. I guess I'm sorry about intruding in your private life, then."

"Really?" Chisame asked suspiciously.

"Hey, I have parents who still are madly in love with each other too," Haruna explained. "Often, Ranma and me do worry about that kind of thing. Mom's too much of a traditionalist to use protection, but, well, she's past the age where pregnancies are safe anymore."

Chisame nodded slowly. Well, it seemed to have worked, thank God.

"So I'll help you with all the research you need!" Haruna decided, sounding far too friendly for Chisame's comfort.

"Oh, no, it's not necessary at all!"

"Oh, but I insist! Let me see what you have here." At a dizzying speed, she rummaged through Chisame's books, barely looking at their covers before either setting them aside or down in front of the cosplaying hacker. "This one won't do... nor this one... ah, but this one's cool... nah, this one's lame... oh, this one's great! Juicy pictures, too! Here we have one of my favorites... I think Nodoka likes this one, but it's too tame ... this one sucks, and not in the good way... here you have a winner! You can't be without this one... but never leave this one near Negi... or better yet, do! Ah-hah! Now here's what I call a classic!"

Chisame slumped down in her chair, miserably.

When Haruna was involved in something, there was no way to win.

* * *

><p>That gesture was the last straw, and Negi began to weep. "Oh," he said, through his sobs. "Oh, this is ... I had thought that I had seen the worst, but this is ... oh, mother, how could he ... oh, how can I -"<p>

She crossed the distance between them in a heartbeat, wrapping one arm around him While the other reached up to pull his hands away from where they clutched his face, so that they could face each other He could see the stoic expression gone, gone utterly, and what replaced it was something that he could not understand in the slightest as she mouthed a single word. "No."

"What?" he asked again, through tears.

"No," his mother repeated. "I will not have you, of all people, thinking of me as a victim. I am no one's victim, my son. What I have done with my life is done by my own choices. Yes, my father ended my innocence. But it was my choice to continue living afterwards. That is the only choice we have, sometimes, whether to live with the consequences of what has happened or to die and escape them. I have chosen to live."

"Okaasama," he said, softly and with wonder. It was the first time he had ever called her that.

Incredibly, she blushed.

"Do... do you hate Asuna-san? Is this why you haven't told her about any of this?" he asked.

"Why would I hate her?" Arika asked, sounding genuinely confused. "She is my child, as precious to me as you are. And she is the most important person to you, and so even more dear to me."

"But -"

"I do not hate anyone, my son. Hatred is pointless. I do not even hate that person who was my father, or the memory of him." Her eyes went distant. "What I feel is a sorrow, of sorts. Afterwards, we were no closer than we had been before that. All that I was, to him, was a vessel for his ambitions. And I was and am saddened that that was all he cared about, when I cared for him."

"Oh," Negi said, for that was all that he could think to say.

She nodded, then. "You were afraid, weren't you, that this would ruin your partnership, and your other feelings, with Asuna? Folly. I abandoned you, for reasons that I thought were good, perhaps, but I forfeited any right to approve or disapprove of what you do with your life when I did so. But even if I did have that right, I would still approve of what you feel for her."

He found his voice again. "But she is my -" Then once more lost it, as he struggled to find the word to call Asuna. Sister? Aunt? Sister-aunt?

"She is the person you care about most in this entire world," Arika suggested, caressing his hair. "If you are separated from her, not a day will pass when you do not think of her. As for the rest... what of it? As I told you, I loved my father. He did not love me, and so it brought sorrow. But when love is mutual, it brings joy. And that is never wrong. No matter what."

Again, she caressed his hair... lingeringly, this time. "You are about twelve years old, now, aren't you?" she asked softly.

"Uh ... no, I'm, I'm eleven," Negi answered hesitantly.

"I don't think so," Arika disagreed. "That person who was your father's stalker has told me about the days you spent in her mansion, where time passes more swiftly than it does here in the old world. And you spent months in the new world that passed in days here, too. You are older than you know, my son."

Once again, she crossed the distance between them, this time moving so that their faces had no distance at all, so that their noses and lips touched. Her kiss was not like the ones he'd had from his students, or even the forceful, passionate kiss of his Master. It was like the kiss Princess Theodora had given him when they sealed their pact - hungry, searching.

And then she pulled back. "My son," she said, not breathlessly but clearly. "You must decide. If you want, I will teach you all that I know of the pleasures men and women can give each other. Or you can keep your innocence and learn these things at another time, with someone else. I will love you regardless. But I must tell you that I have never wanted anything as much as I want this, to be with the one who is the perfect combination of myself and the one I love most in all of time and space. To have this gift would make me extremely happy. Well, boy? What's it going to be? Yes or no?"

A moment later, Negi stammered something that she took for a yes, and their lips crashed together again.

He wore a belt and suspenders. It was probably proof of how cautious and prepared for anything he was. At the moment, though, Arika was only concerned with the belt, gently pulling its loose end out of the loops on the pants so as to undo the buckle. She did this with her left hand. Her right was occupied with pulling the right sleeve of her own sweater back so as to get her elbow out of it, so that she could pull her arm the rest of the way free, then lift it up and over her head. This exposed her breasts, unsupported by a bra, to Negi's eyes for the first time since he'd been weaned.

His mouth watered.

The belt opened, it was trivial for the left hand to then unbutton the button, then unzip the zipper beneath it. She paused, then, to look levelly into her son's eyes. "Negi," she said, using his proper name to address him for the first time in their acquaintance. "I can tell that you are very excited. But I will not have it that you become ... too excited, too quickly. So you must control yourself. Control your reactions. Are you ready to do that?"

Another sound taken for yes, and she leaned forward to press her nipple to his mouth, cradling his head with one hand while the other reached down to caress the strange hardness through his boxers. And abruptly he understood what she had meant. With every bit of willpower that had kept him from crying out from the pain of his injuries on other days, he fought against the reaction he did not fully comprehend, but which he knew would make her unhappy, and so he fought and held and held.

"Good," she said, nudging him over to the other breast as she stopped caressing the front of the boxers, and pulled their elastic back and down, and control, control, control as the fingers of her hand wrapped around that hardness, first tightly, then more loosely, then shifting up and down and up and down.

"My son," his mother said, "you have done well. So when I do what I do next, you may let go. All right?" She pulled back, pulling his mouth away from her breasts, paying no heed to his groan. Not even she could take this sound for yes, but it mattered little at this point, as she bent down and took him in her mouth.

And there was a great unleashing.

She waited until his ejaculations finished, then swallowed, pulled back, licked her lips, cleared her throat, and pulled the elastic of his boxers back up to cover the wilted hardness. Then, and only then, did she look down on his stunned face with a gentle smile, and say, "Well done."

"Th-th-th-," replied Negi.

"You've had the practicum. Now for some theory," Arika continued. "Proper terminology is important. In this, you must be sure not to refer to this -" Again, she gently pressed a finger to the front of his boxers. "- as anything other than a cock. Not a penis, not a manhood, certainly not a hardness. It is a cock."

She stood up from where she had been leaning on the floor, and unhooking the sinches that had kept her borrowed skirt tight around the waist, so that it dropped to the floor around her bare feet. "And this," she said, displaying the nakedness that should have been covered by panties, "must be called a cunt. It is my cunt. It is the cunt from whence you came. It is the cunt into which you will soon come again."

"Ahhhh," said Negi, eyes wider if possible. So like his father, losing language at times like this.

"Don't you mean 'come into'?" Negi, always the teacher, asked softly, even though he didn't understand the difference between the homonyms too well himself, yet.

"In a way," she allowed, pondering whether to cut the lesson short for the night before looking at Negi's recovering erection, as his eyes were fixed on her pubic area. She smiled, flattered. "Oh my. Do you like this old woman's body so much?"

"You... you are very pretty, Mother," he murmured shyly.

Arika considered her next course of action. Optimist as she forced herself to be, she knew it could be years before they found Nagi, if they ever did. She desperately wanted a child she would be able to raise and see grow at last, but she wasn't sure she could get one from Nagi. She knew it was a selfish desire, but she couldn't help it, wanting it more than she wanted anything else. It was a need consuming her core, making it burn out of control. And seeing his innocent, beautiful face, where the first signs of maturity already dawned, was exciting her more than it should. It was mutual, since he had grown to full rigidity, never stopping his gaze at her bare body.

"Thank you," she said once she'd decided what she was going to do. "Your father, unfortunately, wasn't that honest and prone to praise a woman's gifts," she added, crawling on top of him, entrancing him with her faint sweet smell. Her full breasts dangled before his face. "Negi. I think you are, against my earlier expectations, ready for the second practical lesson, namely intercourse."

"Inter-" he tried to place the word, until its meaning dawned on him, and scared him. "Isn't that how babies are made?"

"Yes, it is. However, there are spells and potions to prevent the conception from ever taking place," she said, settling down on his lap, only to find it to be too small and uncomfortable. He was strong enough to support her weight easily, but that didn't mean he made for a good seat. Arika got back up and began rummaging through the room. "Do you keep any age deceiving pills here?"

"Ah ... in the drawer right above Chamo's bed, between the monkey paw and the matchsticks," Negi offered helpfully.

"Thank you very much," she said, bolting over there, pulling out the small bottle of red and blue pills, and then walking back to Negi, grabbing him by the hand, and guiding him over to Satomi's bunk, which made him even more nervous. "How well versed are you in the usage of these?" She held up the bottle for him to see.

"Oh, I used them regularly in Mundus Magicus, to fight in the gladiatorial circuit," he recalled. "Why do you ask?"

"I'd like for you to use one to take on the appearance of, say, a sixteen year-old boy," she said, while filing that statement away for the rather long chat she planned to have with Rakan one of those days.

With another nod, he trusted and obeyed. As soon as his new form stood before her, her heart soared. His body was a nearly perfect lookalike of that man who had won over her heart and given her back the joy of living.

"Thank you. The purpose of this exercise, then, is to permit me to, as your sister might put it if she had enough of a vocabulary, establish some freaking ephebophilia." She took Negi's somewhat larger face between her hands. "Negi, I love you regardless of how you look ... but I admit that I will feel more comfortable as your lover when you are as old as you look now. For at this size, I need neither bend so far nor kneel to do this." She kissed him passionately and forcefully.

To Negi, it felt strange. The tangible illusion in which he was surrounded conveyed the sensation of being touched, but there was a minute but perceptible delay between the stimulus and his awareness of it. The sensation of his mother's lips on his own was different from the way that it felt when he was in his natural form. It wasn't bad, just... different.

So too was the sensation he felt as she reached with one hand to stroke him there. She pulled back, and there was a smile on her face. Looking down, she saw his cock was even longer and thicker than Nagi's, a far cry from its small size in his child body. He would make a girl extremely happy some day. No, he would make one extremely happy that very evening. "Ah. You have grown". He groaned softly as she reached into his boxers and took him in one hand.

"This exercise will involve only fellatio and intercourse," Arika explained. "While in this state you have the size to better develop technique with paizuri, we are engaging in absolute minimal foreplay on this occasion. I am or will be sufficiently lubricated by the time arrives for you to penetrate my cunt." He noted again, as she dropped down to one knee in front of him, the odd dichotomy of her normally precise words and the blunt words she used for the genitalia. But she had taken him into her mouth, and it was hard to think about such matters.

He grew harder as her lips, teeth and tongue moved up and down him, as he ran his fingers through her hair. After only a few moments, he was as hard as before; harder, actually, if the sensations of the disguise were to be trusted. Arika pulled back and rose to her feet, one hand wrapping around his hardness as she started pushing him towards the bunkbeds. That done, she paused, then slowly turned them both around so that she was backing towards the bunkbeds and - gently, ever gently - pulling him with them. She pulled him - still gently - with her as she sat down on the bottom bunk. Their distance between their hips closed, and she firmly guided his hardness -

"Are you thinking of this as a hardness?" she asked abruptly.

"Um," he answered, not wanting to lie.

"What is this?" she asked, squeezing slightly.

"That is... my cock," he answered.

"And this?" she asked, spreading her lower lips.

"That ... is the cunt I came out of," Negi answered.

"Almost correct. It is the cunt you will soon cum into again," Arika answered. And then she pushed, and pulled, and guided, and his cock was in her cunt.

"Do it now. Do it hard. Do it long," she told him.

And he did, pumping back and forth, hands on her sides as he pushed up and into her, as her legs came up and crossed behind his rear to pull him in further. He managed a respectable ten minutes before his breathing changed, telling her that he was fighting off orgasm.

"Do not fight it. Give in to it, give it into me, give me my grandchildren -" his mother told him, working him like a pump with her muscles below.

"Wait, what? gasped Negi.

"Give me your children -" _Pump_.

"But, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to be a father at my age!" Negi protested.

"Nor was I happy about becoming a mother at your age, but we don't -" _Pump_. "- always get -" _Pump_. "- what we want!" _Pump, pump, pump_. "Now cum!"

And he did, and though she had not achieved climax, it was no matter. The pleasure was intellectual, now, as she reached down with her extrasenses to feel the sperm fertilizing her ovae.

There it was! Ah, how beautiful. She smiled broadly at the sensation, at the joy of taking her son and all that was him back into her, and...

Not like that prevented him from misinterpreting her reaction as pain. Alarmed, he shouted, "Mother! What, what happened! Have I hurt you? Are you okay? We could call Konoka-san!"

"Not yet," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am... I am fine, Negi. Better than ever. It was just a... an explosion of happiness within me, after being together in a way that has made us closer than ever."

He blinked. "Oh ... Well. I, I am glad to hear you're pleased. But we should, we should dress up, Chisame must be about to arrive and..." He looked down, blushing deeply. "I'm sure she'd be mad at us."

Looking at his adorably embarrassed and ashamed face, then at the clock on the wall, she responded with a nod. "Let us bathe," she said, disentangling herself from his member and sitting on the bed. Stray tiny droplets of pearly white fell from Negi's softened penis on the sheets, which Arika quickly pulled away for later replacement. Arika made her son stand up with her, moving his hand aside when he tried to cover himself. "Don't ever be ashamed of your beautiful, manly body. Besides, it is pointless after what we have just done, wouldn't you agree?"

He had to relent on that point, and, with the struggle blown out of him, was led into the shower stall without any protests. For once, he didn't fight back when she began cleaning up his body as well as hers. She was far gentler than Chisame ever was at scrubbing him, and somehow, that made him hard again, much to his shame. She smiled, and they copulated again, under the running water. He was, once again, a quick learner, and had no problems adapting himself to a standing position.

Then she cleaned him up again. They finished barely in time before Satomi's return.

* * *

><p>Chisame got back late, with a backpack overstuffed with books she didn't want to read, since they had been handpicked by a proud Haruna. She was so mortified by having those things on her, she waited until it was dark enough to make it home without running into any more classmates. Returning those books to the Library, in daylight hours, was going to be a real bitch.<p>

As expected, she found some dinner for her on the table, the ermine snoring in his drawer with flushed cheeks and alcoholic hiccups, Satomi sleeping peacefully in her bunk, and - in a new development - Arika and Negi, in pajamas, cuddled together on Chisame's own bunk. The girl looked up at them, with a mixture of bewilderment over having HER bed taken away like that and another emotion, a deeper, worse one that hurt her inside. An emotion she couldn't define or even want to acknowledge, so she didn't. She only kept staring, mutely wondering what do do, until Arika opened an eye and made a vague gesture Chisame, not being Asuna, clearly recognized as an invitation to come hither.

Although her mind was too wrecked to recognize the seductive hints in that motion, she still refused it energetically, with a strong shake of her head. She had her pride. So Hasegawa Chisame turned around briskly and walked out of the room. A quick dinner alone later, she settled herself on the couch and tried to sleep.

Arika sighed to herself. Oh well, first steps never were easy. But they would get there, sooner or later. They would have her daughter, and Nagi's daughters, and Nagi himself, and then her fractured family would be complete once again. And would even grow.

With thoughts of her grandchildren and children/grandchildren running through her thoughts, Arika Entheofushia drifted slowly into the sea of dreams.

* * *

><p>"- so, as you see, I shall not be a budget load on you anymore," Arika said, sitting before Negi, Chisame, Chamo and Satomi at the living room. "To gather enough economical resources for my upcoming search for Nagi, I have found a job that meets my requirements and interests."<p>

Negi blinked. "Wow! That's... That's great, Mother. I'm happy you found something that fulfills you..."

"Huh. I must admit I hadn't expected for it to happen so soon," Chisame said, not adding the _Or ever at all_ currently in her mind. "What kind of job could possibly please you, after ruling over an entire country?"

_Wearing a white paper hat and a tight uniform that highlighted her assets just enough, Arika smiled at the small boy and girl duo before her. "Thank you for buying at the Mahora Mc Ronald's. Would you prefer a Pretty Pretty Pegasus or a Transformer with your 'Happy Meal'?"_

Arika paused for a moment before answering, "I am currently an Department Attendant for the Proper Feeding of the Mahora Youth. But by month's end, I expect for a raise to Sub-Gerent..."

* * *

><p>"Hello," Evangeline said dryly. "I want a Happy Meal with a Pretty Pretty Pegasus toy. Preferably Golden Mane, although if you have a Sweet Caramel one, that'll do too. No Lovely Lindas, though. I already have three. Every damn time I eat here, I get a Lovely Linda, and-"<p>

She lifted her gaze, only to find herself staring into Arika's eyes.

Arika was wearing a paper hat and a Mc Ronald's uniform.

"Neither of us will ever mention this, between ourselves or before others," Evangeline said. "Can we agree on that, at the very least?"

"Naturally," Arika nodded, handing the tiny vampire her order. "But we're out of any toys save Lovely Lindas..."

"CURSE YOU, ARIKA ENTHEOFUSHIA!"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	2. Lesson One

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson One<strong>.

* * *

><p>The sun was bright but not unbearably hot. The wind was steady but not too strong. And the motion of the ocean - well, the river - was gentle, and the great bulk of the <em>Queen Beryl<em> cruiser was more than enough to absorb most of it. All in all, it had been a beautiful day. Well, Mai thought so at least.

Tokiha Mai was a fairly ordinary young lady, if a little conspicuous at times. She was not particularly tall and her face was plain, if a little rounded from all the grinning and frowning and that odd little expression she used an awful lot around certain people, that made her look like a mischievous schoolgirl. Her hair was a blazing orange mess, thick and bushy, all muddled spikes that folded down from the top of her head to either side and then ended in a jumbled mass around the back and sides.

Her eyes were fiery orange like her hair, passionate and intense to say the very least, and they focused on things at times with almost burning concentration. They were expressive eyes, and they were offset neatly by her petite, pointed nose. Her lips were full but still rather narrow, especially for a young girl in her early twenties. They were rarely adorned with anything at all, though there was a special shade of hot-pink lipstick reserved for "special occasions." They pouted adorably at just the right times, and one might guess she had had plenty of practice using them.

Her body was certainly not stereotypically Japanese. Her hips were broad, her waist narrow and her chest, some might say, over-abundant. She had been well enough endowed as a young girl in her late highschool days, but once she hit sixteen her chest had finally crossed the border from 'tempting' to 'voluptuous', as had the rest of her figure. It might be a pain at times keeping it all perfectly in line, but the effects it had on men and women alike, from jealousy to desire to willing submission, were more than worth the effort. It had certainly made acquiring her latest part-time job that much easier.

"You're okay?" she asked her younger brother a bit anxiously, holding a can of Soder Cola in each hand as she came over to sit down beside him on one of the deck's benches, facing the ship's starboard railing. (She was pretty sure that it was the starboard. Reasonably sure. Okay, she wasn't sure at all and was just guessing.) A few benches away, looking at the waters in a contemplative silence, sat a certain person named Negi Springfield, who, unbeknownst to both of them back then, would be rather important for her life in the near future.

"I'm fine," he assured her, a bit wearily. "I was a little queasy when the ship got underway, but it's passed." Takumi favored her with one of his increasingly rare smiles. "And I'm glad, because I wouldn't miss this for the world."

She shook her head, but smiled back. "We'd see the exact same view on the train, you know."

"It's not the same view," he disagreed, accepting his can and opening it. "The angle is different, the sun lights things in a completely different way... and the train moves so much faster than this ship is going. I get a whole 'nother look at the landscape this way." His eyes were distant as he spoke. From experience, she knew that he was seeing the painting, not its subject.

But then his eyes focused again, meeting her gaze, and he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Besides which, Uncle doesn't do things like this very often. We ought to enjoy it as much as possible, don't you think?"

Mai made a sound of polite agreement. Inwardly, though, she was frustrated by Takumi's lowered expectations. Most people, on hearing that an uncle had offered to send his nephew and niece on a cruise to celebrate their admission to a prestigious private school like Mahora, would probably have viewed it in the same way that Takumi did - as an incredibly generous act.

Mai... didn't. The word she would have used was 'extravagant'. Or maybe 'unnecessary'. As she'd said, they could have taken the train like normal people did. It would have been less expensive for their uncle to do it that way.

That wasn't her real objection, though. If she'd believed that her uncle was really trying to be generous, she'd have swallowed that sort of complaint. But deep down, she knew that the fancy cruise was another way for him to seem involved while doing his level best to stay out of the lives of his late brother's children.

The money that he would have saved by buying three train tickets instead of two cruises couldn't possibly have been equal to or greater than the amount that he'd lose by taking a day or so off work to be with them. But Mai understood perfectly well where they fit in the calculus of their uncle's life.

She let Takumi see her smiling, though. None of this was on her face. He was happy, and that was what mattered. She'd do anything to make sure that her little brother was happy.

"And there it is," he said, hushed. "The World Tree."

She turned to look where he was looking, and, despite herself, felt a bit of awe as the size of the enormous tree became clear, with buildings that had to be several stories tall dwarfed by it. And they were still some distance from Mahora. They wouldn't pull into port until tomorrow morning.

"They say it's visible from space," Takumi added in that same vaguely reverent tone.

_That's probably pushing it_, Mai thought, trying to look disinterested enough to look away, ignoring the overdressed Britannian child with a long wooden stick on his back, who had hastened to approach that part of the deck, where the view of the tree was better. Stupid and cruel Britannians, even left their own children to wander alone around the world.

But then something caught his eye to the sky above the tree.

But then something else drew her attention to the sky above the tree.

And there It was. The smile that she'd painted on at Takumi's enthusiasm melted away as she looked up at the strange red planet; painted in a strong hue no one could see but her. It was getting brighter.

With her late parents, she had often watched the nocturnal skies, back when Takumi was only a small child, a toddler. They would teach her of the planets and stars, and while that never bloomed into a love for astronomy, she nonetheless could easily recognize Mars at first sight.

What she didn't use to recognize was the intense aura of bright red surrounding Mars right now. Despite the popular idea of Mars as the 'Red Planet', it had never before looked that way, like an eye of blood staring down, to her.

Mai wasn't sure when she'd started seeing it that way. She'd taken the fact that nobody talked about that transformation to mean that it wasn't all that important, and only found out that she was the only one to see it a few months ago, when it first started to look so bright. Commenting on that change to Takumi had yielded a confused look on his face and the question "What are you talking about, Oneechan?"

His confusion had quickly turned to concern, and that concern was back on his face. "You're still seeing it, aren't you?"

"Mm-hm," she admitted, then quickly segued into an attempt to calm his worries. "It's no big deal. It's just there, you know? It's not like I'm hearing voices -"

_You have to look after your little brother from now on_.

"- more than I usually do," she added in a fit of honesty.

He still looked a bit upset, but didn't press the matter as he looked away, turning his gaze on the river. He blinked. "Oneechan," he asked hesitantly, pointing as he did. "Do you see that, too?"

She followed his pointing finger, and peered out at the river. What was he- wait, was that- could it be-

Mai got to her feet. For all that she knew, this was every bit as much of a cliché as shouting 'Stop the presses!' in a newspaper office, and likely to be as well-received, but nonetheless - "Man overboard!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, startling everyone on the deck, including the Britannian child and the tall, handsome man who now stood with him.

* * *

><p>The first thing she remembered was her Ani-ue's gentle face, smiling at her. Actually, once the smile and his black hair remained clearly visible in her memory, along the warm smells of the hillside. She didn't remember any particular words he ever might have told her, but she could remember his attitude towards her always was loving and kind.<p>

_"She's still alive! Oh my God, it's a miracle!"_

A miracle? What was a miracle, again? Grandfather had mentioned something about her Ani-ue performing, whatever that meant, miracles if she ever found him. It had to be a good thing, so if that people she couldn't see right now was saying there was a miracle, maybe she had found her Ani-ue already? Oh! What if that young man talking was her Ani-ue?

No, although she didn't remember his voice too well, it sure wasn't that nasal and high pitched.

_"Why won't she let go off this damn thing?!"_

Her small, thin but callous fingers tightened stubbornly around Miroku's handle. She wasn't fully conscious yet, but she worked on enough of conditioned level to refuse letting go off her treasure and fighting the efforts of those much bigger hands attempting to pry it away. Had she retained only a little more awareness, she would have leapt up to slice and dice them, most likely staining Rin's nice sweater and Negi's fine suit, and that would have been terrible.

It was a precious family heirloom, after all, and Grandfather, before falling asleep forever, had stressed she couldn't and shouldn't ever losing it before finding Ani-ue. She had to protect Ani-ue with it now she had finally mastered it. She even could open pickle jars with it now! Pickle jars, as anyone knows, being the ultimate tests of power and might for any warrior.

_In the Arctic Fortress of Solitude, a crestfallen Superman stared at the nicely lined jars of pickles arranged before him, ranging from his days at Smallville until the one he had just bought that morning, and tightened a fist impotently. There was a picture of a smiling Batman holding two open jars of pickles hanging right above his collection._

_Someday, Bruce, someday...__  
><em>  
>She felt so weak right now, though. Weaker than she had felt for a long, long, long time. She was cold and trembling, and for once, Miroku felt very heavy in her grasp, just as heavy as it should be feeling for the men trying to steal it away and commenting on how many tons it weighed. Mostly, she felt sleepy, so very sleepy, and like she was collapsing in the inside...<p>

For a moment, she thought she saw a very nice looking and pretty young pale girl in black with a funny symbol hanging from her neck floating over her. After that moment, the strange girl hummed, shook her head, and gently waved a finger at her before her cellphone rang and she vanished away, muttering something about some Thanos stalking her so much.

"Oh, for the love of God! It's only giving necessary CPR to a dying girl! What kind of men are you?!" a female was shouting.

"B-But we are no Lolicon!" one of the men was protesting.

"What's Lolicon?" a little boy asked.

"That's not important right now, Negi-sensei!" an older sounding man answered.

"Screw it! I'll do it myself!" the girl growled.

"But, are you...?"

"I'm an expert on First Aids and Emergency Drills, trained at the best camps for wilderness survival in Europe! N-Not like I have ever kissed many, I mean any, girls before, but, but whatever! I'm doing this only because I'm a nice civic minded person!"

_What a chatty loud girl_, Mikoto thought, inwardly musing on how much Grandfather would have disapproved of her. Grandfather valued discipline, feminity, modesty and silent obedience in any girl, as he had yelled and yelled to her that evening before falling on his back gasping for air and eventually falling asleep forever. Looking back at it, _maybe_ it had been a bad idea to run around in her underwear hunting and eating birds during his 78th birthday gala.

Then Mikoto had a pair of lips pressed down on hers. Well. That one was new. As were the lips injecting new life into her, pumping her back from the tunnel of radiant light with only minor brain damage no one would ever really notice anyway. It was like a down slide in an aquatic park, and just like when she had been in those, now, too, she also felt slightly nauseous now...

Right when Tohsaka Rin thought she had done it, that she had saved that hapless soul's life much to everyone's amazement over how incredible she was, she got the kind of confirmation she had not really wanted, when the drowning girl vomited copious amounts of salt water, seaweeds, a pink starfish in tiny shorts, and assorted stomach contents on her face.

Everyone else was too stunned to hear Kaleido Ruby's hysterical laughter coming from Rin's hand luggage, but Rin did hear. And even in the shameful heat of that moment, she swore terrible vengeance!

* * *

><p>Over the months since their arrival to Mahora, Tokiha Takumi's health had improved greatly. He was able to move in with a new roommate, a dry but dutiful and helpful boy named Okuzaki Akira. Mai had been terribly scared for him for the first few weeks, calling him and checking on him almost constantly, but eventually, she calmed down and decided it was okay to let him forge his own path now. He stopped coughing and having fainting spells, and his endurance improved to the point where Doctor Ono, his local physician, allowed him to do PE again.<p>

Things had looked very good until a couple weeks ago, when Takumi's Mc Gregor's Syndrome had returned, abruptly and brutally, and his white cell count dropped down to alarming levels in less than a week. His skin lost pigmentation once again, and large spots began appearing all over it. His lungs started failing as well, and so did his bladder. Before that week was over, he was admitted to the Mahora Hospital. He had been there ever since.

And that was where she would head that morning, before hitting classes. She had, thusly, gotten up earlier than her roommate, Minagi Mikoto, the girl Mai helped fishing out the water the day of her arrival, who had a behavior and even appearance certainly erratic but still lovable. Living with Mikoto was like looking after a small child and a big feral feline at once; even though Mikoto was truly affectionate and loyal to a fault, and it couldn't be denied she was very cute as well, she couldn't have looked after herself in a civilized way (though Mai suspected she would have been perfectly apt and functional surviving by herself in the woods), and her habit of always carrying around that gigantic black sword would have earned her an expulsion from any other. Luckily, or not, in Mahora, carrying heavy equipment for duels seemed to be perfectly okay as long as Kiryuuin-sama and her Student Council gave a written and sealed approval of it first. How Mikoto got her own permission, Mai suspected she never would know.

After cooking Mikoto's breakfast, waking her up, bathing her and dressing her up (left to her own devices, Mikoto refused to wear socks, shoes or underwear), Mai left Mikoto chewing sleepily on her morning meal, making her promise she wouldn't skip classes that day. Then Mai ran out the front door as fast as she could.

It was still too early for most Mahora students. The only one Mai regularly ran into at those hours was that likable newspaper girl with the mismatched eyes, but they both always were busy, so they'd only traded a few words every then and now. That girl, named Asuna, now knew Mai had a kid brother at the hospital, but Mai knew nothing about her, other than the fact she was in one of Negi-sensei's classes.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning, Sempai!"

That was all they said to each other that morning, as their paths crossed briefly once again. Then they forgot all about each other for the moment, both being too concerned with their respective predicaments.

And, in Asuna's case, too busy to actually notice a blond shadow with eyes like her own discreetly following her, with the stealthy expertise of a predatory panther.

And, in Mai's case, too busy to notice a strange, tiny white animal sitting on top of perches every two blocks or so, watching at her in intent mutism, waving a very long tail, and occasionally its long ears as well.

What Mai did notice as she ran, however, was Mars still looked red and huge in the sky, even when the first rays of dawn began making their way down. It was very unnerving and even sinister, but it still was another thing that didn't matter now.

All that mattered was Takumi.

The unnoticed small creature watched her entering the hospital, regarded the building for several moments with a curiously circumspect air, and then turned around and hopped down the street.

It had work to do, but the first step of any good work is good planning.

* * *

><p>Takumi had a hospital room all to himself, perhaps due to their uncle's unexpected largesse, but mostly, no doubt, as a result of his critical condition. It was such a nice, pleasant and quiet room taken on its own, Mai found herself wishing Takumi could get a place like it once he was healthy. But of course, those were pipe dreams. What actually mattered was for him to get better, but looking at him now, wasting away in his bed, pale and thin, with bags under his eyes and numerous syringe marks on his arms, connected to a liquid feed, that looked like a hopeless dream buried under the nightmare that was his mysterious illness.<p>

"I slept far better last night, actually," he reassured her, his smaller hand on hers, his smile wavering but trying. "You?"

"Oh, not that well. You know Akane, that party animal." They laughed as best they could at the joke. Then she pulled a notebook out from her bag. "Ah, Akira-kun asked me to give you this. He'll come after classes, but since you told him you wanted to see it as soon as you could -"

"But I didn't mean this way. How will he -"

"I'm sure he has another notebook or two, silly!" She carefully ruffled his dark red hair, like she had done since their earliest childhood. "He ... he's a very good kid. Could be more talkative, but ..."

"Ah, yeah. He was raised in a very traditional home." He coughed briefly, but quickly gestured for Mai to stay in her chair. He swallowed the mouthful of blood in his hand before she could notice it, and added, "Oneechan. If ... in the event anything ever happens to me, tell ... tell Akira I'm sorry."

"What? Why should you be sorry?"

He looked aside. "Nothing. Nothing too important, I guess. Although I suppose it meant a lot for him. Just tell him I'm sorry I couldn't ever truly understand him. He'll know what I mean."

"Tell him yourself. He'll be here this afternoon, and, anyway, nothing's going to happen to you! Wrap your mind around that, okay?"

"I'll try," he promised blandly.

"No tries. You had been doing fine until now. This ... this is only a momentary setback! Maybe, maybe you just went too fast with your recovery ... yeah, that's it, you'll take it slower next time, and then your body will recover for good."

"I guess so," he relented. "Still, even if I lived a hundred years... I don't think I could apologize to Akira enough."

"Why are you saying that? What could you have done to that boy?"

"It's not so much what I did, but what I didn't. Akira is a great person, but I fear for his happiness. Just like I fear for yours, Oneechan."

"As long as you're happy, I will be too. You're all I need."

He finally looked back at her face, with wet eyes. "And you're all I need too, Oneechan. I ... I want you to know that, no, more than that, I want you to always remember that, but at the same time ... I hope that never ties you to me, to prevent you from being happy once I -"

"Takumi!"

"Oneechan, please! Even if I recover from this, we both know you'll outlive me!"

"We can't know that! Maybe a truck will run me over and-" She let the sentence unfinished when she realized it was a horrible attempt at levity, and she only had soured him more rather than lifting his spirits. "Takumi, please, all the doctors have said you need to keep a good state of mind."

"As they say, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, Oneechan," he lamented, shaking his head. "I have tried, God knows I have tried, so hard, until it, too, hurt. I tried it all just for you, because you're the only thing that's left for me, my only reason, but ... Oneechan, I'm so very tired. I am in so much pain, I want for it to end already, no matter how!" He crumbled crying into her arms, making her suffer from severe knots in her throat and stomach. Supporting her chin on his scalp, she cried as well. "I know it's selfish, I know it isn't what you want, but I can't endure it anymore! And it isn't fair to you either, making you waste your life looking after me, and ... just let me go, Oneechan, please!"

"Oh, Takumi, my baby, I'll never do that," she rocked him gently, back and forth, in her arms. "Don't, don't say such silly things. What would I ever do without you? How could I live with myself knowing I let you go? I know you're stronger than you think, all you need is to -"

"I love you," he sobbed, keeping his head under her breasts.

"I love you too, Takumi, I love you so very much -"

"No! That isn't what I mean!" he said. "I love you in a different way! Ever since, ever since a couple years back, as I realized you were, not only the best sister, but -"

"Takumi?" she asked. She was too struck by the sudden revelation to even actually understand it yet.

After swallowing a huge knot, he forced himself to say, "I think, no, I'm sure, somehow, this is how a man loves a woman. I know I'm still thirteen, but I know I won't ever feel this way for anyone else! And I didn't want to tell you, but I wanted you, needed you to know, because, because I know now you'll hate me, but maybe that's for the best, because you'll know, you'll know I'm not worth your ... your ..." The next word came smaller and quieter than ever. "... love."

For several moments, Mai just sat there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, in complete silence, looking down at him, watching him cry. Then she hugged him once again, and whispered, "I still love you. You're confused, that's all, you'll grow up, and realize what's true love, and, and you'll meet a much nicer girl than me, and you'll be happy together, and ... and ... and you'll visit me with your kids, and we'll laugh ... we'll laugh at what we discussed today ... It's so ... so dumb ... like in a melodrama ..."

His anguished sobs made her realize, with great pain, she had said the wrong thing once more. Why did she always say the wrong thing? Why was there only one thing she could ever say without screwing things up?

So she repeated that thing yet again.

"I love you." She kissed his forehead. Then, after a moment of doubt, for his sake and nothing else, no sir, to give him something to live, to at least feed his delusions until he was strong enough to live without them, she mentally prayed for her parents' forgiveness, and landed a warm, not deep, but firm and unmistakable, kiss on his lips.

That was when the room's door opened, and she pulled away immediately, leaving Takumi too shocked to do anything but sputter in confusion.

The young but tall doctor with glasses and brown hair standing at the doorstep was no less confused and startled. "Oh my ... I mean ... um ... Tokiha-san ..."

"G-Good morning, Ono-sensei!" the girl giggled shakily, turning her head towards him as if nothing had happened. "Ah, you look great today, I was just cleaning something in Takumi's eye, since he was -"

"Ahh, sure, of course," the medic nodded rigidly. "Tokiha-san, could I talk to you privately for a moment, p-p-please?"

Mai had that feeling of being stabbed in the stomach she often had when someone was about to give her devastating news.

* * *

><p>After a long, rational, sensible exposition on the special conditions of Takumi's current state, and how there still were hopes for it, even if he was too weak to even consider a transplant without having his vitals collapsing, Mai decided she'd had enough and dryly asked the sole other human being with her in the office, "How long's he got?"<p>

"As I told you," Ono Tofu still tried to sound gentle and hopeful despite everything, "there's no way to know for sure. Medicine is making advances every moment, and while we might have reached a point where we can't do more for you, that doesn't mean there aren't many specialists across Japan who still might help you. We aren't the ultimate medical authorities in the country."

"We have visited those, too," Mai said, wiping the corners of her eyes with a tissue. She had to be strong. She wouldn't crumble down crying before the doctor. All she had to do was endure until she could walk out.

"I'll recommend you to a friend of mine in Tomobiki," the doctor told her. "Not to mention, I have a colleague in America, Doctor Connors, who has recently told me he's on the verge of a historical breakthrough on the regenerative capacities of the human body. It might be ready as soon as -"

"How long does Takumi have left, according to your calculations, Sensei?" Mai repeated herself, struggling fiercely against the tears.

He knew it made no sense to try to soften the blow anymore. "Two weeks at worst, three months at best. Our average amounts to one month and a half, but -"

"I see," she said, applying the tissue to her eyes with greater force. "Thank you for being honest with me. Most doctors aren't."

"Tokiha-san, please, don't quit now, not after you've gone so far, after all Takumi-kun has fought to live."

"But you can't do anything else for him, can you?"

The man lowered his gaze. It never was easy. No matter how many times he broke those news, they never felt natural at all to tell. Children shouldn't die. Maybe his mother had been right and he shouldn't have become a doctor. Or if he had, he at least would better have stayed at his small clinic in the suburbs. "I'm afraid we can't," he had to admit.

"Perhaps... maybe it'd be better, then, if I took him home, wouldn't it?" she half-sobbed, more than she cared to admit to herself. "At least that way, he'll be in a warmer... no, not that I'm speaking ill of your hospital, it's just..."

"I know," he said, regarding her tearful face for a moment, then recalling what he had seen in the patient's room. "Tokiha-san, I hate to bring this up now of all times, but before even thinking of writing any release pass, I have to know -"

"I was cleaning something, something in his eyes, and then, and then I kissed his nose!" she protested. "That's all I did! Did you think you saw anything else?!"

The man remained still on his chair, seeing her break down in tears, cursing himself.

"Takumi is happy with me! And I'm only happy with him! We, he has the right to spend his last days where he'll feel the best! I swear to God I'll kill myself if I don't even get to tell him goodbye!"

He placed a strong but gentle hand on her shoulder. "Cry all you want, but please don't cry over any decision of mine. I trust you. I can feel how much you truly love him. It's okay. I know he won't be better anywhere than at your side."

She couldn't talk coherently anymore, just sob into her hands, which cupped her face tightly. Her elbows dug onto the desk.

The Doctor made his decision. He had seen the young woman's devotion, he had witnessed far too many things now to be deterred by the vision of a single moment. Maybe, after all, he had seen things incorrectly from his angle. And even if he hadn't, maybe their faces had just made the wrong moves at the wrong time. It happened at times. And even if not, there were worse things than a short peck on the lips. It wasn't completely unheard for some mothers to give small chaste kisses on their babies' mouths, and that girl was practically her brother's mother.

Ono Tofu had never been hugged, much less kissed, too much by his own mother, so he didn't have a lot of expertise on that particular subject. But he still recognized true love when he saw it. And as one Tendo Kimiko had once told him, when love was requited and honest, it always brought comfort and never pain.

Never.

As he pulled out a release order from his desk's drawers, he looked at the crying girl and pitied her in silence.

Over the girl's shoulder, he could also see, hanging next to his door, his old skeleton, his fondly regarded good luck charm, hanging on display. He had owned it since his days in the University, then in his Nerima clinic, and now there. He knew well what it stood for in the minds of nearly all human beings.

And yet, before today, it had never looked to him like a grim reminder of death.

* * *

><p>The small white creature sat on a rooftop watching Mai leaving the Hospital, tearfully holding a folder against her chest. Its shiny eyes, devoid of any emotion, watched her go, briefly bumping into a tall boy around her age, with bleached down hair and thick sideburns, wearing a Mahora High uniform.<p>

She blurted out a quick apology to the bewildered boy, trying her best not to look at his face, and then ran away just as quickly. "I'm in a hurry, sorry!"

The petite animal tilted its head to one side, looking back and forth between the retreating girl and the boy, who just stood there cluelessly before storming off as well, in the opposite direction.

Then it spoke, although 'speaking' might be an inaccurate term. Rather, its voice, one that sounded either feminine or very childish, rang without actual sound in the mind of the girl who had just appeared behind him.

_Shouldn't you be in classes? You'll get in trouble again. That would be highly inconvenient for your objectives._

"Let me decide what's the best for my own interests," the girl told it as coldly as they come, the breeze caressing her long, silky and dark hair. "Why are you targeting that girl?"

_She has a burning dream, a passion that longs for fulfillment,_ the creature's thoughts echoed in the girl's head, making her wince more in anger than anything else. _You could say I target her, but actually, even if she doesn't realize it, she's the one searching, in her dreams, for something like me. That's the mark of someone destined to be a Magical Princess. That, and she can see the signs._ Its head tilted up, where the crimson Mars was clearly visible to both it and the girl. _Regardless, as long as it isn't Madoka-san, you don't care, do you?_

"No. No, I don't."

_Then, may I ask why are you here?_

The girl answered by pulling a slick, black handgun out and shooting the small animal in the head, from behind.

_What have I ever done to you, Akemi Homura-san?_ it asked, lying there in a quickly expanding pool of its own blood, as the girl turned around to leave. _I'm only an instrument of your own desires, needs and inner magic. By hurting me, aren't you only sublimating your own desires to hurt yourselves? That is not a very nice thing._

"You don't even know the meaning of nice, Incubator," the girl said before leaping off the rooftop.

The mortally wounded animal sighed to itself, waiting for its newest regenerated body to spawn. Truly, this was a regrettable waste of its resources.

But at the very least, it supposed, she was nicer than Natsuki-san.

* * *

><p>"Tokiha-san!" Minamoto Shizuna said, stopping writing her latest report as the tearful young woman entered her office. "Shouldn't you be at classes by now?"<p>

Shizuna was used to students and even teachers coming to her for advice. Technically, Arai Chie was the school councilor, but people tended to find her inattentive and, frankly, of questionable help at best. So they usually just headed to Shizuna's office instead, and had Shizuna had an actual social life of her own, or had Arai cared about not having to do her own work, there might have been problems. The way things were, however, things tended to work out in the end.

Usually.

The girl pulled a chair back, let herself drop into it, and said, sniffling her tears away, "I took the day off. Minamoto-sensei, I... I need some serious advice on... on..."

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, several campus blocks away, a devastated Higurashi Akane, an affable but meek girl of Mai's age, but considerably lesser physical development, kept on staring at her cellphone, and the short text message Mai had sent her before heading into Minamoto's office. She took a sharp bite of her lower lip and struggled to control her tears. Although she had only known Mai for a short time, she had bonded with her more than with anyone else before, which admittedly wasn't an extremely difficult achievement for Mai. Accepting and warm as Akane was, she had always been too shy to get close to others, and her family life... well...<p>

The dark haired girl with glasses sitting at her left craned her neck to give her a not-terribly discreet gaze and ask, in a low voice, "It's Mai-chan, isn't she?"

Quickly, Akane closed the cellphone and nodded. "Ah... ah-hah. She, she won't be coming today after all. I'd better tell Sakomizu-sensei."

"Your attention, please, Higurashi-kun, Harada-kun, everyone," their portly, unkempt looking teacher, an odd figure with a voluminous dark brown hairstyle, tapped twice on the blackboard to call for their attention. "I was telling you, as part of Mahora's recent expansion program, aimed at giving all genders and social groups equal opportunities, not to mention to make up for the sectors destroyed during the summer incident, we'll be taking a new student into our class, starting today. I want you all to welcome Tate Yuuichi-kun."

The tall man with the hair of a delinquent and the noticeable scar in a hand stepped ahead awkwardly. "Um, good morning, everyone. I hope to get along great with all of you. My hobby used to be kendo, but I'm looking for something new, since I'm not practicing it anymore."

Akane ignored the just as awkward introduction (Kazuya-kun was far more handsome and classier than that guy, anyway) as she couldn't stop thinking about Mai-chan and her poor little brother. If only she could do something, anything, for them.

Casually, she caught an accidental glimpse through the nearest window. Sure enough, there it was, in the sky, the red Mars. There was that, too, although she doubted it mattered much in the great scheme of things. She would start worrying about her own sanity when she heard Negi-sensei's ermine talking while rummaging through her underwear, like poor Yayoi-chan at the bottom of the class.

* * *

><p>Tokiha looked slightly more relieved as she left the busty blonde's office. "Thank you so very much, Minamoto-sensei. I'm sorry to take so much time away from you."<p>

"It's no bother, Tokiha-san. Come back whenever you need anything else. I'm just sorry I couldn't do anything else for you."

"Don't worry, you already have... Oh, s-sorry!" she almost had bumped into a very beautiful woman with mismatched eyes and long blond hair, wearing a fitting white dress. "I was on my way out!" she excused herself. If the woman was part of the staff, last thing Mai wanted now was to get Shizuna in trouble with her. "Excuse me!" she bowed and hurried away.

Arika kept looking at her, with interest. "A good, hard working and honest young woman, but overcome by a great grief. Most youngsters crack under that type of pressure."

"Ah, Arika-sama!" the teacher said. "Do you know Tokiha-san?"

The other woman shook her head as she closed the door behind herself. "I deduced it from her behavior, red eyes, and her being here during classes. If she has indeed taken too long from your agenda, I always can return another day, but I would be deeply thankful if you could assist me with a problem of my own today."

Shizuna sighed inwardly, but outside, just smiled pleasantly and set her report aside. "Of course, I'd love to. How is your reunion with Negi-sensei going?"

"Oh, excellently. I have no complains at all there. We are far closer than I had dared to expect, as a matter of fact. He is very accepting of me, and he has given me a most wonderful gift. He is loving and tender, and I couldn't ask for a better son."

Shizuna nodded. "I figured he would pose no problems. He's a wonderful young man. You have every right to be proud of him. But then, what's troubling you?"

"My other child. Or rather, how to approach her with the revelation I am her mother. I have gathered she is far more... temperamental and volatile than Negi is."

Shizuna blinked. "Your other child!?" she asked.

She saw Arika's back stiffen. No doubt she had picked up on the rather extreme nature of her reaction. "Perhaps I misspoke," the visiting woman said quickly, looking aside.

The polite thing to do would have been to let that blatant lie stand and move on. But there were more important things that polite behavior. "I don't think you did, ma'am," Shizuna said slowly, regaining her pose. "I apologize. I would be happy to be of some further help to you, if I could, but..." She trailed off, leaving the words _I can't help you if you won't let me_ unspoken.

Arika turned slightly, as if studying Shizuna from the corner of her eye. Whatever she was looking for, she seemed to find it, for she spoke. "You are correct. I did not misspeak. I apologize for the lie, but... well. When I saw her, among my rescuers, I was stunned. I had not dared to hope that she would survive, when so many of us did not, and yet there she was... and yet she knows nothing of our relationship. And I am not sure what, if anything, I should tell her."

"Asuna," Shizuna guessed. She supposed that it should be obvious, given the similarities, but she knew so little about the world of magic that she couldn't guess whether heterochromia was more or less common there.

"Yes. She is my daughter, born... before I gave birth to Negi." Now she fully turned back to face Shizuna. "Would you give me your counsel?" she asked.

Shizuna nodded. "You should be honest with both of them," she said. "If they ask- _when_ they ask- tell them the truth. They already act like a brother and sister, and I think the fact will make them happy. And I'm fairly sure that Asuna wants a family, desperately. Any orphan, or person who thought they were an orphan, would."

Arika looked away, through the window. "Sometimes wanting something is better than the having of it," she mused quietly. "But you offer wisdom freely and bravely, and so I shall heed your counsel. I thank you, Minamoto Shizuna."

* * *

><p>Somehow, they got the entire special paperwork ready in time to move Takumi's scarce belongings into Mai and Mikoto's dorm by the next evening. They even had a small welcome party, with Harada Chie, Senoh Aoi, and Takumi's roommate Akira attending. Mai had told her brother he'd just be staying there until he was well enough to move away again, but Akane could tell from his expression that he wasn't buying it, despite his best attempts to look the part. Regardless, they had as good a time as they could, under the present circumstances.<p>

Mikoto, always careless and ignorant about the truth, stuffed herself with cake until she fell asleep on the table. After Mai tucked Takumi into his new bed, and Akane did the same for Mikoto, Mai walked outside to look at the sky. Eventually, Akane walked out after her.

"Oh, hey, Akane-chan. I thought you had gone with Chie and Aoi? If the Dorm Supervisor catches you out at this time, she'll go postal on you," Mai warned. "Remember what she did to Shirai Kuroko-san?"

"Who?" Akane, who never had been disciplined by anyone out of her house due to her law-abiding nature, blinked. "Oh, I know. The girl in the Discipline Committee. I, I'll go soon, Mai-san. I only… I only wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I know you need some time to be alone, so..." the shorter girl apologized, and began to walk away.

"Akane-chan, no, wait," Mai said all of a sudden.

So Akane stopped. "Yes?"

"I know this might sound totally crazy, but, haven't you noticed something... weird about Mars lately?"

Higurashi made a mild pause before saying. "Oh ... so Mai-san can see it too? I, I mean, the red color, the slight aura around it? Thank God, I thought I was the only one!"

"So you see it too!" Mai looked at her face, and Akane nodded. It was odd to be talking about this right now, but anything that distracted Mai for a while, no matter how brief of a while, couldn't be all that bad. "What do you think it might be?"

"I don't know. I don't think a lot about it. I know Kazuya-kun can't see it, but I've been afraid of asking anyone else."

"Including me?"

"Mai-san, you already had too much on your mind. I didn't want to bother you with something so... banal."

The bustier female nodded slowly. "Of course. Thank you, Akane-chan." She stretched her arms above her head. "Well, who cares, anyway? It's probably nothing. The news would be going mad about it if it truly mattered at all. I think I'll blame air pollution."

"Sounds reasonable," Akane mused as she began walking away down the sidewalk. "I think I'll go sleep early. Good night, Mai-san."

"Good night, Akane-chan. And again, thanks for helping with the party."

Once she returned inside and the lights were off, the small pair of shiny eyes sparkled again, between the branches of the closest tree to the building.

_The Night is coming_.

* * *

><p>The next morning was relatively uneventful and quiet, other than Mai's unrest over leaving Takumi home alone, even if he still hadn't yet reached a point where he could die at any given moment, and despite him being just a cellphone call away from having her at his side immediately. She would have felt marginally better if she had been aware that Akira-kun was, as a matter of fact, right next to his window the whole time, concealed from most passers-by in ninja cloaking. (Not all shinobi from Akira's village were as pointlessly loud as that Uzumaki idiot, after all. Some of them actually were good at the whole 'stealth' part of being ninja.) But alas.<p>

She had seen the new boy, of course, but had barely paid him any attention. She guessed he was kind of cute in his own way, although nowhere nearly as much as School Council Director of Liaisons Kanzaki. But then again, none of that really mattered now. There had been a time, shortly after entering Mahora, during Takumi's miracle recovery, when Mai set her sights on Kanzaki Reito, that affable and elegant young man from a mysterious aristocratic family. She had even tried to apply for an assistant job with the Council, only to be bluntly rejected by Suzushiro Haruka, from the Discipline Committee.

Looking back at it now, Mai guessed it had been for the best. Not only she wouldn't have any time for any jobs now (she had taken a free week at the Maid Cafe, and she was seriously thinking of quitting altogether), but the rumors said Kanzaki-sempai and Council Vice President Fujino Shizuru were an item. There was no way Mai could ever compete with the beloved daughter of one of Kyoto's most influential families.

"He was checking you out, you know," Harada told her as they walked out of classes along with Senoh Aoi, chuckling under her breath.

"Ah? Who do you mean?" Mai snapped out of her concerned daze to look at her.

"The new guy!" Chie told her. "Don't tell me you hadn't noticed it! He was so blatant, he was quite pitiful," she said while spinning a finger in circles, pointing in the general direction of Mai's breasts. "Then again, I understand he comes from an all boys' school, so you really can't blame him for being -"

Mai tossed her hands up. "I get it! Geez, no wonder they say ignorance is bliss. That's something I really didn't need to know."

"How's Takumi-kun doing?" asked the long haired, fair skinned Aoi, with a vivacious interest Mai didn't really like. That tone Aoi always used when talking about, or worse, to Takumi wasn't one of a girl who simply happened to find younger boys cute. It was bonafide Class 2-A Tone. "Did he sleep well through his first night with you?"

"His first night with me _here_," Mai corrected, then shrugged. "Yeah, he slept well. You know him. He... he never causes any problems."

They split near the statue of Academy founder Himeno Fumi to take their separate ways. Akane had gone her own way even sooner, heading for the Maid Cafe, and mostly, to Kazuya-san. Mai was happy for her, at the very least. She could tell Kazuya-san was a decent, honest boy. In a way, he was much like an older...

... Takumi...

Mai all but ran along the zig-zagging path leading to her dorm, ignoring everyday sights like Itoshiki-sensei hanging from a tree, or those pink haired Loli twins kissing in the bushes. Very soon, she reached the entrance, which was deserted save for a boy even younger than Takumi, who was either just walking in himself or pretending to do so.

Negi-sensei. He lived two stories above, with his two 3-A roommates and students. "Good afternoon, Sensei," she respectfully greeted. He didn't teach her any classes, and normally, she came back from her job long after his extra classes finished, so they rarely ever met. Then she saw the gorgeous blond woman who had been talking with him as they entered the building. "Ah! You are -"

"Oh. Tokiha-san, isn't that correct?" the stranger spoke before Negi could speak. "We met briefly two days ago, at Minamoto-sensei's office." Her voice had a curious but pleasant foreign accent to it. "I am Arika Springfield, Negi's mother. I find myself living with him, Miss Hasegawa and Miss Hakase for the time being."

"She just moved in last week," Negi offered quickly. "If any of us can help you with anything, Tokiha-san, we'd be enchanted to -"

"Ahh... oh, thanks, Sensei, but... but it won't be necessary, really!" Mai said just as quickly. "I had been having some... slight personal problems, but... I have found a way to cope, I mean, to solve them. Pleased to meet you, Arika-sama, really." She bowed her head for the woman. "But my little brother just moved in with us, yesterday, only for a while, mind you, and it's all according to the regulations, but -!"

Negi placated her with a hand gesture. "We know, Tokiha-san. As residents ourselves, we were notified by Management. I think it's admirable you take so great a care of your brother. Why, my sister Nekane -"

And then he stopped nervously, giving a short back glance at Arika's even and stoic face.

"I mean," Negi continued, not all that smoothly, "for a time, my dear mother was unable, against her will, to look after me, so Nekane was ... like a second mother for me. Um, I understand you'll want to be with Tokiha-kun as soon as possible, so ..."

"Thanks a million, Sensei," the girl said, with a last nod before quickly going for her door now the boy had subtly stepped aside. "Ah... see you later!" she said before closing it behind herself.

Negi sighed. "Why do I have the feeling that could have gone better?" And then, lowering his voice even more, "Mother, I'm not that good talking with girls. If I get this tongue-tied with Tokiha-san, how much will I stumble while telling Asuna-san she's my -"

Two delicate yet firm fingers were placed on his mouth. _"The walls have ears,"_ Arika whispered. _"Let us keep debating this elsewhere, but rest assured, Negi, I will help you to relate far more easily to women."_

That statement, innocent in and of itself, somehow managed to convey a subtle air of dread to Negi. Regardless, he could only nod.

* * *

><p>She was walking on all fours, something most people would have found horribly difficult to keep up even for minutes, just like she had been through the latest couple hours, ever since Nitta-sensei, that strange man, had sighed and finally granted her request of letting her go while a bell rang. Mikoto was starting to suspect there might be a link between that sound and Nitta-sensei letting them go.<p>

She had helped Nao-san for a while with her errands, and like usual, Nao-san, who was very kind, had rewarded her with a hamburger and cookies. Now Mikoto, with a packed belly and contented heart, prowled around the edges of the forest until it was time to go eat with Mai. Oh, and Takumi-san, right.

Mikoto couldn't help feeling jealous when Mai had Takumi-san so close to distract her attention away from Mikoto's needs, but Takumi-san had always been nice to her, so understood the need to try and being nice to him in turn. Like her grandfather had taught her, being nice to those who are nice to you, or to your relatives, was a duty imposed by honor, and since Mai was Mikoto's family now, so was Takumi-san. And yet, she really would have liked it if only he didn't take so much of Mai's attentions. To get revenge, she would come home much later tonight! That would teach them! Maybe Mai would go out to look for her, calling her name, which made Mikoto's heart to accelerate and feel warm.

Even so, now she was remembering all that about family, she also remembered Ani-ue. Grandfather would be angry if he ever learned, from the sky, she had neglected her quest for Ani-ue. He would say she had forgotten her duty, pampered and spoiled by the bourgeois domestic comfort, whatever that was, instead of following the sacred path of her clan's union.

Mikoto stopped, sitting next to a small hillside river, to think. Her problema was she didn't know where to look for Ani-ue. Grandfather had said, before going sleep forever, Ani-ue would be at Mahora Academy, but through the last few weeks, Mikoto had looked all over the academy without finding him, and she didn't have any more clues than those she had upon arriving. That Reito boy Mai talked so highly about looked an awful lot like Ani-ue, or at least like the vague memories, mostly smell-related ones, Mikoto held about them; but he had claimed not having any sister, and she was Ani-ue's sister, so that made it... how went the word?... unlikely he could be the boy she was looking for.

The thin girl began scratching her scalp. Then she leaned ahead to drink from the small river just like a cat would have, even if mostly to distract her from her immediate concerns. Sometimes, distracting herself from her problems meant, shortly after, she would have a bright idea on how to solve them. (Said idea generally amounted to 'Asking for Mai's help').

Once her thirst was quenched, Mikoto sat on the grass, resting her back against a tree, with the Miroku sword at her side, firmly held in a small hand. That strong and expert grip did not linger even when the girl fell asleep slowly, dreaming about Ani-ue's blurry face, about their grandfather, about the fragrances of the woods, and most especially, about Mai, and her delicious meals.

When she woke up, the sky was very dark, and her hunger had returned, stronger tan before. She rummaged through the bag of cookies Nao-san had given her, only to be reminded she had eaten them all right after receiving them. Like always. That saddened her for a moment, before her spirits were lifted by another bright idea. She would go ask Mai for dinner! And she also would ask for her help to find Ani-ue! Maybe that time, unlike the forty prior ones, Mai could be of help for that...

Securing her sword on her back, Mikoto began running on all fours towards the dormitories.

Oh, that star was all red again, she noticed while she was on her way. Maybe this time she would remember mentioning that to Mai once at home, assuming something more important, like dinner, wouldn't distract her again.

* * *

><p>But perhaps we are getting ahead of ourselves here. Considerably before before Mikoto would wake up, Mai was leaving her shoes near her door, and then walking further in, with a sigh. "Takumi, I'm home! Takumi?"<p>

There was a soft rustling of leaves in the tree near their window. Mai looked outside for a moment, completely failed to notice the fleeing Kunoichi, shrugged the noise off as a bird or cat sneaking around again, and repeated herself. "Takumi?"

His voice came, weak and tired, from the bathroom. "Nee-chan ... I'm here ..."

"Takumi?" she said a third time, heading for the bath's door and pulling it open, making him shriek in shame, pushing his hands over his crotch. Mai saw the clothes he had hung aside, and the full furo, and frowned. "What are you trying to do to yourself? The doctors and nurses have told you over and over you're still too weak to bathe by yourself! Do you want to faint and drown alone?"

He looked aside, tying a towel around his scrawny waist. "No."

"Then why did you do this?!"

"Does it make any actual difference?"

"What ... of course it does! Do you want me to walk in here and find you dead in the tub? Takumi!"

He sighed, exasperated, too reluctant to break the farce and be open about preferring that to see her crying as he wasted away in a bed. "Of course I don't, but, but that wouldn't happen! And frankly ... frankly, Oneechan, I'm already sick of being bathed by strangers, like a ... like a thing to be pitied! I know I can do this, I -"

"No. No, you can't!" There was another sigh, and a softening of her tone. "But it's okay, I swear you won't be bathed by strangers anymore. Your sister will help you, just like when we were younger."

"Wha -? NO!" he protested vehemently, turning to look at her as Mai unbuttoned her jacket and pulled it over her head. "That's even worse!"

"Oh, don't be a crybaby. You never complained before," Mai said while unzipping her skirt.

"That, that was before!" he blushed, averting his gaze as the skirt hit the tiled light blue floor. "You, you ... Oneechan, you remember, th-the other day, don't you? What I told you... in the hospital... please... don't make this any harder for me..."

As tears began pooling in his eyes, she caught him in a gentle, loving embrace. "Takumi-kun. Don't be silly. You are too innocent and pure. You're just confused about what you're feeling, and you've watched too many weird movies. I don't think you're actually feeling what you think you're feeling."

"What ... no, I am!" he said, squirming as she undid his towel, yanking it aside and then forcing him to sit down to be scrubbed, herself reduced to her white bra and panties. "I am, seriously, Oneechan! Take me seriously for once!"

"Shhhh," Mai said as she began washing his back. "Silly Takumi-kun. Relax. I won't hold anything of what you said against you. It's natural for you to get wrong ideas, but soon, you'll realize what true love is, and ..." She teared up in silence as she kept him looking away from her. "Soon, you'll find yourself a girl who really can love you back... like you deserve..."

Takumi only could wonder now, mortified, how the blood was flowing so efficiently to his penis at the moment, when he had been having so many circulation problems all over the rest of his body lately. He chose to close his eyes and think of baseball (he was a Giants fan) while he was washed, then cringed as her hands massaged his shoulders, and finally breathed easier when the hands pulled back.

His relief didn't last long.

"Get in the tub," she said, and Takumi's mind shorted out.

"With ... with you?" he stuttered.

There was a short pause, and then she asked, "Do you want to get in with me?"

He cursed himself inwardly. Why had he, out of nowhere, assumed she'd get in with him? She had given no signs of it, because she wasn't a weirdo pervert like him, otherwise she'd have stripped down completely instead of just to something that wasn't worse at all than a bikini, and now he had -

Seeing that he wasn't answering, and he was starting to look even worse from her end, Mai sighed softly and said, "If that's what you really want, I... I have no issues with it."

Takumi tensed up momentarily, right before being grabbed by the armpits and gently lifted off his feet, yelping and trying to cover his dangling genitals. His sister tenderly guided him to the furo, making him sit down inside it. That was when he finally could say, "No, no! I mean, thank you, but it's not proper anymore! I didn't mean that at all, I just assumed, stupidly -"

"It's not stupid to assume I'll be there for you, at your side, forever, for anything you may ever want, Takumi." With Zen-like calm achieved through burning herself through the pain, she unhooked the back of her brassiere, freeing her large, full breasts, still perky despite their size. Takumi, who had just looked back at her, averted his gaze again, babbling to himself, with crimson cheeks.

"Takumi," Mai said very softly. "You... you do desire me, don't you?"

He sobbed a little, wishing to die then and there. "Yes. I told you, yes!" He grew even more frustrated, balling his fists on his knees. "Don't keep me torturing with that, please! I already know I'm awful, and I have a dirty mind, and that's why God is punishing me!"

She knelt at his side, weeping herself and caressing one of his cold cheeks. He tried to look the other way, but she gently grabbed his chin, making his eyes rest on hers. "No. I'd never want to torture you, Takumi. You're the one I love the most in the world, and that won't change, ever, no matter how you may think of me. It doesn't matter if you hate me, or ignore me, or you love me in any way, but I'll keep loving you regardless. And God isn't punishing you for this. Sometimes ... these things just happen. I stopped trying to figure out why long ago, but I just know it can't be because they're trying to punish someone as wonderful as you. Because, then..." Her tone grew doubtful, embarrassed, "Th-then, I'd have been punished first. Because I actually have done bad things, Takumi. But this... this won't be one of them."

And she kissed his mouth again, now deeper and slower, and Takumi's heart raced madly. Apparently, that fact came to her mind somehow, because just as soon as she'd begun, she pulled back, whispering, "If you want me that way, I'll gladly let you. But ... only if you are feeling -"

He hesitated before making his mind up. His emotions were talking for him. He knew his remaining time was short, and he had never accomplished any of his dreams. He already was receiving divine punishment, so what difference could this make? He only hoped God could forgive Mai, for what he was forcing her to do.

This time, his lips were the ones planting themselves on hers.

She closed her eyes and kissed her dear little brother, pulling him out of the tub with herself, as his shaky hands went for her panties and tugged them down. He had only the faintest idea of what to do from there; nothing but bits and pieces taken from conversations with older boys, often in hospitals, and some common sense telling him of the most logical way a boy's organs could fit in with a girl's. But apparently, his beloved Oneechan was indeed more experienced than he would have ever thought, because, after kicking the panties away, she guided him over her body, and took a hold of his rigid member, and pulled it inside of her thing.

Takumi panted as he entered her, and for several moments she was deadly afraid that this was killing him. Yet, as he regained control over his breathing, and began sloppily pumping into her, placing his hands on her breasts, he actually acted a lot like the other boys she'd been with in the past. Mai was not a nymphomaniac, but a girl forced to mature before her time, with tons of concerns in her mind and a sensual body; she'd had both the attention of several boys in her prior schools and the need to release tension somehow before it killed her. She wasn't proud of her slips, but she still thanked the experience in silence, since otherwise this act would have been even more awkward. She found herself thinking that she could have sucked him off and been done with it (for now, at least), but since it had looked he really wanted intercourse instead, she couldn't let him down.

So there she was now, on her back on the bath's floor, her head's top touching the toilet, as her little brother fucked her, screaming her name. Not 'Oneechan!', no. Those were harsh, urgent cries of "MAI! MAI! MAI!"

He was even clumsier than the boys she had been with in the past, though. She would have corrected him under other circumstances, but no way was she going to ruin his moment by telling him he was an inadequate lover. Maybe she could shape him correctly, before...

To take her mind away from the horrible concept, she took a finger to the clitoris as Takumi pumped, and caressed herself as he began trembling in building climax.

"Ma- Oneechan! I, I think I'm going, going to, I think I have to -"

She pushed his hips further against hers. Tears streaming down her face, she begged. "No. Please, please. Do it inside. As much as you can. Takumi. Takumi!"

_Leave me something to remember you by_.

"Ah!" he yelled, and then twitched, and spilled his seed into his sister.

For a long moment, as long as time itself, they remained together, in silence, holding each other, as he coughed and she caressed his wet body.

"I love you," Mai said, ruffling his hair as he started weeping.

Then there was a question sounding from the bathroom's doorstep. It was a question of curiosity, not particularly horrified or angry. It was more than enough to cause the most intense panic in both siblings.

"Mai?" asked Mikoto, still in her school uniform, although with no shoes or socks. "What are you doing?"

"Mikoto!" her roommate stiffened under the boy who had grown paralyzed in terror. "I, I thought you wouldn't come back for-" Thinking about it, if anything, Mikoto had returned much later than her usual hours. The same hours Mai had insisted she should meet. Damn.

"Are you doing it with Takumi?" asked Mikoto, in the same curious and even vaguely amused tone. If anything, she sounded like a little girl who had just caught another one in mischief.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," muttered Takumi feverishly, curling in a fetal position.

"Okay, Mikoto," said Mai, gulping loudly. The terror written on her face began intimidating Mikoto, who gave a step back. "Let's keep… calm, won't we?" As is usually happens, especially with Minagi Mikoto, the request had a completely different effect than expected, and the petite girl, without fully knowing why, spun around abruptly and ran out of the bathroom, shrieking like a scared cat.

Despite her being much faster, in almost any circumstance, than Mai, she didn't get to cover three steps before her nude friend, after slipping out from under Takumi without dumping him aside (another miracle of Love!) reached her, grabbing her by a wrist, tackling her on the couch, and holding her under her firmly, wet melons hanging above the face of the terrified girl, and sperm dripping from her vagina onto Mikoto's stomach. "Please! I'm asking you to calm down!"

Mikoto swallowed. "Are you-?" she began asking, then to only shake her head, and continue, "Do you do things Takumi-kun?"

It was too late, beyond any doubt, to say ¡It wasn't what it looked like.' If even Mikoto had realized it, nobody on Earth could possibly have fallen for that...

"Yes," Mai said, as Takumi looked around for his underpants everywhere around. "Well, it's our first time, but it's okay, because we did it out of a mutual agreement! It's only bad if it's because you were forced to, ori f it's with a man who lures you into a truck or alley with candy, or- well, there are many other cases where this is bad, but this isn't one of those!"

"Oh," said Mikoto.

Several moments of silence ensued, during which Mikoto gazed back and forth between Mai, who still was holding her by the wrists, and Takumi, who had abandoned his search and now only sat on the toilet, wrapping curtains around himself, with the expression of an anguished just deflowered maiden.

"Are you-?" _mad_, Mai wanted to ask, but didn't dare completing the sentence.

"It's like what Jii did with Ani-ue," thought Mikoto aloud.

That made Takumi fall into a short but powerful fit of coughing, and Mai back away, letting Mikoto go. Her first instinct was crying that no, that it wasn't the same thing at all, before fully absorbing the implications. The bizarre stories Mikoto had told about her childhood certainly spoke of a negligent if not borderline abusive raising in a distant country feudal domain, but Mai had never suspected her little friend's grandfather, tyrannical and eccentric or not, could have abused his oldest grandchild. However, not only it would feel rather hypocritical acting scandalized about that in that moment, but starting throwing accusations around might have hurt Mikoto, or it could upset her, or both, and possibly mess everything up even moreso.

"Seriously...? I, I mean, yeah, it's more or less the same thing. I think. Some families, although they never should be all of them, have their own ways of... coming closer."

"Like this," said the other girl.

"Yeah, right, like this," a cornered Mai had to agree. "However, this is something no one must learn about if we want Takumi to stay with us..."

"I already learned it," Mikoto reminded her, sitting on the couch and tilting her head aside.

"I mean no one other than you!"

"Ah."

Mikoto thought about it for some moments. On one hand, she had no particular interest on Takumi remaining with them. If anything, the idea of Takumi walking away and Mai devoting herself to her full time again was so very tempting. On the other hand, she was, despite everything, aware Mai loved Takumi, and being separated from him would hurt her, and the last thing Mikoto would ever want to do was hurting Mai. The question about why it was so important for nobody else to learn never crossed her mind. If Mai said it, there was no point on questioning her motives, much less defying her authority. With a reluctant pout, she muttered, "Okay... but under one condition."

"Whatever you want!" quickly said her friend.

Mikoto blushed then, and the alarms in Mai's brain turned themselves on immediately. So did Takumi's, as he moved back to hide in the bathtub.

"Do you want to be that way with me too, Mai?" asked Mikoto.

That made Mai feel even worse, as if she was sinking deeper into cement with each turn of the conversation "I... I'm not sure. I mean," she added as fast as she could before Mikoto could break into tears, "Maybe, possibly, if you were older, but..."

"How much older is Takumi?" asked Mikoto now.

"It isn't about that!"

"But you just said it's because of my age, Mai! Or... Or is it because of anything else...?"

"No! You're very sweet, and cute, and.. ah... ahhhh... but..."

"I love you, Mai."

"And I love you too! But that's not the point!"

"Oh. You love Takumi in another way, no?"

"Yes!" Finally, understanding!

"You love Takumi more than me, no?" And her face abruptly melted into a pained mask that made Mai freeze in fear. She couldn't answer, but someone else did it for her.

"Mikoto-san, no," Takumi sighed, peeking the upper half of his body out of the tub. "She… she loves you just as much as she loves me. And… well, we all love you, so you don't need-"

Mikoto seemed surprised. "Takumi? You love me too?"

"¿Ah?" the boy blinked several times. Apparently diving their own grave deeper with each sentence, and realizing it only after the words had been said, was a talent carved with fire on the Tokiha bloodline. "W-Well, yes, but, but-"

"Hmmmmm," Mikoto hummed to herself. "Well, Takumi is important for Mai, so I guess Takumi should be important for me too, but-"

"Y-You don't have to do anything you don't want to!" Mai clung to the chance supplied by Mikoto's hesitation.

Once again, that had a radically different result to the expected one, although it did move Mikoto to take a definitive decision. And she never backed away from those. "No, but I do love Mai! Mai is the most important for me! I want to do things with Mai! Not so much with Takumi, sorry, Takumi..."

"That... That's perfect!" Takumi said, smiling for the first time that evening, as he started getting out of the tub with the curtains firmly wrapped around his body. "I think i'll let you talk your issues al-"

"But if I must be with Takumi to be with Mai, I'll do it!"

"Eeehhhhh?"

Mikoto's cheeks puffed up, and she looked aside in a resigned but irritated way. "I don't mind sharing." That feeling obviously wasn't very sincere, but at the very least she wasn't leaping across the rooms swinging her sword like a good scorned woman. Mai knew she had to be careful not to cause that outcome yet. Just like Takumi, judging from the way he had retreated back into the furo.

"Very well, then," conceded Mai, doing what she thought the best under unfavorable circumstances. "In that case, let's try to make this work as best as we can..."

* * *

><p><em>"Are you sure you can do this?"<em> whispered Mai to her brother as they followed a naked and skipping Mikoto into the bedroom, keeping him grabbed by a hand.

_"Are you?" _he asked back, while Mikoto began bouncing on Mai's bed, offering a wide gamut of diverse postures with each movement, which Takumi couldn't help but noticing with some degree of interest.

"I guess so," sighed his sister, then to gesture for Mikoto to stop. "Mikoto, you know well Takumi-kun is... a bit sick, so we're going to do this without hurting him, okay?"

After another momento of pondering, the smaller girl nodded quickly. "Whatever you say, Mai."

"Good… Good girl," Mai swallowed a large mouthful of saliva before kneeling down on the bed before Mikoto. That was something she never had thought she'd ever be doing, but thinking about it, she'd never have objected to doing it with Mikoto-chan once she had grown up and matured a bit. It wasn't like Mai was homophobic, or even unwilling to consider bisexuality or homosexuality for herself. When she had studied at Ohtori, she had even experimented with sex with another girl once, and even though her relationship with Takatsuki-sempai never could go further than that, it hadn't turned her sourly against homosexuality either, even if her tastes in general leaned more towards boys. And aside of the need for preserving Mikoto's feelings, there also was the urging need to... buy her silence. It sounded a tad horrible, but there was no other way of putting it.

Slowly, very slowly, the Tokiha sister covered the rest of the distance that separated them, wrapping her arms around Mikoto's slender shoulders. "Mikoto-chan, you're also very important to me," she promised, pulling the petite girl towards her own body, hugging her and leaning ahead to make her lips rest on Mikoto'.

After tensing up like never before, Mikoto relaxed in Mai's arms, and then her hands clung roughly onto Mai's flesh, Mikoto's tongue slipping into her roommate's mouth. That provoked a rough mixture of uncomfortable conflicting feelings in Mai; someone had to have taught Mikoto how to do that, but that was too scary to think about it. On the other hand, Mikoto was a small and wonderful animal moved by instincts. Maybe the same principle applied to this, too.

Kneeling at one side, Takumi watched them in an astonished silence. His gaze wandered from one girl to another, but his body was unable of moving until he saw Mai kneeling between Mikoto's legs, which were gently forced to open wide.

Mai had studied her own vagina before, of course; as a matter of fact, she had done so ever since she had grown aware of her own sexuality. But that was the closest she'd ever had to another girl's vagina, at least since her birth. With Takatsuki-sempai, she had received pleasure, but not granted it, which, in hindsight, probably added to the relationship's failure. She'd have to guide herself by what Sempai had done to her that night. Mai spread the lips of those hairless genitals, so she and Takumi could see what there was inside. Takumi's hand on Mai's ass distracted her for a moment, but then she decided stopping doubting, and just grabbing the bull by the horns.

So Mai reached out with one of the fingers of her other hand to start gently rubbing the 'little man in the boat'. Judging from the sounds Mikoto was making all through this, she seemed to really like that. Understandable, of course. It had felt good whenever anyone touched Mai in that place, whether it was herself or someone else. Just like Takumi was touching her now, mimicking her own actions. _Ah._

"Mai," Mikoto gasped. _"Mai!"_

Mai throttled the strange impulse to joke "That's my name, don't wear it out." She wasn't too sure how far they should go with all of that, but there was really only a couple of steps she could take in this position. Well, if they were going to do this, they might as well dive in the deep end, right? So she bent down and began licking at Mikoto's sex, So she crouched down and began licking Mikoto's sex, while Takumi grabbed her by the hips and again stuck his cock into Mai's cunt.

Mikoto's screams reached an incredibly high pitch, and for a moment Mai was haunted by visions of the whole building storming into the room, and innocent and polite Negi-shaking his head in utter disgust. But nobody interrupted them, not even when the screams were followed by convulsions that madly rattled the bed. Huh. So that was like pushing another girl into orgasm felt like. Mai had almost expected that there'd be some sort of liquid gushing out onto her face, but there was only the taste of Mikoto's sweat. Maybe a bit of something else, on the part of her tongue that had been the deepest into the vagina.

She guessed that it wasn't so -

Mikoto, displaying incredible strength and coordination, wiggled around until she was face to face with Mai, kissing her frantically enough to make Takumi fall on his back on the mattress, his penis slipping out of his sister. "Mai is great! Mai is wonderful! I would kiss the people that have made you such a great lover! Mai is great!"

"Um, well, you certainly can, at least-"

Both girls looked then at the panting boy resting on his back, his middle sized member still erect and covered by a thin layer of a translucid liquid.

Takumi grunted as Mikoto crawled until looming above his crotch. She warily touched the cock with a finger and asked, "Is it normal if it does this?"

Mai answered for him. "Well, yes, that's-"

"I'll clean up." And Mikoto promptly suited the action to her words, lowering her head to lick the phallus while Takumi and Mai choked up. Eventually, Mai grew relaxed, restraining herself to watch sitting on a pillow, as Takumi surrendered himself to the inexpert but enthusiastic oral pleasure. Until something seemed to crack in his psyche, and using the element of surprise, the boy turned the much, much stronger Mikoto around. Without giving her a moment of pause, he grabbed her hips and pushed his manhood into her femalehood.

One second later, he ejaculated inside.

Takumi made a strangely mortified sound.

Mikoto arched an eyebrow. "What was that about?"

With her concerns forgotten for the time being, Mai allowed herself a slight smile. _This has some potential,_ she decided.

* * *

><p>That night, they began sleeping together in Mai's bed. Mikoto curled up between them.<p>

"What are we going to do now?" he asked, anguished, as one of the girls he probably had just impregnated rested the lower section of her body on his, her head nestled on Mai's bust, with an ample dreaming smile.

Mai moved an arm as to not wake Mikoto-chan up and rubbed Takumi's hair.

"Living," she promised.

* * *

><p>"See you tonight, Takumi-kun. Call me if anything else happens, okay?" Mai told him, after placing a quick peck on his lips, as Mikoto sighed and tossed her backpack on herself. "Alright, let's go, Mikoto-chan! We're gonna be late!" she added, heading at a quick pace towards the front door.<p>

"Going," dragging her steps to go join her, not before darting a quick hostile glare towards Takumi,, who gulped hard and smiled weakly, Mikoto lifted her nose and walked out after Mai.

"Mikoto-chan, remember, be good to Takumi-kun," Mai chided her softly, as both girls began heading for the entrance of the school dorm building, never looking back. Mikoto repressed a brief shudder. She had faced a lot of enemies with keen senses and perception, but whenever Mai wanted it so, she was far more perceptive than any of them.

Mikoto lowered her head and did nothing but nodding.

While both raced down the narrow path to the school proper, Mai exhaled a long sigh and brought the topic in a low, confidential tone. "Are you upset again about last night? I thought we all were happy now."

"I have no reasons to be upset. It's that what Mai wants, it'll make me happy too."

"I'm sorry, Mikoto-chan, I really am. But it had to be this way, because, you'll see-"

"You don't need explaining nothing, Mai. Really."

"Of course I do! It's obvious you're jealous, and even though you have good reasons for it, it's not as simple as-"

_"Shhhh,_" Mikoto hissed, raising a hand a bit to silence her, right before a scooter passed right by them, with a maniacally grinning Hakase Satomi in a school uniform and goggles driving it, and a terrified Negi-sensei and Hasegawa Chisame-san clinging to her for dear lives. A few moments later, Asuna-san and a rollerblading Konoe Konoka-san also passed by, following the scooter's trail, rather faster than you would expect from average humans, much less young students.

"Good morning, Tokiha-san, Minagi-saaaaaaaaaaan!" Negi managed to greet them before they became a speck further down the road.

"One of these days, they're going to kill someone," Mai decided.

"He's cute. And strong," commented Mikoto, dispassionately.

Mai looked at her in a shocked way.

Mikoto looked back and asked "What?"

"Strong?" Mai blandly repeated, choosing to focus on the least disturbing part of that statement.

Mikoto nodded. "Mai, don't you remember the tournament? Negi-sensei's fight with Death Glasses-sensei?"

"Don't call him that! His name's Takahata! And that fight was staged, with special effects and everything! It was as fake as wrestling..."

Mikoto shook her head stubbornly. "I can tell a good fighter when I see them." Mai might know a lot about a whole lot of many things, but the poor girl was a complete pushover when it came to fighting... not that it made her any less fearsome for Mikoto.

"Well, whatever," Mai chose resuming the conversational thread. "I know we couldn't talk things through too much last night…"

"What we did instead of talking was very good."

Mai blushed. "Th-That's not the point! I'm glad you liked it, but... he loves me, and I love him, and you love me, and I love you, so even if there are, ah, unexpected results to this, I'll accept them gladly, because really, it only should us bring us all further together, because we all love each other, and all that matters now is -"

"That's perfect, then," said Mikoto, with a shrug of her shoulders. "I told you, if it makes you happy, it makes me happy. So, it makes you happy, Mai?"

Mai doubted Mikoto actually felt what she was saying, but since pointing it out only would bring further complications, she only could answer with three simple words. "Yes. It does."

"Then I'm happy," said a clearly not fully happy (for once) Mikoto. But since her tone seemed to make clear she didn't want to keep talking about the subject, not to mention they were approaching a chattering group of 3-F students, she decided to just cut the discussion short right then and there.

* * *

><p>It was yet another average day of classes. As average as Hitou Nami, that much of an average.<p>

* * *

><p>"So, I'll see you tomorrow, then," Mai told Akane, before they took their separate ways near the Himeno Fumi statue. "If the Boss or Sekai-chan ask about Takumi, please tell them he's better now…"<p>

"I'll tell them you're both doing just fine, don't worry," Akane replied, with a hand on Mai's shoulder. "How about Mikoto-chan? How is she taking it?"

"Oh, well, she… she and Takumi-kun have been growing a lot closer lately," replied Mai, uneasily. "I think she's still a bit jealous… just like a little girl would… more or less. But, well, we're working on it!"

"You haven't told her-?" Akane hesitated.

"Do you mean…? NO! I mean, I can't, I couldn't, Mikoto is still too innocent, I mean too young, I mean…!"

Akane raised an eyebrow slightly at her friend and colleague's strange anxiety, but considering Mai's circumstances, perhaps it wasn't that strange at all, anyway. So she only gave a few soft pattings on Mai's shoulder. "It's your decision, Mai-san. You do know Mikoto-chan better than anyone."

"Yeah, well… that's too true, I guess…"

Akane gave her a small chaste kiss on a cheek. "It's okay. Don't worry about the job. I think the Boss already got a temporary replacement for you, anyway. Just... look, take good care of yourself, will you?"

"I swear I won't break down to pieces no matter what," stated Mai solemnly.

Akane nodded only once. "That'd be nice. Well. Have a good afternoon, Mai-san."

"You too, Akane-chan. My regards to Kazuya-san."

She watched her friend walk away, and then began rushing down the path, taking the shortcut between the miniature skating park and the children's playground with the Emperor Penguin slide. Oddly, both were completely empty at the moment. Well, after the incident near the end of the summer vacation, she supposed things were different everywhere. People seemed scared to be caught alone outside past a certain time, and there was a subtle air of uneasiness when wandering out near dusk. As a matter of fact, she was feeling it herself, even more than usual now, as a chilling breeze caressed her spine and fluttered her skirt.

Then she stopped, feeling as if she had just lost her way. It was very strange, since she knew this neighborhood well, but it seemed she had strayed from her usual path at some point, and now reached a dead end of sorts, her way blocked by several thick bushes and large boulders, in addition to a few tall trees with mostly dead branches that reached out like the bony claws of skeletal witches.

Mai turned around and didn't recognize the way she had taken to get here, either. The sky was getting darker very fast, with no moon or stars, only a bloated, shining crimson Mars hanging above her. The breeze grew stronger, and to boot, Mai began hearing a mysterious voice in her head. She had heard of things like this.

The voice was small and warm, either feminine or childlike. It was very cute, actually, which only added to the horror of having it inside of her mind. She could tell, somehow, she wasn't actually hearing it, not with her ears, certainly. Those only picked the rustling of leaves and the howl of the wind.

_You have walked into an Orphan's domain, Tokiha Mai-san. Be careful! The Orphan will try to devour you now. Only the Contract can save you._

"What ... w-who's there? Who said that?" she quickly spun around, readying her fists. "C-c-cut it out, whoever you are! This prank isn't funny!"

Two small red eyes appeared in the ever growing darkness, and the voice came closer in her thoughts. _The Orphan comes closer, Tokiha Mai-san. Make a Contract with me, now, and you may save your life and achieve your greatest dream. Any wish you have, anything your heart longs for, the force of the Contract can grant. But if you hesitate, you can lose the chance, and your very existence!_

"Who are you?" she said. "Come out and l-let me see you! I'm not afraid!"

_Good. That's, actually, very commendable. Courage is a need for a Magical Princess_, the voice seemed pleased, and then a tiny white animal stepped out of the expanding shadows, revealing itself as the owner of the red eyes._ Satisfied to make your acquaintance, Tokiha Mai-san. I am your Incubator. Will you, at last, make a Contract with me?_

"A ... a cat?" she babbled. "Oh, oh, I get it, ventriloquism, right?"

The animal tilted its head to one side. _It would seem it arrived here earlier than calculated. Curious..._

"What arrived?" Mai found herself asking, and then her answer came, shattering two trees and pushing them aside like broken toothpicks.

* * *

><p>"This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening!" Mai kept yelling as she ran deeper into the woods, since turning back towards the campus wasn't an actual choice, with a five-foot tall centipede-like monster with red eyes and multiple mouths chasing her. It was getting closer and closer at a truly frightening speed, with only its size delaying it in its mad run between the trees and bushes.<p>

This stretch of woodland didn't even look like it belonged to Mahora, or even Japan for that matter. It looked like it had been pulled out from a child's nightmare, and strange creatures similar to owls made of paper mache moved in the branches, waving their wings that flapped like paper cutouts. Their chants were a cacophonic symphony, in contrast with the Orphan's silence. It all was maddening and disturbing, and the way the Incubator effortlessly hopped besides Mai, keeping up with her dash with only a comical skipping that reminded her of that cartoon skunk chasing after the cat, only added to the surreal, bizarre atmosphere.

"Someone help me!" Mai screamed. "Anyone! I can't die like this!"

_No one will come as long as you're still within the Orphan's domain, Mai-san_, the Incubator said. _This is a closed sub-space generated by the Orphan, and you only will leave when you have killed it. You could do so if you just accepted my Contract..._

"What do I have to do?!" she despaired. "What do you want from me?! Why'd you sic that thing on me?!"

_I don't have the power to bring Orphans to this world_, the furry critter said, its tone still the same. _They come here on their own, attracted to you, the Princesses. You could learn more if you accepted the Contract_.

She took a look over her shoulder, nearly out of breath. She saw the monster was almost on her now. She jumped for a nearby boulder, thanking both her good PE grades and her adrenaline rush, but even that proved only a momentary relief as the thing began climbing after her with amazing dexterity, its multiple sharp jaws drooling. The paper nightmare owls began flying in circles over her.

"Fine!" Mai cried as soon as she reached the boulder's top, with nowhere to run and no quick way down but a long leap that might shatter her legs. "You win, damn it! I'll take that Contract! Just tell me what to do!"

_Welcome, Princess Mai_, the Incubator said, and then Mai felt as if something was plucked out of her chest with great violence. For a moment, she saw it, a warm small sphere of orange light, floating before her eyes, before it reattached to herself, burying itself into her right breast, and leaving a tiny mark in the form of the astrological sign for Cancer on her skin. Then her clothes, in the span of a second, felt like burning on her body, but without scorching her, harmlessly changing into an orange jacket, short brown skirt, and a long, dark red scarf around her neck. However, what startled her the most was to see how a loose, metallic ring covered by flames that didn't harm her either appeared around each of her wrists. The monster and the owls looked startled as well, backing away with the attitude of wildlife scared by a hunter.

"This is ..." Mai whispered, frankly amazed.

_Your element is fire_, the Incubator said. _Use it wisely if you wish to live. Picture it in your mind, obeying you. Imagine it doing what you want it to do. That is a Princess' royal command._

"Fire," Mai whispered again, thrusting her trembling hands ahead, towards the multi-legged beast. **"FIRE!"** she roared, and indeed, a powerful burst of orange flames jumped from her palms, hitting the Orphan, which made no sound even now, even as it fell on its back on the grass, shaking every leg violent in painful-looking throes.

But then the owls fluttering around it were sucked into its body by some sort of invisible force, which made it switch to a form more similar to a huge metal snake. Mai blinked. "Okay, that doesn't seem fair..."

At that time, several shots rang out, which seemed to impact the belly of the 'Orphan', which for some reason suddenly was covered by a thick ice sheet. Mai looked in the direction from which the shots had come from, and saw a person in a tight black leather uniform and motorcycle helmet, holding a small pistol with short barrels in each hand. "Who...?"

_Well, but if it is Kuga Natsuki-san..._ considered the Incubator, cocking its head. _I really did not think you would join this..._ A second later, another one of those freezing bullets hit it, leaving it made into an ice block and making Mai squeal.

A moment later, she blinked. "Wait a minute. Kuga Natsuki? I'm sure I've heard that name before ..."

"Don't be distracted, rookie!" scolded the figure with the face covered by the helmet. "I won't save your ass a second time!"

"But I don't know what to do!" Mai whined, jumping out of the way of the 'Orphan''s tail with an agility she ignored she had, and landing on her feet on the grass. "Who are you, a cop?"

"Of course not!" Kuga Natsuki growled as she shot for the head of the monster, freezing part of its right side. "'We have no time to socialize; we're fighting for our lives! Use your Element!"

That sounded pretty reasonable, considering the circumstances, so Mai concentrated again, wishing for something bigger and able to kill the beast once and for all. After one or more desperate moments where nothing happened, she felt something hot in her hands, and looked down to notice the presence of a shield of fire between her fingers. It was quite large, much like those she had seen in movies about medieval knights. "What kind of weapon is that?" she complained. She would have preferred something like those guns, rather than an implement of simple defense. However, seeing that the monster was leaping on her at that moment, she decided to risk everything and attacked by shielding themselves as best he could, sliding under its belly and ramming it with the shield.

To her great surprise, the impact finally made the beast cry, while contact with the flames opened its stomach, quickly reducing it to black ashes. The rest of its body suffered the same fate with amazing speed, decomposing into dust, and then the dust dissolved into nothingness. Meanwhile, the forest seemed to change back to normal in a blink of an eye, including trees, including even the sky, which appeared again as it had always been, except for the red Mars.

Mai coughed under the cinder column that evaporated with her touch, with the rings rotating slowly around her hands, and said in a low voice, "Oh, wow. Ah. Are you okay?"

Kuga Natsuki, if such was her name, nodded for a moment, before taking aim at Mai's head with a pistol. "Abandon Mahora Academy, before worse things happen to you."

"Huh?" Mai said smartly.

The Incubator's voice sounded in her head again. _Magical Princesses should not fight each other. I don't think that's a good idea for the time being_.

Mai turned her head to look at it, despite the gun pointed to her skull. "Ah! You were there?"

_Yes, always_, nodded the critter, sitting on the grass.

"But ... But I thought ..." Mai looked towards the block of ice in which still there was stuck the motionless Incubator.

_Oh, that's simply another of my bodies._

"... ah."

_In any case, congratulations! You have survived!_ the Incubator told her. _Now, what is your wish?_

"Don't accept his deal!" shouted Natsuki Kuga (if that was her name). "NO!"

The Incubator looked at her this time. _But Natsuki-san, she has already accepted the terms and made the Contract. There's no point on trying to deny her compensation_.

"My compensation?" Mai repeated dubiously.

The creature nodded. _In exchange for your services as a Princess Magical and riding the world of the Orphans, you can ask for anything you want. That is the prerogative of a Princess. Unless, of course, Natsuki-san shoots you before you can make your wish..._

Girl and Critter stared at the figure in black leather, who seemed to consider that seriously for a few moments before lowering her guns reluctantly. And she removed his helmet, revealing a beautiful female face with fair skin and a full head of lustrous long black straight hair, suddenly rocked by the cool breeze in a slow way similar to that of TV commercials. Mai's heart beat faster for a moment.

"Okay," she barked in a hostile tone. "Just remember to stay out of my way from now on. I shouldn't have saved your life..."

"Oh, yes, well, about that ..." Mai said, rubbing her own chin with a finger, "Thanks anyway ... Kuga-sempai, right?"

The other girl said nothing.

_That's correct,_ the Incubator answered for her.

Natsuki Kuga, which was her name, after all, merely stamped a foot in it.

Mai raised an eyebrow critically.

"I know why I did it," Kuga said coldly while removing her foot as if she had fouled it.

"Okaaaayyyyy," Mai placed her hands on her own hips. She had no doubts on what to ask, regardless of if it could come true or not. Even in the worst case scenario, they couldn't be any worse than how they started, right? "I wish for Takumi to be healthy and strong, for its illness to be over as of now. I wish for him to live without any fear of ever dying!"

The small being nodded at the firmness of her wish, with a strange glint in his eyes. _That is a very easy and convenient wish, Princess. It is done_, it said, and then turned around as if to leave. _Thank you for your cooperation. I will be there, at your side, when you have further need of me._

"What? Wait, no!" she yelled. "I need you NOW! I need you to answer several questions! Why was I chosen for this? How can I be sure you aren't lying? Where do you come from, anyway? What, what's your real name, anyway? You surely can't be called just 'Incubator', can you?"It didn't look back.

_That is not, actually, a need. Those are wishes you have, of further information, but you already formulated the sole wish I am obliged to grant. But I'll answer your queries all the same. You were chosen because you were born with the latent power of a Princess. You can be sure I'm not lying because we never lie, and I swear on that. I come from a place I can't describe with words from your language. And 'Incubator' is my actual designation ... but other Princesses have seen fit to call me 'Kyubey'. Good night, Tokiha Mai Hime-sama, Kuga Natsuki Hime-sama,_ it politely said, and then ran into the cloaking darkness.

Mai just stared at the place where it had been only a moment ago, and kept doing so as her clothes somehow returned to normal, her rings vanishing. Then she looked at Natsuki. "You're that biker girl who has a lot of fangirls, aren't you? Please, would you give me a ride home?"

"I don't think you want to be seen with a delinquent like me," observed Kuga quietly as she put her helmet back on. "Walking for a while should do you good. Maybe it'll help you clear your mind."

"You're very kind," Mai dryly commented.

"Who's that Takumi you mentioned, by the way?"

"My little brother."

"I see," said the other girl, in a slightly less glacial tone, almost sadly; in any case, it did not last more than a few seconds. "Well. I guess it was a proper wish then. Take good care of him... Family is always important."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't know. I only was tracking the Orphan. Sometimes they ambush civilians and mundanes, so when I saw you, I thought you were an innocent victim... until I noticed your Element."

"Hey, that just meant that I was an innocent victim, but one with powers ... ummm, magical powers, right?!"

Natsuki gave her a cold and cynical look. "Call it magic, if you want to. I call it accumulation of materialized photons . As for the rest, figure it out yourself. I've done enough for you," and she walked away at a calm and steady pace. Seeing her from behind, yeah, she sure had a nice firm ass under that tight black leather...

Then Mai remembered Takumi.

* * *

><p>"TAKUMI!" Mai slammed the door open as soon as she stormed into her home. "Sorry I'm late! I ran into a... a wild animal on my way here, and, and I -"<p>

She was left speechless by what she saw.

Mikoto looked up from where her chin was resting on the table in front of an empty plate, and her eyes went from pitifully hungry to furiously jealous for not being mentioned, and then to strongly concerned, all within seconds. "Mai! What wild animal? Did it hurt you? Did you bring it for dinner?"

But all the attention of her friend (and recent lover) was focused now on Takumi, whom she had surprised hopping around on one leg, arms outstretched, with an idiotically wide smile on his face, which disappeared just as soon as he saw his sister.

"Oneechan!" the boy gulped nervously. "Ah, I'm sorry, but suddenly ... suddenly, I was feeling much better, like I hadn't felt in years! Mikoto-chan tried to keep me down, yeah, I mean, well, the thing is, I just felt like I could jump! And I hadn't jumped for so long ... sorry, I'll go lie down now ..."

"Do you feel like lying down?" Mai asked.

After a moment of wide eyed doubt, Takumi shook his head.

Mai hugged him fiercely. "It worked! Oh my God, it really, really worked!"

"What... what worked?" he asked, blinking in confusion, but she was too busy crying over him to listen to him. Which wasn't that much of a new thing, actually.

Mai grabbed Takumi's face, checking on his temperature and peeling his eyes well open, looking awkwardly close into his eyeballs, which for once weren't reddened. "Oh my God, you're fine. You're fine! It's a real miracle!"

"Oneechan, maybe, maybe it's just a temporary improvement," he reluctantly said. "I guess I'll need some tests, or -"

"Tests! Yes, that's it!" Mai gushed. "Tomorrow, we'll take you to get some new tests, and they'll work out wonderfully, and we'll be happy again, together!" Again, she pressed him against herself, laughing. "Oh, Takumi, I love you, I _really_ love you!"

With an unreadable expression, Mikoto turned around and walked away, reaching for Miroku. There had to be something out there to hunt and eat...

And hopefully no one would see her crying...

That was until Mai grabbed her by a sleeve and pulled her towards both of them.

"Together, with Mikoto-chan," Mai corrected herself, and then began to kiss her.

Mikoto shuddered.

For the first time ever, she wondered, albeit crudely, why she needed so little to make her happy.

* * *

><p><em>Later:<em>

Saionji Youko, a still young and beautiful woman of long brown hair tied into a ponytail, dressed in a purple shirt with a light red sweater over it, and a long skirt, faced the three younger females who had served as her usual waitresses during the last few months. Her own daughter Sekai, her daughter's classmate Akane, and a mutual friend and coworker, Tokiha Mai, who stood in the middle of the trio, sporting a nervous, apologetic smile.

Youko sighed. "I am very glad about your brother's miracle recovery, Mai-chan, and I'm honored you have so much of a hurry to return to your job here now."

"Well ..." The busty girl scratched the back of her neck. "I've always loved this job, Boss. It gives me a sense of purpose. I don't think I ever could live without working, really."

"And that's admirable," Youko said. "However, while you always have done a stellar job ... I can only pay three waitresses at a time. And while you were away, your replacement committed herself to the job so much, I'm going to have a very hard time telling her she has to leave. I'm not sure how -"

"That'll be no problem, Boss," another female voice said from the door of Youko's office at the back of the café. The four of them turned to look at the newcomer, a tall, curvy female with striking red hair and a flashing, proud grin of perfect white teeth.

"Sugiura-sensei?" Mai recognized the History teacher. "You are my substitute here?"

Akane looked a bit downcast. "Sorry I didn't tell you before. I just had no idea how -"

The redhead laughed loudly. "Oh, c'mon, it's no big deal anyway! I'm sure we can reach an agreement! I don't need a lot of extra money ... I'd be willing to work for half of the wages, actually ... just as long as I get to be here, doing what I enjoy best after teaching, studying, and, ah, a third thing! And we all should spend our bright youths doing what we like best, don't you think, Mai-chan?"

Mai blinked. "Hm, sure, but wouldn't that be a bother to you, I mean, only half the -"

The newcomer gave her a thumbs up. "Hey, I told you, I don't care! I'm only seventeen years old! At this age, we can't be too greedy! And we took the Contract ... because we really wanted it, riiiight?"

"The... Contract?" Mai said, wondering if she meant - and then something in the glint in Sugiura Midori-sensei's eyes told her that she meant what she thought she meant. Mai felt herself start to tremble inside.

Oblivous to this byplay, Saionji Sekai muttered, "Seventeen years old? Really?"

* * *

><p>It had been a fairly good day on the job. Four of them serving tables made it all that much faster and easier, and the dynamics didn't seem to have suffered at all. Akane seemed oddly distant that day for some reason or another, but she was polite and tolerant on the job as ever, and Sekai was in her usual good, chipper mood, cracking light comments even to the customers.<p>

It was clear, however, that Sugiura-sensei wasn't cut for this line of work, and despite all of her enthusiasm (which actually didn't seem as overwhelming as Youko-san had described it) she was clumsy and mostly inefficient at it. She confused orders and dropped two trays while rushing between tables, and by the end of the day, Mai and Sekai were in silent agreement that half of the usual payment still might be too much for her. Still, at no time did she lose her good mood and disposition, so scolding her or losing your patience with her seemed borderline cruel. For now.

Despite that, Mai had pretty much lost what little good will she had left when she noticed Sugiura-sensei was closely following her during her way back home.

While crossing the small bridge over the river (not to be mistaken with the much bigger suspension bridge where Negi had fought Evangeline downriver) Mai finally decided that she'd had enough, and turned around to face her, under the reddish afternoon sky.

"Okay," Tokiha said. "I'll be direct, if you excuse me."

"I prefer it that way," the young teacher shrugged her shoulders, with a carefree expression on her face.

"Why are you following me? And don't give me the 'I live this way too' excuse, because not only do teachers live the other way across the river, but you have never taken the same way as me before!"

The older female raised an eyebrow. "My, my, my! Is that a way to treat a teacher of yours?"

"I guess the fact that you're only one year older than me might make for a mitigating factor?" Mai shot back, quite sharply.

"True," Midori rubbed her own chin. "It's like we're classmates more than anything else, right? Still, I won't have you calling me Midori-chan yet."

A huge bead of sweat grew on Mai's head. "I'll never do that. Please answer my question."

"I was staring at your ass all the way here," the teacher said frankly. "I had never noticed you had such a firm, nice ass. I mean, people always talks about your boobs, but I've never been a boob person."

Mai fell flat on her face, then sprang back to her feet, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Th-Th-That's abuse of authority! Sexual harassment! I'll report you!"

"I guess my being only one year older than you might make for a mitigating factor?" Midori asked her, quite sharply.

"..." Mai said.

"Relax, I'm only kidding around," the teacher chuckled. "Although you do have a nice ass, and yeah, I had never noticed. But you're more of an Otouto-con, aren't you?"

After a moment of extreme paleness, a deep shade of pink blush rose across Mai's face. "What! How!"

Midori looked at her curiously. "Tch, just kidding again. Touched a nerve? I mean, the way you always worry so much about your brother, the kids are always making those shifty jokes behind your back, but you know them, never mind the idiots. Glad he's feeling better now, by the way."

"What? How?" Mai babbled this time. "Wait, they are? Who? Those bums - it's Aoi and Chie, right!?"

"Nope," Midori lied as easily as you breathe. "It's kind of your own fault too, Mai-chan. I understand you couldn't tell them all about his state, but if you only had been a little more specific about it, they might have understood your devotion better."

Mai began scowling in a downright chilling way. "And ... who told YOU about -?" If it had been Mikoto, she'd make her pay, no matter what.

"Kyubey did," Midori replied nonchalantly.

Once again, Mai went pale. _"Him?!"_

Midori nodded. "You only need to ask the right questions. A tip; every time you meet him, ask him if he's recruited another girl. Then ask who is she, if his answer is affirmative. Try asking simple, inescapable Yes or No questions. He's very tricky, and often talks in double meanings... not double entendres, mind. I don't think he even understands what's sex about. Hell, I'm almost convinced he has no sex at all. I started calling him a her, but Mami-chan thought she was more like a him, so I followed her cue. Nothing worth fighting over, believe me."

Mai blinked. "Mami-chan? Who's that?"

"Our Vice-President."

"What are you talking about? Fujino Shizuru-sempai is our Vice-President! Everyone knows that!"

"No, I mean the Vice-President of our Magical Girls Association. I am the President-for-Life, of course!" She flashed her perfect glinting grin again, and her teeth softly went _Ting!_ Somehow.

Mai's eyes had grown to a truly grotesque size. "You have an Association?"

"**We** have an Association!" Midori remarked, poking a finger into Mai's chest. "Welcome, new member!"

After a split second of looking on the edge of protesting furiously, Mai deflated and sighed, "So you really did mean Kyubey's contract back there ... I had almost convinced myself otherwise ..."

"What, did you really think you'd be the only one?"

"I don't know," Mai confessed. "I never thought about it, really. I've been too worried about Takumi. How many-?"

"Five so far, in this district. Yours Truly, Homura-chan, Natsuki-chan, Mami-chan, and now you! You okay, Hon? You look kind of pale."

"In this district?!"

"There might be more in other areas of Japan, or even across the world."

"MIGHT?!"

"Often, Kyubey also can be very good dodging answering things altogether, no matter how much you try," she smiled almost fondly. "That literal little rat-bastard."

Mai took both hands to her own head, muttered a curse, and then realized something. "Did you say 'Natsuki-chan'?"

"Yep."

"Like in Kuga Natsuki?"

"Yep."

"The Kuga Natsuki in the classroom next to mine, the same one who misses classes all the time, the delinquent and truant we only see like once a month? The one we always wonder why the teachers haven't booted her out yet?"

"Well, we did set her a year back. She's one year older than you. Technically, the decision was made before my time since I only started as a teacher this year, but... anyway, yeah, her! Now, will you come with me to tonight's meeting? I'm sure Mikoto-chan won't mind eating your brother's dinner, assuming he can do it himself. Which he should, now he's fully healthy again. I had congratulated you on that, hadn't I?"

"Yes, you had. But, um, look, Sensei, even so, I don't feel like leaving Takumi and Mikoto-chan alone for so long."

"But we'll have tea! And pastries! Mami-chan's are the best!"

"... I'm trying to watch my weight."

"Tsk! The continued exercise of fighting for Justice as a Magical Girl will keep you fit! You need all the nutrients you can get!"

"You seem very sure I'll devote my life from now on to fighting those ... _Orphans_ with you. Why?"

"You have to. That comes with taking the Contract."

"Oh? So all four of you -?"

"Well, actually, only Mami-chan and me are official members."

"So your organization has a President, a Vice-President ... and no one else?"

"We have you now. And recruiting the others is a work in progress! Now, will you come with me before anyone else FINALLY passes here near us and wonders what's up with the nonsense we're discussing like lunatics?"

Mai sighed in utter defeat. "It'll only be a few minutes, right?"

* * *

><p>The tea and pastries were indeed delicious, some of the best Mai had ever tasted. "Congratulations!" she said, with sincerity in each letter. "This, this is wonderful! You're an excellent homemaker, Tomoe-san!"<p>

The beautiful young lady sitting across her and Midori, perhaps only a few months younger than Mai, smiled very pleasantly, in a way that softly lightened her angelical face framed by golden curls. She wore all white, and despite being shorter than either of them, she was just as busty as Mai, giving her a more buxom, yet still classy and dignified appearance, in stark contrast with the down-to-earth look of the short haired Mai and the almost childlike way Midori devoured her snacks, drowning them down with sips from a can of Ebisu beer. "Thanks, your words honor me, Tokiha-san," Tomoe Mami answered, with a hand on a cheek. "I do my best."

Mai looked all around, again drinking in the sights of the neatly arranged dining room, decorated in an old fashioned style better fitting a mature woman with outdated tastes. Even so, Mai herself had been forced to grow up before her time, and had few if any friends her own age, so the place seemed mostly charming and lovely to her. Judging from Midori's expression, she herself felt mostly discreet uneasiness in there, but after a few gulps of beer, that mattered little. She bopped the can on the table a few times before declaring aloud, "Alright! Now you've met each other, it's time to officially induct Tokiha Mai-chan into the Magical Girl Association of Earth!"

"Of Earth?" Mai took her eyes away from the pictures of a tiny young Mami with a couple Mai guessed had to be her parents, and looked at Midori's goofy crocodile smile instead.

The teacher shrugged. "There's at least one other world, didn'tcha know?" She pointed through the window, up at the crimson bathed Mars. Just looking at it again made Mai feel ill. "Why do you think you can see that red shroud? That's the gift of a Magical Girl. There's a whole world of magic and wonders up on Mars, a world even space probes built by mundanes can't see. Kyubey and the Wraiths come from there."

"R-Really?" Mai gasped, and then gasped harder upon realizing something else. "Oh God! But, but Akane-chan can see the Red Mars, too!"

"Who is Akane-chan?" asked Tomoe.

"Her roommate, our co-worker," Midori's face had suddenly gained a strained, serious edge in a complete U-turn. "Are you sure?"

Mai nodded very nervously.

After a moment of contemplation, Midori sighed deeply. "What are the odds? Three of us in the same workplace? I won't be shocked if Sekai-chan is one as well. Funny; so many months spent waiting for more and now ... well, it doesn't matter. That only means she has the capacity, the potential, but unless Kyubey approaches her with a Contract offer and she accepts it, it won't make a difference."

"Do you think he will?" Mai asked, concerned.

"It's... difficult to know," Mami admitted. "His actions are hard to predict, but unless there's another increase in the local Orphan activity, I doubt he'll try recruiting anyone else."

"So he gives powers to people so we can fight those monsters? Why doesn't he use the powers himself, then?" Mai wondered aloud.

"He can't access the powers himself. He's only the key to activate a Magical Girl's inner potential, through the Contract," Midori explained while scratching her nose. "The power was always yours, it's just you couldn't unlock it before."

"Okay," Mai said, deciding to play along. "So, who sends those monsters here, and why?"

"Every three hundred years, the Magical World set on Mars goes through a cataclysmic crisis, during which the Orphans pour down onto Earth through focal points of great magical activity," Midori kept on talking. "Mahora is one of those, and the World Tree is the biggest symbol of the link between the worlds at our grounds. Anyway, when that happens, women with connections to the source of all magic are chosen to fight the Orphans off until the balance between the worlds is restored."

Mai blinked. Then she looked warily at Mami. "Is that right, or has she drank too much?"

"Heeeyyy!" Midori protested.

Mami nodded. "She's completely right. But yes, she has drunk too much, as well."

"Mami!" Midori growled. "I've only had ..." She paused, as though trying to count silently, then shrugged, shook her head, and continued in the same tone. "... a few!"

The blonde gave her a subtly sly side glance. "Minors shouldn't drink at all, and you are still seventeen, aren't you?"

"I have a special license!" Midori lied. "Just like I have for teaching! Haven't we gone through this before?"

"Oh yes," Mami sighed. "So many, many, many times ..."

Despite herself, Mai smiled at the exchange. "Oh, you guys. Still, I'm not sure I'm ... ready to join you in this task yet."

"You mean 'willing'," Midori shot back.

"Perhaps," Mai allowed with a shrug.

"It's not as easy as just deciding to stay out of the way, Tokiha-san," Mami said politely. "Once you take the Contract, the Orphans will go directly after you, feeling your awakened powers, and perhaps fearing them. They feed on magical beings and those gifted with the power, although if they can't find them, they will devour anyone else who happens to be close. Do you see? As long as we allow the Orphans to wander around freely, no one in Mahora will be safe. Not even your brother, sadly."

Mai paled horribly. "B-But -! Isn't there anyone else who can -?"

"Oh, Mahora has several magical protectors besides us, yeah, and they do a good job at keeping most menaces away," Midori said. "But here's the thing, almost none of them can see or hear the Orphans. Only we can. For anyone else, the victims of the Orphans will look as mere victims of freak accidents, or mysterious illnesses, because Orphans most often devour the soul, rather than the body. So we're all that stands between them and everyone."

"That's ... that's horrible!" Mai gasped, a hand on her own throat. "I had no idea!"

"Yeah, Kyubey-kun tends to conveniently forget a few things to mention during recruiting," Midori nodded, and then smiled. "But it was worth it, in exchange for your wish, wasn't it?"

After a moment of wide eyed silence, Mai smiled back and nodded. "Yeah."

"Glad to hear so," Midori stood back up and dusted herself off. "Well then, let's finish this initiation ceremony with the part that is an actual ceremony," she belched. "Sorry! Anyway, Sister Mai, we're going through your rite of passage now! Your big entrance test!"

"You're going to hit me in the ass with wooden paddles?" Mai felt like snarking.

Midori smirked ferally. "No. We're going out to hunt!"

* * *

><p>"Not that I'm complaining," Mai said after pocketing her cellphone, her call to Takumi to warn him she'd be late home that night done. "But I had thought the life of a Mahou Shoujo would be ... somewhat more glamorous than this."<p>

She, Midori and Mami were trudging deep into the Mahora woods now, apparently heading Northwest, with Midori leading the march and singing _"I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake! Awake, alert, alive! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!"_ over and over, which was starting to plant scary thoughts of bloody murder in Mai's mind. Mami seemed to catch on that from Tokiha's expression and tried to calm her down with a maternal, caring explanation. Since Mami was likable in Mai's opinion, and she was bothering to explain things nicely while packing large muskets on special holders around her waist, Mai felt inclined to listen to her. She had learned the hard way to never argue with people carrying guns.

"Most Orphans tend to wander around the wilderness before getting really hungry and venture into campus proper, Tokiha-san," the blonde, now clad in an elegant and modest white Mahou Shoujo outfit that still managed to include a yellow micro-skirt, sexy black stockings and a bust-enhancing underbust corset. Midori's, by contrast, was a more functional looking ensemble of tight dark blue miniskirt and open jacket over a red tube top, plus, depressingly for Mai, a red scarf much like hers. In her hand, Midori held a threateningly huge labrys she swung around with nearly manic glee as she strode through the tall grass. On second thought, Mai realized, maybe she should have been more scared by that than by Mami's guns. The weaponry, I mean. "Scouting them out before they reach populated areas is part and parcel of our duty. Trust us, by exposing ourselves like sitting ducks and screeching like harpies in heat, we are luring them exactly where we want them."

Midori stopped both her pace and song. "Like harpies in heat!? I was trying my best here!"

A brief uncomfortable silence ensued.

_"I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake! Awake, alert, alive! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!"_ Mami began, and after a moment, Mai joined her, both acting as if they had never offended the unstable chronic liar with the gigantic edged weapon. Midori watched them walk past her, sighed, and joined them again.

Eleven minutes of going deeper into the wild and wearing Mai's patience thin, thankfully, an Orphan - looking like a giant dust bunny with ram horns and eight vicious looking spiderlike furry legs - jumped out of the bushes and attacked them.

"Ah! At last!" Midori quickly assumed a battle ready stance. "At my side, Mami-chan! Mai-chan, stay behind and supply cover fire, but only when necessary!" she commanded as she ducked and swung under a long, sharp claw of the creature that had just ambushed them. Then she thrust her weapon forward, and pierced the beast's flank, which provoked a deafening sound, a hideous combination of howl and shriek, issuing from what Mai assumed was its mouth. It only grew in pitch as Midori, grinning, pulled the labrys up, cutting a bloody path through the Orphan's body, and Mami took aim and shot several times at the Orphan's head, a gun in each hand. Mai's jaw loosened slightly.

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, or rather, where she was supposed to shoot her flames. Midori and Mami moved very fast around the Orphan, in circles, striking at it with surgical precision. They ran with an agility Mai wouldn't have suspected from either of them, and they seemed perfectly synchronized in their respective actions; while Midori used her bladed weapon's length to stay out of the reach of those slashing claws while still cutting the bloated dark body efficiently, Mami, keeping roughly the same distance but from an opposite angle, kept shooting at the head and what almost looked like the beast's neck. Soon, she shot one of its horns off, and then an eye, spraying gore everywhere.

Mai was still rattled by that when Midori took it one step further, bisecting the Orphan's body with a deeper, more daring slash. Both cut halves still kept moving around madly, trying to regain their footing for a counterattack, but the two veteran Magical Girls had closed in, hacking and shooting like possessed women now, not giving it a moment of rest or chance. The carnage made horrible noises that made Mai's skin crawl, all made worse by the concentrated, half detached, half excited expressions on the faces of the others. Tokiha backed two steps away and breathed in and out until the two veterans stopped all of a sudden, backing away as well.

And then the Orphan dissipated into nothingness, much like the one Mai herself had killed off earlier that week.

Mami and Midori took a few moments to catch their breathing back before looking at each other and smiling softly, their former expressions replaced by the smooth satisfaction of a well done job. Only then, they looked back at Mai.

Snapping back to reality, Tokiha gasped loudly and stuttered a hurried up, "S-Sorry, I couldn't find an opening, I was afraid I'd hit you, I couldn't be of any-"

Midori waved a hand at her. "Whatcha talking about? You did exactly as asked! Your help wasn't necessary yet, so you didn't rush in like some vulgar Leeroy Jenkins. That's good. Great, actually. It's better to have a disciplined soldier who can take orders rather than a psycho nutcase to endanger the operations, right, Mami-chan?"

"What's a Leeroy Jenkins?" a confused Mami asked.

Midori sighed. "We really gotta get you an Internet connection. It's all okay, Mai-chan! It's your first night in patrol, so no one's expecting you to save the day just yet. Just stand back, watch and learn for now."

"You ..." Mai said. "You ... that thing never stood a chance ..."

"Cool, huh?" Midori smirked again. "This is the result of a lot of practice and experience. Soon, you'll be as great at it as us!"

Mai was rather frightened by that statement itself, but she distracted herself successfully from thinking too much of it by asking, "How long have you been ... doing this, anyway?"

Midori took a more serious look again. "Oh, that. Me, for the last nine months, take or give a few weeks. Mami-chan, well ..."

"Five years," Mami said softly, now looking away into the night, the small hat included with her uniform obscuring her face from that perspective.

"Five? B-But then, you were-" Mai babbled.

"Yes. I was." She nodded.

"W-what was Kyubey thinking, offering you a contract for something this... dangerous at such an age!?" Mai exclaimed.

"Heh," Mami said. "It's fine, Tokiha-san. I'd have died back then if not for him, anyway. At worst, I'm living on a wonderful borrowed time, with the chance of meeting wonderful friends like you, friends I'd never have met if not because of the Contract..."

Mai almost felt like pointing out she shouldn't be so hasty to consider her a 'wonderful friend' just yet, since she didn't even really know her at all, but the heartfelt, oddly melancholy tone in Mami's voice discouraged her. She still liked the girl, even if she was such a fearsome warrior underneath it all. She just seemed to be a sweet kid forced to grow up before her time, forced to fight for her life. While Mai... was a brother-fucker.

Even Sugiura-sensei, crazy as she was, was much better than that.

Then, pulling her from her grim thoughts, Midori was saying, "There she was again."

"Huh?" Mai said, following her gaze and Mami's towards a line of willows, not finding anything of any note there. "What do you mean?"

"She's gone already. She's that fast," Midori replied. "Akemi Homura-chan, one of the two outsiders. She often stalks us while we're hunting, and it stood to reason she'd be extra-interested tonight, when we have a new member. Pity; I was hoping this finally would move her to come closer... Not that we were using you as bait for her!" she quickly amended.

"Right," Mai said, not bothering to care about that either way. "So, why does she do that?"

"We don't know," Mami answered.

"Haven't you ever tried asking her?"

"Of course we did!" Midori huffed. "It's like trying to strike up a conversation with a brick wall, except that the wall at least has the decency of not turning around and leaving after not answering."

Mami nodded. "A complex and unreadable individual. Sadly, those who don't want to be helped cannot be helped. Maybe someday ..."

After a long moment of shared silence, Midori said, "So, Mai-chan, care to start a campfire for us? Orphans rarely show up twice a night, so we might as well just celebrate."

"I'm going home now," Mai said with an air of unshakable finality.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	3. Lesson Two

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Two<strong>.

* * *

><p>That night, two stories above Mai's quarters, Arika Entheofushia slipped off of the couch silently and checked on the sleeping children and ermine. Once she was sure they wouldn't wake up anytime soon, she headed for the phone. She checked a number on the list Chisame had left for her and made the call.<p>

As expected, it took her a while to be answered, but she was patient. The voice at the other end of the line was sleepy and tired. "Hmm, hello? Hasegawa Sora here. Who is it, at this time?" And there was a small yawn.

"It's me," Arika said, in a tone that demanded instant recognition. "I require a meeting with you as soon as possible. It is about Chisame. I demand to know exactly how much do you really know about her. And about your mother."

* * *

><p><em>Fifteen Years Ago:<em>

The tiny girl with glasses sat before her baby brother, drawing a pretty picture of their family for him. There was their mother, who was so angelic and beautiful, even in the girl's self-admitted cruddy and clumsy style. There was their mother's best friend, who was just as blond and pretty as her, and always came to visit in that huge, elegant car. There were the girl herself, Sora, and her dear little brother, who unlike her, had their mother's gorgeous golden hair. And there was ... Sora had started drawing Dad, but she had forgotten most of his face by now, so instead she had drawn Nagi-san in his place, because he was like their new Dad anyway, and he always was so funny and nice to them.

Once she thought it was done well enough to count as finished, she showed the crayon picture to the toddler sitting on the grass before her, in their house's front yard, under her favorite tree. "Here, Kodaka-kun! I-I know I'm not that good, but I think Mom will like it, right? I think I'll give it to Mom for her birthday. It's not much, but -"

Then the house's front door flew open, and out walked the gorgeous blonde best friend, wiping her wet eyes with a tissue that cost more than all of Sora's clothes put together, pausing for only a moment to look at the children, before walking away even faster towards her awesome car. (Awesome enough that its subconscious memory, always in the back of Sora's mind, was a major influence on her future hobbies.) A moment later, out walked Nagi-san, and for the first time since Sora had met him, shortly after Dad left, he looked sad, defeated, even. He took a moment to caress Kodaka's scalp, then hug Sora tenderly, whispering a heartfelt, "I'm sorry, kiddo. So very sorry. Look... just look after your Mommy and your little siblings for us, will you?"

"Ah?" Sora was precocious enough to know what 'siblings' meant, but she was sure that she had only one brother. Before she could ask Nagi-san about it, however, he was gone as well, leaving them alone with their mother, who'd stumbled out for the entrance, rubbing her reddened eyes even harder than her friend had been. Her firstborn looked up at her. "Mommy? What's happening with Nagi-san and -?"

"They won't be coming back, Sora-chan," her mother sadly said, even sadder than Nagi-san, with the air of a person who'd had the life blown out of her. "But, but it's okay. Because your Daddy ... your Daddy will be coming back, and soon you'll have a new brother or sister."

"Really?" Sora blinked. "But, but Mom! Why can't they all be here at the same time? Is it because the house isn't big enough?"

"Yes. In a way, that's exactly it," her mother sighed, kneeling down before them, as Kodaka drooled and began chewing on Sora's drawing. "But don't be sad, Sora-chan. You remember all those nice magic tricks Nagi made for you, right? Well, he managed to teach me at least one. Do ... do you want to see it?"

Sora's eyes lit up despite everything. "Oh! Oh, yes, Mommy! But why can't Nagi-san himself -"

"Shhhh. Now, Sora-chan, I want you to think of Nagi and your auntie Minako, and nothing else, until I'm done with this. Will you do that for Mommy?" With more sweetness and tenderness than was her norm, her mother placed her hands on Sora's temples, and began chanting very low and quietly under her breath. Her daughter only could make out the final few words, _"... and make these memories disappear, as if they never were."_

And them she couldn't even understand those, because she had completely forgotten the whole issue of the spell. And Auntie Minako and Nagi-san, for that matter. She felt rather tired, and she slumped forward into her mother's waiting arms, drifting into sweet unconsciousness as her mother wept bitterly.

After placing Sora in her bed, Hasegawa Airi yanked the drawing out of her son's hands, and then ripped it to shreds while screaming her long repressed anger.

* * *

><p><em>Now:<em>

Hasegawa Sora sat very quiet and silent on the couch of her living room, or to be more precise, the living room of the quarters she shared with her roommate. Her hands had tightened into white-knuckled fists placed squarely on her knees, and copious streams of tears had begun running down from her eyes, bathing her freckled cheeks.

Arika Anarchia Entheofushia pulled her hands back from Sora's temples. "From your reaction," she said, even but not without sympathy and warmth, "I suppose it has worked, after all. My apologies if I have caused you pain. I'm actually surprised - in the event your memories actually had been altered, I would have thought not even Royal Magic could cancel a spell from Nagi -"

She sobbed, shaking her head. "Not Nagi-san. My ... it was my mother who ... who did it! Who erased my memories of him, and, and of Yuikihiro-san! Why? Why would she do such a thing?"

Firm but soft hands were placed on her shoulders. "If you have indeed regained all your memories, your answer should be self-evident. Nagi, your mother and Ayaka-san's mother could not sustain their affair any longer. Yukihiro-san couldn't break up her marriage, and Nagi had to return to Mundus Magicus. Obviously, he couldn't take any of you with him. It didn't work out. Sometimes, it happens. But we can spare your sister and my son from such a tragic -"

Sora gasped. "Oh my God! That's, that's right!" Her hands clawed at her knees as realization washed over her. "That, that means Chisame is, is, she's Negi-sensei's -!" She covered her mouth with both hands. "Oh dear Heavens, that's just horrible, it can't be, and they've even ... kissed!"

"It goes further than that," Arika added. "They have feelings of love for each other."

Sora gave her a disbelieving look. "What?"

"Is not that noticeable enough?" the strange woman they had rescued from Mundus Magicus asked the college student. "They would do anything for each other. Their ties are tighter than Negi's bonds with any other of his Ministra. And he has been the only one who could pull her out of her shell."

Sora's teeth clattered. "That, that's ridiculous! I mean, no disrespect, but they're still only children! Oh dear, but still, it must stopped, they must be told, in the event they, over time, actually did start to -"

"What would be so unspeakably hideous about them 'starting to'?" Arika asked, still completely composed.

Sora's stare grew even more bewildered, making her look nearly deranged. "H-H-Hime-sama, please! This isn't a moment or situation to joke about! Poor Chisame... poor Kodaka and Kobato-chan, even! And, and of course, poor Negi-sensei!"

"If you are of their opinion their ties couldn't be romantic in nature, why do you seem so devastated about their relationship?" Arika asked.

"I don't know! I don't know anymore! I don't know anything!" Sora panicked, standing up and walking across the room with both hands on her head. "As usual, I'm useless to help my siblings! Knowing this will ruin Chisame's life, I'm sure, but if she doesn't learn -!"

"That would be unethical, as well," Arika said. "Every person has a right to know their true origins, even if they happen to be painful."

"But my sister can't take pain!" Sora shrieked, pacing around madly. Arika began to consider slapping her to end her hysterics. "That will destroy all the progress she's achieved! She'll become a hikikomori with an eternal frown while all her friends become successful career women, and I'll have failed her, and Kodaka will become a delinquent for real, and Kobato-chan will start cutting herself, and I can't deal with any of this!"

"I may start slapping you directly," Arika gave fair warning.

The serious even if understated threat of physical pain seemed to tame Sora's outburst to some degree. She stopped near the window, staring outside, at the twilight sun. "What am I supposed to do? I can't change the past!"

"Of course you cannot. No one can."

Sora began banging her own head against the window. "Thank you, Princess Obvious! That's such a great help!"

"See? Your own pain is honing you as a woman. This is the first time you've dared to talk back to me. So too will Chisame become a stronger woman through her own trials and tribulations."

Sora muttered something unusually deep and bitter before exploding, "But I don't want her to have trials and tribulations! I only want for her to be happy! You, you should be just as worried about Negi-sensei!"

"I am. But I know that he will, after some theatrics and despair, overcome it after I tell him to. Because he is a born and bred fighter, and so is Chisame, actually. You have done a better job at raising her than you are willing to admit."

Sora sniffled, still not looking back at her. "Thank you. Are my eyes too red? Because that's Mishima-sempai heading here, and I think, I think we'll have to continue this conversation later."

Arika looked over Sora's shoulder, first at her eyes. "Yes, they are." She glanced then at the small pathway leading to the house, and the elegant, fair skinned beauty with glamorous clothes and jewelry and long silky black hair striding towards the door with a regal air around her. "Is that your housemate?"

Sora nodded as she adjusted her glasses. "Y-Yeah. Just, just just act natural, o-okay? I'll, I'll handle the introductions."

"Oh, I will try," Arika said with so much aplomb Sora was sure she had to be mocking her disturbed behavior. But there was no further time to dwell on that, as the door flew open.

"W-W-Welcome, Sayoko-sempai!" Sora bowed. "Um, sorry to bring in guests without consulting you first, but this here is, is Chisame's homeroom teacher's mother!"

"Arika Springfield. My pleasure." The blonde bowed formally.

"Ah, ah yes, and this, this is Mishima Sayoko-sempai, my, my roommate as long as I'm here, and she's been always ... helpful to me, and -"

As Sora kept on stuttering, Mishima Sayoko answered the unexpected visitor's bow with a quick one of her own, looked as if she was about to say something to her, and then settled for glancing at Sora instead, and asking her a disinterested, "Have you been crying?"

_As if my afternoon hasn't been bad enough until this point_, Sora decided.

* * *

><p><em>Next Afternoon, Late in the Day:<em>

"Toshiyuki? It's me, Sayoko. I wanted to know if you were -" Mishima Sayoko, stunning as ever in a practical yet feminine suit and Gucci shoes, sat at the center of the bar, with several male gazes fixed on her as usual; also as usual, she ignored them. Instead, her mouth curved down as she heard the all-but laughing reply from the other end of her cellphone call. "Oh. Yes, of course you would. Me? Oh, no, you know how it is. It's not like I can't, don't be ridiculous, it's just this place doesn't offer too many worthwhile options. Oh, you're such a jerk!" she scoffed.

He broke into a full laugh now. "Oh, come on, Sayoko! Be honest for once, will you? What was it this time? Morisato, right? Once again, he chose to spend his night at that filthy workshop rather than taking your hints. Yeah, I'd bet that's it. Honestly, dear, whatever happened to aiming high?"

"Let's talk again when you have bedded that bitch Belldandy, okay?!" she screeched before killing the call, and huffed as she saw several of her silent admirers looking aside, their expressions turning to disgust. The idiots.

It had been that way ever since that cold gray morning, five months ago, when Sayoko had, as she always did, strode majestically through the college area, calmly enjoying the admiration from her peers and ... well, actually, it wasn't like she had peers, it was just a benevolent term she used to refer to those who happened to study with her, or in the semesters under her. Sometimes, just because she was nice enough to do so, she would look back at them, with the calculated smile and seductive eyes of a movie star, and she would attempt to scout for someone who might be worth her time, at least for a few good escapades. Day after day, no one would meet her requirements, which grew frustrating quickly. But at the very least, they were good obedient sheep, and no one would ever deny her a favor, a vote, anything. She was the Campus Queen, with a degree of devotion from her subjects even the likes of Fujino Shizuru in the junior levels would have found stunning. They were just children, after all.

But that morning, that good old constant changed when she first laid her eyes on her. And worse, so did everyone else.

The intruder came along with a boy Sayoko took a while to remember as Morisato Keiichi, some penniless loser she had quickly turned down the year before, without a second thought. At first, everyone, Sayoko included, believed the young woman with him had to be some sort of distant relative, because it was impossible to believe such a refined, exotic European beauty could be directly related to the short, unremarkable, scrawny Morisato. Thinking she could be his friend or girlfriend would have been even more outrageous.

The girl did have something in common with Morisato, though; her annoying doormat attitude, her exaggerated niceness, her exasperating helpfulness that obviously had to be just part of a sheepish facade to steal the campus away from Sayoko. (Obviously! Yet it was staggering how many men missed that evident detail, Aoshima Toshiyuki included!) The worst part was, so far, it was working. That morning, for the first time, Sayoko had felt the male gazes drifting, unanimously, from her towards that meekly talking, slowly walking foreigner, who, to boot, had the gall to act as if she wasn't aware of them. Who did she think she was fooling? Even Morisato, that witless pawn, was noticing it!

Sayoko wouldn't surrender her premier position without a fight, however. She had tried everything in her arsenal of wiles and called-in favors to discredit Belldandy, and when that failed, she tried to hit her where it would hurt, by stealing Morisato away from her. She had figured that would be easy, given the boy's former crush on her, but much to her shock, he hadn't responded the same way to her anymore. It still was a work in progress, of course, but so far, nothing had worked when it came to seducing that idiot. He was loyal to a fault, Sayoko had to give him that. If only she could somehow get herself a man with that degree of faithfulness! The elites, nice as they were, had that annoying decadent habit of being so ... unfocused. Every time she had tried hooking up with a man of her own social level, he'd ended up betraying her (HER!) with some bimbo or another. Their loss! One day, she would get herself the perfect man she deserved.

A man not even Belldandy could take from her.

Lazily, Sayoko looked at her glass of liquor, moving it in slow circles. "Another," she grunted for the waiter as he passed nearby, and that quickly got her a refill.

Sayoko drank, closed her eyes, and thought once again of Morisato, that frustrating twerp. Morisato was in the same Motor Club as Sayoko's slow-witted roommate Sora, and through swift manipulation of the insecure Hasegawa, Sayoko had gathered some important information on Morisato and Belldandy. Apparently, Belldandy's younger sister studied under the same teacher as Sora's, and their older sister, that skank with no class who had dared to ridicule Sayoko in that year's Mahorafest Beauty Contest, had moved into an apartment of the new Lexcorp Tower. Those were expensive apartments, and to pay for one, those three bitches had to have some heavy financial backup. The thing was, none of Sayoko's elite contacts, or any of her father's associates, knew anything on their family. That was very odd. Maybe their family was involved in illegal businesses, and if Sayoko could expose that...

She chuckled dumbly to herself, letting out a soft hiccup and gesturing to the waiter for another refill.

Then she wondered when could she go back home. Not like she cared about Sora's reunion with her stupid kid sister, which they had thrown at her quite rudely, only yesterday. And it certainly wasn't like she cared, either, about that Springfield woman who had dared to request that Sayoko eave the sisters alone that evening. Who did she think she was, anyway, to make those kind of demands to Sayoko? It was HER home, and she didn't even know HER!

And yet, there was something so strangely imperative and commanding in that woman's soft and polite tone, and so Sayoko was here now, out in town, drinking her sorrows down instead of relaxing at home and ... well, not enjoying Hasegawa's company, exactly, but ...

"Ah, what the hell," she mumbled, pouring herself another glass. Drinking alone was no fun. Stupid Aoshima, rejecting her company just to screw one of his boytoys from his Polo Club. Again. Who did he think he was, even if he was her cousin? He wasn't even that good a fuck.

"Is this seat taken?" a voice asked from the other end of the table. Sayoko looked at the woman who had appeared before her, a dark skinned bombshell in short, tight black leather, with white hair that, while far spikier and messier than that of Belldandy's older sister, still struck enough of a resemblance to make Sayoko instantly dislike her. But, once again, drinking alone was a bore.

"Nope," Sayoko grunted, and the other woman sat down without a second thought.

"I'll take the same poison she's drinking," the stranger told the waiter before pulling a cigarette out and beginning to smoke it. "How do you do? Mishima Sayoko, right?"

"Who wants to know?" Sayoko slurred angrily.

"Tch. Bizen Sayoko, an employee of your father's Mahora branch. At least 'til this morning. Got myself into an ugly bind with a bitch working for the Vice Prez of Public Relations."

"How so?" an uninterested Mishima muttered.

"I made Public their Relations."

"And that concerns me, because?"

The woman leaned ahead, and whispered into Mishima's ear_, "They are leaking confidential info to Naba Tetsuo."_

Mishima's eyes widened.

* * *

><p>"Okay. What is so important that you had to call me here to discuss it face to face?" asked Hasegawa Chisame patiently - well, as patiently as she ever got - as sat before her older sister in the latter's living room. Sora's wide array of strange quirks included a serious lack of self-reliance, and it was fairly common for her to call on Chisame and Kodaka for help whenever the burdens proved too much of a weight for her. Those problems were often small and relatively trivial, but Sora tended to blow them out of proportion. Normally, she went to Kodaka, though. The stern faces Chisame made in situations like this, just like the one she had on now, usually were enough to discourage the eldest Hasegawa sibling from bothering her.<p>

Clearly having second thoughts, Sora's fingers tapped nonstop on the sides of her cup of tea. "It's ... it's very hard to explain, actually. Um ... maybe, maybe we should talk about this some other day ..."

"Hell no!" Chisame barked. "You didn't make me walk clear across campus just to send me back now! Come on, you should be more open than this by now, after all we've gone through lately!"

Sora whimpered weakly, her eyes still fixed on her cooling untouched tea. "B-But I'm sure you won't like it ..."

"You're pregnant?"

"Wha- NOOOOOO!"

"You've been diagnosed with a terminal illness?"

"Chisame! NO!"

"Okay, it can't be an omen of doomsday either, or you'd have called for an Ala Alba meeting. So now all the big deals have been discarded, and you've noticed, no doubt, that whatever is troubling you can't be so bad. So tell me so we can finish this quickly, for your own sake, right?"

Sora sniffled. "You, you have no idea what are you talking about. If you only knew, you wouldn't be treating it so lightly."

"Fine, so tell me already!" Chisame grew impatient. More impatient. "Stop dancing around the subject, if it's really that important!"

Sora sighed with an unfathomable air of suffering, then asked, "Chisame, you going to have to be strong. Yes, I know you're strong, far stronger than me, but this, this will affect you even more closely than me. Arika-sama and I have discussed it, though, and we've decided you and Negi need to know -"

Chisame blinked. "Arika-sama? Oh, is this about... Negi's... ahhhhh ..."

"Huh?" Sora babbled, "Oh, oh, you mean how ... he's growing." Now she thought about it, Arika-sama had mentioned something about that, too, but Sora hadn't paid it too much attention, obsessed as she was with Chisame's suffering. "Actually, no, Chisame. But it's about him, as well."

She didn't realize she had fallen silent for so long until she heard Chisame tapping a foot and saying, "I'm waiting!"

Sora swallowed the suffocating knot in her throat. "Chisame, are you aware our parents had a period, after Kodaka's birth, when they separated?"

"Right. I was conceived when they reconciled, I know. So?"

Her sister shook her head reluctantly, sniffling again. "N-no. You had already been conceived by the time Father came back."

Chisame's jaw loosened, and her face went pale. That was before she actually understood what she had just been told, and then her jaw further loosened, and her face grew even paler.

"I-I-I think it was very classy of Father, and shows how much he cared for Mother after all," Sora strayed off her topic nervously, her voice barely understandable in tone and delivery. "It makes me see him in a new light, because all things considered, he's actually been a good father, hasn't he, Chisa-"

Her sister grabbed her by the lapels of her jacket and shouted into her face. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! What the hell is this nonsense?! Talk clearly for once, damn you!"

Sora closed her eyes and sobbed pathetically. "Forgive your worthless sister, please! I had forgotten all about it until yesterday! Kodaka-kun and Kobato-chan don't know either! And, and I'm sure Father never told you only to protect you, and because he loves you, and -!"

Chisame began shaking her, with a surprising amount of strength. "Are you trying to tell me I'm another man's child? Is that it? Damn it, Sora! Don't treat me like a fucking idiot! Just say 'yes' or 'no'!"

"... yes."

Chisame let go of her immediately, recoiling and opening her eyes as wide as they could go. After a few moments of trying to find her voice, the younger girl managed to crack a dry, choked, "Th-Then who -?"

Sora took her glasses off, buried her eyes on a tissue, and whined the two words out in a barely audible tone. "Nagi Springfield."

Chisame backed even further away from her. "No. No no no! No! No, it can't be, it's just too ridiculous a coincidence!"

"Back then ... back then, Nagi-sama was, apparently, doing odd jobs for the Headmaster, visiting him frequently. From what I gather, it was ... around the time he dropped Evangeline-sama here." Sora chewed on her tear stained tissue, avoiding eye contact with Chisame. "He, Mother and Yukihiro-san's mother, who was having a marriage crisis of her own, grew very close ... They were all but living t-together, as a matter of fact ... I don't know for sure, but maybe Yukihiro-san is also -"

"I'm telling you it can't be!" Chisame roared. "That's absurd! I can't, I can't be Negi's sister! We, we don't even look alike, and we're so different, and, and -!"

_"You love him,"_ Sora whispered, in a crushed, despairing way.

Chisame gave her a look of pure horror. "What? What, what, what. No, n-no, of course not! That's, that's even dumber, he's still only a kid, and a brat, and, and he's my brother, no, he isn't, but still, I couldn't possibly, and he'll probably just end up with Murakami anyway, or even Kakizaki, and -!"

Sora gave her a tearful glare in return. "Are... are you being honest about this? Because, because then there'd be no problems. We can adjust, be a somewhat normal family, since you only think of him like a brother anyway." She sounded hopeful for the first time in two days, hopeful her instincts had failed her again, that she had, once more, misread Chisame. She swallowed and continued. "We can, if you want, run some blood tests, maybe with Satomi-san, and see if you're truly related after all, and if you're not, no loss, and if you are, well, that's great, because now we have another brother, and Kodaka-kun and Kobato-chan wouldn't mind, I'm sure, and -"

It was that light of hope and promise in her sister's gentle, nervous voice that actually broke Chisame. Before either of them realized what was happening, Chisame's right hand had slapped Sora across the face, and then the younger girl had turned around, running for the door.

After a single moment of shock and holding her struck cheek, Sora got up clumsily and raced after her. "Chisame! Wait!"

She stumbled on the doorstep and made a pratfall on the floor, face first, allowing Chisame a wide lead. Going much faster than she could have at the start of the year, Chisame ran like wind, screaming incoherently, tossing something aside and almost running over the incoming Mishima and her dark skinned new friend as she left the college female residence behind.

"Wha - HEY!" Mishima, inebriated and indignant, shook a fist at the quickly retreating girl, supporting herself on the dark skinned woman. "Look wh're yuh goin', yuh, yuh ... Hasegawa!"

A moment later, Sora, livid and pale, stopped next to them, babbling Chisame's name over and over to herself.

"Hey, Hasegawa-kun," Mishima slurred. "What's possessed yer sishster anyway? Dis here is my new pal Bizen Sayoko, ain't it a hoot, how we have th' shame name, anyway, I'll be hidin' her f'r a while, so -"

Sora's trembling hands had picked up the thing Chisame had tossed. She held it close to her face, crying copiously. "Chisame-chan!"

Mishima, frowning, took a peek over Sora's shoulder, at the weird card that showed Sora's sister wearing a fancy pink dress and striking a happy and peppy pose. "HEY! Don't ignore me over dat dumb thing! I'm tellin' you, I'm goin' to -"

Absently, with a fierce growl, Sora punched her in the face. Sayoko fell, with a final hiccup, unconscious into the other Sayoko's arms.

The dark skinned woman smiled. "I think I'm going to like you, kid."

Ignoring her, Sora had fallen to her knees as she cried.

And the gray sky began crying with her.

* * *

><p>"What's taking Chisame so long?" Satomi asked over dinner, looking at the clock on their wall.<p>

"Sora-neesan called her before you arrived, and said she had something very important to tell her," Negi answered, looking oddly distant for some reason. "So they are having a talk over at her place."

"Oh. So Sora-san needs emotional support once more?" Satomi said before taking another mouthful of Arika's western-styled meal.

"Most likely," Chamo said, taking a sip from his tiny cup of sake. "Ah, poor, poor Nee-chan. Do you know what I think she needs?"

"I can well imagine it," Arika said coldly. "But no, actually, that was something they really did have to discuss in private. And as a matter of fact, we should be discussing it as well. Hakase-san, you are Chisame's best friend, and Chamomile, you... will doubtless learn it sooner or later either way, so there is no point in delaying that development."

Negi, Chamo and Hakase all perked up in mild alarm. "What do you mean, Mother?" the boy mage asked.

"Thinking back on it," Arika mused aloud, "I should perhaps have told you this two nights ago, but... I was sure you had been told more than enough for a single night, and I didn't wish to overwhelm you. But I still regret that omission. I feel that, to some degree, I have kept things from you longer than needed, perhaps out of fear of your reaction. In that regard, I am probably acting just like Konoemon or Eishun."

Chamo blinked. "Huh? What did you told him two nights ago?"

Negi grew red and began heating up under his collar.

"Several things, none of them requiring further discussion for the time being," Arika replied easily. "For now, I consider it more important for all three of you - especially you, Negi - to learn a vital piece of information involving you and Chisame."

"Ah? I don't understand," Negi confessed.

"To place this in context, I should inform you your father and I met many of the parents of Class 3-A's students, at several different points of time. This is no coincidence, at least not in most cases; even leaving the obvious issue of Konoka-san and Eishun, Konoemon has seen fit to keep watch over several daughters of important people, generally for good reason," his mother told him.

Satomi nodded. "Of course. Tatsumiya-san, Asuna-san, Evangeline, Konoka-san, Rainyday-san... even by Mahora standards, our class has a much higher than usual percentage of paranormals and metahumans."

And Arika nodded. "Indeed. And I am convinced the force of Destiny itself pulled Negi here, to be with you. Under these circumstances, I ask you to consider this information, not as a tragic turn of the Hand of Fate, but as a blessed opportunity disguised beneath an appearance some might find... inconvenient."

"Mother, you're scaring me!" gasped the boy who had looked death in the eye several times without flinching.

"Don't be afraid," the woman told him sternly. "You are made of far sturdier material than most men thrice your age. In some ways, you are braver than your father, who often simply didn't understand or notice danger, or was overly confident in his abilities."

"Ahhhh," the ermine said, a bit shyly, "far be it from me to pressure you into rushing matters, Hime-sama, but I think these preludes are only making Aniki here even more uncomfortable and nervous."

Arika gave the animal a mildly disdainful look. "Do you truly think so?"

"Of course I do! I know him better than anyone but Nekane-neechan! Um, no offense, maybe I could have phrased that better."

"Chamo!" Negi sighed.

"Yes. Yes, you could," Arika flatly replied. "Very well. There is, in any case, some truth to the notion that harsh sounding truths are easier to assimilate when supplied in a quick and direct way. Negi, your father was sexually involved with the mother of Chisame and Sora-san, so Chisame is, as a matter of fact, your older sister."

Silence fell on the table like a Ten-Ton weight, and for several moments, there was no motion at all in the dining room, other than Satomi's braids standing straight up at right angles to her neck.

"What," Chamo said at last. It was no question or query, but a simple, automatic sound his mind had just released while working to rework its synapses.

Completely ignoring him, Arika calmly cradled her son against herself, and softly told him, "Being brave doesn't mean you cannot express grief or sorrow. So, while I trust you to come to terms with this eventually, right now, you can cry as much as your heart desires."

So he did.

Satomi quietly set her plate aside. "I... I believe my appetite has just been spoiled."

* * *

><p>Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell, the Terror that Walks in the Form of a Child, the golden haired Queen of the Night, the eternal Daywalker, rested on her right side in the games room of her cabin in the woods, wearing only a lacy negligee and panties - which left her overdressed for her usual gaming night. Completely oblivious to the storm now raging outside, she was completely engrossed in her latest session of <em>Mortal Kombat Retribution<em>.

Karakuri Chachamaru, a gentle looking beauty with long light green hair, claid in a French maid outfit, swept the living room in dutiful silence, until her audio sensors caught on the sounds of feet dragging through the wet grass, coming closer to the cottage. Without a second thought, Chachamaru set her broom aside and readied her basic defense systems. While attacks on the cabin were a so far unprecedented occurrence, it was illogical for any of their allies and friends to approach during the heavy rainstorm without calling first.

As the gynoid moved closer to the door, however, her scanners picked up the well known bio patterns of her classmate Hasegawa Chisame - though her heartbeat was dangerously faster, and her breathing worryingly more erratic, than normal. There was no one else with her. Instantly dropping her defense protocols, Chachamaru all but flew for the door and tossed it open, just as a sopping wet Chisame, with red eyes and a ponytail as disarranged as the skewed glasses on her face, stumbled to fall on her knees and hands before the robot's feet. "Hasegawa-san! What has happened?"

Chisame sobbed angrily for a moment, inhaled deeply, and lowered her face before uttering, "Call Evangeline. Tell her I want her to suck me dry. She won't need Negi anymore."

The gynoid helped the trembling, evidently unstable girl back to her feet. Chisame wasn't cooperating, actually, but with Chachamaru's strength, that wasn't any problem on itself, and she was lifted as easily as a kitten. Chachamaru found she would have to keep supporting her weight, however, since Chisame looked like she wouldn't even try to stand on her own anymore, making a long string of pitiful snorting and wheezing sounds that sounded like stubborn attempts to keep further crying at bay. "Hasegawa-san, are you hallucinating?" Chachamaru touched their foreheads together, reading her body temperature and finding it still adequate. "You don't seem to be sick, but -"

"The world is sick!" Chisame yelled, closing her eyes. "And I'm tired of it all! I can't take it anymore! I don't have to! Where's Evangeline? I have what she needs right here! Let's finish this now!"

"Hasegawa-san, you aren't acting rationally. Did something happen to Negi-sensei? To Mother? One of your siblings?" Chachamaru tried to held her steady but gently. "We can't help you if we don't know -"

"Nobody can help me!" Chisame yelled some more. "I'm beyond any help! The only thing you can do for me is ... is killing me already! Evangeline! Evangeline! Come here, you bloodsucking freak of nature!"

Chachamaru hissed urgently to try and silence her. "Please, Hasegawa-san! You shouldn't offend Master! What's gotten into you?"

"A damn good question, that." Evangeline appeared on the doorstep between the rooms, scowling as much as she could, which, in her ten year old looking slim body, only made her look cute rather than fearsome. Her voice, however, was another matter entirely. "If you want to tempting death tonight, Hasegawa, you are certainly off to a good start. Explain yourself, now!"

Chisame bared her neck. "My blood! Take it all!"

Evangeline scoffed dryly, while Chachamaru looked genuinely confused. "Playing cheap pranks has never been one of your many flaws, so I assume you have just lost your mind," the vampire witch said. "It had to happen someday, I knew, but I still thought you'd last somewhat longer. Well, it's like I always say, you never can underestimate a teenager."

Chisame sputtered something completely nonsensical and heartfelt as she slumped her head down in defeat. Finally, she managed to softly utter, "That's right. Mock me. Taunt me. I deserve it. I can't feel it anymore, anyway. Just ... just suck all my blood after you're done. That's all I'm asking."

Chachamaru pleaded, "Please, Master, be considerate with her. She's clearly in great distress."

"Seriously? Why, thank you for pointing it out, Chachamaru. I don't know what would I ever do without your stunning talent to state the obvious for my benefit," Mc Dowell said, before Chachamaru's respectful but still blunt as hell stare somehow moved her to reluctantly continue. "Oh, you and your mania for picking up sick strays. I have to talk with Hakase about that ... and other things. Strip that pitiful woman and get her into a hot bath before she catches her death of cold. Maybe she'll explain herself properly after that."

"Thank you, Master." Chachamaru bowed her head as Evangeline walked away, and then she helped the almost lifeless Chisame to the bathroom with herself, settling her against a wall before filling the wide tub and heating it up. Chisame slumped down to the floor on her butt, sobbing weakly, and a concerned Chachamaru moved next to her, speaking very kindly as she took the human's wet clothes off, surprisingly not finding any resistance. "Why are you doing this? Hasegawa-san, if you don't answer, I'll have to call Negi-sensei and ask him myself."

"No!" Chisame gasped. "Anything but that! I-I don't want to look at him anymore!"

"Did you two fight? I'm sure you can talk it over, as happened on Iinchou-san's island."

Chisame shook her head. "No ... it's nothing like that. It's ... it's much, much worse," she muttered as her brassiere was lifted off her body, and the air felt very cold on her bare medium sized breasts. "I don't want to talk about it, least of all with Negi ..."

"It can't be that you have done anything to hurt him," Chachamaru observed quietly as she used Chisame's sloppy sitting posture to slip the panties down her hips and legs. _"... have you?"_ she added, in a tone that had suddenly gained a hint of a dangerous edge.

It would have been easy to lie and let Chachamaru to pummel her to the results Chisame desired, but she still clung to her particular sense of honesty. "No, it's not that either. At least, not deliberately."

Chachamaru made a sound that almost was a sigh, standing back up. "Very well," she said, starting to undress herself. "I will trust you, as you have always had Sensei's best interests in mind, even back when I was your enemy. If you say you haven't done anything malicious against him, I will believe you. However, you seem to be under the impression you will hurt him regardless."

Chisame could only nod.

A fully nude Chachamaru stood before her then. It was amazing, even now, to see how realistic her artificial body was now, Chisame found herself thinking fleetingly. Despite anything else that could be said about her, Hakase was a genuine genius at engineering realistic simulated life. And beyond that. Chachamaru was, for all obvious intents and purposes, a functional human being, with only her long metal ears and small joint fissures on her shoulders remaining as reminders of her robotic nature. Even her crotch was anatomically correct now, and her breasts were adorned with nipples that looked as lifelike as Chisame's.

Chachamaru interrupted that view by turning Chisame around and starting to wash her back and unbound hair. She massaged the extra tense muscles with gentle and caring fingers, and Chisame felt, despite her own wishes, marginally better now. "I won't allow you to suffer, because your suffering will also cause Negi-sensei grief," the gynoid told her. "But also, because I genuinely worry about you as well. You have done too much for my Mother, and you have shown me you are courageous and driven. This isn't like you, Hasegawa-san. What could possibly have done this to you? I'll help you with it, no matter what it is."

"I told you, you can't help me," Chisame said sadly. "No one can."

"As long as there is life, there are things we can do," Chachamaru disagreed, finishing washing her off and carrying her bridal style into the tub, gently setting her sitting into it and then sitting right behind her, holding the human maternally. "Remember, things have looked bleak and hopeless before, and we still triumphed. This will be no different."

"You... you are a really nice, sweet girl." Chisame rubbed her own eyes with a hand. "You're a much better person... a much better human being... than me. Please make Negi happy, will you?"

"I can't make him happy if you aren't happy," Chachamaru observed quietly. "For better or worse, his happiness depends on yours. You are the most special of us to him."

"D-Don't say that!" Chisame almost jumped out of the water. "That can't be! It'd be insane!"

"Now that's more like the emotionally stunted Hasegawa Chisame I know." Evangeline lazily walked, bare naked, into the bathroom, setting herself in the tub facing Chisame, without bothering to wash herself first. Foreigners. "So, are you coherent enough to explain why should I bother to drink your paltry blood and break my code of honor of not harming those beneath my level?"

"It's because my blood isn't paltry or weak," Chisame said, sounding darkly annoyed now. "You have said you need to drink the blood of Nagi Springfield's child to break your curse, right? Well... I AM A CHILD OF NAGI SPRINGFIELD, TOO! So drink all my blood and fly free! Spread your darkness all around the world! For all I care! Make everyone suffer like I suffer! Um ... other than Negi, Hakase, my siblings, and Satsuki-san, okay? That's all I'm asking for in exchange, really."

On opposite sides of Chisame, Evangeline and Chachamaru had frozen still, with bugged out eyes.

"Repeat that," Evangeline commanded when she recovered after a moment. "Better yet, expand on it, explain it, before I -"

"Nagi Springfield cuckolded the man I thought to be my father with my mother, and I was born! So I'm Negi's older sister!" Chisame cried. "I know that will make you mad, so take it out on me! Come on, just do me already!"

Much to Chisame's puzzlement, after some moments where Evangeline really looked demonic and about to jump for her throat, the petite blonde rested back, with her brow curved in quite an ugly way, and a hand over her own mouth in troubled concentration. "... well," she said at last. "This would certainly explain a few things."

"Master?" asked Chachamaru, still not letting Chisame go.

Evangeline hissed furiously to herself. "That perverted heel. So that's why he was around the Mahora area so much back then ... and to think, he had the gall to flirt with me back then, around the same time, too!"

Chisame blinked. "Um, from all we've seen of your past, I was under the impression he didn't pay you any att-"

"SILENCE!" bellowed Eva, who was big on Believing What You Choose to Believe. She stomped a foot against the bottom of the tub. "Oh, when I get my hands on that filthy man's neck, how I will twist, yes! That dirty Casanova! That no-good Don Juan! That cheap Romeo!"

"Sounds good. Why don't you start by killing his daughter, so you can get back in shape to kill him?" Chisame suggested. "And hurt him in the process."

Eva sneered. "As if. I doubt you'd mean anything to him, seeing how he never attempted to reach out to you."

"Master, that was a very cruel comment," Chachamaru chided.

"Nah, let her. When she's right, she's right," sighed Chisame.

"Furthermore, if I haven't killed Boya yet, despite how much of an annoyance he's been to me, I'm not going to break my golden rule with you either," Evangeline added. "No way your blood would be as rich as his, anyway. He has the bloodline of Ostia's royalty added to his, while your mother was ... unremarkable enough that I barely remember her. I think she was part of Konoemon's staff when I was first brought here. Tell me, child, who told you about your actual parentage?" she suspiciously asked.

"My sister," Chisame said.

Eva narrowed her eyes. "Your older sister? That nervous wreck of a woman?"

"She said Mother wiped her memories of that time, but apparently Arika-sama helped her to recover them," Chisame explained mechanically, just going through the motions by now.

Evangeline bit on her own thumb. "So _she_ knows!" she said to herself, dripping poison with every word.

That wasn't good at all. She could figure out it now. Arika wanted to exert her influence over Nagi's children to guarantee her own claim on that idiot, who was rightfully Evangeline's for vengeance and sweet, sweet... release. (Eva's mind helpfully blocked any other, kinder and more romantic imagery in the heat of the moment.) That couldn't be allowed. She had to play her own cards quickly to defeat that royal bitch in her own game.

"I can't believe I was so blind," she mused aloud. "All this time, the answer was right in front of me."

"Look, what do I need to do for you to kill me already?" Chisame asked tiredly.

Adding to her discomfort, Evangeline began to smile at her, in quite an unnerving way. "And why would you want to die because of that? Are you that attached to the man you thought your father?"

"F-far from it! It's just -!"

"It's just," Evangeline said as she rose to her feet in the water, hands on her hips, "that you think you can't be with Boya now."

"Th-that's not it either!"

Eva feigned a sigh, as Chachamaru looked at her warily. Eva dodged her gaze and just smirked vaguely. "Of course, it's not like you had any real chance before this either. Boya is an immortal now, as you are well aware. And, Nagi's child or not, you are still a mortal. Your love would be doomed. You'd only grow old and dry while he remains young and vital forever, eventually dying and causing him great pain."

"Yeah," Chisame mumbled. "N-not like my interests were romantic, ever, but if they ever had been, which they weren't... well, you just said it. It's just, this -"

Evangeline chuckled. "Yes, for Boya, it would have to be someone else who can hold eternity with him, like Chachamaru. Or me, even." As Chachamaru's cheeks grew faintly red, her Master asked, "You would like that, wouldn't you, my dear?"

"M-Master, I..."

Then Evangeline caressed Chisame's neck with a sharp finger nail, and lowered her mouth to caress the tender skin with her fangs, never piercing, but teasing, as her words blew warm breath near Chisame's ear. "And of course, you like this sad woman as well, don't you? Maybe your electric instincts are a wonderful thing that could see their relationship where even I, the Great and Powerful Mistress of Puppets, failed. But to be worth walking with you and the Boya, she would have to prove herself as a demon. Do you think you could do that, Hasegawa Chisame?"

"Gyyuhhhhh... whaaaaaa...?" babbled Chisame, who had frozen where she was.

"I said," Evangeline said, lowering her other hand to caress Chisame's trembling but firm thighs, slowly making her way up. "You might perhaps prove yourself worthy to hold eternity with Boya and your fan here, despite the sinful nature of such a relationship, if you were to take the only path one can take to be sinful and eternal at once. Mind, if I tell you this, it's only for Chachamaru's sake. I don't think you'll ever be able to manage it, but just so she never says I never did anything for her, I'm willing to offer you... a fighting chance to become a demon."

And up two fingers of hers went up into Chisame's vagina, making the girl scream again. She clenched her teeth, and her hands clawed at the edges of the tub, as Evangeline's fingers, with their long sharp nails, explored the insides of her cleft, toying and teasing it in a calculated, torturing way. Right behind her, Chachamaru was having problems processing the whole situation, inwardly torn between her loyalty that forced her to stand back and her wish to help Chisame to the best of her capacities. Her Master's voice distracted her from her inner conflict for a moment.

"I know what you're thinking," she told Chisame. "You're thinking how you can't let this ruin your perfect normalcy. I mean, here you are, naked with two other girls as one of them touches you intimately. And those two females are a vampire and a robot. And as I touch you, you're thinking of your little brother, whom you love, and who happens to be a mage. And I have just told you there's a very slight chance for you to share your life with him. And naturally, you should be wary, and distrust me, because what I am doing, and what I am telling you, goes against any principle you have ever held."

At that, she touched a particularly sweet spot, and Chisame arched her back, moaning loudly. Evangeline pulled the slick wet fingers out of her and licked them dry with an air of arrogant aloofness. "But of course, your life is ruined already, so what difference does it make?"

Chisame rasped and wheezed, face bright red, trembling in Chachamaru's arms. "No... I mean, what... why, why are you doing this?"

"For several reasons," Evangeline said, placing a foot on Chisame's stomach. "First of all, because I can. And there's rarely a better reason than that. But I also do want to see if you have what it takes. You certainly have the inner darkness for it, and truth be told, I'd prefer to give you a shot for this boon... and curse... over the likes of Shiina and Kasuga. I don't give such things lightly, Hasegawa Chisame. The way I see it, left to your own devices, after learning of this, you'll end up a pathetic loser locked forever in your bedroom with your Internet connection. And normally, I would have no problems with that. It's what you deserve if you're pitiful enough to let this crush you. But perhaps, after all, you do have something that might either take you above it or sink you even further, and I must admit I'm curious to see what it is. You can't blame me. One grows bored easily after a few centuries."

"What do you mean, Master?" asked her servant.

Evangeline smiled, cupping Chisame's cheek in a hand and addressing her even though her next statement was mostly answering Chachamaru. "You have vexed me for a long time now, ever since you took Boya under your wing. Kagurazaka may break my barriers, but you... you dare to challenge my will, ever since our first conflict. You question my terms, and make Boya question them as well. And yet, unlike most of your partners, who deflate and hide when I growl at them, you do have the necessary strength of character to do things like stopping Boya's rampage when he would lose his humanity. None of them could do that, and that might be the reason why, out of the whole lot of you, he just might need you more than anyone else. Anyone can support those they love, but it takes a special kind of person to stand up to them."

Chisame blinked. "Are you... seriously praising me?" That was even more startling and confusing and terrifying than being masturbated by her.

Evangeline laughed dryly. "Don't let it swell your head, Hasegawa Chisame! I do think you are a special kind of person, yes, but I never said it was a good kind. And I believe Boya needs you, but we often need things that are not good or... nice." She uttered that last word with a modicum of disgust. Chachamaru, despite BEING nice, didn't seem offended, though, the way a mother doesn't look angry when her bratty boy talks about all girls having cooties. "You need to accept that, even if Boya doesn't lose control anymore, he's still a monster, a freak of nature, as you called me earlier, and he'll always be. And the longer he lives, the more distanced from humanity he'll become. There's no way to change that. You have to accept he won't have the nice normal life you hoped for him."

Chisame cringed, trying to squirm free from Chachamaru's embrace. "Can... can we continue this discussion out of the water? You two don't have to worry about this, but I'm getting wrinkles on my wrinkles."

"I'm being serious here!" Eva barked, moving her foot down to Chisame's feet, which gave the girl a direct visual angle at the vampire's vulva. "It's up to you to decide. You can resign yourself to losing Boya and heading back into the gray but safe life of a normal human, or you can follow him, but only if you forsake your own humanity. You have the inner tools for both paths, but you need stop stalling it. I'm sure Arika will also request the same of you."

"What are you talking about?" Chisame protested. "No way she'll want me with him if we're siblings, not that I-!"

Evangeline laughed. "You don't know a thing about Ostian royalty, do you? There are no branches that don't touch each other in their family tree." Before Chisame could ask what that meant, she was told, "The time for normal schoolgirls following a boy teacher has passed. Now, anyone following Negi Springfield, mage warrior, immortal beast, has to be of a comparable level. Accept that, or step out of his way. What do you consider the most important, to keep going with him regardless of the further deviancies that might bring into your life, or to crawl back to your safe place?"

Chisame opened her mouth to go on an angry tirade and rant on how she was full of shit, on how she would defy her this time too, on how she was insane and a pervert and how she hadn't enjoyed her ministrations. But looking at the fire in Evangeline's eyes, she felt her own surge, and she spoke, in a tone that startled Chachamaru, "Cut the crap, Eva. You really think I could go back now, even if I wanted ... I mean, if I want it so much? What's done is done. I can't change who my father is or all I've been dragged through. So I have no choice but to take this all the way, right? I won't give you the satisfaction of breaking down now, either! Bring it on! I'll pass any tests like I passed all the others you gave me!"

Evangeline smiled evilly. "Such a confident little devil." And she tossed herself on Chisame's neck, sinking her teeth into her flesh and making her moan again. It was such a sharp pain, and yet, it also came with a disturbing, thick sort of dark pleasure, intensified by how Evangeline drank her blood avidly while maneuvering her sex over Chisame's. Their clitorises touched for the first time, and Chisame gave another cry of forbidden rapture. With precise, strong strokes, Evangeline began pumping her hips against Chisame's, scissoring their legs together expertly, despite their difference in sizes. Chisame trembled in her strong vicious grip, and Chachamaru, fearing the sensations were being too violent and raw for her, decided to smooth them down by, after several moments of doubt, lowering her face and delicately kissing Chisame's lips.

She was surprised as Chisame kissed back fiercely, overcome by a long repressed lust and unleashed frustration, a hand sneaking between Chachamaru's legs as Evangeline continued giving her angry, relentless sex and licking the bleeding punctures in her neck. Chisame had kissed Negi for their Pactio, and been kissed repeatedly by him during the Mahorafest fiasco Haruna and Asakura had dubbed the 'Kissing Terminator Incident'. She had accidentally kissed Satomi once, and she and Asuna had kissed during the Love Potion debacle. Only the Kissing Terminator came close to this, but while there she was a wholly unwilling victim, here she was being pulled down into the warm, guiltily pleasurable abyss by every contact with both of the girls touching and being touched by her. Her rational mind screamed at her from somewhere, but its cries came as garbled nonsense drowned by the fire between her legs.

It was almost a disappointment when Evangeline stopped drinking from her, but she kept on being touched and squeezed, and their sexes kept on rubbing, so she also kept stroking at the curiously anatomically correct vulva of Chachamaru. From the brief sounds the gynoid was making, Chisame guessed it was working after all, despite her actions being only applied haphazardly based on what she did when she masturbated, and on a robotic body to boot. But if Hakase knew how to make pleasure spots in a robot's vagina, that not only posed the question of how she was so knowledgeable about that, but what was their purpose in the first place...

Ah.

Her orgasm had just arrived, making her hand falter within Chachamaru, although the gynoid finished it by touching herself a few more times, then relaxing ahead against Chisame with what just had to be a sigh, Chisame was sure of it. Chisame was still moaning and gasping for air when Evangeline pulled back, giving no signs of a climax of her own but seeming satisfied regardless. "That," she said, "was the contract of acceptance for your test. You weren't thinking I'd convert you by sucking your blood, right now, did you? No, this is only your first step. Now you have been tainted by my touch, yes, but that is only so you can even withstand what I am going to impose on you, and I can still take it back whenever I choose to."

Chisame nodded rigidly. "What... what do I have to do?"

* * *

><p>The rain had mostly stopped, and Negi Springfield now stood, wet and crestfallen, in one of dozens of puddles that dotted the empty lot. The same vacant lot where, all those months ago, he had made his Pactios with Chisame, Misora and Satomi to stand a chance against the threat of Evangeline. After taking the lead on pressing for the alliance, Misora had had second thoughts and become reluctant, which, of course, made her two classmates act the same way.<p>

_"Let's decide it with a game of Janken!" Misora suggested._

_"Allow Sensei to decide it," Hakase replied, sure he wouldn't pick her. "It's a bigger step for him than for us, isn't it? So it's just fair he-"_

_"M-M-ME?!" Negi squeaked out, breathing harder._

_"You just want to avoid the responsibility of choosing!" Hasegawa told her. "If anything, we should decide it by popular voting! Democracy!"_

_Then, Misora and Satomi looked at her both at once. Chisame had a bad feeling which only grew worse as both of them pointed their right hands at her and chorused in perfect synchrony, "OKAY! THEN WE CHOOSE YOU!"_

_"WHAT?" The hacker freaked out. "You can't be serious!"_

_Chamo smiled. "Democracy! You said it yourself!"_

_"I demand a recount!" Chisame yelled._

_"WE CHOOSE YOU!" the two other girls repeated, poking their fingers into her direction categorically. This time, however, the ermine pointed at her as well. And after a few seconds of nervous, trembling panic, and giving her a silent, pleading look, Negi also aimed a timid finger at her._

_Chisame blushed bright red before tugging on her hair. "Arrrghhh! It's a conspiracy!"_

Thinking about it now, it almost made Negi smile. Almost. Back then, so short ago, a kiss had been such a huge deal, a life changing event, and while it still was that way to some degree, he had kissed so many girls now, not to mention that ... thing he had done with his mother, his concerns that day, beyond those directly related to Evangeline, seemed all but trivial at the time.

And yet, no matter how many more he kissed, no matter how much stronger they were at it than her, no matter how much longer those kisses lasted, no kiss so far could compare with his first kiss with Chisame, in how it had etched into his mind, branding him forever. Standing right where they had established their Pactio, tears escaping his eyes, he could relive those moments, nearly feeling her soft breath on his face again.

_"Hasegawa-san," his voice managed to come out weakly._

_"Shut up," she said, her voice coming out huskier than she expected. Then she quickly covered those obstructing, confusing eyes with a hand, blocking them and allowing her to finally lean in for the kiss, stamping her lips on his._

Something in his chest twisted and ached, and he took a hand to it, whimpering the cherished word to himself. "Chisame ..."

Her voice spoke then, too vivid to be a hallucination, startling him. "I knew you'd be here. Your mother told you, didn't she."

He spun around, running to go hug her, instantly forgetting his woes at the sight of her, wearing one of Chachamaru's dresses for some reason. "Chisame! Thank God you're okay! We looked for you everywhere, but without your Card, I couldn't contact you, and Master and Chachamaru weren't answering our calls, and-"

She placed a hand on his scalp. "I know. I was with them, it's just ... look, we were talking some things over. Why are you crying? You stupid kid, you should trust your Oneesan more," she quietly said, wiping a tear off his eye with a finger.

He shook his head. "I still don't believe it! There, there must be some mistake, Satomi has said she'd help us, with tests, no way Father would leave you, Sora-neesan must be mistaken ..."

She placed her arms around him. "Does it really matter either way? I won't stop looking after you, so don't worry. I'm not mad at you, and Chachamaru and Eva helped me realize... a few things. Life will go on. What else can we do?"

"B-B-But -" He looked up at her face. "- I thought -!"

"What did you think?"

He looked back down. "Nothing."

"No, you're always thinking _something_. Always. So tell me what it is."

_"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at you as a sister,"_ he whispered reluctantly.

And she sighed. "Good. Then don't. Whatever may happen, I'm Chisame. Hell, I don't even think of myself as 'Kobato's Oneesama', either! Just keep thinking of me the way you already did, and I'll do the same."

"But..." His blush grew stronger, so Chisame placed a finger on his lips.

"Let's not force any issues for now," she told him. "Because you're confused and upset, and you make horrible decisions when you're confused and upset, like that whole thing about becoming a demon."

"That, that was necessary! There was no other way at the time!"

"I know. It still was a bad move, though. Sometimes, all we're left with are bad moves. Negi, you'll forgive me if I make a necessary bad move of my own, right?"

"W-What? Chisame, what do you mean?"

She held him tighter against herself. "Nothing. Just asking. All that matters is that you won't get rid of me that easily. Siblings or not, that doesn't matter. All that matters is ... I'm your caretaker, and you'll be lost without me, so I take your burden gladly, because I have nothing better to do with my life."

"That's very sweet of you." Negi nodded, realizing that was as close to a declaration of love as Chisame could get. That was, after all, one of the things he loved about her.

Chisame laughed stiffly. "We're both pretty sad that way, aren't we? I suppose we are siblings after all."

He forced himself to laugh the same way. "Y-Yeah. But if I'm with you, I don't care."

She sniffled a tear of her own back. "Stupid precocious kid. You're as bad as me."

And she pulled him to herself, and they kissed passionately, in a way no two siblings ever should.

Negi Springfield. Teacher. Brother.

Hasegawa Chisame. Student. Sister.

Right now, they couldn't care any less about the titles.

_"She is the person you care about most in this entire world," Arika suggested, caressing his hair. "If you are separated from her, not a day will pass when you do not think of her. As for the rest... what of it? As I told you, I loved my father. He did not love me, and so it brought sorrow. But when love is mutual, it brings joy. And that is never wrong. No matter what."_

And he loved Chisame even more than he loved his mother.

There was no way back. His mind was made up.

Since Chisame apparently felt the same way, a huge weight had just been lifted off him. His spirit soared through the kiss, in a way that, for now at least, set aside all his worries and feelings of inadequacy. Something no one else, not even Nekane, had ever achieved. His life was a nonstop parade of things to worry about, of standards to meet, and only Chisame made him feel free from them, and even moreso, freed him from caring about not being up to them.

She broke the kiss, and smiled at him, in that not really happy, but still quietly joyous, way of hers. "So let's go home," she said. "Hakase must be worried."

"Ah." He rubbed his nose, "Yeah, she is."

They left the lot hand in hand, marching together in silence, until Negi remembered something. "Oh, by the way," he added in a low voice. "There's something else Mother revealed to me. It turns out Asuna-san is her first child, born before she even met Father. So, um, well, she's also my sister, after all."

"..." Chisame said, before composing herself as best as she could. It wasn't that difficult, actually. In the aftermath of her own problems, Kagurazaka's seemed trivial by comparison. Which showed how little she knew, even now. "Well. That's quite the curveball, isn't it? So ... who's her father, then?"

Negi told her as best as he could.

"Ugh. That's kinda gross," Chisame commented.

But, if anything, she squeezed his hand even harder.

* * *

><p>The next morning, birds chirped, the sun was bright, and everything was right with the world.<p>

Hasegawa Kodaka, blond haired Japanese freak of nature, sixteen year old, enjoyed mornings. It was not like classes were particularly enjoyable, but they gave him a sense of peace and quiet he had come to appreciate, compared to what waited for him in the afternoon, after hours.

Often, he felt like he had intruded into someone else's parcel in life, but he reasoned that had to be her own refusal to accept his problems as his. Yankees usually dealt with that through psychological help, but Japanese were expected to swallow it and deal with it all through their lives.

Hasegawa Kodaka disliked his nickname of 'Yankee', but at times he actually wished to be one. One of those days, he'd snap about his dual heritage and end up like that Kimura Kaere freak from Class 3-F.

He navigated through the lessons with stone faced acceptance, taking the usual notes and making his best to ignore the evil presence in the seat behind his. But that morning, the evil presence felt stronger than usual, which was marked by her slightly more agitated breathing than the norm. That had to mean she had a new hair-brained scheme in the making, which was no wonder with the Sports Festival approaching so quickly. It was something unavoidable, which didn't make it any easier to endure. Kodaka only could brace himself and expect he could control damage as best as he could.

Once the bell rang marking the end of the classes, he felt the familiar hand sneaking around from behind him and tightening itself around his tie. At the other side of the classroom, he saw Mikazuki Yozora standing up, with an icy scowl as was her custom, prepared to join them at the door. The game, again, was afoot. Much to his dismay.

"You. Come with me, immediately. There's no time to slack around today," the voice of their master came harsh, unforgiving, leaving no room for question or doubt. Then there came a sinister throaty chuckle as she pulled him to his feet, a most unnerving sound interrupted only by the beeping of Kodaka's cellphone.

"Who is it?" the black haired Yozora asked coldly as they walked together towards the door, keeping her large and quiet purplish eyes locked ahead of her, not deigning to give them a look.

Kodaka stared at the sender's identity as he struggled to keep up with their Supreme Commander's brisk pace. "Ah, it's Chisame. Only says she wants to talk with me privately as soon as I can. Hey, can you let go of my tie? I can walk by myself just fine!"

"Sometimes, I have my doubts," the nice looking devil pulling him along said without a glance back. "Don't even think of using that as an excuse to ditch us. 'As soon as you can' means 'as soon as you're done with your meeting'!"

Kodaka said while looking aside, "But it's weird. For her to call me, when we barely talk to each other... it's not like her. There must be something important to this -"

"If there was, she'd have told you about it already!" their leader argued, ignoring the disdainful look the other girl was giving her. They stopped at the end of a side corridor several halls away, and she pushed the door open with a foot. "Okay, everyone, we're officially back into business! I hope you maggots enjoyed those summer holidays, because now the SOS Brigade's going to make up for all that wasted time!"

Sitting around the room's table, under the sun filtering through the window's mostly closed curtains, a busty blond girl, a much younger averagely pretty girl with short black hair, a handsome and pleasantly smiling boy and a pale short girl with glasses, short grayish hair and an absolute lack of expression looked up at her, the latest softly closing the thick book on her lap. The almost-as-busty-as-the-blonde cute girl in the maid outfit pouring them tea gasped at the sight of her supreme goddess, who flashed them all a wide, truly shit eating grin.

How, faithful and twisted reader, did this come to be, and what happened afterwards? The answers to those riddles and more wait for you in our next somewhat heartwarming chapters.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	4. Lesson Three

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Three<strong>.

* * *

><p>The very next day, Chisame slowly woke up in her bed, realizing almost as soon as she did so that she was not alone there. The sad thing was, she was almost used to it by now. Actually, it was sort of strange that Hakase was spending less time in the same bed as the two of them, since their return from Mundus Magicus. Chisame supposed that she ought to be happy for her fr-er-roommate concerning the relationship upgrade between her and Sakurako, but being happy for people was not one of Chisame's things.<p>

Happiness wasn't really Chisame's thing, when you got down to it.

But it was a little weirdly comforting to feel her boy teacher pressed up against her, as though seeking warmth and caring, even though he was rubbing up against her in very -

And then, quite abruptly, she realized in what way he was rubbing up against her, and with a delicate, girlish shriek, she shoved him out of bed.

"Eh?" he said, as the sudden stop at the end of the fall woke him up. "What, what just happened?

Chisame, who was quietly pretending to still be asleep, said nothing.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, things seemed more or less overall the same as always in Classroom 3-A. Kaede sat taking a nap, but since she tended to be quiet and her eyes were always 'closed' anyway, no one noticed the difference. Skuld and Hakase took extensive notes on everything. Evangeline stared out a window indolently. A bird sat on top of Zazie's head chirping musically.<p>

Yes, the same as always.

Yet the whole world felt fully different for Chisame now. The other night's incident wouldn't leave her head no matter what, and how could it? Should she confront Negi about it? The brat probably wouldn't even know about what she was saying, and even if he knew, he'd ony freak out. Still, sooner or later, he'd wake up one of these days to feel it himself. She needed to be ready for that. But how?

Telling the other Ministra would only lead to disaster, she was sure of that. Even Sora didn't have enough mental maturity to handle it.

Looking at the pages of her _Neo Horizon_ textbook without actually reading from it, Chisame struggled to death with every idea and fear in her mind. Okay, first of all, she needed to learn more about men's parts and how they worked. Not that she had an actual interest in that sort of thing. However, it would be difficult finding the time to read all those books Haruna had lent her without Negi, Hakase or Chamo finding out. Not to mention she **didn't want to do it** in the first place anyway. Still, the alternative should be easy; she was the Mistress of the Internet, and wasn't the Internet the biggest depository of adult material in the world?

Yeah, she could do that, she decided. She'd just let her sprites do the searching for her until they told her of the exact target and where to find it. There had to be something somewhere about how handling someone's first erection, without having to read through all those stupid perverted books.

Her blood froze then, as she felt him standing right next to her. Until all the preliminary preparations for his project cleared up, he still could keep teaching them for a while. "Chisame-san? Chisame-san, your turn," he gently asked, giving her one of those smiles that were so sickeningly sweet.

"Ah, ah, oh yes, sure," Chisame coughed, standing up with the book open in her hands. "Page 42, right?"

"43," he corrected her. "The third and fourth paragraphs."

"Y-Yes, I knew that. My tongue slipped." She grumbled and began reading in English._ "We lived near the town, in an old home inherited from our grandfather. Father had just died last year, but his pension was enough to cover most of our basic needs."_

She took a weary breath in and continued. _"My brother quickly got a job at the Post Office, but I had to stay at school. There were few children of my age around, so I led a solitary existence for three full years. Until one day, we were met by a bearded old man -"_

Negi held a hand up, still smiling. "That'll be enough, Chisame-san. We'll let Misa-san supply the climax of this story. Thanks for your long, hard work. You've come out on top of your previous limitations."

"Oh, um, well, yeah, thanks," Chisame mumbled. Damn his praise. Why should she care about it, or his approval?

"You hit the key point rather well," Negi nodded. "You really have learned how to use your tongue when handling English. See? All those long sessions of reading and practice had a pay off!"

Wait, why did it all sound so strangely suggestive?

"I look forward to seeing more of you at this level in the future."

Even that kind of came out slightly wrong.

"Remember!" he said. "Together, we can do anything! All of us! I'm sure our hard work will bear fruits very soon!"

Chisame couldn't hold herself back anymore as his smiling face came closer. It would have been very comforting to someone who wasn't on the edge already.

Her? She barely noticed it herself when her right fist balled itself up and flew through the air to meet his face. To be honest, the first things she fully realized were the horrified gasps of her classmates.

Even Asuna's.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Chisame found herself seated on a bench, face palming. Well, technically, she didn't find herself; that was where Chizuru and Natsumi found her, by what everyone involved decided to pretend was chance.<p>

"Good afternoon, Chisame-san," Chizuru said politely as she walked up to the depressed looking girl. "One hopes that you're feeling better than you were this morning. When you punched our teacher through a plate glass window."

A set of bushes near the bench quivered for some reason.

"Why did you feel compelled to remind me of what happened?" Chisame asked, still obviously upset.

"Perhaps I am motivated by moral indignation," Chizuru said, giving the matter a certain amount of thought. "Or I may have had other reasons."

Quiver, quiver went the bushes.

"Anyway!" interjected Natsumi, who found the tone of this conversation to be far too anxious. "What brought that on, anyway?"

"It's typical harem hijinx," Chisame muttered, not meeting Natsumi's eyes.

"No, not really," Natsumi, who had a surprisingly deep understanding of the genre. "Generally, that sort of thing is provoked by an action undertaken by the male character, and all Negi-sensei did was offering you a compliment on your translation. Right?"

"Okay," Chisame said, leaning back and glaring at the two of them. "You're not going to let up until I tell all, are you? It baffles me that I'd confess this, particularly to you two, but still..." She began to quietly mutter, causing the two of them to lean closer to hear.

So did the bush.

"What?" Ayaka shrieked a moment later as she burst from said bush. "You fiend, Hasegawa! It's bad enough that you sleep in the same bed as our beloved teacher, but to do so in such a lewd manner as to provoke him to have **_an erection_**!"

"Oh, Ayaka. What a pleasant surprise," said Chizuru, smiling warmly.

"Chizu-nee, no one is buying that you didn't know she was there when you started-"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Natsumi-chan," Chizuru said, looming over the petite actress, who promptly zipped her lip.

"Where did you learn how to conceal yourself in the bushes and spy on people, anyway?" Chisame asked. Anything to keep her mind off of the main subject at hand.

"Th-That isn't important at all! I learned it, and that's all what matters!" Ayaka protested.

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, at Yukihiro Manor, Fubuki, the lead maid, stood with her arms folded before a stone faced and sitting Roberta, the tallest of all the servants working at the mansion. A woman with dead cold eyes under thick glasses, whose jaded glare could intimidate anyone in the residence (owners included) but Fubuki. "So, espionage, infiltration, gunplay, knife-fighting, chemical warfare, sabotage and code-breaking. Anything ELSE you have taught Ojou-sama without telling me first that I should know about?"<p>

Roberta went over the demolitions, camouflage, jeep driving, kickboxing and basic capoeira lessons in her head.

"Nothing else at all," she lied, as convincingly as someone used to enduring interrogation under torture in the jungle. (Which, you know, she had. From her native Colombia, to Venezuela, Santa Prisca, Wakanda, Corto Maltese ...)

* * *

><p>"I didn't do a damn thing to provoke ... that," Chisame protested, trying her very best to keep from shouting. The class rep was going to attract enough attention all by herself, she didn't need any help. "I mean, he used to curl up against me -"<p>

"Ngrgh!"

"- and my pajama top would get pulled open somehow -"

"Raaagh!"

"- and once one of my nipples was in his mouth -"

**"Nyyahh!"**

"- and ... but there wasn't any of that, this time," Chisame said, changing pace to stop Ayaka from having some sort of stroke. "He just had a -"

"Boner," supplied Natsumi. "What?"

When they stopped staring, Ayaka regarded Chisame while chewing on her thumb. "There's only one explanation. This must be the dreaded mourning wood. And as you can no doubt guess from the name ... it can be fatal. And thus cause mourning, you see."

"Uh, that's not-" Chizuru started to say.

Chisame had gone pale. "You mean, it's actually ... he's really in pain when that happens?" She hadn't done more than flip through the books on the subject yet, but they seemed more technical than practical for the most part, and she already doubted they'd go into great detail about what the man actually felt, rather going more into the medical causes and effects.

"Yes!" Ayaka confirmed. "Something must be done!"

I should say something, thought Chizuru. I should say something now, before things go too far. I should really say something!

"Yes, something must be done!" Chizuru said.

... oh dear. Maybe her Father's worst habits were rubbing on her even more than she cared to admit to herself.

"Where did you hear about this 'mourning wood', by the way?" Natsumi asked Ayaka, curiously.

"I have trusty sources on everything a woman in love - I mean, pure and sincere platonic love - needs to know to look after the health of a growing young man," replied the heiress. "Believe me, I was informed in depth and without any room for confusion!"

* * *

><p>Back at Yukihiro Manor, Fubuki-san turned to another maid, a busty one with short black hair. "And you, Siesta-san, if I'm not mistaken, have seen fit to inform Ojou-sama about certain aspects of human sexuality."<p>

"She asked, I just told her the simple truth," Siesta shrugged.

"You know Ojou-sama is naive, and she tends to misinterpret things," Fubuki chided her. "Exactly what did you tell her about?"

Siesta scratched the back of her neck. "Well ..."

The other maids stared even but coldly at her. Even the normally friendly and innocent Taeko.

"I just told her what men tend to like," Siesta laughed nervously.

Fubuki had paled just a bit. "I thought you and Saito-san still hadn't -"

Siesta looked aside, trying badly to look innocent. "Ah, what makes you so, so quick to assume that was what I was meant?" She coughed politely, as was her custom when asked about her relationship with the kind but goofy, and rather boyishly perverted, young man who worked at the local market where they often bought supplies. "I'm just talking about family wisdom, passed from generation to generation. Things any young woman looking to please a man someday should know ..."

Taeko had already pulled out a notebook and pen, with bright starry eyes behind her nerdy glasses. "Seriously?" she goofily cooed, visions of the handsome and gentle Hanabishi Kaoru-sempai from her part time college classes filling the thought balloon hanging above her head. All business, Fubuki pulled a needle out and poked the balloon, making it collapse like a modern Hindenburg on a sadly moaning Taeko's head.

"Discuss that, if you must, after duty hours," the busty woman with long dark gray hair chided, before addressing Siesta again. "As for you, we all should hope Ojou-sama doesn't turn any of what she has learned to improper use. As you know, Minako-sama will be coming back next week, and the last thing she needs to see so soon after her recovery is her daughter involved in any shameful situations because of us."

"Despite her youth, Ojou-sama is far wiser than you give her any credit for," Roberta stated, as sparse and serious as ever. "I know she won't put herself into any situations unbefitting her position and dignity."

For a moment afterwards, you could hear a pin falling down in the stillness of the room.

"You just jinxed it," the youngest of the maids, one Fabiola Iglesias, Roberta's sole disciple in the arts of the Terrorist Ninja Maid, commented at the end of that agonizing moment.

Without a single word or alteration of her truly Golgo 13-esque's expression, Roberta instantly caught Fabiola in a tight and painful headlock from behind. Despite having been in front of her only a moment ago.

"I'm sorryyyyyyy!" Fabiola whined for air, kicking wildly.

Fubuki placed two fingers on her own forehead and sighed.

At times like these, she almost missed her days of working with Kogarashi, the Masked Maid Guy.

Don't ask.

* * *

><p><em>And so, that very night...<em>

"There's nobody else in there, right?" Negi asked as Chisame slowly surveyed the huge bath from its sliding door, wearing her one piece swimsuit.

"Not yet there isn't," she muttered. She almost wished she could have taken the time for a better reading of those books during the afternoon and early evening, but there were too many of them, and it was clear Ayaka would go forward with the plan regardless of her involvement or lack thereof. So she'd just have to go along with it, trust the rich girl to a point, and minimize damage in anything that went past that point.

"What was that?" Negi asked then, snapping her out of her immediate concerns. He had also been worried, since his mother was nowhere to be found. He suspected she had finally gone to tell Asuna everything, but if she had, he feared calling Asuna and Konoka for confirmation only would worsen everything. It was better to wait for her return, and in the meanwhile, he simply could not disobey such an urgent invitation from his other older sister. That he knew.

"I said, no, no, there isn't."

"Oh." He was a bit confused about why she was muttering instead of making direct statements, but this was largely overwhelmed by his appreciation for the fact that, for once, he was not being dragged into their room's small shower for his bath this evening.

Now that they were occupying a public space, surely, surely the prospect that someone might come in at any time would hold Chisame back from her usual habit of tearing off his clothes and scrubbing him with faintly maniacal force. He would be able to splash about to his heart's content, avoiding utterly the need for the soap and other supposedly hygienic products in the bucket that he was carrying.

The fact that she'd been the one to propose this notion was a bit confusing, though. Perhaps he should make a subtle reference to the oddity. "Chisame, why did you ask me to join you in the bath?"

"Well. Um. You see ..." And here she trailed off, looking down at him from behind glasses that were starting to get a little foggy.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Ah, Negi-sensei! What a pleasant meeting!" said Ayaka as she casually strolled in through the door, followed closely by Chizuru and a slightly depressed-looking Natsumi, all dressed in their best swimsuits.

"Eh? Iinchou! Uh, well, hello, this is sort of a surprise, isn't it?" Negi asked, having a terrible feeling of impending doom.

Ayaka started to nod, then paused, and shook her head. "No, Sensei, it's not a surprise. You see, Hasegawa-san told us that you would be here, and we arranged to come here at the same time."

"Ehhh? What, why would you do that?"

And then Ayaka's hands were firmly on his shoulders. "Negi-sensei... this is an intervention," she announced.

Negi blinked, considering the idea of saying "Eh?" in a confused tone yet again. But the repetition bothered him, so all that he did was gape bewilderedly.

"Hasegawa-san has told us about your little problem, you see, and we want to help you. Isn't that right?" she asked Chizuru and Natsumi.

Natsumi coughed and looked aside, blushing brightly, while Chizuru smiled pleasantly as she nodded. No one could tell that somewhere inside her she was torn between laughing her fool head off and screaming a desperate warning.

He gulped. "She did? Well ... well, thank you, Iinchou, but I really can't possibly accept this kind and well-meant offer. The situation is far too delicate, and I would need to consult Mother on the issue first, you know, because with affairs of this kind, the opinion of all those with a direct stake on it counts, not that I'm saying it's not your business or anything, it's just that Asuna-san -"

"Asuna-san?" Ayaka almost shrieked. "What does she, and your mother, what do they have to do with... um. I mean, perhaps we should sit down in the bath and discuss this calmly and, and reasonably."

"Well, all right, but I'm not going to -" Negi started to say, turning to walk towards the bath.

"For shame, Sensei!" Ayaka said, stopping him rather forcefully. "I can only shake my head in dismay that your caregivers haven't explained basic bathing etiquette to you, even after all this time. A large number of people will be using that bath, so it's important to get clean before you enter and start to soak!" _It's really happening, it's really happening_, Ayaka's interior monologue sang. _Oh so glad am I that I started taking that nosebleed medication._ "Let me help you with that!"

Chisame watched, almost dazed by the sheer gall of Ayaka's actions, as the class representative sat Negi down on the portable plastic stool, facing away from her. Without even a momentary hesitation or trace of embarrassment, the tall blonde slid the straps of her Apsaras swimsuit down her arms to expose her surprisingly large breasts, then poured liquid soap on them, and began to work it into a lather, with Negi all unaware of her actions.

Despite herself, Chisame couldn't take her eyes off those boobs, even though she'd seen them before without thinking anything of them. The envy she was feeling was ridiculous, given her own not-exactly-humble endowment. And plenty of people liked her chest just the way it was, given that Chiu routinely beat out much bustier net idols in popularity contests. After all, bustiness was really just a sort of fatness, and people didn't want -

"Um, Chisame-san?" Natsumi said, breaking her somewhat frenetic line of thought. Chisame turned to look at the actress, who kept darting glances at Ayaka's boobs that were possibly even more envious than Chisame's had been. (However, she also glanced that way at Chisame and, of course, Chizuru. Chizuru was cheerfully oblivious as she watched Ayaka lather up, and ... wait, was that a line of drool coming out of her mouth? No, couldn't be.)

"Yes, what, what is it?" Chisame asked, to distract herself more than anything else.

"What did Sensei mean when he said this situation involves-"

"He probably thought she meant something else," she quickly and oh so quietly interrupted. "They're having two conversations at the same time."

"Oh," said Natsumi. Then, "What was his conversation -"

Chisame was about to interject with a shouted, "Look, an UFO!", showing just how desperate the situation was getting, when Natsumi herself broke off and said, "Oh my gosh, she's actually going through with it."

And sure enough, Ayaka had begun to rub her soapy chest up against Negi's back. From the sudden stiffness in the boy teacher's posture, he had quickly realized that something somewhat outside the realm of his experience was happening. "Um ... Iinchou-"

"Please, Sensei," Ayaka interrupted. "Under the circumstances, you should probably call me Ayaka-san."

"Well, um, all right, I suppose a certain amount of informality is understandable under the, um, the circumstances, so, ah, Ayaka-san, uh, what -"

"Ayaka-chan would be nice too."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly -"

"Or even Ya-chan."

"Ya-chan?" Negi asked, confused.

"Ya-chan?" repeated all three of the other girls present.

Ayaka paused, blushing brightly. "Um, why don't we pretend that last bit didn't happen, all right? Because no one has ever called me Ya-chan, and I certainly never called anyone Su-chan, and if I did we definitely didn't kiss that one time under the branches of the tree right after we buried our time capsule, and, and, ummmm."

Chizuru felt a headache coming on, judging by the way that she was rubbing her forehead, or so it seemed to Chisame.

"Oookay," said Negi, glad to be getting away from this strange topic. "Anyway, I can't help but notice that you, you, you don't seem to be using a cloth while you're, um, washing me."

"Very perceptive, Sensei," Ayaka said, also relieved to have that digression ended. "I am not using a cloth."

"Ah. Well, um, forgive me for saying so, Ayaka-san, but is this really, well, I mean, hygienic? Or appropriate?"

"It's very hygienic," she assured him. "This sort of thing is quite common, it seems. There's actually quite a large number of businesses where it is done commercially, or so my sources assure me." (Well, actually, all that Siesta had told her, when she'd asked her whether men really liked being bathed like this, was that there were places where they paid to have it happen. But it followed that there had to be quite a few of them. Simple economics.) "Surely the government wouldn't permit there to be a business where people could become sick from the business?

"And, as to its appropriateness, I think it's very appropriate for us to establish a relationship that accepts contact between our skins, or skinship as it sometimes known. After all, there is so much you do not know about the ways in which people in this country are supposed to behave, and yet there are also so many things that you do know that I don't know, and, and, and therefore -"

She could stand it no more. With surprising strength, she whirled Negi around so that he was facing her, and as his eyes went wide at the sight of her topless body, she pressed up against him, and said, almost singing, "So teach me, Sensei, as I am teaching youuuuu-"

"Ooooo-kayyyy!" said Chisame as she interrupted this fairly directly by shoving Ayaka off of and away from a paralyzed, quivering Negi. The rich girl flew away, landing in the pool with a squawk interrupted by a splash. "That'll be enough of that! The idea was to get him comfortable enough to talk about his problem and-" She broke off, glancing down.

Yep. There it was, lifting up the fabric of his shorts.

"- annnnd a certain someone has actually caused the problem!"

"This is very embarrassing," Negi said quietly.

"Oh wow," said Natsumi, staring at it as she had not stared at any of the breasts on display. "That's, that's mourning wood?"

"Yes, although it's evening," Chizuru said faintly.

"Eh? What was that?"

"Nothiiiing."

"Does it, does it hurt?" Chisame asked, irritation slowly fading into concern.

"Well, yes," Negi admitted. He would really have preferred to be alone so that he could take down his shorts, which had become rather confining. "But, you know, it's all right, Chisame, it will get better eventually, and - Chisame? Why are you staring menacingly at me?"

"Because you're doing it again, aren't you?" Chisame growled.

"Doing what?" Negi asked, smiling broadly.

"You're doing that 'I deserve to suffer' thing again! That 'don't worry about my trauma, I'm all right as long as my students are okay' thing again! That incredibly selfish selflessness thing again! God, that thing you do!" Chisame snarled, clenching her teeth in a rather frightening way.

"'Selfish selflessness'?" asked Chizuru, eyebrows raised.

"Like pretending you're not in love with someone because you don't want to risk losing them as a friend," explained Natsumi, who was, as has already been mentioned, rather genre savvy. Then she looked sideways at Chizuru. "Not that _anyone_ here knows anything about that." In addition to being genre savvy, she was a lot sharper than most people realized.

While Chizuru was momentarily incapacitated by an inexplicable bout of coughing, Ayaka surged up out of the pool, the top of her swimsuit still hanging around her waist. "It's not okay, Sensei!" she cried. "Even if it does go down on its own, the toxins remain!"

"Toxins?" Negi asked, starting to look a little frightened.

"Certainly! Just as when you become tired, it is because toxins have built up in your bloodstream, and so is it with this condition! With those toxins, you have to rest to let them run their course, but these ones, the ones that are causing you pain right now, Sensei, they will remain in your system, building up each time, until finally - there is cause for mourning!" Ayaka concluded in a hollow tone.

"And you're sure about this?" Chisame demanded. "This isn't something that you've completely misinterpreted?"

"I am sure!" said Ayaka, who was occasionally in error, but never in doubt.

"I had no idea that such things could happen," Negi said faintly. Ayaka was not the most gullible person in the room, after all. So his mother had tried to save him when they did _that_! And to think, for a moment, he had dared suspecting she might have done it for her own personal pleasure. He felt so ashamed of himself now...

"Wait, even if that happens, after the whole mess at Ostia, shouldn't that be a moot point anyway, because Negi is now -" Chisame started another objection that was sharply interrupted from the most unlikely of sources.

"Okay, then," said Natsumi, looking as grimly determined as a cute girl with freckles can look. "We've got to do something to help Sensei relieve that pressure, since it's mostly our fault for surprising him like this, right?"

"Well-spoken, Natsumi-chan!" Ayaka praised her.

"Fine. Maybe Theatre Girl is right," sighed Chisame, who had been taught the hard way you never could leave anything to chance when Negi was involved.

"Wait- Theatre Girl?"

"So we'd better all follow Ayaka's example, and get naked," Chisame said, suiting her actions to her words. She was acutely aware as she did so that Negi was staring at her, eyes almost popping out of their sockets. Apparently, he really did think of her as a girl, not just as a replacement for his older sister. She'd wondered, sometimes.

Very quickly, they were all nude, as was Negi. The relief he'd expected to feel from the release of his burden didn't materialize, though, given the nervousness he felt from his surroundings and the prospect of a horrible death.

"So," said Ayaka. "I think we should janken for who does what, as that seems -"

Chisame ignored her and hesitantly reached out to wrap her small hand around his thing. (She was familiar with several of the slang terms, but refused to even think about them at a time like this.) Her hand bumped into Natsumi's hand, on the same mission. They paused to glance at each other. With almost perfect synchronization, they lowered their hands onto it together and began rubbing.

Negi's breathing got faster as they rubbed.

"Okay," Chisame asked, swallowing. "Is this, is this good, or bad? You're going to have to tell us, you know, because, well, I have no idea what I'm doing, do you, the-"

"Natsumi," the girl interrupted.

"Right, right, sorry."

"It's very, very good, Chisame-san," Negi told her. "A lit-little frightening, but very, very good."

_Arrggh!_ thought Ayaka, wishing she had a handkerchief she could tear at with her teeth. She wanted to be involved in this more than anything, but Negi's thing - his cute thing! - was almost too small for two hands, let alone three! What could she do?

"Try licking it," Chizuru suggested faintly, sitting a little bit removed from the three of them, rather than being pressed up against them. "I've, I've heard that some men like that sort of -"

Ayaka promptly bent down and began to gently lick at the tip of the thing, just above Chisame's hand, making Negi gasp and widening the eyes of the other two girls.

_How odd,_ Chizuru thought. _I had no idea that I could enjoy voyeurism so much. When I was watching -_ But this was not the time for such thoughts, as Ayaka's tongue swirled around the foreskin like a dancer on stage.

Chisame, a bit stunned that Ayaka was going there and so quickly, jerked her hand away when that tongue brushed up against it. Ayaka promptly seized the opportunity and opened her mouth wide enough to take the thing's head into it, did so, and begin to suck. Natsumi also pulled away as she saw the class rep doing that.

A glance at Negi's face told Chisame that he'd barely even noticed that they'd stopped. Typical, just typical, she thought bitterly. Doesn't care who's doing what to him as long as - And then she saw tears glistening in Ayaka's eyes as she moved her head back and forth, and she throttled the bitterness momentarily. The crazy girl was so painfully happy right now, it almost hurt to watch.

Perhaps Ayaka picked up on all this, for she pulled back, took a deep breath, and spoke. "I'm being very selfish, aren't I? Please ... let us, let us all do it. That's only, only fair, isn't it?"

Chisame swallowed, and opened her mouth to reply.

"Thank you, Iinchou," said Natsumi. As someone had once observed, it paid to be a little more dere than than tsun. Or at least be faster on the draw. In any event, her head was soon bowed beside Ayaka's, both of them licking at the top of the unit, and its tiny hole.

Chisame found herself wanting to scream. There wasn't enough room for all three of them to crowd around the tiny thing, so she was left hanging there, just watching the other two. It wasn't right! And no matter how much she tried to tell herself that this was all for Negi's benefit, it was obvious that the two girls who did have a clear shot at his thing were really really enjoying having that, while she sat back and rubbed her own -

Wait, when had she started masturbating? She was masturbating in front of Negi! Her left hand was down between her legs, rubbing at the bumps and holes and walls there, while her right was pinching one of her nipples, all in front of the little brat! Of course, he didn't notice, the jerk, being wrapped up in what Ayaka and Natsumi were doing to him, not that she wanted him to look at her and see what she was doing for want of him, not that she did want him and -

Then she felt firm hands resting on her butt.

"Oh, Chisame-san," cooed Chizuru's voice from behind her, as the motherly girl's breasts pressed against her shoulder blades. "That's so sad, seeing you sitting there masturbating like this. It's just not right."

"Well, well, well, I mean, this is all for Negi's benefit, right?" Chisame stammered. "It's not about, uh, me, or -"

"But it's only natural to want to feel good, isn't it?" Chizuru continued to murmur right into her ear as her hands slowly slid from Chisame's buttocks to her hips. "Everyone likes to feel good, after all. It's the most basic of all human urges."

_Oh, no, not this!_ thought Chisame with the part of her mind that wasn't busily panicking. _This is just like Haruna beneath Library Island!_

* * *

><p>There'd been a few rumors about Naba, and Chisame couldn't help hearing them. Frankly, she'd been inclined to dismiss them, thinking that they'd gotten her confused with a certain similarly named Student Council directive, who did things that encouraged those sorts of stories. But now they were naked together, and Chizuru's hands were moving down Chisame's hips, and there didn't really seem to be any possible doubt that her intentions were -<p>

And then Chizuru made her intentions perfectly clear, and while they were apparently somewhat different from what Chisame had been expecting, that wasn't much of a comfort. For her intention appeared to be to pick Chisame up and hold her in mid-air as she stood up and walked over to Negi's head.

_How in the hell is she this strong!?_ Chisame thought bewilderedly. She was too terrified to try and wiggle free, much less voice a protest.

"Oh, Negi-kuun," Chizuru cooed as she reached her destination. "It's very selfish to just lie back and let people do things to you. Now, sometimes very selfish people can be lovable nonetheless ... but you don't want to be that sort of person, do you?"

"Uh, uh, well," Negi managed to get out.

"Of course not," Chizuru agreed, having learned that it was easiest to get people to agree when they had no idea was going on and distracted by other matters. A very selfish but nonetheless lovable person had taught her that. And now she put that theory into practice by slowly lowering Chisame's hindquarters towards Negi's face. "So you need to start doing unto others," she told him.

"Wait, no, this isn't, this is all for him, not for -"

"Mm-hm, shut up, dear." She pressed Chisame's vulva to his mouth. "Start licking, Negi-kun. Actually, you might also want to try tilting your head back so that your tongue can reach the little starfish that's just behind this - you're looking at it, right? She'll really like that."

"What are you telling him to dooooo?" Chisame protested as Negi began to follow Chizuru's advice.

"I would think, after having him live with you for so long, that you'd enjoy having him being a bit of a kiss-ass, Chisame-san," Chizuru murmured coolly, and just loud enough for Chisame to hear.

_Gahhhh!_ Chisame thought. More coherent observations temporarily escaped her.

_Gahhhh!_ Ayaka thought, watching this from below as she licked at the unit while Natsumi experimented with sucking. However, her observations quickly achieved coherence. _That lucky wench, to be licked in that manner by Negi-sensei's cute tongue! And the betrayal, too! _The way that Chizuru had just gone and picked Chisame up and carried her about, and was now pressed up against the other girl, and whispering into and maybe even licking her ear,_ and and and why are my thoughts going in this direction?_

_Wow,_ thought Natsumi, with what even she realized was unusual coherence. _Chisame is really enjoying herself. Having a boy do that to you must feel really, really good, if someone so usually frowny-faced is liking it that much._ The hand that wasn't below her lips, on Negi-sensei's dick - for Natsumi had no objection to slang - crept down between her own legs to start petting her kitten.

_Gahhhh!_ Negi thought. _It's, it's about to, I should really warn them, somehow, but, but my mouth, it's full, and, and - gahhhh!_

Just as Natsumi relinquished her liplock on the top of his thing to begin sliding down the right side of it, carefully avoiding bringing her tongue into contact with the class rep's tongue, it convulsed, before shooting forth, in quick succession, three torrents of a gooey white substance up into the air, from whence it rained down on all five who were gathered closely together at the side of the pool.

_This is Sensei's semen. It's really happening,_ thought Ayaka as some of the fluid dripped into her mouth. And then she thought it again, and again and again and again. The words ran around inside her skull, capering madly and laughing their figurative heads off. All the while, she crouched there with a very odd smile on her face.

Meanwhile, Natsumi was looking down at the mild mess that had fallen on her. She'd heard vague rumors that this stuff was supposed to be good for one's skin, but somehow she doubted it was going to do anything for her freckles. It didn't smell too bad, at least. She wondered how it tasted. But not enough to bring it up to her mouth, unlike some people.

"Some people", of course, was how Natsumi was thinking of Chizuru, who had delicately rubbed a finger against where it had landed on her cheek, then just as delicately brought the finger tip to her mouth and licked at it. _I am tasting the emission of a ten year old boy_, she thought calmly. _This is beyond any doubt the most depraved thing I've ever done. _And yet all she felt was a certain wonder as to what it would be like to drink from the source, and amusement at the sight of - wait.

For her part, Chisame barely noticed the white rain dropping on her, as her attention was utterly given to the strange sensations that Negi's tongue was provoking as it slid and pressed and gently caressed her nether areas. It was a vaguely familiar sensation; she'd felt like this once when she'd been driven to masturbate after realizing just how many people were out there watching and thinking and probably masturbating themselves to pictures of Chiu. And yet that had only like this, for there was also a feeling of a complete loss of control that was utterly unlike anything she'd ever felt before.

She didn't want to like it. She thrived on control. The whole purpose of Chiu was to allow her to control the way that people saw her, after all. And every step she'd taken into the magical craziness that was her life had been taken with the intention that she could learn how to control the craziness so it wouldn't bother her quite so much. But nonetheless, there was something wonderful about just letting go ...

Of course, she was promptly reminded that letting go could be somewhat painful. For Chizuru released her grip on her so that she also slumped down to the deck beside Negi's body, allowing him to breathe freely, but the speed of the slump was enough to provoke a mild "Ouch" from Chisame.

Chizuru paid her no mind. "It's still erect," she murmured as she gazed down at what was still erect. Good grief, did the boy actually have some sort of condition? Priapism, in one so young? This was no laughing matter!

Ayaka managed to regain enough self-possession to lift her head and look at the still erect member. "Goodness," she said, clearly startled. Siesta hadn't mentioned anything about this, but maybe it was something the experienced woman had simply assumed that Ayaka would automatically understand. "Does it only go down if it has experienced actual intercourse?"

The question hung in the air for a few moments.

_This time, I have to say something,_ thought Chizuru. _Their confusion about the function of the male organism has passed out of the realm of innocent folly and into dangerous territory. Yes, yes, I will say something._

"That could be..." And then she trailed off, unsure of how to express the notion beyond that.

_What is wrong with me?_

"Very well, then I will, for Negi-sensei's sake, take this burden -" said Ayaka as she started to get to her feet.

"Um, no, wait, Iinchou ... you shouldn't have to do that," Natsumi interrupted as she also started to get to her feet. "You have a responsibility to your family, and you should save yourself for marriage, so I -"

"Don't be absurd, Natsumi-chan," Ayaka interrupted right back. "Among persons of my class, it is well understood that marriage is about finance and diplomacy, not such trivial considerations. But they are far more important among people such as yourself, so -"

"But I'm probably never going to get married, because I'll be pursuing a career in the theatre, so there won't be a chance to get married, and anyway theatre people don't care about that sort of thing, so I should be -"

"But it's far too great a sacrifice to ask that of you, Natsumi-chan." _Hiss!_ went Ayaka's eyes.

"Oh, no, the sacrifice would be far greater for you, Iinchou." _Myaaa!_ went Natsumi's eyes.

_Good grief, they're actually on the verge of having a catfight about this,_ Chisame thought wearily. Who'd have expected Natsumi to be this tough-minded? The situation would have been so much easier if there was someone sweet and biddable involved instead of these two. Someone like maybe Honya? Chisame shook her head, realizing that girl would be too shy for this sort of thing.

* * *

><p>While the oh-so polite build-up to the inevitable slapping and hair-pulling continued, and with Chizuru watching in distracted confusion, Chisame rose up, unnoticed by any of them. "Okay," she said softly as she looked down at Negi from where she stood over him. "Negi... let's feel good together, all right?"<p>

"Okay," Negi said faintly.

And then, before anyone could do anything, she quickly sat down, using her hands to draw his thing up into her thing on the first try. She flinched, expecting the pain associated with first times that she'd heard about, but it was strangely absent. She briefly wondered whether he was just too small to break the barrier, but she could feel it pressing up against her insides, so warmly.

The sensation of warmth overpowered everything else. It made her fall forward over Negi, so that their faces were up against each other, and she found herself kissing him again. More deeply than when they'd established their pact. Their tongues rubbed together, even as his thing rubbed against her as her hips shifted over his.

Pulling away, with difficulty, she found herself gasping, "Does it, does it feel good, N-Negi?"

"Y-yes," he stammered. "It's much, much better than the other things."

_GHRHAR!_ thought Ayaka.

_GHRHAR!_ thought Natsumi.

_Oh, he really needs better training in how to handle these sorts of situations,_ thought Chizuru with weary annoyance. Mastering that feeling, she focused on Chisame for the moment. "And how do you feel, Chisame-san? Does it hurt?"

"It's, it's -" Her natural impulse to deny that she felt good about anything or anyone warred with the feeling that an honest answer was called for. "It's not painful, not really at all," she stammered out.

That was perhaps not all that surprising, given all the physical activity that she'd been through since Negi came into their lives, probably more than she'd experienced in the previous fourteen years combined. Her hymen could easily have broken without her even realizing it.

"And it's, it's strange," Chisame continued. "But... even though, he's inside me, it's like I'm the one inside h-him, because we're feeling the same thing, and it's, it's - huh?"

The blonde head at her right breast pulled back. **"I WANT IN,"** Ayaka growled, before she returned to suckling at the nipple and teasing at the union of Chisame and Negi's bodies with her fingers. It stood to reason, didn't it, that if Chisame could have this sort of union with Sensei by doing this, then by doing things with her, Ayaka would be doing them with both of them and experience that union too. It was simple logic!

And Chizuru clearly agreed with her logic, because she had bent down to begin mirroring Ayaka's actions on the other side of Chisame's body. Well, sort of mirroring. Actually, Chizuru seemed quite a bit more confident in the way that she licked and nipped at the meat of Chisame's breast, and the movements of her hand seemed more certain and sure. It was as though...

Well. It wasn't any of Ayaka's business if she did this sort of thing. And after all, Siesta had told her that men rather enjoyed watching that sort of thing, as long as they got to participate eventually. From the rather stunned look on sensei's face, that was the case. Doubtless Chizuru had some experience in the area, that was all. And now Ayaka had some experience, and that was all. She certainly didn't have any thoughts about what it would be like to do this with any annoying monkey girls or -

"You're drooling again," Chizuru said as she pulled away momentarily.

"You're both drooling," Chisame complained. "You're ... both drooling ... all over my tits ... and your hands ... keep me from ... moving up and down ..." That was all that she could get out before her eyes went wide behind her glasses, as one of them slipped a finger up into her alongside Negi's hardness.

"Then I g-guess it's up to me," Negi said quietly.

"Huh?"

He began to move his own hips, beneath hers, pushing up and then pulling back. Not too quickly, and not with a great deal of force, but nonetheless he was moving, and Chisame was baffled at his experience. _How does he know to do this? He was a virgin until a few minutes ago, right? And he's only twelve! How does he know -_

The finger inside of her, the one rubbing against her walls and Negi's thing, began to move even faster, preventing Chisame from further considerations along this line. She made a few half-formed protests as both penetrations proceeded, but no one seemed inclined to heed her expressed requests to slow down or cut it out.

It was Negi who finally replied to them. "But, but Chisame... right now... you look so pretty..."

Tears began to gather in her eyes as she groaned. "Oh, you little Casanova wannabe, you upstart, you you you -" But whatever else she might have called him was lost in the scream that suddenly came out of her throat.

Whether it was the mouths at her nipples, the hands on her lower body, that finger up in her or Negi's dick, Negi's sweet little dick that he clearly knew how to use, she didn't know and was well past caring. But something flipped the breaker that was holding back another orgasm, this one even more violent and exhausting than the one his tongue had given her. She rocked back until she thought her back was almost going to break, and screamed her pleasure to the ceiling.

And almost as an afterthought, her muscles and the pressure of the finger made Negi shoot another load up into her. The wet sensation within her made her rise up again and fall back, lying on the floor with her hands over her face, trembling with release and confusion.

Delicately, Chizuru raised one of her fingers to her mouth and slid it in up to its last knuckle.

_Wow,_ thought Natsumi, as she watched, and rubbed herself absently. _Just wow._

_Mine,_ thought Ayaka. "Oh, dear, Negi-sensei, it still hasn't gone down!" she said, doing her level best to sound upset and not really succeeding.

"What?" Chisame managed to gasp, lifting the hands off of her eyes to see that, yes, what had been erect was still erect. "Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!" she groaned.

Natsumi started to stumble forwards to where Negi was half-lying, half-sitting on the deck. "Well, um, since I think I was going to win the argument earlier, I'll -"

"Don't be ridiculous, Natsumi-chan, I was well on my way to winning you over and -" Ayaka interjected as she also headed towards Negi's slumped position.

"AHEM," rasped Chizuru, not moving at all except to raise a hand to her mouth.

_Oh, no_, thought Natsumi and Ayaka, their thoughts moving more or less in complete synchronicity. _I thought she was going to just stay back and watch, and maybe, um, well, anyway, if she's going to assert herself, she'll walk right over us and -_

With the hand that wasn't covering her mouth, Chizuru slowly raised up a finger - the same finger that she'd just licked clean a few moments ago, and pointed it at Ayaka. Before Natsumi could say a word in protest, though, Chizuru began to speak.

_"Dore ni shiyou kana, tenno kami-sama no, iu toori ni, itashimashi you ne, peko peko aburamuushi,"_ she recited, moving the finger from Ayaka to Natsumi on each syllable of the children's poem. The final syllable saw it pointing straight at Natsumi.

"Thank you, Chizu-nee!" Natsumi shouted, spontaneously hugging her roommate, who smiled and hugged back, resisting the temptation to give Natsumi's cute little butt a nice firm squeeze again.

"Wait, isn't the mu in 'aburamushi' a short vowel rather than a long one?" Ayaka asked, frowning.

Chizuru looked at her patiently and in silence.

"... I am obviously mistaken," Ayaka said after a gulp.

"Um, um, Natsumi-san," Negi said, once the girl backed away from Chizuru and resumed her slow half-crawl towards him. "I'm sure that all this to have taken care of the poisons, so that I'll be okay for a while, so you don't have to do any of this..." He trailed off as he saw her face.

"Yes, I know, but Sensei, I want to do it," Natsumi said as she got closer. Like many statements, it was somewhere between a lie and a truth, for she was actually a bit frightened, but determined to conquer her fears this time. Thinking of this, she continued. "Actually, actually, I wanted to say this when we went on that, that trip to the temple in Kyoto, and then to the Governor's ball, but both, both times, I was too scared and upset and..."Deeeeep breath. "I like you, Sensei!"

"Eh?" Negi said, eyes becoming black circles.

_Only he would be surprised to get a confession like that at a time like this,_ Chisame mused from where she was still lying on the floor.

"I, I don't expect an answer, Sensei," she said, as she closed the last of the distance. "I know that I'm not your type. I'm not anyone's type. I wish I was braver, and smarter, and sweeter, and had a higher voice, and less freckles, and bigger - well, and all sorts of things, but I'm the one who's here, now, so I'm going to help you, sensei. Because I like you."

And then she was on top of him, and reaching back to fumble with his thing and press it up against her entrance, and pushing back with her hips.

"Nagh!" Natsumi said, trembling in obvious pain.

"Ah!" Negi cried, recovering from his stunned paralysis. "Natsumi-san! Am I hurting you? We'll stop, it -"

"It's okay! It's okay!" she said, words escaping from between clenched teeth. "It really doesn't hurt all that much!" she lied, feeling the faint flow of blood on her thighs.

"Okay, then," Negi said. He began to somewhat hesitantly pump up at her. But the look of obvious pain and anxiety on her face didn't really diminish, and even someone who wanted to believe that everyone was always completely honest and forthright with him couldn't really miss the signs.

"We, we should stop," Negi said as he suited his actions to his words.

"No, no, Sensei, it's okay, this is for your -" Natsumi started to say.

"Natsumi-san," Negi said, lifting a hand up to gently touch her face, which was spattered with tears. "I don't want to hurt someone who likes me."

That made the tears worse. "It's okay, I'm telling you, it's not like I matter all that much -"

"Natsumi," he interrupted. "You matter a lot to me." It was the truth, because they all did. And he lifted his head to kiss her lips, not too deeply, but soundly.

She moaned into the kiss, and felt a strange quivering below as she did. And as she slid off of him, there was a sudden strange wetness there, too.

"Uh?" Natsumi said as she looked down at the whiteness. "Sensei, did you -?"

"I guess," he said, uncertainly.

_He did that when we stopped doing it,_ Natsumi thought confusedly. _Should that make me feel good or bad?_

* * *

><p>Ayaka was practically shaking as she crawled over to Negi while Natsumi sort of rolled away from him. "It's my turn, right, Sensei?"<p>

"Um, well," Negi said, glancing down at his unit. It was drooping but still what most people would probably call erect. The closeness of Ayaka's form and the equally naked need in her eyes was raising it up from that, in any event. But he nonetheless felt obligated to at least try. "I really don't think -"

"But it's my turn," Ayaka said, with a note of plaintiveness in her voice.

"But, well, you know, I've, I've done this three times already this evening, and -"

"Senseiiiii," Ayaka whined. "Do you really not care about me at all, then?"

"That's not true at all!" he objected anxiously. "But -"

"Then fuck me! Fuck me fuck me fuck me pleeeease?" she asked, hands clasped in front of her breasts and eyes swimming with tears right on the edge of trickling down her cheeks.

Negi still held back, both because he was a bit stunned at the sudden profanity from the incredibly proper young woman and because he was really unsure about all of this. But then he felt a pair of firm hands pushing his shoulders up from where he lay looking at Ayaka on her knees.

"I think you'd better do as she requests, Sensei," said Chizuru, and if she was experiencing any of the mild dismay she'd shown earlier at his interactions with Ayaka, it didn't appear on her face. As with another beautiful woman, her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.

"Well," Negi gulped. "All right, then."

"Yaaay!" Ayaka cheered giddily, clapping her hands for a moment, before she lay down and spread her legs and arms, looking up at him with a blissful expression on her face. "Come to me, Sensei," she said breathily.

This was a bit different than anything he'd done up to this point; every previous encounter had been with the female atop him, rather than vice versa. But despite his anxieties, he was able to complete the required maneuvers, lodging his unit within Ayaka's tight crevice. He couldn't avoid giving a grunt as he did so, however.

"Is it good?" she asked somewhat anxiously.

"Yes, it's, it's just very tight, much tighter than the others."

_What?_ thought Chisame.

_Whaaaaat?_ thought Natsumi. _I was a virgin, for Pete's sake!_

_Score one for Kegel exercises! I knew they'd come in handy someday!_ thought Ayaka. _Thank you, Roberta-san! Thank you, Siesta-san!_

Eventually, Negi began to work his hips, pushing the unit back and forth within her. Owing to the class representative's height, he wasn't able to bring his face up to hers, and their positioning didn't allow her to bend herself so that she could come down to him. So his head rested at the level of her breasts, and to keep his mouth occupied, he took one of the nipples in his mouth.

"Aaah!" Ayaka cried out as he did so, her legs swinging up to wrap around his waist and cross at the ankles below his butt. "It feels so, so good for you to be doing that, Negi-sensei! Like, like you're nursing at me! Like a little brother would!"

"Eh?" Negi asked, pausing momentarily.

"I didn't say anything!" Ayaka lied in between gasps of pleasure.

"She has some very strange ideas about what brothers and sisters do for each other, doesn't she?" Natsumi asked Chisame.

"There's all sorts of families, I guess," Chisame agreed.

Chizuru refrained from comment.

Ayaka's cries of obvious enjoyment continued, growing both higher and more frequent. Negi pushed up against her once more, and those cries reached a crescendo as Ayaka achieved her orgasm... and wetness engulfed Negi's lower body.

"Oh!" Negi said, looking down at where their bodies met.

Ayaka went white. "Oh, no. No, please. Tell me that I didn't urinate on you!"

"Um, w-well," Negi said.

Chizuru came over and took a quick sniff. "No, it's not urine. You made her squirt, Sensei."

"Women can do that?" Negi and Ayaka asked in surprised chorus.

"Some of them, sometimes," Chizuru confirmed. She sniffed again. "And some of it is also semen, I believe."

"Oh, Sensei, you've given me a precious gift!" Ayaka said, wrapping him up in a tight hug.

"Yes, let's just hope you don't get another precious gift nine months from now," Chizuru added, just a bit dryly.

Ayaka went white again. Actually, so did Chisame and Natsumi.

"What are you talking about?" Negi asked, confused again. He became rather pale and quiet himself once Chizuru explained what she meant by a precious gift. As it happened, the girls recovered before he did.

"We're in big trouble, aren't we?" Natsumi asked in a tone of doom.

"Way to understate things," Chisame groaned. "Even if we're not, well, if anyone finds out about this, we're probably going to go to jail for corrupting a minor. And while I'm sure that some of us have lawyers that will keep them out of jail -"

"My family will probably disown me, actually," Ayaka gloomily predicted.

"Yes, that will probably happen to me too," Chizuru lied. Actually, her father would likely be rather proud of her, though upset that she didn't get it on tape.

"- well, anyways," Chisame sighed. "The first thing we must do is preventing Arika-sama from ever learning about this, because -"

The baths' door slid open then, and with an unholy shiver running up her spine, Chisame saw Arika Anarchia Entheofushia's figure appearing in the entrance, clad in nothing but a pink towel around her body, another one wrapped around her bunched up hair, and an evil smile. Everything about her was ominous now, even the handbasket under her arm, which the girls imagined as being filled with arcane magical torture instruments rather than common bath items.

"Oh, hello, Mother," Negi casually waved at her. "Ahhh, this has a reasonable, logical explanation, you'll see. I was -"

"Putting my teachings to good use?" the woman smirked. "Oh, my son, I'm so proud that you have been such a quick learner. You truly have the drive of the Ostian family. And I am certainly glad I was casually passing over on my way to take a bath after my discussion with your sister."

"S-S-Sister?" Ayaka gulped, her mind automatically choosing to focus on that detail rather than worrying about Arika-sama killing her, or the rather disturbing implications behind the statement concerning those 'teachings'. "N-N-Nekane-san?"

"Why, no," Princess Arika said. "I mean Asuna, actually. It is a long and complex, often sordid, story, but from what I witness, I assume you are all ready for it."

Now Ayaka did what Natsumi had done as soon as Arika showed up, and fainted on top of the small actress.

Chizuru sighed.

* * *

><p>Before anyone was able to explain anything, however, and after waking both Sleeping Beauties up, Arika-sama insisted on everybody start by bathing, to take care of certain odors she could detect drafting from their persons. To Chisame's predictable immediate question, she only nodded and said, "Yes. A bath. Together."<p>

"Um, sure thing…" said Negi, before turning towards Chizuru and asking her, clearly reluctant to bring it up, but compelled by his strange sense of propriety, "Chizuru-san, do you want to -"

"Oh, thank you, Sensei," she said graciously. "But I think you've had more than enough for one night. And anyway, we don't have any onion stalks with us, so I wouldn't be able to really enjoy myself."

"Eh?" Negi asked, as Ayaka and Natsumi both (they thought surreptitiously) rubbed their rears with disturbed expressions on their faces.

"Let's just get cleaned up and get out of here," said Chisame, who had gotten the implications of that remark and didn't want to dwell on them.

Immediately after finishing a bath Arika thought to be too fast, the six headed towards the dorms, where they could discuss those matters with greater freedom. Chisame, Natsumi and Ayaka marched with the attitude of prisoners walking towards the execution platoon, while Chizuru marched with a tranquil and confident air to herself. Negi walked very close to his mother, his head low.

"Hey, g'd evening," Kotaro said as he jogged past them in the hallway, heading back to the room he shared with Kobushi and Fujiyoshi after one of the night patrols the Headmaster had assigned him as part of his community service.

Ayaka only growled fiercely at him. Chisame huffed. Chizuru gave him a slight nod. Natsumi didn't even seem to notice his presence. Arika smiled at him.

"Good evening, Kotaro-kun," Negi greeted him politely, not really looking at him, since for once he was in no mood to talk with him. That didn't go unnoticed for the wolf boy, who stopped for a moment to look at them, curiously. And then his nose twitched, taking deep and concise inhalations.

Abruptly, Kotaro froze in place, eyes wide.

"What's happening?" Negi also stopped, a bit startled. "Kotaro-kun?"

Slowly, Kotaro walked towards them, eyes narrowing, sniffing as he approached. Abruptly, it occurred to Negi that Kotaro's sensitive nose might detect -

"Oh. Holy. Shit," Kotaro said, eyes wide open once more.

"... why are we being punished for badly taking a shower we never should have taken in the first place?" Chisame asked of no one in particular.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, following some quickly- and quietly-voiced begging (in the cases of Negi and Natsumi) and warnings borderlining on threats (in the cases of the other females) to tell no one of what he'd just learned, Kotaro was on his way, shaking his head in amazement at what a mess Negi had gotten himself into this time. He was honest enough to admit - to himself, <em>never<em> to anyone else - that he was a tiny bit envious of said mess. But just a tiny bit. The overwhelming majority of girls were icky.

"Tadaima," he announced as he entered the apartment he shared with Fujiyoshi Harumi and Kobushi Abiru, passing by Abiru-nee's huge gallery of animal tails framed and hanging from the walls.

"Welcome back, Kotaro-kun," said Harumi-nee from where she was hunchbacked over her drawing board, working on even more of those manga of shirtless boys kissing each other she was obsessed with. "How was your patrol tonight?"

With a tiny minority who were absolutely terrifying. "It was okay," he said, resolving to put what had happened a few moments ago firmly out of his mind. "Chasing that crazy girl with the big ass sword who acts like a cat so she'd go back home, pulling Despair-sensei down his tree, taking a bite at the Chao Bao Zi…" and with that he dropped a bag of takeout on Harumi's board, by her hand.

Negi's mother and Naba-oneesan belonged to that category, just like most students of Despair-sensei (except for Hitou-oneesan, who was normal). That included Harumi-nee and Abiru-nee, and yet they were two of the least terrifying members of that class, compared to monsters like Kafuka-nessan and Kitsu-neesan. Even so, living with them was like sleeping on mined grounds.

It wasn't that Harumi-nee acted cruel or mean most of the time, but there was something about her that could make even Haruna wary, and Kotaro had no choice but trying toalways please her and playing along with her latest designs.

"Won't you need help with your homework again?" she asked, perhaps to thank him for the food, but most likely to subtly tease him once more.

"Nah. Already did it," he explained, negligently. "Where's Abiru-nee?"

"Taking a bath," she answered, and noticing the subtle change in his body posture and expression on hearing that, she asked, "Something wrong?"

Damn that female intuition! It was unwise to lie to one's alpha, especially when those alpha could read you like an open book the second you started lying, but one could _sometimes_ manage to be evasive. "Oh, just thinking about Negi's situation, you know, how he's turned into a grown-up with responsibilities," he said, which was true, just not quite the whole truth. "I wonder if that's gonna make it not so cool for his Ministra."

"Oh, are you jealous, Kotaro-kun?" she purred playfully, crossing those legs that were so long in those shorts that were so short.

"Jealous?" he asked, defensively. "Jealous in which sense?"

"You tell me. Jealous of Negi, or the girls?"

He felt himself blushing intensely, which always was a bad thing and made him feel inferior, weak. And he detested that. "A-Again with those weird things? Why should I be jealous about anyone? For no reason! So I'm not jealous!"

"Hmmm," she said, walking closer and playing with his jet black hair. "So you're satisfied with us? Why, I'm honored, Kotaro-kun. You think so highly of us, placing use even with Negi-kun's fifteen…"

"Ahhhh…"

"Then, when are you taking us to your meetings with Ala Alba? I think we've earned it after all we did in that Magic World. Or is it that we need doing something else…?"

"Gwah?" calmly asked Kotaro. Okay, that description was a complete lie.

"You know," Harumi said, massaging his shoulders. "There must be something Negi-kun's Ministra have done that we haven't yet…"

"Y-You should talk it over with E—talking it with E—" Kotaro began. Harumi, as was her custom, didn't wait for him to finish.

"C'mon, tell me all we have to do!" she pressured him, pressing herself against him. "Don't be shy, Ko—"

And then... silence fell, and lasted for several moments.

It was broken by Harumi's voice once more, only this time sounding utterly unlike her normally confident and cheerful self - rather disturbed, instead. FUJIYOSHI HARUMI, DISTURBED. "Ko-Kotaro-kun?" she asked.

"No!" he said, almost yelling. "No, this is not... it's not what it - I've gotta go!"

"Wait, don't -"

He rushed past Abiru, who was coming out of the shower in nothing save her bandages and a towel around her right arm. "Kotaro-kun? I had no idea you were—" For the dizzying second she could see him zooming past him before he exited the apartment, she had the impression that he hadn't even noticed her, for he seemed intent on running with his hands oddly placed over his crotch, as though covering something.

In the dining room, Harumi, still standing in a position that left her leaning over the table, in a way that would give onlookers a very good glimpse at her cleavage, had an utterly startled look on her face.

"... but you're only twelve," she murmured. "So... why..."

* * *

><p>"So let me see if I have an accurate grasp of this entire situation," Ayaka began, sitting on the opposite side of the kotatsu from Negi and Arika. A perplexed and ghastly pale Chisame and Natsumi sat at Ayaka's sides. Chizuru was seated at the corner. "Asuna-san is your daughter, Arika-sama. And I am, from your accounts, the illegitimate daughter of Negi-sensei's father, the Thousand Master. Which admittedly would explain a few strange details in the stories my mother and Siesta-san have told me, which in turn might explain why I'm not as shocked as I should, for all accounts, be. Or maybe I am simply too numb. And Chisame-san, Siesta-san and Ilyasviel Einzbern-san happen to be our common siblings, as well.<p>

"Because of this blood connection, Evangeline-san might take an interest in myself and Chisame-san, in hopes of using us to end the curse that keeps her bound to this school. So it is important we keep this a secret from her.

"Unrelated to all of this, Arika-sama, you have been encouraging and training Negi-sensei in the erotic arts, encouraging him to form a sexual relationship with us despite the taboo of our status as half-siblings. Have I left anything out?"

"No, I think you've got it all," Arika said. Chizuru was looking off to the side, fully expecting a classic Iinchou outburst, getting herself ready to deal with the fallout. Negi just looked scared.

"Well, then. I have a question, and I hope you will do me the favor of answering it, Arika-sama," Ayaka said calmly.

"Ask," Arika bade her.

"Is Nekane-san also one of Nagi-san's offspring?"

"Eh?" asked Negi, eyes going wide. Asuna's head whipped around to look at Ayaka. That wasn't the question she'd been expecting at all. The words 'have you quite lost your minds' had been much more prominent in her imagination.

"It is possible," Arika allowed. "She is ostensibly the daughter of Nagi's older brother, Seoman, and her mother was actually a childhood friend of them both. He once confessed to me that he had cuckolded his brother, shortly after Seoman's marriage, and Nekane was born around nine months after that. When all of this happened, though, there were no tests to prove or disprove such matters, at least not in the mountains of Wales."

Negi felt stunned. Nekane might actually be his sister, not just a cousin!

"I see," said Ayaka, then picked up the tea cup in front of her and sipped from it.

"You see," said Chisame after a moment.

"Yes, I see," replied Ayaka.

"Are out of your fucking mind!?" Chisame said. "What, there's no commentary about how I'm an absolute and dirty hypocrite for accusing you of being a shotacon for months when I just had sex with a ten year old boy that I already knew was my brother?"

"_We are all out of our fucking minds!-!-!"_ Natsumi despaired, running both hands through her own hair. _"And shotacon!-!-!"_

"I'm eleven," Negi reminded Chisame.

"Twelve, technically," noted Arika mildly.

"Perhaps that's so," Ayaka allowed. "However, for me to insult you on that ground would be the hypocrisy you spoke of, since I have just also violated that taboo, knowingly or not. The ignorance of the laws is no excuse for breaking them, but then, what are laws next to the designs of true love? As for Nekane-san, whether she is my cousin or half-sister is not, I think, actually pertinent. I asked solely to clarify matters."

She finished her tea, lowered it and said, "I want in."

Arika smiled. "Silly child. You already are in."

"What... what in the..." a pale Natsumi gulped, before taking a good direct look at Ayaka's driven expression, and the look Chisame was giving the heiress, a look that spoke clearly of accepting a challenge. A shared stare between them was full of tension, but also a newborn strange sense of communion between two people who had gone too far to back away.

And Natsumi realized she also was one of those people.

"I, I, I, I want in too!" she added, breaking part of the tension with her clumsy intervention.

Arika hummed and slammed her hands together. "Very well. I believe we need establishing some clear terms of coexistence, then."

* * *

><p>Kotaro's frantic escape from Chizuru, and by extension his living quarters, was aimless and thoughtless. Thus, he really couldn't be faulted when his mindless dash, eyes closed and hands firmly clasped on his crotch, led him through -<p>

"EEEEEEE!" Britannian exchange student Shirley Fenette cried as the black haired near-blur passed by right before her face while she was pulling herself up out the swimming pool. "AAAAAAHHHH!" she comically waved her arms for a moment, all balance lost, before falling on her back into the water, splashing in all directions.

Ikoma Minami blinked, cheeks flushed. "Isn't that the brother of one of your classmates, Ookuchi-sempai? Why was he touching his -"

"You'd have to ask Murakami-san," said Akira, looking elsewhere and proving that being nice doesn't mean you have to take bullets for others in vain.

Nyamo-sensei's eyebrow twitched a bit. "I think I'll do just that."

Mizuno Ami-san kept on staring at the speck in the distance that was Kotaro now before realizing her swimming teacher and trainer, and the rest of the girls, were staring at her instead. Then she badly feigned innocence. "Perhaps it's a medical condition?"

"I think I have one now," Shirley-san said from where she floated on her back, mouth clenched aside in a wince of pain.

* * *

><p>"EEEEEEEEE! HENTAIIIIIIII!" the girls through the dresser shrieked as they flung brushes, books, handbags and the occasional wooden sword at the head of the quickly fleeting Kotaro, who to his credit not only didn't even realize he was running through a female dresser, but neither really felt the hits raining all over him.<p>

As soon as he left, the girls rushed to the Kotaro-shaped hole in the back door. "They start younger and younger nowadays, don't they?" Kotegawa Yui frowned. "For shame!"

"Isn't he the little brother of one of your sister's sister-in-law's classmates, Akane-chan?" asked Sayuri-san.

"Maybe. I don't remember," Tendo Akane lied.

Kuga Natsuki looked through the locker he had stumbled through in his run and cursed after noticing a missing item. "Damn that idiot! He took Number Thirty Nine!"

"Eh?" Nao asked her.

* * *

><p>"- you have panties wrapped around your left leg. Why do you have panties wrapped around your left leg?" Ichijou Raku asked the younger boy who had just stopped, breathless, by the Onodera Candy Store.<p>

"- just ... just shut up..." Kotaro panted raspily.

The bespectacled Maiko Shuu looked down at him. "Don't look now, kid, but isn't that a boner, too?"

"AAAAAAA!" Kotaro screamed. "Somehow, it grew worse as I ran! But why? WHYYYYY?!"

* * *

><p>"HUH?!" Chisame, Ayaka and Natsumi all chorused.<p>

"Ara ara ara, didn't I mention it before?" Chizuru asked, in a quite clueless tone. "I researched a bit on the subject, and found the right term isn't 'mourning wood', but 'morning wood'. It tends to happen to young men while waking up, and it's perfectly normal. It'll go down by itself if you just leave it alone."

"H-how... when... why ... HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THIS?!" Chisame screamed.

"I intended to tell you earlier, but you weren't listening at all, and eventually I believe I just forgot it with everything else going on," the Naba heiress piously said. "But well, there isn't any point in crying over spilled milk right now, is it?" And she smiled in a small and adorable fashion.

Chisame loomed over her, a truly vicious and dark aura surrounding her, not too unlike that of Evangeline. "N-A-B-A!"

"Oh, oh, oh my!" Chizuru put a hand on her cheek. There were moments when even her Scary Saintly Smile wouldn't work, and she recognized this as one of them.

As the sounds of violence ensued, Ayaka blushed and closed her eyes, exhaling a loving sigh. "Still, despite everything, I'm so glad my first time could be with Negi-sensei!"

"Y-Yeah, me too." Natsumi blushed even more, lowering her head.

Chisame paused in her current activities, gave them a long and hard look, and then, seeing they meant it, she added her own opinion, glasses growing eye-obscuring again. "I suppose... I suppose there are no better candidates anywhere around here for that kind of... thing..."

Chizuru rose back elegantly, and still smiling in a truly beatific way despite being covered by random bandages and bruises, with an arm in a cast and a black swollen eye. "Oh, and I'm just so happy for all of you," she said, very sincerely.

* * *

><p>Asuna set down her copy of <em>Sexy Nude Older Men<em> with a frown. "There it is again," she said.

Konoka didn't look up from where she was making cooked vegetables for their dinner. "There's what again?" she asked.

"I had the weirdest feeling that something's being taken from me, even if I don't know what it is. Like I'm losing, I don't know, losing protozoanism."

It wasn't always easy dealing with Asuna. You had to work out what word she thought she was using, and often what she thought she meant, and do it fairly quickly, or she'd start pouting. As it happened, though, Konoka had stumbled onto a cheat code fairly early in their acquaintance. "Hmm," she said.

"Maybe I need to become more popular. Maybe that'd help deal with all this," Asuna continued, turning back to her magazine.

"Maybe you should take tips from that Chiu person online," Konoka said carelessly. "She seems pretty popular."

Asuna considered. "Nah, too complicated." And then a flash of inspiration struck her. Yes, it does happen, particularly when the inspiration is being guided by malevolent pink-haired girls with axes. "But I bet I could get popular if I did something to make her unpopular! Yeah! That'd work! I've got a really cool idea for how to do it, too!"

On the roof above, the aforementioned malevolent pink-haired girl with an axe laughed maniacally. "Dance, puppet, dance! I'll have a version of Negimaru in this continuity yet!"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	5. Lesson Four

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Four<strong>.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Seven Years Ago:<strong>_

_When did I stop believing on Santa Claus? Truth be told, it happened when my father took me to a baseball stadium near Christmas. I had never seen so many people together before, so I asked my old man if he had brought me somewhere where everyone in the world (except Mom, not that I could blame the world for not wanting to be with her) had come together. He laughed, simply amused, and told me that no, this was only a very small sample of everyone in our city, who in turn were only a relatively small fraction of all people in Japan, and that was also only a small part of all the people in the world._

_And I felt like shit, because that only hammered into me how small and meaningless I was, and how difficult my dreams of becoming the ruler of the world had just become._

_Then a drunk in a Santa suit, no doubt a mall slave after hours, sat next to us, and he was so much of an ass all through the game, and I was so angry already, I ended up kicking him in the nuts, and he dropped his beard, and I realized Santa Claus wasn't real._

_I'm sorry I couldn't offer a story as interesting as that of the girl in that Gremlins movie._

_Since then, I realized I had to grow the fuck out of my stupid childhood dreams of world domination and finding aliens, espers, time travelers, sliders, and Bigfoot. Eventually, I came to accept a dull, mundane life through my years of studying in Tomobiki Elementary. However, just when I was plowing through middle school like a robot, with no dreams other than reaching the legal age to drink myself to death, he appeared, soaring above the skies of the world, heralding a new age of motherfucking wonders. Most tried to downplay him, trying to explain him away, saying he was nothing but a super soldier made by the US government, or some sort of mutant. Even those accepting his story of being an alien grumbled and said, okay, we had to expect contact with aliens at some point, the world couldn't stop because of it, we had to just accept it and move on._

_But in the end, it made little difference if he was an alien, or mutant, or lab created freak. He was an abnormal, a marvel, a wonder among us, anyway! That was what counted!_

_With my will to live and continue my search for the extraordinary rekindled, I made a formal, way cool announcement to the world as soon as I enrolled in Class 2-E of the fabled Weirdo Magnet Mahora Academy._

_"I am here looking for aliens, time travelers, espers and sliders!" I forgot Bigfoot, but even I am not perfect. "If there's anyone in this classroom fitting any of those categories, please contact me after classes! I have no interest in ordinary people!"_

_The rest of my new class stared at me in what was obviously adoring admiration of my sheer gall and audacity, but simps as they were, no one, not even the old withered fart of a teacher, said anything. Disappointed, I sat down telling myself maybe I should have said 'contact me immediately!' instead, but by then I had realized this class would be another dud. After all, a real denizen of the paranormal or otherworldly would have boldly answered the challenge just as soon as it was issued, not caring about the petty time requirements of a mere mortal like me._

_The next days passed, as boring and bland as ever, and my interest on my new school died quickly. Other than a few abnormalities like kid teachers and a man who couldn't die no matter what, the place seemed even more ordinary and complacent than all my prior schools. I had resigned myself to wait and try again in college, when on a whim, the guy sitting before me, a meathead with blond hair everyone mistook for a delinquent despite actually being only a wuss with foreign genes, casually told me, "If you're so interested in the abnormal, I don't know, why not join a club that investigates it?"_

_"Idiot, do you really think I haven't tried that? But they're all scams, circles of charlatans who do nothing but read magazines, play videogames, and go on little kiddy excursions into the woods."_

_"... huh," the guy scratched his chin vaguely. "Well, maybe you could try creating a club of your own, fitting your ... nah, forget it, I'm just talking nonsense ..."_

_I felt myself rattled by inspiration. Eureka! Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and the apple that fell on Newton didn't need any brains of its own to ignite the spark of genius._

_"That's it!" I stood up. "I'll create my own world-changing society to expose the greatest secrets of the universe!"_

_Since I needed others to fill a membership quota to start the Society, I recruited the guy, one Hasegawa Kodaka, because honestly, it wasn't like he had anything better to do anyway. The poor sap was alone and friendless, and if I didn't help him, he'd actually fall eventually with actual bad company, like that Harima Kenji thug. Besides, I needed someone to carry heavy boxes around. Not that I'm weak or anything, but a President, regardless of gender, must not get their hands dirty with menial tasks._

_Getting the sponsor for our club was easy, as well. All I had to do was finding a poor, unfortunate useful slave of the system with a lot of hopes for the future and the need to exert patronage over someone and make a name for themselves amidst the staff. Lucky me, I found an also friendless and pathetic nun in the Mary Magdalene church associated to the Academy who readily accepted my offer. Sister Sanada Yukariko; as naïve and easy to manipulate as a child, really ... good thing I'm not the evil manipulative type!_

_The local Literature Club was dissolving at the time, so I was able to score their club room, and with it, the last remaining member of their ranks, a Moe Meganeko addicted to reading named Nagato Yuki. She was quiet, obedient and efficient, so I knew she'd be a valuable asset from the moment I met her._

_We still needed one more member to start, though, and the deadline for inscribing new clubs for the school year was almost over, so I had to resort to desperate measures. With no better choices at hand, I accepted a disgusting, asocial, annoying little wench in my class, Mikazuki Yozora, in my inner circle, at least as long as I lacked better alternatives. The little flat bitch acted as first as she didn't want in, despite being obviously attracted to Kodaka, but fortunately, her desperate and sad need to find any actual friends (since all she had was a delusional imaginary friend she often talked to when she thought she was alone) ended up winning her over, and lo! Behold! I had my fourth member, and we could officially start our new and glorious Society to Obliterate Boredom, Ignorance and Conformity from the World with Suzumiya Haruhi! The SOS Brigade, in short._

_I was JUST SO PROUD!_

_Then one night, mysterious letters from 'secret admirers' duped Yozora and lured me to cleverly investigate, which made us both arrive in our classroom near midnight. There, we were attacked by prim and proper, disgustingly sweet and polite Class Rep Asakura Ryoko. With a big-ass knife. And the uber martial arts super fast moves to use it. It was very cool and thrilling, but before she could stab Yozora and do the world a favor, Nagato Yuki appeared out of nowhere and rescued her. Not me, I could have escaped at any time I had wanted. Really._

_Once the immediate threat was over (and after a way cool duel I regret not being able to describe here) Nagato Yuki took us to her quarters, where she dropped a giant bomb on us._

_"I am a Humanoid Living Interface sent by the Data Overmind, just like Asakura Ryoko, and I am here to keep surveillance on the Omega Level Entity known as Hasegawa Kodaka."_

* * *

><p><em>The Present Day:<em>

"All right!" the pretty girl with short brown hair planted her hands at the head of the table. "Today, the SOS Brigade starts preparing its glorious plans for the Mahora Sports Festival in full force! Roll Call of our ranks! Suzumiya Haruhi, President For Life!" She slammed a hand against her own chest, which seemed to bounce slightly for a moment. "Present! Vice President Koizumi Itsuki!"

"Present, Ma'am!" The handsome boy raised a hand with the same perfect smile you rarely see out of advertisements.

"Intelligence Gathering Officer, Nagato Yuki!"

The small and frail looking girl raised a hand without looking up from her book.

"Public Relationships and Director of the Visual Appeal Committee, Kashiwazaki Sena!"

"Present!" the busty blonde raised her hand, then gave Yozora a malicious side glance.

"Intern in Charge of Defense and Maintenance, Mikazuki Yozora!"

"Present, and willing to point out the order of the roll call in no way reflects the importance or rank of the members, otherwise the Meat bags would end up dead last!" Yozora said.

"But it does," Haruhi pointed out, making Sena snicker and Yozora scowl darkly. "Junior Intern Kugimiya Madoka!"

"Ahhh, present!" the younger girl with short black hair said.

"Mascot and Visual Appeal Assistant Asahina Mikuru-chan!"

"P-P-Present and ready!" the girl in Meido attire raised an unsteady hand.

"Intern in Charge of Logistics, Hasegawa Kodaka!" Haruhi finished.

"Here," Kodaka raised his hand with a half-spirited groan.

"Well, I'm glad you could all make it here today!" Haruhi grinned confidently. "Because this meeting is extremely important for the Brigade's future! With our second Academy-wide official event approaching, the Brigade must take advantage of it to further spread our ranks and pursue our objectives! We have grown powerful in numbers as well as capacities since our humble starts, and in a very short time, but that's not nearly enough! We must go, go, go, until we reach true greatness, and we leave our mark forever, not only in Mahora, but the world as a whole!"

Kodaka shuddered slightly to himself, but to his relief, he could see that at least Kugimiya-san was sharing his level of uneasiness. Asahina-san, as expected, had started shaking violently, while everyone else seemed completely unaffected by the start of such a delusional and megalomaniacal tirade.

"Yes, the world is changing at breakneck speed, and to adapt and impose ourselves as an effective force of change, we must be assertive and waste no chances or time!" Haruhi slammed a fist on a handpalm. "You all saw what happened here during the summer, didn't you?"

"Actually, I was in Daddy's Malibu mansion at the time," Sena replied, with the same tone you would say you had been at the supermarket. "Something about major surprise roleplay, right?"

"DEMONS from ANOTHER DIMENSION with FREAKING STRIPPING BEAMS descended from a hole in the sky and raised havoc all across Mahora!" Haruhi shouted with a vehement shake of her head. "Get your facts right before vomiting ignorance upon this sacred precinct, Director Kashiwazaki, or your merit points will drop under Mikazuki's!"

As Sena recoiled with wide blue eyes, it was Yozora's turn to snicker wickedly. "Don't be so harsh to poor Meat, President. I'm sure she's just too shaken over losing a chance to strip in public to think clearly... as clearly as she can, anyway."

"What was that, stupid weasel?" Sena sneered.

"What did you hear, Meat?" Yozora grunted. "You'd have felt at home, flashing your flabby bags everywhere!"

Sena looked at Haruhi while pointing at her hated rival. "How many times did those... _things_ strip this weasel?"

"Four. The most times any of us was hit," Haruhi reported. "Mikuru-chan and Madoka-chan tied at three, Kodaka got tagged once, and Yuki, Itsuki and me all got clear records."

For a moment, the briefest moment, while no one was looking at her, Nagato shook a small fist in circles, without stopping reading or changing her non-expression.

"Regardless, that's inconsequential!" Haruhi said, maybe to ease Yozora's red faced shame as Sena laughed aloud. Maybe. "What matters is, once again, the staff chose to hide the obvious truths behind those astonishing, potentially world changing developments! That's why, for our big Sports Festival project, the SOS Brigade will tackle a tell-all project and enlighten the oppressed, blind masses! Like Plato's benefactor, we will take our imprisoned fellows by hand and pull them out of the cave and into the light! That will make us spearhead heroes for a new age of social enlightenment! And get us TONS of new groupies, too!"

"So, basically," Kodaka said, "you aren't buying anything from the official explanation?"

"Of course I don't, and neither should you!" Haruhi pointed at him. "Everyone knows CGI doesn't work that way! For one, it only works on previously recorded material to display on screens and film, and it can't be projected upon the reality around us! Before you say 'holograms', let me remind you the installation of the massive projectors around the whole Academy necessary for that stunt is something that could not have been done under our noses without those responsible ever being seen! Furthermore, we never saw that supposed equipment being removed, either! Besides, the effects those demons wrecked upon our academic population - that massive sexual harassment and destruction of proper school attire is something that never would have been approved by Japan's academic authorities, making it impossible to be a staged, pointless entertainment exercise, as the lying liars who only ever tell us lies have told us!"

"Well, if anyone is an expert about how far you can go with sexual harassment, that should be you," a bemused Yozora commented.

"Exactly!" Haruhi nodded.

"Okay, let's say we buy your just-as-outrageous explanation," Kodaka sighed, really not in the mood for this shit today. "How do you propose that we expose that massive alien-hell conspiracy without having us mindwiped by Men in Black or killed and stuffed into cement blocks at the end of the river?"

"Tch! What a lack of imagination!" Haruhi disapproved. "We already have a lot of fine filmmaking experience from our Mahorafest smash hit, don't we? We're going to make a second movie, this time detailing the sordid details behind the immoral events rattling our student body! By showing a lot of rattling student bodies! We still have to sell, after all."

"Another movie?" Sena moaned. "Aren't we supposed to be more original than that?"

"Director Meat!" Haruhi shot her a killer glare, as Yozora exploded in laughter. "Those points keep going lower and lower! You're three demerits away from falling under the Weasel!" And here Yozora stopped laughing. "Obviously, we're still original and cool as long as we don't keep redoing the same themes, even if we're using the same media. No one accuses Kubrick of being a hack just because he kept resorting to movies as a mean of expression, right?"

"Excuse me, but who is Kubrick?" asked Madoka.

Ignoring her altogether, Haruhi said, "That's why, after the science fiction speculation of 'The Adventures of Asahina Mikuru, Time Patrol Waitress', we're going one step further in terms of all kinds of realism, with our next, biggest, baddest documentary extravaganza - 'The Adventures of Asahina Mikuru, Time Patrol Defender, Against Sena, Queen of Otherdimensional Demons!'"

They all stared at her. Even Nagato.

Haruhi planted her fists on her own hips and chuckled. "Twice the excitement! Twice the boobage! Bigger, rawer, bolder! I see I've left you speechless just from the promo pitch!"

Finally, Yozora grinned. "Well... if you're shooting for a documentary, at least you got the right facts about who's the Queen of the Demons. That would also explain why she wasn't here at the time, better than that lame Malibu mansion excuse."

A furious Sena jumped on her.

* * *

><p><em>"So you're an alien?" I had to ask, feeling the unmatched sense of wonder and excitement I had been looking for my whole life. At my side, that Philistine Yozora only muttered something to herself about overly complex pranks and someone taking her for an idiot. <em>

_After an extremely short pause, Nagato answered. "I suppose, allowing for the shortcomings of your language, that would be an acceptable term to label my physical manifestation. Just like Asakura Ryoko, I do indeed come from beyond this planet, although technically not from another planet. You could think of my site of origins as an alternate pocket plane of existence folded into this universe's subspace. We were generated by the Data Overmind as surveillance and control units tasked with keeping your reality stabilized at any necessary costs. Of course, there are several different schools of thought on how to achieve such goals, and Asakura Ryoko followed the line of though inclined to consider you disruptive factors due to your proximity to Hasegawa Kodaka."_

_"Are you trying to tell us she was jealous of us because we were close to her alien crush?" asked the Philistine, obviously unable to grasp the point unless it was hammered into her._

_Nagato was very polite. "Negative. Our interest on Hasegawa Kodaka has nothing to do with emotional leanings, sexual attraction, or a desire to establish what you call affective links. Hasegawa Kodaka has been labeled a potentially destructive entity of unknown reach and potential, and we are trying to gauge him while making sure he, consciously or not, does not destroy your plane of existence. And possibly even ours."_

_"Hmm," Yozora pondered, still clearly not believing her, despite all we had seen less than one hour before. How dense could she be? "I was aware of his reputation as a delinquent, but destroying the universe? You're giving him far too much credit, Sis."_

_"I don't joke," Nagato plainly said. _

_"Never mind her! I believe you!" I said, grabbing her small, cold hands. _

_Yozora groaned and looked aside, muttering something else, something definitely unpleasant, to herself._

_"What do we have to do?" I asked._

* * *

><p><em>"We need someone to supply the Moe hook used by all great institutions appealing to today's youth!" I explained as I pushed the huge-tittied, baby-faced gorgeous Sempai into the meeting room. I could see Kodaka's eyes widening, which had to mean I had played my cards right and picked someone who would appeal to his base male sensibilities. "So here she is! Ta-daaaa! I met her this morning in the bathroom! Her name is Asahina Mikuru from Class 3-11! Since I'm the Athletic Sexy type, Yuki-chan is the Brainy Unnoticed type and Yozora is the Unappealing type, she'll fill the Kawaii Defenseless type that moves hormonal teenage Neanderthals to follow trends, causes and social tendencies!"<em>

_"You... You're joking, aren't you?" asked Kodaka. "Please excuse, ah, President Commander Suzumiya here, miss... I don't know what she told you, but -"_

_"S-She didn't tell me anything!" Mikuru whined. "She, she only was waiting for me after classes, grabbed me, and dragged me here!"_

_Kodaka gave me a stunned look. "That ... that's kidnapping!"_

_"Do you realize how stupid you just sounded?" Yozora asked him._

_"Tsk!" I shook my head. "She's right for once, you're being stupid! If this was kidnapping, I'd have resorted to violence, because it'd have been against her will! And since she didn't oppose me, it obviously wasn't against her will! Otherwise, she'd have kicked me in the stomach, bashed my head against a wall and then slammed me with a blunt object for good measure!"_

_"THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE!" cried Yozora and Kodaka._

_I sighed. "You two don't get it no matter what, do you? Hey, Mikuru-chan, do you belong to any clubs?"_

_"C-C-Calligraphy! But, why -?"_

_"Quit it!" I commanded. "The SOS Brigade demands for absolute dedication! You can't serve Yawheh and Moloch at the same time!"_

_"You can't force someone to quit her clubs just to join ours!" Kodaka protested._

_Mikuru gasped aloud, looked down, and said, "V-V-Very well ... I'll do it ..."_

_Kodaka and Yozora were left wordless, which always is a good thing._

_Nagato Yuki-chan briefly looked up from her book, gave us a subtle nod, and returned to her maddeningly heavy reading._

_It made Mikuru-chan swallow hard._

* * *

><p><em>Then, one day, she showed up at our doorstep.<em>

_"I want to join your Club!"_

_Despite the phrasing, it was more of a command than a suggestion._

_Who was this strange person who disrupted our convenient scheming to save the world? She had shown out of nowhere, and I didn't remember seeing her anywhere at Mahora before. Yozora disliked her from the moment she first saw her. She was extremely beautiful, but that only made her more suspicious. Maybe she was another Data Entity, from another faction? We had been warned by Yuki such things could happen, in this key crossroads of time and space. _

_But judging from the even more boring than usual way Yuki kept on reading, I quickly figured out such wasn't the case._

_"My name is Kashiwazaki Sena!" she announced herself, chin high. "I just transferred from St. Chronica Academy, and I want to make friends here! Well? This is a club to make friends, isn't it?"_

_We quickly debated it behind the meeting room, as Sena-san was made to wait outside by Yozora, much to the blonde's anger and offense. She obviously had read our pamphlets and gotten a completely wrong idea from them, which made Yozora, again, protest she should have been the one to redact them. Still, when Yuki's extremely quick computer research told us she was the daughter of industrialist Kashiwazaki Tenma, CEO of Pegasus Corporation, I knew we couldn't let her pass. We had an alien, a deity of sorts and a time traveler, which was all kinds of neat and cool, but we still lacked someone with the bags of money needed for effective sponsorship of our activities. And hell, there was no way she could be more of a dead weight than Yozora._

_"She's problems," Yozora concluded. "So she's out. No questions about it."_

_I rasped. "Excuse me? Who named you, the third lowest ranked member, as President?"_

_"And who named you, the President, as a tyrant who could do anything you want without consultation?" she wondered._

_"Oh, so you want democracy? Well, we can have democracy!" I snapped my fingers. "So let's put it to a vote! Who's against giving Ms. Useful Deep Pockets temporary test membership?"_

_Yozora quickly raised her hand._

_"Aaaaaand all those in favor of giving the poor pretty lonely rich girl a chance?" I hummed._

_I raised my hand, as did Yuki, and after a moment, Kodaka. I stared at Mikuru, and with yet another whine, she nodded and raised a trembling hand of her own._

_Yozora became a white paper figure. One of the most satisfactory moments in my life._

_"Well, it's decided then!" I patted my hands together. "Of course, anyone who is against the wishes of the wise majority is always free to look for different venues of expression."_

_"... fine!" Yozora hissed after several moments of fighting against her rage. "The Meat-Bag can stay! For now! But be warned, I'm going to make her stay here Hell on Earth. If she can't take it, then she can't be of any use to us later on, so I'll do my best to prove her lack of worth for the ... cause. Okay?"_

_Again, it was a statement of something she'd do anyway instead of a question for our approval. So I humored her, and we all nodded, except Mikuru, who simply kept her gaze locked on her own small feet and shiny shoes, making tiny cutesy noises of discomfort._

_Yozora walked out and shouted, "Hey, Meat-Bag! I was outvoted, so your worthless fat ass is in! For now!"_

_One fine golden eyebrow twitched, foreboding disaster. "... what?! What is that rude way of addressing me, Weasel-faced harlot!"_

_"What did you call me, brainless mass of silicone?!"_

_"What, are you deaf on top of being an uncouth barbarian, two-bit thug!?"_

_While no doubt it was nice for Kodaka to hear someone else being called a thug for a change, it was painfully clear he couldn't help feeling a tingle of doom anyway, as the shouting went higher and higher. It made me smile._

_And so our secretive fake organization to change the world hiding a much more important organization to save the world gained its first normal member._

_'Normal' being a relative term, of course._

_I don't count as normal, since I'm too awesome!_

_Oh, and the other remaining person was a subnormal._

* * *

><p>She was the living embodiment of buxom, raw sexuality, sitting in an obscene way, clothed in little more than skimpy rags and elaborate jewelry, cross-legged on a sinister throne made of human skulls. With a cruel, lustful smile on her full pink lips, Empress Sena of the Demon World listened to the report of the humble dark haired demon girl in a more modest tiger skin bikini who knelt before her with a low head and a tribal spear in a hand.<p>

"The human world is prime for conquest, Your Ever Living Highness," the scout soldier eagerly reported. "Mankind has grown fat and self-complacent since the days of yore, and has forgotten the primal pleasures of war and carnage. They have forgotten how to live! How to die! And the time for us to remind them has come!" She accentuated her point with a vigorous shake of a fist.

"Excellent, Soldier Madoka," the sultry vision of Amazonian beauty purred, slinking to the side in a way that accentuated the slight bounce of her large breasts. She reached over to stroke the sighing soldier's hair with a hand. "Your years of espionage amongst the mortals have paid off soundly. Soon, we will crush the realm of human flesh under our bare heel! The men will be carted off to Death by Snu-Snu, and the women will bear our children! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" she laughed madly, gesturing with both hands. Standing on the throne, she shouted, "Rejoice, my minions, Children of the Wet Darkness! Soon we will march among them, with our horned beasts and tentacle marauders! We will engulf their lands in an unending orgy of dark eternal pleasures! We will make them beg for more of our ecstasy as we devour them! Soon! Soon!"

"And Mahora Academy shall be our first conquest!" Warrior Madoka joyfully proclaimed.

"Yes!" Empress Sena licked her lips over and over. "My heart beats faster than ever, thinking of those appetizing living morsels, waiting for us, with none but Asahina Mikuru, novice time traveler, to stand between us and them! Once she has fallen, so will all of Mahora! And then, the world!"

"For the world!" Madoka pumped her fist in unison with her empress', and then their mouths came together in a torrid, crazed kiss. Their hands reached for each other's breasts -

* * *

><p>"- and that's the opening act!" Haruhi smiled proudly as she slammed a hand on the manuscript of her plot outline, filled with nonsensical annotations like <em>'Needs more dinosaurs!'<em> or _'Make it more Frazetta!'_ at the sides. "Perfect, huh? It neatly establishes the enemy's motivations and culture! And richly so! Without any false modesty, I think I've grown leaps and bounds as a screenwriter since the first movie!"

Yozora snickered. "I'll say this; you certainly caught the vulgar and megalomaniacal nature of the Sena character perfectly."

Haruhi nodded. "That's an uncharacteristically deep bit of insight, Mikazuki! There might be hope for you yet!"

"S-screw that!" Sena cried. "Why do I have to be the villainess? And why do I have to kiss her?!" she pointed at Madoka, who had gone slightly green during the description. "Wouldn't it make more sense for me to have a hot boy as my love slave and field agent, anyway?"

"Tch, tch!" Haruhi waved a finger. "Out of all of us, only you and Mikuru-chan have the body types needed to pull off the 'voluptuous warrior queen' look, and Mikuru-chan is already locked in the role of the heroine. Dramatically, the villain has to be the hero's dark counterpart, the protagonist's twisted mirror, so we logically need a villainess who is as busty as the heroine." She looked over at the chests of Yozora, Yuki and Madoka, making two of them flinch. No prizes for guessing which. "And sadly, that kind of talent is still somewhat scarce around here. You'll have to do. Same thing for the hot guy quota. Itsuki's already reprising his role as the male lead, and Kodaka, well... is not the type who can fill the 'Demon Beefcake' requirements I had in mind..."

"I'm so terribly sorry," Kodaka commented, resting his chin on a hand.

"I tell you, more hours at the gym would do wonders for you," Haruhi said, before addressing the pouting Sena again with a crocodile smile. "Sena, baby, sweetie, you should feel honored! Anyone with a passing knowledge of storytelling devices, and most importantly, Hollywood, will tell you the villain roles are always the best. Vader will always be better known than Skywalker. Hannibal trumps Clarice! The shark remains in our hearts long after the old guys fishing for him in a boat that isn't big enough have vanished into oblivion! You want the most meaty role of the movie, don't you?"

Sena had huge stars in her eyes now, being the only one who hadn't noticed the slight different tone in which Haruhi had said 'meaty'. Yozora was snickering under her breath, slapping herself on the knee.

"President!" Sena said. "Would you... would you really do that for me?"

Haruhi smiled a saint's smile and grabbed Sena's shoulders. "Yes! My mammarily gifted thespian, my udderly golden Venus, you are fated for big things! As big as the heart that beats under that big left boob!"

Sena giggled and took both hands to her bosom. "Yes, it's a true gift from the gods, isn't it? It's so good to see someone who understands... Others, without going into the ugly detail of mentioning their names, would only react jealously out of petty envy over this bit of beauty."

"Big heart, big boobs, tiny brain," Yozora muttered.

"Yozora, please," Kodaka muttered back.

"It certainly suits your strong points, Sena-san!" Itsuki nodded firm but gently.

"You were born for it!" Haruhi cheered.

"Oh! It's so strange to get recognition from you, President!" Sena blushed and fidgeted, in a way that had even Mikuru doing snarky faces that would have done Chisame proud. For a second, at least, until Mikuru resumed character and went back to looking adorably confused. "Very well! If it's so important for you, I'll do it, and do my best at it! Just to prove some impertinent weasels wrong!"

"Should be interesting," Yozora observed with an evil smirk.

Sena kept fidgeting. "But, if I may be bold enough as to suggest a chance ... what if we replace Madoka-chan in that scene with ... I don't know ... perhaps Ko-ba-to-chan?"

"I'm all for the idea!" Madoka quickly agreed.

"Hey!" Kodaka said.

"On second thought, Kobato-chan is still too young for it!" Madoka amended even faster.

"Kobato-chan?" Haruhi rubbed her chin. "It's an interesting idea, actually, but I'm not sure she can break her own character long enough to make it work. Maybe we could make Kugimin redub her lines, since I like the effect her mannish voice brings in contrast to a feminine appearance."

"Don't call me Kugimin, and my voice is not mannish," Madoka said, with the tired air of someone who has said that line a few hundred times before.

"Before we go any further into this," Kodaka said, to change the topic without antagonizing Suzumiya directly, "don't you think the script needs some retouches? I mean, I think it's still kind of rough -"

"It's full with clichés, the narrative and dialogue are overblown and pompous, and no one but Meat could pronounce those lines without feeling their intelligence has just been insulted," Yozora went into greater detail.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Haruhi smiled benevolently. "Just so your great and wonderful intelligence isn't insulted, I gave your character absolutely no lines at all, just for your comfort."

"Hooray for small miracles," Yozora said. "So, what am I supposed to be?"

Yuki read from her copy of the script. (She and Itsuki were the only ones with preview copies, other than Haruhi herself.) "Mikazuki Yozora as Grunt Soldier who Dies Screaming During Tentacle Attack."

Yozora's face went stark white. "What?!"

"You only have one scene, I'll dub your death screams over your performance since you don't have a good enough voice, and you get to wear this nifty red shirt," Haruhi said, displaying said quite nifty looking piece of clothing. "What's not to like? It's minimal effort, so it's right up your alley!"

"Oh-ho-ho-ho, indeed, it is!" Sena laughed.

Yozora stood up violently. "What the hell! Why is my voice ugly, but Kugimin's man voice isn't!?"

"Don't call me Kugimin, and my voice isn't- ahh, screw it," Madoka sighed.

Kodaka felt like he should say something, argue something, mostly for Madoka-chan and Asahina-san's benefit, right then and there.

But for some reason, he didn't.

He had started thinking of Chisame again.

* * *

><p><em>"We have a new member!" Haruhi announced that morning, pulling the tall handsome boy in. Kodaka was slightly startled. That was the fishy looking pretty boy who had transferred to their class that morning. "His name's Koizumi Itsuki, and since Yozora and Kodaka already know him, they can vouch for his qualities and membership worth!"<em>

_"We can? Since when?" Yozora, as always, was the first one to speak her mind. "We just met him this morning! Hell, you won't even let Tsuruya-sempai in and she's been snooping around for weeks, so why is this guy in all of a sudden?"_

_Haruhi gave her a glare. "You wouldn't understand. That's why I'm the President. I have President-Senses!"_

_Yozora snorted. "What, you were bitten by a radioactive President?"_

_"Ah, you have a lovely place here," the stranger looked around slowly, like a young Greek god being bathed by the afternoon light sweeping through the curtains. "It smells of warmth, like a real home. So, what do you do here?"_

_"You don't even know?" Kodaka blinked once._

_"We unveil the greatest mysteries of our era!" Haruhi announced as grandly as ever. "We chase after the most fearsome enigmas the world has to pose! We are the undaunted SOS Brigade!"_

_"And we also try and figure out how to make friends!" Sena piped in._

_Itsuki looked at the stupefied Kodaka, the completely oblivious Nagato, the embittered Yozora, the heavily gulping Mikuru, and then at Sena, who had started whistling while playing her Pony PFP._

_"I see!" he finally said, beaming with an even brighter smile. "How could I reject such a thrilling offer, from such a friendly bunch, on my first day here? This is going to be fun!"_

_"Hey, slow down, will you?" asked Yozora. "Before anything, we need to take a vote on your admission -"_

_"I vote for him," Sena interrupted her quickly._

_Yozora clenched her teeth. "You aren't just rushing to counter me because you feel I was going to vote against it, are you?"_

_Sena assumed an air of innocence. "Do you think me capable of a move so petty?"_

_Yozora's colorful answer was stillborn since Haruhi exclaimed right then, "As I said, Yozora and Kodaka have already seen he's the kind of extra coolness we need, so I'm sure they're voting him too!"_

_"HEYY!" Yozora and Kodaka said in unison._

_"And with my vote, we are four to zero already!" Haruhi kept on talking. "Yuki-chan? Mikuru-chan?"_

_"I have no objections," Nagato said quietly while flipping a page._

_Mikuru swallowed, looked at her feet, and whispered, "Me ... Me neither ... it's not like it'd make a difference ... but ... I, I wouldn't vote against it anyway!"_

_Kodaka gave her a mildly inconvenienced glance. Does she like him at first sight? No, I doubt she could be that shallow, accepting him that quickly just because of his looks. Even if he does look trustworthy ... okay, rather fishy in a way, but at least not like a delinquent ... Anyway, she's surely just following Suzumiya's cue out of fear anyway! I really should do something this time ..._

_"Welcome to the SOS Brigade, Recruit Koizumi!" Haruhi already was shaking the guy's hand in an enthusiastic way. "Even if you're no alien, esper or time traveler yet, who knows? You're so much the type, no doubt you end up becoming one at some point of our research into the unknown!"_

_He laughed softly. "Why, that's the most imaginative praise I've ever been given!"_

* * *

><p><em>Kakizaki Misa made a face. "Chisame's older brother? Really? That bleached boring thug with the social skills of a stick? Please, Madoka-chan, I'm sure you can do far better!"<em>

_Shiina Sakurako hummed while painting her toe nails on her bunk. "Well, Misa-chan, you dated Taisuke-sempai for months, so it's not like you can criticize her tastes too much ..."_

_"Ugh, don't remind me of that creep, please," Misa wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, Madoka, if you're aiming for someone from that club of weirdoes, why not to shoot for the hunky yes-man instead?"_

_"I think he's gay," Sakurako said._

_"How would you know?" Misa frowned._

_Sakurako poked her own nose. "It takes one to know one!"_

_"Hell, I'm not gay, and I can feel it too," Madoka nodded. Misa was going to make a sly funny comment about that, but Madoka was faster on the draw. "Say what you were about to say and you die, Misa. Anyway, yeah, that Sempai looks like he has serious vibes for Hasegawa-sempai. He's always walking after him, following him everywhere, even when it's obvious it makes him uncomfortable."_

_"So you're going to save him from the evils of yaoi?" an amused Misa asked._

_"Other than Haruna, there's nothing actually evil about yaoi," Sakurako opined._

_"I wonder if I should ask for Chisame's advice," Madoka pondered._

_"Asking for advice from her is like trying to squeeze water out of a rock. Trust me," Misa said. "Besides, I think she doesn't get along with her siblings."_

_Sakurako looked at her. "But Chisame isn't a bad person. I don't think she'll want to sabotage Madoka OR her own brother."_

_"I'm not saying she's bad," Misa mumbled reluctantly. "But, well, she has the social and romantic skills of a mole."_

_"Despite which, she has a strong advantage on you when it comes Negi-sensei." It was strange for Madoka to find chances to get one over Misa, so she took them whenever she found them._

_At Misa's stunned face, Sakurako giggled. "Ohhh, she got you here, Misa-chan!"_

_Misa pouted. "Theirs is nothing but sibling love! Some friends you are! But even so, since I'm a better girl, I'll still give you some good advice, Madoka. I know you're thinking of it, but don't ever try to join that club. Take it from someone who knows; mysterious clubs filled with weird people aren't for everyone."_

* * *

><p><em>"Well then!" Suzumiya Haruhi said with a wide smile as she left Madoka at her dorm's doorstep. "Starting the first day of the next term, you'll be the SOS Brigade's newest intern! Spreading the word in the meanwhile is strongly suggested! You may even call it the Gospel if you want," she said, without hesitation pulling a pamphlet out and pushing it into Kugimiya's hands, "We don't believe in false modesty."<em>

_"Um, well, I'm honored, but —" Madoka began._

_Haruhi's smirk was very foxlike now. "I'm sure Kodaka will love having you there."_

_"Ah, ha ha," she stifled. "No way."_

_"He often talks about you, you know."_

_"R-Really? I mean, really?"_

_"Yeah!" Actually, it had been only twice or thrice, in passing, while mentioning his sister's classmates, but by Kodaka's standards, that was a freaking lot with a cherry on top. She nudged Madoka's ribs with an elbow, cagily. "C'mon, girl, learn to recognize chances when life hands them to you."_

_"But ... but I thought ... Hasegawa-sempai ... ah ..."_

_"That he liked Mikuru-chan?"_

_"Ahhhhh ..."_

_"Because Mikuru-chan is mine."_

_Madoka's eyes became blank squares, her mouth half hanging. She'd actually been about to mention Kashiwazaki-sempai or Mikazuki-sempai, but now didn't seem the right time to admit that. "Ah. Ah, I see."_

_"Ah ha ha ha!" Haruhi-sempai laughed again. "Well, it's been a blast, but I gotta go now, Kugimin! We're making ... preparations. My class already settled on a trip destination; I convinced everyone to visit the ruins of Shinonome. I'll make sure to bring you an archeological souvenir or two. What about you guys?"_

_"Well, I ... I think we'll be visiting Kyoto ..."_

_"Kyoto! Not too interesting, but you might run into some ghosts there. Keep me informed on it! And on any signs you see of the aliens and the fish people! Bye!" She waved before running away without any care in the freaking world._

_Madoka stared helplessly before shaking her head and walking in. What had she just walked into, or rather, been pushed into?_

_On the other hand, she could spend more time with Kodaka-sempai now. And Haruhi-sempai apparently didn't have any interest in him after all! Looked like she even supported them. Maybe she wasn't such a bad person after all. Kazumi's reports used to be greatly exaggerated, in any case._

_And it wasn't like her cheering club friends were spending that much time with her lately._

* * *

><p>Madoka still wasn't sure how it had come to this. Surely, there had to be some sort of rule about junior high students being recruited to join high school clubs, the sort of rule that states that such things are expressly and unconditionally forbidden. And yet the SOS Brigade's faculty adviser had done nothing to prevent her from being brought in. In fact, Madoka wasn't entirely sure that the Brigade had a faculty adviser. Sister Yukariko was supposed to play that role, and she dropped by at least once a week, but she was not part of the teaching staff, so Madoka was fairly suspicious she was not actually qualified for the position. And that would surely fall under the same sort of "expressly and unconditionally forbidden" rules, wouldn't it?<p>

But, until such time as someone dared to tell the Brigade's commander-in-chief that she couldn't have a junior high school student in her club, Madoka found herself stuck with it. (She was not nearly brave enough to raise the subject.) And it wasn't so bad, really. It meant she got to spend time with the charismatic and personable (well, in contrast to his sisters, at least) Kodaka-sempai. And Koizumi and Nagato were, well, not exactly nice, but pleasant enough to be around. (Nagato reminded her a bit of Honya, only even more anti-social.)

Then there were Sena-sempai and Yozora-sempai, but they spent so much time sniping at each other, neither could direct too much of their bitterness at Madoka.

Really, aside from the aforementioned dictator-for-life, there was only one member of the Brigade that she found it hard to deal with.

So of course, on this particular day, their second day of post-vacation activities, as she was thinking all of this, she slid open the door of the Brigade's club room to find it solely occupied by that person.

"Good afternoon, Kugimiya-san," Asahina Mikuru said timidly, turning to look at her from where she was seated at the table, doing nothing in particular.

"Uh, good afternoon, Asahina-sempai," Madoka said, trying to cover her confusion. "Where is everyone today?"

"Ah, well, Hasegawa-san had to go to a family reunion today, Mikazuki-san and Kashiwazaki-sempai are scouting filming locations, and Koizumi-san and Nagato-san... just didn't show up for some reason. Suzumiya-san is, well, um, I-I-I-I think she might be, um, well, talking people into cooperating with the upcoming movie... through methods that I'm sure don't involve intimidation or extortion!" Mikuru blushed cutely at her own suspiciously specific denial.

Madoka briefly considered taking advantage of these circumstances and running as fast as she possibly could. But she knew perfectly well that even though she could run, she'd never be able to hide anywhere that Haruhi would not find her. Under the circumstances, the only real option was to sit down where she usually sat between Koizumi and Nagato, and say, with patently false cheerfulness, "Well, then I guess we'd better just sit and wait."

"Mm-hm," Mikuru agreed, nodding and smiling cutely.

Madoka successfully fought the temptation to punch that cute smile. She didn't really understand why she didn't like the Brigade's official maid, to put it mildly. Really, there was nothing wrong with her. Parts of her personality and person would probably be extremely attractive. Take her nervousness and insecurity, for example - in someone like Ako, those tendencies were extremely attractive, to the point where Madoka had been fighting feeling turned on by her bandmate for quite some time.

But the cumulative effect of all the cute and sweet traits that Mikuru possessed, in Mikuru, made her... grotesque. Like some sort of weird Frankenstein creature assembled from everything that people judged to be, well, _moe_. It all made her very hard to take.

"Would you like some tea?" Mikuru asked plaintitively. "I could make some tea? Would you like that?"

"That would be nice. Thank you, Sempai," Madoka answered, trying very hard to keep her teeth from clenching. Even Haruhi's inanity was preferable to this crap. Plus it would be divided between the two of them, and probably Mikuru would get the worst of it. She watched the high schooler make the tea, deciding that she understood why Nagato spent so much time reading. This place could be really dull some -

"Here we are," Mikuru said, turning with the tea tray held at the level of her bosom. Then she took a step towards the table.

Perhaps she was wearing a different maid outfit than usual. After all, variety was the spice of life. That would explain why her foot came down on the edge of her skirt and she fell forward, spilling the contents of the kettle of tea right onto her chest. Mikuru shrieked in shock and pain.

Madoka was on her feet at once and quickly went around the table to help. She might dislike Asahina, but that wasn't the same thing as enjoying her in pain. She quickly got the tray and the kettle off of her and set them down on the table. "Napkins, where are napkins?" she asked.

"O-o-over there," Mikuru pointed, gesturing to where they were set on one of the shelves. "Oh, I'm going to have to take this off," she added, gesturing to her maid outfit's top.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Madoka said absently, as she picked up the napkins. "Actually, you might want to run cold water over your, um, the part where the tea went, or you're probably going to have a burn."

"Hweh," Mikuru said, unbuttoning the top and pulling it off. "Is it -"

"Actually, I think it's okay, all the cloth probably absorbed most of it, let me just -" She started to wipe up the remaining tea on Mikuru's bosom with the napkin.

"Thank you, Kugimiya-san, you're very nice," Mikuru said winsomely.

At that precise moment, the door slid open and Haruhi strolled in. "Well, that takes care of -" she started to say, then stopped dead in her tracks.

Madoka abruptly realized how this looked, and abruptly remembered Haruhi explicitly telling her that Mikuru was 'hers', and all the times she'd seen Haruhi groping and otherwise being inappropriate towards Mikuru, and the words, the awful, incriminating words, bubbled out of her mouth.

"It's not what it looks like!"

"I know that," Haruhi said calmly, closing the door behind her.

"You do?" Madoka said, now really frightened. Haruhi angry was familiar, Haruhi calm was utterly unprecedented.

"Yep," Haruhi confirmed. "You see, what it looks like is that Mikuru, being clumsy, spilled tea all over herself, and Kugimin, being a good person, tried to help her clean up."

"Uh, wait, no, in that case, it is what it -" Madoka said, not even complaining about the hateful nickname.

"No, no, I'm not fooled. What it is, rather than that, is a fairly blatant attempt by Mikuru to seduce Kugimin. Mikuru, we've discussed this, and you should know better by now." Haruhi shook her head in somber dismay.

"What," Madoka asked.

"Oh, yes. Mikuru really gets around. Aside from me, where, well, let's say it was pretty much mutual, she's seduced Itsuki-kun, and Nagato-chan, and her friend Tsuruya, and Kunikida and Taniguchi, you know, those two losers from our class, and that butler and maid on that island we visited, and... how many of the guys in the Computer Club have you been with, anyway? I mean at any one time."

Hesitantly, blushing, looking down at the floor, Mikuru held up three fingers.

"In fact, you could say that Mikuru is pretty much the club bicycle," Haruhi said, as she walked right up to the maid, and, with a quick pair of tugs, pulled the straps of Mikuru's bra off her shoulders so that it collapsed to her waist, leaving her topless. She turned to leer at Madoka. "Wanna ride?"

"Uh," Madoka temporized.

"I'll take that as a yes," Haruhi said, once more demonstrating her interest in other people's opinions.

* * *

><p>Far across campus, past the borders between the high school and college residence areas, Hasegawa Chisame tightened the scarf around her neck and chin, took a deep breath, and rang on the door of Sora's living quarters. A quick intervention call from Arika-sama earlier today had somehow quickly convinced Sora's roommate to go out drinking again with her new close friend, leaving the quarters free for the important private meeting that was about to transpire.<p>

Chisame's nerves were, frankly, wrecked. That morning, Evangeline had subtly reminded her, before classes, of the favors she still owed her. Chisame had placated her with promises to tend to that matter by the weekend, and while Eva had nodded somber agreement, the expression on her face was anything but happy. To boot, for the last couple of days and nights, the ermine had been acting even more strangely than usual, cryptically eluding them all, barely stopping by to eat, and then wandering away without any explanations. Chisame was too proud to ask, and Negi was so absorbed by his own concerns, he barely noticed his old friend's increased absences, chalking them up to his party moods reasserting themselves after the Mundus Magicus adventure. Chisame was far less sure about that.

Worst of it all, however, was the thing she had noticed only when Ayaka called her to ask her if she had noticed any changes on her Pactio card. Realizing she had not looked at it for the last few days, Chisame pulled it out, and noticed it had a shiny golden background now. So did Ayaka's and Natsumi's. No way it could be a coincidence, not after ...

When asked on it, Arika only made an ecstatic sound, hugged Negi, congratulated him, and then, when further asked, coughed politely and said she had to do some research before giving them a complete answer that would meet their needs.

What kind of insane non-answer was that?

At this rate, they'd have to ask the ermine next time they saw him.

Never something to look forward to.

And yet, she suspected, probably better than what would happen next now, during the reunion that waited for her behind that door that was coming open as she thought.

She found herself starting at her older sister's freckled face.

"Good afternoon, Sora."

She nodded, with a distinctive haunted expression. "Chisame-chan. Good afternoon. Kodaka-kun's already here, so we can start now..."

"Great," Chisame gritted her teeth and stepped in. "Let's rock, then."

"Oh! You brought muffins!"

"Um, well, yeah, Negi's mother cooked them. They're actually very nice, even if they have a somewhat funny taste..."

* * *

><p><em>"It all begins with Hasegawa-san," Yuki said. "It is difficult to explain it with the limited vocabulary of your language, which after all was developed as a means for apes to yell at other apes in the next tree. Several key pieces of information might be lost through the explanation. However ... neither Hasegawa-san nor I are normal human beings. Most likely, neither are you. You share the same distant basic bloodline of non-earthly origins with Mikazuki Yozora and Kashiwazaki Sena. Out of all the members of our Brigade, only Suzumiya Haruhi fits the established parameters of human normalcy."<em>

_"Yeah, that's a good joke. Never took you for the kidding type, Sempai," Kugimiya grumbled._

_"That is not what I mean," Yuki said. "I'm not talking about behavioral traits expected of the average human being. Just as with Asakura Ryoko, I am an artificially generated life form with a humanoid appearance designed to be able to interact with your species."_

_Madoka spat her tea all over the table. Without missing a beat, Yuuki began to wipe it clean with a cloth._

_"Y-You are a robot?!" Madoka gulped. Well, that would explain a few things about her behavior. "Hakase has a lot of explaining to do!"_

_"Not exactly," said Yuki. "We were created by the Data Overmind entity responsible for the maintenance and supervision of this galactic system. The procedures involved in our creation go beyond what you would consider robotics."_

_Madoka rubbed her temples. "Chisame's right, there are far too many crazies in this school!"_

_"Using a more vulgar terminology, you might call us aliens," Yuki continued. "You are, according to our latest estimate, a latent 'slider'. That would explain your apparently random attraction towards our association, and particularly Hasegawa-san."_

_"Aliens? Slider?" Madoka repeated, her face white as a sheet._

_"A slider is a being gifted with the capacity to travel, or 'slide' between different dimensions," Yuki kept the explanation going. "However, your raw capabilities need training and mastery, otherwise they only will cause you uncertainty and confusion."_

_"Wait, I've never shown any signs of any weird power, or anything like that!" Madoka protested. "How can I be one of those sliders?"_

_"My theory is your powers only could be activated after what we might label a 'trigger event', that is, an incident that grants you contact with forces allowing you to unleash those inherent capacities locked in your DNA," Yuki lectured with no hint of concern or humor. "For instance, an alliance forged with an Incubator spawned from the Martian pocket dimension, or, as has been the case with several of your classmates, the establishment of a preternatural connection with Negi Springfield-sensei, achieved through direct physical contact and a ritual of sorts..."_

_Madoka blinked. "Excuse me. Repeat that. A what of what with Negi-kun?"_

* * *

><p>"Ahhh!" Mikuru shivered as Haruhi craned her neck down to catch Asahina's left nipple in her mouth, making loud slurping noises while suckling on it. Madoka was reasonably sure that she could make a beeline for the door and escape, now, if she ran with everything she had. Haruhi was faster and more athletic, but she was so distracted right now, she probably wouldn't even notice it until it was...<p>

... too late. For Madoka's illusion, of course. Suzumiya had the instincts of a hawk, and as soon as she noticed the first signs of attempted motion in the cheerleader, she turned her hungry, lascivious eyes on her. "Well?" she gave Mikuru's right breast a squeeze. "There's one for you too, you know."

"Y-Yes," Madoka gulped, slowly moving in their direction. She was terrified out of her wits, but she couldn't stop herself. Haruhi's voice was commanding in a way that was not exactly hypnotic, but still left no room for disobedience. So Madoka crouched before the taller Sempai and snuck her tongue out, giving the erect nipple exposed to her a tentative first lick.

Mikuru trembled even more, whispering, "Madoka-chan." Huh, so she was 'Madoka-chan' now? Meanwhile, Haruhi had a hand inside of Mikuru's panties, pistoning her fingers in and out of that strategic point that was lightly staining the underwear now in a fading pale tone.

Haruhi's other hand was yanking Mikuru's skirt up. Apparently, she wasn't happy with how the cloth of the skirt kept falling back down and getting in the way of her stimulation of Mikuru, since she pulled her mouth away from Asahina's drool covered breast and commanded, "Let's all strip naked."

Madoka's head pulled back. **"What?!"**

"Let's all strip naked," Haruhi repeated, frowning as she roughly rubbed Mikuru's large mammaries from behind. "Official regulation clothes for the SOS Brigade cannot be damaged, stained or ripped during meetings or special activities. It's in Clause Fifteen, Paragraph Fourteen, Line Three. Really, Kugimin, you should read the rulebook more often! After all the time I spent writing it, all by myself!"

"B-B-But what if someone walks in?" a pale Madoka gurgled.

"No one will walk in. I'm sure Mikuru-chan set everything up so you two wouldn't be bothered, didn't you, Mikuru-chan?" She nibbled on Asahina's right ear even as she unzipped her skirt.

"Ah... ah-hah..." Mikuru posed as much resistance as usual.

Haruhi shot Madoka a glare. "Well? What are you waiting for? You're still a junior, and juniors don't get stripping services from the Brigade President. Do it yourself until you've grown into a role comparable to Mikuru-chan's!"

Madoka pinched herself, cursing reality as she, in fact, felt pain. But she sighed and began unbuttoning her own shirt. She always had imagined that, if she ever did something like this, it'd have been with Sakurako or Misa. Not like she had ever wanted to do that sort of thing with either of them or even just with Sakurako, no sir.

She got naked slowly, piece by piece, pulling even her socks and earrings out and carefully setting them aside out of anyone's way. As her father had always said, if you were going to do something, make sure to do it right. As naked as the day she was born, she looked again at the by now equally undressed Mikuru and Haruhi. The former had been forced by the latter to lie on her back on the meeting table, with Haruhi's mouth diving directly into the Sempai's crotch. Madoka could hear the exaggerated, wild licking sounds, and she had to rub her legs together uncomfortably. "Um, so, what do I do now? This, this is my first time in something like this."

Haruhi pointed at Mikuru's face without stopping in her noble labors. "Sit there. Mikuru-chan will take care of the rest."

Madoka gulped, crawling up onto the strong table and carefully placing her hindquarters on top of Mikuru's face. "O-Okay... ah... can, can you breathe right, there? B-Because if not, I caaaaaan, ohhhhh Gooooood..."

Asahina really knew how to use that tongue! Well, if Haruhi was to be believed, that shouldn't come as a surprise to Madoka, since Mikuru had been with so many before her, after all. It felt so good, so much better than her masturbation or her recent adventures with toys borrowed from Misa, that Madoka posed no opposition when Haruhi leaned ahead to kiss her mouth, Suzumiya's crotch now scissoring vigorously with Mikuru's. Many bad things could be said about Haruhi, but there was no way of denying she was extremely competent at everything she set out to do, and it seemed that sex was no exception. Haruhi's hands tugged on Madoka's nipples and massaged her small breasts alternatively, and that, coupled with Mikuru's tongue action, drove her into what she believed had to be the biggest orgasm of her life so far. In just minutes.

"That ... that was incredible," she panted, lying ahead to rest in Haruhi's arms, the leader's hands caressing her back and buttocks.

"More?" Haruhi giggled roguishly.

Madoka only could nod as she heard herself beg, "Please."

"Fine. Now you'll pay Mikuru-chan back," she instructed, making Madoka lie on her back while Mikuru straddled her face, grinding her sex against Kugimiya's mouth, "And don't worry too much about your technique or lack thereof. You'll only learn with practice. I guarantee Mikuru-chan won't end up unhappy regardless," she promised, pulling Mikuru into a wet kiss while her lower body began scissoring with Madoka's much like it had just done with Asahina's.

Madoka's mind melted, but somehow, her body kept going on despite that. She pushed her hips back trying to match Suzumiya's frantic beat while her mouth slurped and licked at Mikuru's core. It wasn't easy, since she was finding it troubling to breathe, much less coordinating her actions at both ends at once despite the intense pleasure whipping her brain, but one way or another, she kept at it.

Misa would have been proud.

Madoka could count three orgasms of varying intensity in her head under the relentless assault of her seniors, and from the way Mikuru slammed her hips on her while whining, she calculated she also had inflicted two on the older girl. Just when she was starting to feel tired, Haruhi dismounted her and forced Mikuru to do the same. "You're lagging, Kugimin," she told her. "That isn't the energy a SOS Brigadier should have!"

"Hahhhhhh." Madoka panted, face flushed cherry. "Gimme a break. I've told you this was my first time!"

"Aw, poor junior," Haruhi chuckled, evilly caressing one of her cheeks. "That's right, I had forgotten. Well then, let's give you a beginner bonus. Mikuru-chan? Remember what we did to Yuki-chan her first time?"

"Ah, ah, y-yes," the busty girl stammered.

"Ah?" Madoka blinked. Then she saw Haruhi and Mikuru lower their heads, and felt both their tongues in her cunt at the same time. "Ahhh!"

Maybe it had been worth joining that stinking club after all. Maybe. Madoka felt her toes curling up as another climax approached stomping.

* * *

><p>"Alright," Kodaka started, taking his seat at the table across Chisame and Sora. "I assume this is really important, since all three of us haven't been in the same room since Christmas, but at the same time, it's something too mature for Kobato to handle. Dad's getting divorced, isn't he?"<p>

"No, Kodaka-kun. It's ... it's about Mother," Sora reluctantly said.

That took him by surprise. "What about her?" he asked.

Sora looked at Chisame, almost pleadingly, but she only answered, "You tell it. You're the oldest sibling. It comes with the job."

"I don't remember ever willingly applying..." Sora whimpered weakly before struggling to look at Kodaka's face. "Kodaka-kun, you're aware that, shortly after your birth, Mother and Father had a falling out, aren't you?"

"You mean the thing that took me three years to get over? The thing I had to be reassured dozens of times was not my fault? Yeah, I think I remember that," her brother nodded.

Sora rasped. "Well. It's good, in a way, that you remember. It might, might make these explanations somewhat easier. Basically, um, at that time, Mother and Father, both, well, you could say they were looking for ... alternatives ... elsewhere. You k-know, it's perfectly reasonable, to want to start their lives all over again, as they say, there's nothing terribly wrong about that ..."

Kodaka was starting to stand up, however. "Mother would never -!"

"Kodaka," Chisame cut him sharply. "We've gone through this before. I know you always loved her the best, but she still was a human being. And all human beings have flaws, that's normal and -"

The way he looked at her then was just as sharp. "You barely knew her. Where do you get off, thinking you can judge her? I know her better than that, and I know she wouldn't have been the type to -!"

"Father walked out on her first!" Sora finally raised her voice. "Kodaka, we all loved her, but that doesn't mean she was a saint! No one is! That doesn't mean we'll love her any less, or that she was less of a loving mother!"

"Even so, what you're implying is -!" he protested.

"L-Let me finish before arguing, please!" the eldest Hasegawa present asked.

The boy frowned and sat back. "Fine. Sorry."

"Thank you," Sora gulped. "We have good reasons to believe, after that, when you were still too young to remember the details clearly, and well, it seems I blocked my memories of it for a long while ... w-w-w-well..." she then hid her face between her hands. "Sorry, I, I just can't say it!"

Chisame sighed. Why did, in the end, all responsibilities fall on her? "What Sora's trying to say, Kodaka, is Mother might have had... an affair with a man... a man named Nagi Springfield... Negi's father. And I, I... I might be his daughter, as well."

For a moment, all Kodaka could do was opening his eyes impossibly wide and let his jaw hang slightly.

The next moment, the universe collapsed onto itself.

The very next moment, from the brink of nothingness, Kodaka's remaining love for his relatives and willingness to believe them despite everything reasserted themselves, and existence bravely struggled to once again re-establish itself the exact same way it had been before. Somewhere, the Data Overmind exhaled a collective sigh of relief.

"Why, why, why are you saying this?!" he shouted. "Mother would have never had done that! A child out of marriage! When she hadn't divorced yet! Behind Father's back! No, I can't believe that! You, you must be mistaken!"

"We aren't completely sure yet," Sora admitted. "It's only a possibility."

"No! No, it isn't!" Kodaka huffed.

"We are thinking of running blood tests..." Sora docilely said. "Just to be sure, not that it would make too much of a difference, I... think... we're siblings all the same, all of us, and anyway, it's like Negi-sensei is already part of the family, regardless..."

_"... no, it's more complex than that..."_ Chisame whispered, looking down.

"What do you mean?" Kodaka scowled.

"Nothing!" Chisame exhaled fast.

Kodaka tapped his fingers on the arms of his chair. He'd always had some suspicions about the nature of Chisame's feelings for the kid teacher she looked after, but he usually just disregarded them as byproducts of his association with Haruhi planting weird ideas in his mind. Chisame, who was the epitome of a normal girl who wanted to remain normal while surrounded by weirdoes, was in a way his twin soul, despite their differences. Or so Kodaka wanted to think. She'd always spoken with disdain and contempt about the shotacons in her classroom, so it stood to reason she wouldn't share those leanings ...

A tiny Haruhi devil with tail, horns and pitchfork appeared on his right shoulder. "That's just the lady protesting too much! When they do that, it's because they don't want to admit their own perversions! Believe me, Kodaka!"

A Mikuru white angel appeared on his left shoulder. "No, Kodaka-san! Don't distrust your relatives! Chisame-san is a good, working and responsible girl, and your mother was the same! This is nothing but a misunderstanding, and your sisters are just as confused by circumstances as you are!"

The Haruhi devil stuck her tongue at her. "Shut up, badly recycled cartoon cliché!"

"B-B-But you're just the same as me in that regard!" the Mikuru angel whined.

"Don't try to derail my point!" The micro-devil shook a fist at her.

Shaking his head to clear those insane thoughts away, Kodaka said, "Okay, I still can't believe that, but if a blood test makes you feel any better, go ahead. I don't really care one way or another; no matter what, I won't stop doubting Mom's virtue."

Sora nodded. The change from his usual formal way to refer her to the more intimate and familiar term told her of how much he meant that in his heart, and she was truly moved by it. "Of, of course. Actually, I'm thinking odds are you're right, it's just, well, one way or another, I believe we need to know ..."

"Whatever," Chisame mumbled, rubbing one of her temples. "I'm just glad you took it this well, Kodaka."

"Chiu-chan ran into the rain crying when she learned, herself," Sora supplied, making her sister groan.

"Ah, so that's why you called me the other night asking if I had seen her," the boy nodded. "I was wondering what was up with the secrecy on that."

"Sorry," Sora lowered her head. "It's all my fault for not telling you sooner."

"Does Dad know?" asked Kodaka.

"We haven't talked with him about it yet," Sora confessed. "It's not the kind of subject one should discuss over an international call."

The boy slumped his shoulders and gave a tired short breath. "Naturally. How about your teacher, Chisame?"

"He knows now," Chisame muttered. "He ... let's just say he has accepted the idea."

Kodaka murmured a low sound of understanding. "By the way, before I forget it, tell him Haruhi wants some help with our next movie for the Sports Festival. He's an expert on oddities and the allegedly supernatural, isn't he?"

"Well... he has done some study on the subject, yeah," Chisame said carefully. "But, why -"

He waved a hand in circles. "It's a crazy movie about demons from another world attacking Mahora during the summer break. You know, very loosely based on a real story, inspired by that surprise stunt they pulled while you were in Wales. Does he know anything at all about, how do they call it, demonology?"

"A few things," Chisame said tensely as Sora gulped.

"Great," Kodaka dryly said. "We only need some pointers, you know, on how are demon societies or whatever they call them organized, and what are their supposed ranks, and what do they do ... that kind of stuff."

"I'll tell him to call you," Chisame had to agree against her best wishes, lest he grew suspicious.

"Thanks," he actually smiled weakly. "Although, well, I don't really know why would Haruhi need the expertise. There's nothing closer to a demon than her, anyway."

* * *

><p>Heading back home down the curved side road she favored, away from the more traveled main path, Suzumiya Haruhi slowed down when she felt the measured steps of a slow walking figure behind her, casting his tall shadow over her.<p>

"How did things go today?" asked Itsuki, his hands in his pockets.

Haruhi grinned without looking back. "Mikuru and I initiated Madoka-chan today. She's still very raw, but she shows promise. A few sessions and she'll be a pro. Maybe I can get her to hook me up with her two hot cheerleader friends. And the famous kid teacher, why not? Just to be sure, I made sure Kodaka gave him a call to... help with the movie."

"Oh, you fiend," he lightly laughed, in that way he had which made it clear to her he didn't find her all that funny. Then he grew serious. "Are you sure this is a time to be joking? Not to mention committing sexual indiscretions galore?"

"Hey, Mikuru started it this time. God knows who's she trying to breed with whom else this time." She shrugged. "Why so worried all of a sudden? I was under the impression everything was going fine, and Kodaka was getting used to things step by step, without -"

"It seems we have a new troubling development," he reported in a low voice. "The Agency informs me that we had a picosecond blink today, during Kodaka's family reunion. Nagato was observing them from the outside, but of course, we can't rely on her to deliver a direct report to US."

"Oh, you wacky kids and your factions," Haruhi sighed. "Everything would be much easier if you all just worked together already, like we do at the Brigade! Maybe you should consider putting me in charge. So?"

"Things don't look good. We still need a more extensive analysis, but our technicians are predicting another breakdown in two or three weeks."

There was a long pause, and when it ended, Haruhi sounded actually serious as well. "I see. Damn, he has to make things difficult for us at every step, doesn't he? Maybe Asakura had the right idea, and we should have let her shish-kebab him."

"I'm afraid I couldn't allow that, even with all the risks involved."

She smiled back at him, over her shoulder. "You really do love him, don't you? How sweet. You realize it'll never be mutual, don't you?"

"A lot of things in life aren't mutual, but whatever gave you the impression I have ever been in love?"

She loosened the neck of her uniform and whispered huskily, _"You can be in lust. That means you can be in love."  
><em>  
>"That's just like you, President. Mistaking one thing for the other -"<p>

"I'm not confusing them. But with emotions, I think, you either get the whole package, or nothing. Don't worry your hunky little head, Itsuki-kun. We'll do what we always do; we'll build him up to an emotional climax, we'll tease him with some slight measure of contact, we'll make him realize the world is worth keeping, and life will go on. Trust me, I know how to play him. That's why you chose me, remember?"

He nodded. "Of course. We wouldn't have resorted to anyone but the best when it came to playing others, President. However -"

She turned, unbuttoning her blouse with a wicked grin. "However nothing. If I can get even an esper field agent to act as my boytoy, if I can get that nifty thick cock hard despite your preferences, then I surely can play that much simpler sad sack like a harp. And it's hard already, isn't it?" She caressed his crotch with delicate fingers, licking her lips. "Of course it is."

"You haven't ever manipulated me, President," he gently said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "We just happen to have common goals. And sorry to offend, but Asahina-san is better than you at getting me hard, by the way."

"No surprise. She's also better than you at getting me wet." She smirked evilly. "Still, I already had my main dish for the day, so I'm in the mood for your dessert. It'll help us relieve some stress, let us tackle this with a clearer mind."

He pulled her towards himself, and they started kissing, wildly, clumsily side stepping out of the deserted path and into the green area, stripping each other as they did so. Their tongues fought more than they caressed each other, and their bodies pushed and struggled as they rolled behind a bush.

"HEYYY!" a shrill young voice whined.

"Ah, our deepest apologies!" Itsuki bowed a few times as he rolled back with Haruhi, his lady giggling as a naked pair of identical tiny pink haired girls stared sternly at them. "The next bush is available, isn't it? Never mind us."

Haruhi pulled him on top of her, now wearing nothing but her underwear, socks and shoes, the boy reduced to his shoes, socks, and pants and boxers around his ankles, a trail of rumpled clothes behind them. They fell into the bush, ignoring the orgasmic sounds from a few feet away, which had picked up again. "My boyfriend," she whispered. "That's what they'll call you now, right?"

He took a quick glance at the humping petite forms behind the leaves. And there was another whisper. _"Sorry, but I don't like the sound of that. I'll have to be extra-close to him for the next few days, to dispel the rumors. Or I could -"  
><em>  
>"Shhh," she said, caressing his hard abs. "Boy, they keep you guys in shape. Never mind them, like anyone ever listens to them anyway. Not like you need any excuse to be close to -"<p>

He silenced her with another kiss, pulled her panties' crotch aside, and thrusted forward to enter her. "Ah!" she cried.

Hard, precise, constant. Relentless. That was the way he did it, and the way she liked it. The other boys she had been with had been boring simps trying too hard to please her, so much that they spent most of the encounters hesitating and asking questions. Itsuki, for all his flaws, and there were so many, didn't waste her time with that crap. That was why she considered him her boyfriend; even without the mental illness that was love, he was the only guy who had given her anything satisfactory in a relationship.

He tugged at her bra with his teeth, lowering it enough to lick at her nipples, closing his eyes and no doubt imagining someone else. She kept on panting, wrapped her legs around his waist, and was more passive than she had been with Mikuru and Madoka earlier. Not because of any gender role shit, but because she was slightly tired by now. It had been a long day.

"Why not -" he panted as well, but still managing to keep a perfect diction. "- why not ever try to work you wiles on Mikazuki-san, or Kashiwazaki-san?"

"And, and risk one of those bitches biting my clit off?" she grunted, nonetheless finding some added pleasure from the mental image of dominating them in bed. "Besides, besides, Yozora's got to be frigid. She's just - _fuck! Fuck fuck fuck __**fuck**__!"_ she spasmed as she shivered in climax. "Ahhhh..."

He sighed. He had been lucky this time; more often than not lately, he could not bring her to orgasm before he did, and so he then had to degrade himself by licking her privates until she was satisfied. Talking about Sena and Yozora had worked.

Perhaps it even did something for him as well, since one moment after thinking of that, he was ejaculating into her. The idea actually bothered him, to say the least.

They felt the twins' curious eyes fixed on them through the bushes.

Neither gave a single shit, actually.

There were far too many more important things to think about.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	6. Lesson Five

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Five<strong>.

* * *

><p>"There's something I'd like to ask you," Satomi said hesitantly. Awkward beginning to what would likely be a difficult conversation, but it couldn't be helped. She had the nagging sense, though, that it seemed very familiar somehow.<p>

"Then ask," Evangeline replied, lips starting to turn up in smirk as she stood watching some distance away.

"Why am I chained up like this?" she asked, craning her head back to look up at the manacles around her wrists, attached to a thick chain reaching up into the ceiling, which pulled her arms high above her head. Her legs were made to stretch down by a pair of manacles around her ankles that were chained to the floor. Aside from those, she was wearing nothing more than her bra, panties, socks, accessorized by her glasses and hair ties. It was rather cool in the dank dungeon room.

Eva, of course, was wearing her usual black lingerie-esque outfit and not even a little bit bothered by the chill or the damp. This could be deduced by the way her smirk had blossomed into a full, teeth-clenched, fang-exposed rictus grin. "Because it is my will that you be so chained, Hakase Satomi," she almost hissed. "And in this place, though all the rest of the world may conspire to thwart my designs, here, my will is supreme!"

"... you realize that you're talking like a supervillain, now?"

"So be it!"

"Oookay, then. Anyway, your answer doesn't really answer my question," Satomi continued. "It's kind of like asking, 'why is the sky blue' and being told 'because God wanted it that way'." She managed to use her fingers to make quotation marks around a certain capitalized word in her sentence. "It just defers the answer, and -"

"It is my will," Evangeline interrupted, guessing where this was going to lead, "because this is the beginning of my long-delayed vengeance upon you!"

"Vengeance?" Satomi repeated, blinking confusedly.

"Yes, vengeance!" Evangeline repeated, clearly savoring the word. "Perhaps you had imagined that I have forgotten that I swore to have my revenge for what you did to me, when you seized control of Chachamaru and twisted her to attack me, her master!"

Satomi blinked some more, and then said, "Oh. Well. I guess you could say that I imagined that you forgot that event. Except that wouldn't really be completely accurate, because I didn't _imagine_ anything along those lines. I pretty much forgot it myself, but -"

"You. Did. What?" Evangeline bit out.

"- since I didn't remember, it's functionally the same thing, I think. Well, maybe not. Imagining is a deliberate act, after all, where forgetting is more a matter of negligence, and -"

Slowly, under the sound of her words, Evangeline reached up towards her prisoner's neck, fingers trembling with obvious fury. Before they even came close, though, she jerked them back and interrupted. "No," she said. "No, I will deny myself that joy, and gain a greater one by doing so. Only when you beg me will I grant you that release!"

That, at least, got Satomi to shut up. Around then, one of the other robot maids - thankfully, not one of the ones who copied Chachamaru's look - entered the dungeon room through the door behind Evangeline, and not alone. Sakurako was in her pajamas, and still looked a bit sleepy, though her eyes came completely open when she saw what was going on. "Hhh-hhun!" she said. The gag over her mouth kept her from making much sense, though.

"Sakurako!" Satomi gasped, and then went white. "No. You wouldn't!"

"Of course I would!" Evangeline sneered. "You have crossed one who walks the road of a dark mage - did you think that there wouldn't be consequences to such an act?"

"But, but I wasn't even involved with her when all that happened!" she cried. "She doesn't have anything to do with this -"

"And yet she will witness your humiliation nonetheless!" Evangeline crowed, clearly proud of herself.

"Eh?" Satomi said.

"I said, she will witness your humiliation nonetheless!" Evangeline crowed again.

"Oh. Nooooo!" Satomi cried, but she was basically faking it this time. She'd been terrified that Evangeline would take vengeance by hurting Sakurako, but the vampire didn't seem to be thinking in that direction. And she definitely didn't want to give her any ideas...

"Now, what shall I do first? To what torment shall I subject you?" Evangeline continued, fingers twitching. "Yes, of course! Let us begin with the degradation of your modesty!" With one sharp fingernail, the vampire sliced open the central knot of Satomi's bra, causing it to burst open to reveal the small breasts beneath.

"Oh-ho!" Evangeline cackled. "Someone has been drinking a lot of milk!"

Satomi sighed. "That is a myth," she said, just a bit irritably. "I drink several glasses of milk daily for calcium and vitamins, not because I entertain the ridiculous notion that it will make my breasts grow. My development in this area is entirely typical of persons of my ethnicity and heritage, and I am completely satisfied with it."

"Mmmm!" said the gagged Sakurako, nodding vigorously.

"And so, it seems, are other people who take an interest," Satomi added, with touch of blush in her cheeks.

"Curse your defiance!" Evangeline snarled. She had planned to do a certain amount of pawing and licking and maybe bite the mad scientist a bit - not enough to draw blood, just enough to make her scream and beg for mercy - but now she was angry enough to do even more degrading and humiliating things. Why she would have to ... or she might ... um...

_Cripes, why the heck am I having such a hard time thinking of degrading and humiliating things to do?_ she wondered. _I'm evil, dammit! This should be a cakewalk for me!_ She looked about for some sort of tool, but her 'dungeon' (really just a set of rooms in the resort's foundation that she used for extra storage when necessary) was empty of implements for torture. Wait, what was that in the doorway?

Swift as the thought passed through her mind, her hand was in motion and snatched up the white furry creature that was lurking there. "Well, well, what have we here?" she almost cooed as she wrapped him in one hand and held him up to her face.

"Oh," said Chamo, putting on a genuinely pathetic look of faux bewilderment as he looked about. "I thought this was Chachazero's room, she invited me over to look at her etchings, I'll just be going now, have I ever mentioned that I have a wife and kids who will be destitute if I die?"

"Silence, sub-creature!" Evangeline roared.

"Yes'm," Chamo said, going completely still.

"So you find my vengeance amusing, aye?" she asked, accent starting to come through. When Chamo didn't promptly answer, she shook him a little. "Answer me! Does it amuse you?"

"Could you make up your mind as to whether I'm supposed to be silent or answer questions, first?" the ermine asked, clearly frightened.

"Yes, it clearly amuses you," Evangeline sneered. "Very well, then. You will become a tool of my vengeance!" She whirled to look at Satomi once more, holding up Chamo before her. "Behold your fate, Hakase!"

"You're going to turn me into an ermine?" Satomi asked, genuinely appalled.

"Mmmmm!" Sakurako sounded in protest.

"Y'know, this sort of thing is really murder on my self-esteem," Chamo observed sourly.

"Oh, no," Eva replied, smirking. "This lowest of low creatures -"

"That doesn't help it much either."

"- will be the source of your humiliation. Now, you disgusting filthy animal, lick her!" And she tossed Chamo right at Satomi's exposed breasts. He landed, but immediately jumped off again, and dropped to the floor.

"Are you kidding me?" Chamo cried as he turned back to look at Evangeline. "I'm not gonna do something so disgusting, so repugnant, so base! What sort of a sick pervert do you think I am, anyway?"

"The sort that doesn't want to have his entrails exposed to sunlight," Evangeline answered, looming over him with eyes gone rather scary.

"... okay, that's actually a pretty good description of me," Chamo allowed, and ran up the side of Satomi's body once more.

"I'm sorry, Anego, but if I don't do this, I'll die!" he explained to her. "And since I don't want to die, I must do this! It's simple math!"

"No, Chamo-san, reconsider your actions!" Satomi objected. "You could probably escape to warn Negi and the others about this, and they'd come to help us! You'd be a hero!"

Chamo considered this, looked at the door. The robot maid was standing in front of it. "I don't like my chances. I left my ermine flair stuff back in your room, since I didn't think I was going to need it for what I had planned tonight. I think we're stuck!"

"Reconsider!" Satomi repeated. "How will you ever be able to look me in the eye after this?"

"Well, since I've actually peeked on you and Lucky-neechan over there making out a few times, and I can still do it after that, I don't think I'll -"

"Chamo-san!"

"I'm really sorry, but I'm just a weak, helpless creature being threatened into things by a more powerful one," Chamo concluded.

* * *

><p>In the meanwhile, elsewhere in the Mahora campus, Negi Springfield woke up with a startled scream. "SATOMI-SAN!"<p>

He breathed deep and loudly, supporting himself up with his hands, as he slowly gained awareness of his current situation. He was in his bedroom, again in Chisame's bunk, with a yawning and mumbling Chisame rubbing her eyes and looking up at him from where she still lied to his side. His mother, who still should be sleeping in the living room, gave no signs of having woken up, much less coming in to check on them.

"What's wrong now?" Chisame asked.

"I... I had a horrible dream," her teacher and, to some degree now, lover trembled. "Satomi-san was in terrible danger, threatened by some terrifying shadowy figure..." And he peeked down into the bunk below. "GAH! She still isn't here!"

"She said she was going to pull an all nighter at her lab to catch up on that secret project of hers, remember?" a grumbling Chisame pulled him back to herself. "Rest. You've strained yourself to half death lately, and it's making you tense and paranoid."

He pouted. "But it was so real... Maybe we should call her just to be sure...?"

"You know she hates being interrupted at the lab," Chisame played the card of snuggling him against her to get him to shut up already. She didn't do it because she liked how his body felt against hers, no sir. That usually silenced him, but not this time, since he still was muttering about being worried. So she said, "She's pushing herself in her research as much as you are with your training, and would you like being interrupted whenever Evangeline's trying to kill you? Of course you wouldn't, so leave Hakase alone there. She won't listen, being that obsessed with the whole competition with Skuld..."

Not like Chisame cared either if Hakase was so creepily fixed on besting the goddess girl and impressing Chao, wherever she was now, in the process. No. Let Sakurako worry about all that...

Then something else distracted Chisame's attention. She knew the sensation well by now. It was hard and pressing against her.

Just to be completely sure, she looked down. It was small, but noticeable even in the darkness. Almost pointy, even, tenting up under the fabric of his pajama pants.

"Let me get this straight," she droned. "Having dreams where Hakase's in danger gets it up?"

Face beet red, Negi looked hideously ashamed. "I... It was a special kind of danger..."

"Damn the day when Haruna showed you that manga," Chisame sighed while she looked around, making sure the ermine hadn't returned from his drinking binge with Chachazero. The underwear drawer was open but he wasn't there. Good. She began pulling Negi's pants down, taking the underwear along with it. "Okay, I guess a quickie won't hurt anyone. We won't be able to get this down at dawn when they're back."

"C-Chisame, I don't know if we really should..."

"We won't go all the way," she promised. "Only mouth service."

"O-Okay, then," he agreed - maybe too quickly - bracing himself as her head went lower slowly.

Chisame believed that she'd become quite accomplished with this sort of thing. Well, that was understandable. She'd had a fair amount of practice since that evening. It wasn't as though she enjoyed it, of course. It was degrading and unpleasant. Not that she'd ever tell him that. After all, this was for his benefit, not hers, and if she claimed that she disliked it, he'd be unhappy. Not that she cared, or anything like that, but why making someone unhappy if you didn't -

Wait, what was he doing? Was he - yes, he had his hands on her head as she bobbed up and down. Like he was guiding her efforts, steering them. Either way, he was more of an active participant in this than he had been, usually, and that made her feel strange. The bad kind of strange, like she was doing something wrong.

But also, and it hurt to admit it, the not-as-bad kind of strange. The way that she'd felt when he'd stopped whispering his sister's name and started whispering hers while he slept. The warm way.

Which was bad! What was she, some sort of dog who needed to be patted on the head? She wanted to jerk away from those hands on her hair!

Unfortunately, doing so would probably hurt his feelings, not that she cared, but why make someone unhappy -

Ah. There it was, spewing up into her mouth. In her angrier moments, she sometimes thought about kissing him, on the mouth, right after he came, so he could see what it tasted like. But she'd never do it, of course. So she swallowed instead, then pulled herself up to lie beside him, kissing him on the cheek absentmindedly, and waiting for her breathing to slow back to normal.

"It'll be fine," she said. "And if it's not, we'll make it fine, all right?"

"Okay," Negi said, sounding sleepy again.

_Unappreciative -_

"Thank you, Chisame."

_... well, anyway._ Eventually, they both fell back into their repose.

* * *

><p>Back at the resort, Chamo had begun to suckle firmly at Satomi's right breast, his tongue and even his surprisingly sharp teeth employed to the purpose of teasing at its nipple. Meanwhile, his tail - the dexterity of which Satomi had not heretofore realized - was wrapped around the one on the left side of her chest, squeezing it a bit.<p>

"Bite bite bite!" Chamo chanted.

"Ah! No, that will huuuurrrrr ..." Satomi objected, even though it was pretty clear that whatever sensations he was arousing in her had very little to do with pain.

"Forgive me these trespasses, Anego," the ermine said, managing to sound pious. "We are both of us pawns on the chessboard of life." More than a bit of a leer started to creep into his tone. "And forgive me, too, the trespass I am about to commit against your secret garden!"

"Secret - wait, Chamo, where did you get that box cutter?" Satomi demanded as she saw him holding the cutting implement between his two paws.

"Geez, Anego, I said I left my ermine flair stuff behind, not all my tools. D'ya think I'm crazy? And now this device will be put to woeful use! Ah, well, it simply cannot be helped."

"You're enjoying this far too much to be saying things like that!" she objected as he climbed down to perch on her hip and began cutting away at her panties, somehow avoiding even the slightest contact between her flesh and the point of his blade.

"Not so! It simply seems that way! I am attempting to appear as a lecherous cur, the better to lull our mutual captor into a sense of security! It's a clever plan, wouldn't you say?"

"No, not after you go and announce it to her like that!"

"Ah, well, it cannot be helped."

"And you're using that expression in inappropriate ways!" she added as he cut the other side of the panties loose, making the front start to roll back in the direction of her crotch.

"Be that as it may, the time has come for me to go where no ermine has gone before! Nor man, nor woman - Lucky-neechan not quite counting yet." And with that, he swooped down to begin applying the same techniques to another hardened aroused nub of flesh that he'd used on the nipples.

But before he reached it, a hand plucked him up. "Oookay, that's enough of that."

"Nooo!" Chamo protested. "Don't stop me! If I don't do what Evangeline says, she'll punish me terribly!"

"Think about what you just said!" Evangeline snarled as she lifted the ermine up to her face. There were limits beyond which she was unwilling to take this torment. Still, a look at Satomi's trembling and denuded form suggested that she'd accomplished her goal for the moment. And so she permitted herself to cackle madly. "At lasssst! Vengeance is mine! Lower the wench!"

Once the maid stopped holding her hands behind her back, and went over to release the chain holding Satomi up, Sakurako was able to get the gag over her mouth off pretty easily. This accomplished, she quickly headed over to the quivering Satomi. "Are you okay, Satchan?" she asked, somewhat anxiously.

"That was very embarrassing," the scientist murmured.

"But you're not hurt or anything?"

"Well, no ..."

Sakurako sighed. "Oh, thank goodness."

Evangeline stopped in mid-cackle. "Thank goodness?-! I just tortured your girlfriend! What's wrong with you?"

"Umm, well, I mean, it could have been worse," Sakurako noted, she thought quite reasonably.

"But... the... and..." Evangeline sputtered, gesturing at Chamo.

"Well, I mean, if you really wanted to torture her, you might have handcuffed her and told her that the only way she could get loose was to saw off her own foot," Sakurako offered up helpfully. "Or you could put a mask on her, with a lock on it, and the only key in someone's stomach, and set it up so that if she doesn't unlock it by a time it'll tear her jaw off. Ooh! Or you could put her in an iron lung type thing, and feed her through a tube to a funnel, and get her to trust you, and when she does, you pour molten metal down the tube and into her -"

"Um, Sa-Saku, I don't want to second guess you, but is it really a good idea to give her ideas like this?" Satomi asked, far more hesitantly than was her wont.

Sakurako paused, took a good long look at Eva's frozen horrified expression, and looked back at Satomi. "Yeah, I think we're good." And paused, then continued, just as hesitantly. "And, you know, you did, well, sort of look cute all naked and helpless like that, you know. I'm really kinda turned on right now."

"You're what?" Eva snapped.

"You're what?" Satomi echoed, a little more quietly.

To Evangeline's annoyance, it was pretty clear that Sakurako was answering Hakase when she answered. "I'm turned on. Actually a lot turned on. You know, this last little while has been a little frustrating, what with you trying so hard to impress Chao in that thing with Skuld-chan, and I've been feeling sort of neglected with you doing that, with no breaks for smoochy face time. But here you are, all naked and embarrassed already, and you're turned on, too, see, with these nipples still so hard -" Sakurako paused to flick them gently, making them harden even further. "- so really, why don't we just do it?"

It has been said, and said often, that people are liked for their qualities, and loved for their flaws. To someone who prized logic and rationality, someone who almost embodied illogic and irrationality could really only be said to be flawed. Perhaps it was that, in combination with the rush of hormones through her mind, which made Satomi croak out, "Okay."

"Yaay!" Sakurako shouted, and started to pull down her pajama bottoms.

"Woohoo!" Chamo shouted as the panties she was wearing underneath were exposed. This proved to be a mistake, as it reminded Evangeline of his presence. With a glare, she turned and threw him out the door of the room with great force. Ignoring the rather wet smacking sound (and faint cry of "Animal abuse!") that he made on impact, she turned back to look at the two girls. To her stunned horror, Sakurako was mounted on Satomi's body, with the scientist's face pressed into her crotch as she finished the job of stripping Satomi of her panties.

"Are you seriously just going to do this in front of me?" Evangeline yelled at them.

"Well, you don't have to watch," Sakurako pointed out. "Ah, see, you're very turned on right now, Satchan! All wet and gooey here! Let me clean you up!" And with that, she promptly began licking at the flower of Satomi's joy, her tongue giving freqent and delicate attention to the clitoris.

Satomi's head fell back from its position between Sakurako's thighs and let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a scream, her eyes gone almost blank.

"Ah, even as I clean up, it gets messier and messier!" Sakurako claimed, her tone clearly not as dismayed by the circumstance as her words would have indicated. "I think we're gonna have to use some other methods, here. Fortunately, I've got this."

Eva blinked as Sakurako pulled a double-ended dildo out of her pajama top. "What? Where in the world did you get that?"

"I picked it up while your maid was kidnapping me," she explained. "Isn't that lucky?"

* * *

><p>"Yes, Negi! And Other-Negi! And Yet-A-Third-Negi! Take me, take me now!" Misa cried out as the three thoroughly Reverse- Genji-Hikaru'd Negis, their members swollen with desire for her and her alone, bore her to the ground of the flower-filled field and began to make sweet passionate love to her. And then Madoka was bending over her saying, "Misa, wake up, something's happened."<p>

After a brief moment where she considered murdering her room-mate, since no jury would ever convict her under these circumstances, Misa sleepily asked, "Wha?"

"Sakurako! She's missing! She's not in her bed!" Madoka told her, glancing in the direction of Sakurako's bed.

Misa lifted her head and looked over at Sakurako's bed, confirming that, yes, Sakurako was not to be found there. "Bafroom," she said, closing her eyes. "Go 'way."

"She's not in the bathroom. I already looked there. And I think there was some sort of a struggle! The window's open, and so are some of our drawers!"

Misa opened her eyes again, and looked about. Sure enough, the drawer where she kept her premarital marital aids was open. It might be worth it to check to see whether anything was missing. "We'da hurd sompin," Misa opined. "'S no big deal. Go 'way."

"Dammit, Misa, this is our friend we're talking about here!" Madoka said, dropping the whisper she'd been using up until this point. "We've got to do something!"

Misa drew in a deep breath. "Okay," she said, speaking much more intelligibly. "Let's say that she was kidnapped. Will she be more kidnapped in a few hours, after I finish my beauty sleep?"

"The trail will be colder by then!" Madoka insisted.

"I'm not a detective. Neither are you. We'll get help when people are less likely to wish death upon us for waking them up!" To her credit, she was thinking of Negi and the pactio cards when she said it, rather than just wanting to get back to her wonderful, wonderful dream.

Madoka made a few more arguments, but Misa proved impervious to them as she slowly slipped back into her sleep. She was a bit annoyed that she didn't get back to the dream of the Negis, but the one where she was living in a house with that cute butler from the Konoe mansion was kind of cool, too...

* * *

><p>Evangeline decided not to think about the implications of Sakurako's remark, because she suspected that they were going to give her a serious headache, later. "And how can you be planning to use that thing? Aren't you a -"<p>

"Virgin?" Sakurako asked, then laughed merrily. "Don't be silly, Eva-chan, I'm a cheerleader and in my third year of junior high school! Of course not!"

Evangeline was too appalled at being called 'Eva-chan' to say anything as Sakurako slid one end of the dildo up into her with a little gasp, and then startled to scissor her hips together with those of Satomi. "Are you ready to feel really good, Sat-chan?"

"I-I-I, aiyaiyai... yes," Satomi eventually said.

"Well, then, here we go!"

This was not how Satomi had ever imagined that she'd lose her virginity. Admittedly, she'd gotten used to the idea that she'd be losing it to a girl, particularly after last Christmas. (And actually, looking back at it, she'd realized that Chao might have been flirting with her a couple of times when they were working together. It was hard to be sure with her, though.) But she`d always expected that she'd be in bed when it happened. Or possibly a shower, or a bath, or ... well, lying back on a stone floor while Evangeline stared at her hadn't been any part of her visualization of this event.

(Sometimes there had been other people staring at her, and/or joining in, but that was a different set of issues.)

Yet here she was, watching Sakurako lubricate the top of the other side of the dildo, rubbing it up against her vulva and clitoris in ways that caused rather exciting sensations. And then its head was sliding up into her, spreading the walls of the passage further than her rudimentary explorations with her fingers had ever done. There was an instant of shocking pain, and then she could feel it moving even more deeply yet.

She wanted to say something silly and sweet, like, "We're one." But it was strange. It didn't feel like they were one, not really. Sakurako was over there, hunching her hips to make the dildo move back and forth inside of her, not in her arms, or pressed up against her. They weren't really touching; it was more like they were using the same object as an object of onanism. It felt... good, but there was an emptiness, too.

And then her hand, shaking a bit with the sensations she was feeling, found Sakurako's hand, and the two hands clasped together. She looked at it, looked up the arm attached to it, and found Sakurako's sweetly smiling face, just as the other girl chose that moment to say, "We're one."

The emptiness was gone. "Yes," she said back. It was all right now. She would never be able to say things like that with a straight face. But the silly person could, and that would make it all all right...

The final rush came. (Oh, she thought vaguely, that must be why they call it that.) Its kind was familiar to her from the nights spent alone and masturbating to fantasies of Kazuya-sempai, even if its degree was unlike anything she'd ever known before. It made her fall back, losing the sight of Sakurako's face for the dimly lit recesses of the room's ceiling. But she never let go of her hand.

And apparently that helped to pull Sakurako up, so that a few moments later, she was bending over Satomi's supine form, leaning down to kiss her, once more, and say, "My turn next, right?"

"No!" shouted Evangeline's voice. "Not your turn next! Get out of here next! Both of you, out, out!"

"But we can't leave for a day after we came in, so -" Sakurako pointed out.

"OUUUUUUT! Go down to the beach, go fly a kite, do whatever you want but get out of my house!"

* * *

><p>Sometime later, Satomi opened the door of her dormitory room and crept in, trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking her roommates. Alas, stealth was not one of the areas in which she was gifted. (<em>Memo to self: develop skills in this area<em>, she thought with a wince as everything she did made noise. Admittedly, there were a lot of self-memos in the queue ahead of it.) For instance, Arika-sama had easily found her out while entering through the front door, looking oddly at her for a moment and then giving her what almost had looked like a sign of approval from the couch were she slept. Satomi had to wonder what had that been about...

"Satomi-san!" Negi yelped as he sat up in bed beside Chisame, who likewise winced at the sound but didn't open her eyes just yet. "Thank goodness that you're all right!"

She was surprised enough by that remark to forebear from chastising Negi for imputing her safe return to non-existent personifications of moral value. "Did you have some idea that I was in danger, Sensei?"

Chisame did open her eyes now and sat up as well. "He had a dream about you in some kind of danger. Got him really exc- upset," she said, changing words in mid-sentence. "Everything was actually all right, right?"

"Well, I suppose that you could say that nothing too bad happened, but I was kidnapped by Evangeline's maids and dragged to her resort as part of an attempt at revenge," Satomi mused aloud. "As I said, nothing too bad happened. I do think I need to have a little talk with Chamo-san about his priorities, though. But it's not too pressing."

Negi's eyes had gotten incredibly wide, but all that emerged from his mouth was the word, "Eh?"

"Oookay," Chisame said at length, after processing all that had just been said. "What did happen, if it wasn't too bad?"

"Oh, it's not so important," Hakase assured her. Inside, her inner mad scientist was laughing maniacally and chanting 'I've got a secret', accompanied by childish taunts. She wondered whether this was what Chao felt like all the time. No wonder she smiled so much, if this was the case. "In any event, I just came by to get a change of clothes before I head back to the lab."

"Ah," Chisame said, nodding in weary understanding as Satomi headed over to the closet and began drawing out a fresh lab coat to replace the slightly ragged one she was wearing. "Because they interrupted your work on the competition. Right."

"Actually, I'm going to be doing some other things for a while," Satomi said as she stepped behind a curtain to get dressed out of Negi's sight. She didn't want to confuse the poor boy by showing him what she was almost wearing under the coat she'd salvaged from the wreckage of her clothes before leaving the resort. Well, the notion was actually a bit more appealing now, but it was probably unkind. "I've got to make some modifications to Chachamaru's chassis, and also I'm going to be spending a lot more time with Sakurako-chan, too."

"Sakurako-chan," Chisame repeated. "Right. So what did she have for dinner, anyway?"

"Something with mangos, I think," Satomi answered promptly. Then she realized what was implied by the fact that she knew that, and flushed. "Or possibly not," she added lamely.

"This is another one of those conversations that's going to be explained to me when I'm older, isn't it?" Negi asked.

"You're getting good at recognizing them."

* * *

><p>With the exceptional agility one would expect of a cheerleader possessed of supernatural powers, Sakurako snuck back into her room through the still-open window she'd been dragged out of earlier that night. She guessed that her roommates must still be asleep. Well, that was understandable, since the sun was just now starting to rise.<p>

As it happened, her guess was only half-right. Madoka was slumbering in a chair facing the window, baseball bat close at hand, and she jerked awake as soon as Sakurako set foot to floor. "Saku!" she hissed. "Where the heck have you been?"

Misa's eyes slid half-way open at the sound of Madoka's voice. She noted Sakurako's presence, grunted acknowledgement, and closed her eyes again to try and get more sleep.

Sakurako opened her mouth to tell Madoka where she'd been. "E-" At the last second she remembered that Madoka still had no notion of all the strangeness that was going on. Telling her about Eva's resort would not be a good idea. "E- Ipanema!" she said instead.

Madoka boggled. "Ipanema? You went to freaking Brazil?!"

"Best beach in the world," Sakurako said, nodding vigorously as she envisioned herself digging a hole while she was inside it.

"What were you doing there?" Madoka demanded.

Total blankness filled Sakurako's mind. There was nothing to do but try honesty. "I was having sex!" she said happily. Oh, honesty felt goooooood. Almost as good as the sex had!

As Madoka face-faulted, Misa's eyes snapped open and she reared up from her supine position. "Hakase, right?" she asked, grim-faced. _Please don't let it have been Negi, please don't let it have been Negi._

Sakurako nodded even more vigorously. "Satomi-chan!" she confirmed, happy to be spreading the joyous news.

Misa smiled then. "That's my girl," she said, and held up a fist. "Sis Fist!" As Sakurako bumped fists with her, Misa's mind was filled with the certainty that she was not about to lose to Sakurako. _Negi, you will be mine_.

Madoka sighed as she got up from the floor where she'd landed. "Well, at least you two are the same age," she muttered.

"What was that?" Misa asked sharply.

"Nothing," Madoka said virtuously as she headed over to her bed. "Now, I'm going to try and get some sleep, since someone has kept me up worrying."

"Awww, that's sweet!" Sakurako cooed. "Don't worry, though, Madoka-chan, someday Kodaka-sempai will notice you!"

"Thank you," Madoka said, blushing a bit.

"And if not, then surely Suzumiya will give her a tumble," Misa said as she settled back down again.

The thrown pillow slammed into Misa's head with great force.

* * *

><p>A little while later, relatively speaking, Evangeline found herself seated outside of Starbooks, punishing herself by drinking their swill. And, of course, pouting. She'd had such a brilliant plan to humiliate and degrade Hakase and Shiina, and not only had it not worked, but they'd actually ended up even more nauseatingly happy than they'd been before. So infuriating.<p>

Even worse than all that, she was hearing the whispering from the assorted onlookers and patrons again.

_"Hey, isn't that her? The little girl from the Martial Arts Tournament? Ah, isn't she cute? She can't be that strong, being so cute and small!"_

"_Yeah, well, all those fights were so fixed, you know."_

_"I heard that she's actually a total soft touch."_

_"I heard that she abandons sworn oaths of vengeance at the drop of a hat."_

_"I heard that he's a giant chicken."_

Her head snapped up at that one. What?

"Buck-aw?" said Boo-sensei, passing through on some errand. "Buck-buck-bruck-buck-bock-brrraaah?"

"No, sensei," she answered, tensely. "Nothing is the matter." And she closed her eyes and tried to relax her back against the chair.

"Good morning, Master," Chachamaru said as she walked up to the table and sat down, a reasonably long while after.

Well, this was a distraction, at least. "Where were you this morning?" she demanded. "You left the house before dawn."

"Hakase summoned me to her laboratory," Chachamaru explained. "Apparently, she wishes to make certain modifications to my epidermis, and install certain newly developed peripherals, as well. I am somewhat confused by her explanation, but apparently, she wishes me to know the same joys she has recently discovered."

Eva's face collapsed to the tabletop. "She's making you anatomically correct," she muttered. "I've created a monster."

"Master?" Chachamaru asked, not sure what was meant by that.

"Never mind," Eva said, getting up again. "You'll find out soon enough."

"Very well," Chachamaru said complacently.

For a moment, Evangeline stared at her partner. "Why do you just accept that?" she asked suddenly. "Aren't you curious?"

"Yes, but I accept that you would tell me if it was of critical importance," the gynoid explained.

"Why do you believe that?" Eva pressed. "Why do you trust me so much?"

"... because you are my Master," Chachamaru answered after some hesitation.

Evangeline grunted. "Ah. So it's just your programming, then. Figures."

"No," Chachamaru said, after some more hesitation. "I do not think that it is. My programming requires me to obey your orders as absolutes, except where contraindicated. But you have never ordered me to trust you. I think, then, that I trust you... because you have never ordered me to do so, even though it would be a trivial act."

The tiny vampire looked away. "That's Stockholm Syndrome, not trust. Small favors being magnified into incredible kindnesses, out of desperation and fear." Her lips curled in a snarl of disgust.

"I do not fear you, Master."

"You should," Evangeline growled. "All of you should."

Chachamaru was silent for several moments, before she finally spoke again, in a somewhat cooler tone. "In addition to never ordering me to trust you, you have never ordered me not to criticize you. And it occurs to me that if permitting small favors to be magnified into incredible kindnesses out of fear is a contemptible weakness, then so is insisting on magnifying one's own petty cruelties into -"

"Shut up," Evangeline snapped.

And of course, Chachamaru obeyed the order.

"The fact that I don't do half or more of the things that I could do is not virtue," the vampire continued. "It's laziness and sloth, more than anything else. Those are sins, last time I checked."

Chachamaru looked dubious.

"What?" Eva growled.

The gynoid held up a sign. _'Someone told me to shut up,'_ it read.

Another growl, and her hands clenched the edges of the table. "Speak if you've a mind to speak."

She promptly did so. "I question whether or not the wisdom to recognize that certain acts are pointless, or will simply serve as a momentary entertainment, and the mercy to not undertake them, can really be considered laziness."

"I don't know how you do it, making good of nothing at all," Evangeline groaned, lying her head flat on the table once more. "How someone who knows me as well as you do can insist on believing the best about me... it's just unfathomable."

"Yes, Master," Chachamaru said.

"I'm tired," Evangeline said, without looking up. "I'm going home to bed."

"Hm," said a certain person who was watching from somewhere else. "Methinks something needs doing, here."

* * *

><p>What with one thing and another, Evangeline didn't get back to her cabin until much later, late enough that she was physically weary in addition to the emotional fatigue that had afflicted her earlier in the day. She was tired enough that when she got dressed for bed, and her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light, instead of spending time going over her grudges, old and new, as she generally did every day.<p>

So in a way it wasn't all that surprising that she 'awakened' into a very vivid dream. It was a fairly familiar one, too. One of the wonderful perks of living forever was a tendency towards flashbacks to dramatic events of one's past, and she'd reflected on this day quite a few times over these past fifteen years. She knew that she was dreaming, but moved in accordance with her memories nonetheless, both observer and participant.

As always, in this particular dream. Chachazero awakened her with the cheerful news that the village which had driven them out the other day - after they'd obligingly rescued it from a few demons who'd shown up for no good reason - was presently being attacked by an even larger army of the dark folk. She tromped out to watch, and could smell the scent of ash in the wind.

She laughed exultantly as the borrowed coat she was wearing fluttered behind her in the wind. "Serves 'em right!" she cried. "Shun me, will they? Well, now it's time to pay the piper! Isn't it hilarious?" she said, turning to her traveling companion.

Nagi was staring down at the burning village, his face unreadable.

_And now he'll grab his tattered old jacket off of my shoulders, and race down to help those idiots. He'll get hurt, and hurt badly, fighting for people who turned their backs on him. Oh, they'll thank him this time, but it's hardly worth it. But he'll do it anyway, and -_

"Yeah," Nagi said heavily. "Serves 'em right."

_Huh?_

"Let's get out of here, before the demons get the idea that we're up here, rather than down there," he said, turning to start ambling down the trail that led away from the town. "You still cold? You can keep the coat if you want it."

Eva found herself blinking. This ... wasn't what had happened. Not at all. The dream was taking a strange shape.

Of course, her self in the past didn't realize that. "Hey!" she shouted. "Don't you just walk away from me, I'm not done with you yet! You can't pay me off with a coat!"

"Wow, there's a shocker," she heard him mutter as he kept walking. Naturally, she followed him.

"And it's a crappy coat, too!"

* * *

><p>They didn't encounter any demons that day; whatever army had marched into the town had apparently satisfied themselves with what they found there, without sending out search parties for those who'd beaten their scouts so badly the other day. No obstacle of demon kind stood athwart their path, nor any of the human kind either. They didn't see anyone.<p>

Nor did they talk all that much. Usually, Evangeline would pepper Nagi with demands that he start taking her and her challenges seriously, with Chachazero throwing in her descriptions of the sorts of things she looked forward to seeing from their battle. When Nagi spoke in response, it was usually to mock them or none-too-subtly suggest that they go elsewhere.

Today, though, he kept silent, and the Evangeline of the past eventually stopped trying to provoke him, clearly frustrated by his silent reserve. Chachazero managed to find a different distraction by chasing butterflies, catching them, and slowly vivisecting them.

Eventually, they made camp in a clearing in the woods. Nagi built a campfire from fallen branches, and then, to Eva's disgust, started the fire with flint and steel, rather than a spell. "Have we reverted to our inner boy scout, now?" she sneered.

That got a reaction out of him, at least. "Hey, hey, don't go mocking the Scouts," he answered. "Learned a lot of cool stuff from their field books."

Of course, she snorted. And after another interval of silence, she found herself asking, "So why didn't you go help those stupid villagers?"

"Do I need a reason?" he asked, not meeting her gaze.

"No, but you've got one."

"Eh," he said, shrugging. "I'd just cause even more havoc, right? They showed up because we were there, yesterday. If we drove 'em off again today, they'll show up tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. This way, they'll get bored." He shrugged again. "Probably shitty for the villagers, but hey, life's a bitch, right?"

She swallowed. "Yeah. Yeah, it is. You're starting to think my way." Her wicked little smile came back.

"Guess so," Nagi allowed. And now he turned to look at her. "So, about that offer last night. Still on the table?"

_Won't you be mine?_ She'd asked him that. He'd said nothing.

This called for her to say something clever.

"Uh," she said.

"Woohoo! We're finally getting some action again, master!" Chachazero enthused beside her. "Are you gonna do that thing with the knife and the feathers? The way that guy managed to scream himself hoarse was really cool!"

Once again, her doll had done her a favor without realizing or intending it. Evangeline finally found her voice. "Chachazero, shut down."

"What?" the doll said, spinning to look up at her. "But - but, mistress, I wanna watch!"

"What part of shut down are you having problems understanding?"

"Aw, mann-" Chachazero whined, but the whine and any motion that the doll might have made ceased abruptly. Nagi gently picked her up and moved her back from the fire.

"Nice of you," Eva growled. "So. About that accepting my offer just now. What are you trying to do?"

Nagi sighed. "For Pete's sake. I'm bored, and there's a girl nearby who's really cute and has expressed an interest. So naturally I must have some sort of sinister plan in mind! If you were kidding around, last night, just say so and I'll go back to trying to get you off my case."

"I wasn't kidding!" she objected. The problem was, she wasn't sure what, if not kidding, she'd actually been trying to do. The words had come out of nowhere, surprising her as much as they probably had surprised him. No one could make her so uncertain and confused as this idiot.

"Well, then," he said, leaning in over her head. "Maybe we should see where this goes. And the only way to see that is to actually go there."

Eva throttled the impulse to gulp as he looked down at her from a distance of a few inches. Without a word, she sembled into her more grownup form.

Nagi blinked, lifted up a hand to run a finger down her jawline from her ear. "It's a remarkable illusion," he said. "Up until you lost it, back then, I really didn't have a clue that's what it was. Can you really keep it up, even when -"

"I only lose it when I panic," she said, voice turned low and sultry. "I don't see any reason for me to be panicking right now. Do you?" Her hand reached out to press against his abdomen - not to push him away, merely to experience the somewhat unfamiliar sensation of resting a hand on someone for a purpose other than punching that person.

"No," he said, drawing even closer. "Unless you're afraid of this sort of thing, too."

And their lips touched. The kiss was surprisingly gentle at first, but their mutual hunger made it deepen quickly, tongues reaching out to rub against each other even as their hands were rubbing against each other's faces and bodies. One of her hands, the one pressed against his abdomen, slid down until its fingers were rubbing against a hardness.

"Oh, my," she said, pulling back from the kiss. "Someone's excited, aren't they?"

"I told you that I was," he said, reaching down towards the hand.

"Ah, no," she said, and he stopped in mid-reach. "I can handle this." It was a simple matter of getting the zipper undone, and then the boxers out of the way. "Well," she said, swallowing. "Someone is very excited." And with that, she started to bend down towards the evidence of his excitement.

"Uh, moving pretty fast, there," Nagi said.

She paused, looked up at him with a grin that displayed her fangs to full effect. "What's the matter, boy, scared?" Before he could answer that, she took him into her mouth. Well, most of him. It was a rather large unit, after all. He leaned back as she began to bob up and down on it, licking each sensitive portion of the engorged organ.

Owing to the strange nature of what was happening, the odd way that the dream was going further and further away from what happened, Eva's self-awareness was not as well-focused as it might have been. And so the first warning that she had of something being wrong was when she heard the footfall on the ground behind her.

"Oh, boy," she heard Nagi say in a rather frightened tone. "Uh... this isn't what it looks like."

"Indeed," said a cool, formal and very female voice. "And would you be so kind as to explain, then, what it in fact is, if it is not what it looks like?"

Evangeline pulled back quickly and whirled around to glare at the intruder on this private moment. And the version of her mind that was well-aware that this was all just a dream wondered what in the world possessed her subconscious, to bring that one into it?

The spoiler, as both sides of her bifurcated mind thought of her, looked down at her with a cold expression from those mismatched eyes that glowed with anger, beneath a haircut that resembled her own far too closely for Evangeline's comfort. That hair was darker, almost golden, in contrast to the pale straw color of the vampire's locks, and she was staring down at Eva with a disdainful expression.

There was no mistaking her appearance.

"Arika Anarchia Entheofushia," Eva sneered, looking up at her.

"Indeed so," the Queen of Calamity agreed, and then promptly shifted her gaze off of Evangeline as though dismissing her utterly from her thoughts. "I am waiting for that explanation, Nagi. With bated breath."

Nagi took in a deep breath. "Okay, the truth is that I was lying, that was what it looked like."

"Imagine my stunned surprise."

"But there's still more to the situation than meets the eyes!"

"Do tell."

"You see, I actually had a hunch that you'd be showing up around now."

Now Arika's classically elegant eyebrow quirked up. "Indeed."

Nagi nodded forcefully. "And I was trying to get her ready ... for both of us!"

"You were trying what now?" Eva said, breaking off her fierce glower in Arika's direction to snap her head around to Nagi's direction.

The eyebrow stayed high on Arika's forehead. "Indeed?" Only the slightest of intonations distinguished this comment from the earlier one.

"Yeah! Doesn't she kinda remind you of Iri?" Nagi asked, resting his hands on Evangeline's cheeks and turning her face so that she was looking at Arika again.

"Who the flaming fishsticks is Iri?" Eva demanded.

"As I recall, Iri was sweet-tempered and well-behaved," Arika responded. "And while I enjoyed her company, I believe you enjoyed our time together with her and Kiritsugu much more than I did."

"Kiritsugu? Magus killer Kiritsugu? What the -"

Arika continued to ignore her. "Be that as it may, I am willing to endure a great deal as a result of our relationship, but to see you intimately entangled with a prepubescent vampire is a bit much to take."

"Prepubescent?!" Eva shrieked.

"She's kinda good at seeing through illusions," Nagi hissed into her ear, before speaking in the same elaborately jovial tone as before. "Aw, come on, Arika-chan!" he said. (And that was a bit odd because they weren't speaking Japanese.) "Don't be so hard on her. Why, she was just telling me, a little while ago, how cool and sensuous she thought you were!"

Eva's head once more whipped around to glare daggers at Nagi. "I never said that! At no time have I ever said that! In no possible version of events would I EVER say something like that!"

"Such a cute liar she is!" Nagi insisted, grinning just a bit desperately.

Arika was silent. Evangeline turned around again to glare at her, and found that the fallen queen was regarding her with an expression best described as speculative. When she spoke again, there was a certain reluctance in her voice, but something else, too, something oddly unfamiliar to Eva. "She is not without a certain cuteness," Arika allowed.

Evangeline felt her jaw drop. "Are you kidding me?" she demanded.

"I generally leave the jests to those better suited to them," Arika replied, and reached out with a hand to gently caress Eva's cheek almost exactly as Nagi had, a few moments earlier.

"But, but, you, I -" the vampire stammered.

"Oh, come now," Arika interrupted, sounding slightly vexed. "I am familiar with your story, Maga Nosferatu. This is hardly the first time a woman has expressed interest in you. What was that girl's name, Miraclla?"

"Something like that," Evangeline admitted through clenched teeth, not at all happy to have one of the few things in her life that she genuinely regretted thrown in her face. Her curse was bad enough, and she hadn't wanted to spread it, but - how did the spoiler know all this, anyway? And why was she dropping down, heedless of the dirt on her skirt, and leaning in to press her lips to Evangeline's, and ohhhhhhh.

* * *

><p>Arika was a very good kisser. Who knew? And she was also good at undressing people, surprisingly so for someone who probably had had servants to dress her growing up. (Admittedly, so had Eva, but she'd murdered most if not all of them, and anyway it had been longer ago, and so completely different.) And she was good with her hands, too, as Eva learned when one of them came up to cup her breast and squeeze it quite firmly, firm enough to provoke a moan from someone whose sense of touch was diminished by the illusion in which she was enmeshed.<p>

"Oh, I think someone likes that," Nagi mused in response to that moan.

"I think someone likes hearing someone liking that," Eva responded, glancing over at his erection, risen up again. "Is the pretty princess -"

"Queen," Arika interjected, biting Eva's nipple for emphasis.

"Ah! - the, the queenly queen familiar with such base things as a tag-team blowjob?"

She looked up at her. "'Queenly queen'?" Arika asked, eyebrow raised again

"Hey, you come up with an adjective in a hurry and see how you do!" Eva yelled back, hiding her embarassment. Did the spoiler have to call attention to what had just happened like that?

Having succeeded in flustering her, Arika finally answered her question. "As it happens, before I was a queen, I was familiarized with all manner of intriguing activities while being initiated into -"

"So that's a yes, then?" Eva interjected, not being interested in the spoiler's backstory.

"Yes," Arika said coldly.

"Then let's do this thing," Eva said, pulling away from the other woman to go down before Nagi, leaving barely enough space for Arika to come in beside her, as she quickly did. Immediately, they began to caress his length with their tongues, working in synchrony that was actually quite surprising to Eva. (At least, it was surprising to the parts of Eva's mind that weren't well aware that this was just a dream, and that the person beside her was just part of her imagination. Why she was imagining this sort of thing went unexamined.)

As they worked upon him, Nagi's fingers ran through their hair, as he leaned back, said 'ah yeah' and similar expressions of satisfaction.

Something about that left Eva with a sense of dissatisfaction, for reasons she didn't quite understand. What she did understand was what to do about it. "Hey!" she said, rearing up. "Don't think that you can just lie there and let me do all the work, you big jerk, you -"

"Wasn't even considering it."

And then, quite before she could process those words, Eva felt pressure at her back and abruptly found herself considerably closer to the stupid mouth which had said them. Why that bitch, she thought, with that part of her mind which could think while being kissed even more passionately than she had been earlier. How dare she shove me out of the way so that she can have sole access to his wait what is she doing with her hands on my hips?

"And down she comes," she heard Arika say. Then she was pulled back down, and felt something both hard and soft pressing up against a portion of her anatomy that had been denuded just a few moments earlier. It moved up and into her, pressing against parts not disguised by the skin-deep illusion of maturity, parts that had not developed in her life for all that they'd been used quite a bit since her life ended.

Evangeline gasped as she felt Arika's gentle caress on her behind, but her attention was firmly fixed forward on the person who was pounding up into her. His face filled her vision. It was bathed in that smile she'd seen on his face during their fight.

_How strange,_ she thought, with the few parts of either of her minds that could still think. _He was never this happy when he was with me, except when he was fighting. Why am I only realizing this now?_ Her thoughts were banished almost completely as a tongue danced along the place where her body met his, joining their congress but only at a distance.

Her orgasm took almost no time at all, and it was one of the fiercest of her experience. Of course, it was only the dream of an orgasm, and not the real thing. Or so she chose to believe.

"Well, then," she heard Arika say, sometime later. "I suppose that it's time for me to be going, then."

"Huh?" she asked cleverly. "Aren't you going to -"

The fallen queen wasn't looking at her. "This has not been without its amusing moments, but I think I'm done here. I think that... we are done, aren't we?" She was looking at Nagi, and her expression was bleak.

"Yeah," he said. "I think we are." His tone was every bit as dull as it had been while he was overlooking the village burning.

"Wait, what? You're, you're dumping him because of me?" Evangeline demanded.

"Do not flatter yourself, disciple of darkness," Arika said, still not looking at her. "You are a symptom of a much larger problem. I saw the village, Nagi. I saw what was left of it. And you did nothing."

"I'm tired of fighting," Nagi replied. "It's been my life for way too long, and it's stopped being fun a while ago."

That was ridiculous, Evangeline thought. He'd been, when they fought ... except they hadn't, had they? He'd employed tricks to end the fight it ever getting started. But, but...

"You're not the person I fell in love with, anymore," Arika said, getting up and shaking her head. "If that one makes you happy, so be it. I wish you well. But I can't be a part of the path that you're walking."

"Well, that's fine. I won't be lonely," Nagi said, and he was smiling at Evangeline now, an empty smile but a genuine one.

"No," she said.

"Yeah," he said, nodding.

"No, I don't mean you won't be lonely, I mean, no, no to all of this." And she was shouting. "This isn't funny anymore! I don't like this dream anymore! Stop it! Stop it, do you hear me?!" Turning into a scream. "I said STOP!"

And the entire area around her, her own disguise and Nagi and Arika's forms as well, shattered into billions of fragments, leaving her in a vast white space.

But not alone.

* * *

><p>"I am impressed, Kitty," the one with her said. "A powerful mage might be able to alter the course of a dream. But it takes an unfathomably powerful one to destroy it, simply by will alone. But then, you are what you are."<p>

"You," she hissed, glaring at him with eyes turned into bright red slits.

"I really wonder why everyone always says that," Albireo Imma mused. "I mean, just what is someone supposed to say in response? 'No, it's not me'? Of course, I suppose that when it's a prelude to abuse -"

"You eggplant-faced mind-fucking perverted bastard son of a bitch!" Eva shrieked as she tried a spin kick to his head. He backstepped easily.

"- that's a different matter," Al continued as though he hadn't been rudely interrupted.

For an extended interval, they kept on like that, Eva trying to beat Al up and Al casually dodging her best efforts while making topical observations like an American stand-up comedian. Given the givens, it was impossible to tell how long the interval lasted, but Eva was rather tired at the end.

"What was the point of all that?" she finally hissed.

"Well, there are a number of possible explanations for why I did that, Kitty."

"Stop calling me that."

He didn't even bother to pretend he wasn't ignoring that. "The first, and likely most obvious, is that I was, to borrow a phrase from someone, trolling you."

"Well, obviously!" Evangeline sneered.

"I think I said that it was obvious," Al noted, just a bit reproachfully. "In any event, another possible explanation - really more of a set of possible explanations - is that I was trying to teach you a lesson that would be ultimately to your own benefit."

"Lesson!" the little vampire roared. "Where do you get off trying to teach me anything?"

"Well, this is a school, Kitty. And I'm one of the very few people in these parts who can expect you to call him sempai. Of course, it'd be cuter if you were wearing the uniform when you did it," he added, as an obvious afterthought. "Or possibly a school swimsuit... oooh, cute image right there."

"There are no circumstances where I will ever call you sempai," Eva told him.

"... you realize that I am the sort of person who takes statements like that as a challenge, right?" Al said, eyes gleaming beneath the hood of his robe.

"In any event, what lesson were you trying to teach?" Evangeline asked, calming down a bit, largely because she didn't want him focusing on that supposed challenge.

"Oh, dear. If I'd been successful, you wouldn't have to ask that question," Al mused somberly.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Of course, since that's the case, I don't really feel obligated to answer it," he added. "Which leads back to the trolling, since there were several lessons I could have been trying to teach. Like taking better care of one's shields against psychic intrusion, or the importance of using protection against STDs. Both of which you're a little deficient -"

"I am a vampire, I don't get STDs!"

"Orrrr," Albireo continued on, dragging out the word quite a bit. "I might have been trying to teach you that we like people for their qualities, and love them for their flaws... and that which is which is very much a matter of opinion. In that little drama just now, I replaced one of Nagi's flaws in your view - the fact that he viewed you as a child - with something you might consider a quality - accepting you as woman full grown." Quite suddenly, he was leaning close enough to her that she could see his unsmiling face. "And you didn't care for that change."

Evangeline tried to hold his gaze, and failed. She looked away first. "No," she said. "I didn't like it. Is that it, then? For him to become the sort of person who'd love someone like me, he'd have to be the sort of person I wouldn't want in my life. Great lesson. You're a wonderful teacher," she told him, with sarcasm practically dripping from her mouth.

"Ah well," Al said, drawing back. "I could just have been trolling, after all."

"Where are you now, anyway?" Eva asked. "Ever since the Lifemaker was defeated, you just—"

"I have the strangest feeling that if I told you, you'd come find me and use my book's pages as toilet paper," Al mused.

"Stop reading my miiiind!"

"So I'll just say that I'm still not too far away from where you are now and leave it at that. In any event... it's time to wake up."

He proceeded to do a fingerflick at her forehead that made her dream image vanish, leaving him alone in the white zone. He looked around a bit wearily. "It's going to be hard to fix this for the next time I'll need it," he said to himself, considering the source of this havoc. He couldn't quite keep a sad smile from his face.

_Ah, Evangeline. So quick to go only half the distance. So unwilling to accept that other people might love you for your flaws that you build up your qualities until you become quite unlikable for them. You still have so much to learn. But then, who doesn't?_

_Good thing we're both stuck here at a school._

* * *

><p>She woke up panting hoarsely, most likely from rage she couldn't channel otherwise, covered in sweat clinging to her night clothes. A full body shudder rang through her as she sat back up on the bed, waiting for her fury to subside, for her breath to return to normal.<p>

"Haa. Haa. Haa," she gasped, almost chomping at the air, one of her hands tightening on the covers.

Stupid jerk. Of all people, who was he to teach others lessons on morality?

And even if he had been virtuous enough to do that, why should she listen to him? Morality, ethics, those were all lies. The only code she needed was that of her own worth. That had been why she had sicced the ermine on Hakase, and why she had stopped him after that. It wasn't a matter of right or wrong. It was all a matter of -

She shook her head, growing tired of the pointless subject, conveniently in time to stop herself from realizing she did not have an answer for what replaced right and wrong in her eyes.

How annoying. There was too much wetness between her legs, leaving a slight spot at her crotch. Chachamaru wouldn't ask any questions, but she still would know, and somehow, for some reason, the mere idea of it bothered Evangeline. She'd have one of the mindless puppet maids wash these clothes instead.

Right now, she needed a bath to cleanse herself from all reminders of that idiotic dream. She felt completely dirty.

She sleepily marched for her closet, opening it wide, and then her eyes grew just as wide as the doors. Right before her, in front of all her clothes, someone had hung a school swimsuit her size, only in white. It even had her name on the chest. There were several other things pinned to it, all tied together. A folded shirt of an old fashioned school sailor fuku. A set of glasses. Fake cat ears. And a note.

Bristling with anger, she pulled the note close and read.

_This was a favorite of Nagi's_, it said, in a flowery, rather feminine handwriting that yet she still knew belonged to a man. _And although I normally don't care much for his taste, I happen to share this one as well!_

She crumpled the note in a fist and dropped it down. She hoped with 'a favorite of theirs' he meant a favorite to look at, not to wear, although you never knew with those cretins...

Then, huffed to herself, she grabbed the glasses and put them on. Well, these, she could keep, at the very least. They were classy. Her eyesight was perfect, but she still liked to be seen wearing glasses when she was reading. Not that she needed to overcompensate for anything by looking intellectual. It was just it felt right.

Eh. Maybe she could give the swimsuit to Ayase or Miyazaki. Just so it wouldn't go wasted. Childish as it was, it still was made of a good fabric...

Chachamaru could use the cat ears...

By the time Chachamaru went to wake her up that morning, she found Evangeline asleep wearing the swimsuit, with the fuku shirt over it. The glasses on her face, and the nekomimi on her head. And a hand between her legs.

Wisely, the robot chose to silently close the door back and walk away for their special meeting of the Go Club by herself.

She knew that, this once, the Master wouldn't scold her for not waking her up.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	7. Lesson Six

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Darkenning and Shadow Crystal Mage.

With a couple homage winks to A-Z Mark II and his brilliant _Miscalculation_.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Six<strong>.

* * *

><p>Next morning, Asuna woke up, for once, only <em>after<em> her alarm clock went off. Years of early newspaper delivery had made it a given she always would wake before the alarm rang, but that morning, she had been so deeply asleep, the darn thing had finally beaten her up to it. Her slumber-numbed fingers felt around until they found the clock and turned it off, as she sat up on her bunk, rubbing her eyes before stretching up in a yawn. _Damn nightmares_, Kagurazaka bitterly thought. _Maybe I should consult a sleep specialist or something like that, _she pondered while climbing down the bunk, being careful of not waking Konoka up in the lower bunk. _I think I can allow myself one, with the funds Godel-san prepared for me, even if first I must talk with Mana about her honoraries…_ she kept on thinking as she took her pajama shirt off, feeling around in the darkness for her bra, her other hand adjusting her panties in place.

Under the dim light of the wall clock, and with the first glimpses of morning light pouring in through the binds, Asuna could see the temperature in their little thermostat. That year, early autumn had turned into more of the late summer, in a wave of nearly unbearable humid heat. She paused to consider the brassiere in her hand, before discarding it and settling for a lighter, thinner one. _The short skirt and the summer blouse,_ she decided, determined to sweat as little as possible during her delivery route.

While she quickly put on the bra and stuffed her breasts into the cups, her eyes, adjusted to the tenuous light, watched over Konoka, snuggled under her blankets. With a tender smile, Asuna carefully grabbed her hair bells and tied her hair up with them, doing her best as to not make any sound. Then she zipped her skirt up. Making her way over to the door, she pulled on the socks she always would leave there, next to the shoes, as to disturb her friend's sleep as little as possible.

"Make sure of taking the cellphone," she heard a soft mumble just as she was placing a hand on the door's knob. Looking again at Konoka's bunk, she could not see if her eyes were open or not, but that didn't matter; she was well aware Konoka was awake.

"Got it," Asuna said, in the same low tone. "Rest there a little longer, will you?"

"Will do," Konoka replied. Asuna slipped out of the bedroom as she put her shoes on. And, trotting out of the dorms, she headed towards her morning job.

Life was simply unfair, Asuna mused as she marched down the street, vaguely realizing she had not ran into that likable Sempai with short orange hair today, either. One goes to a magical world, one learns one actually is a real bonafide no-joke magical princess, one saves that world and probably this one too, and one even manages to do this in a few days of real-world time as not to lose a single day of damn boring classes… and that was it. Sure, they had tossed a very nice party for them, but the simple wacky parties at her apartment had been better than those pompous homages where everyone seemed to be one second away of kneeling before her. And Godel-san's stipend fund had not been bad, Asuna guessed, but now she finally had money, she realized she had no use for it, other than paying Mana-san.

Other than that, in the outside, nothing in her life seemed to have changed. Yet. She would deliver the newspapers, head back home, take a shower, and then she'd attend classes so…

Why? So she could see Negi?

She didn't want to do that.

Well, she'd simply think of an excuse to skip classes that day.

Of course, that only delayed the solution to the problem, if you even could call it that, but just like Itoshiki-sensei sometimes said, often the only solution to a dilemma was postponing it.

"Ah! Asuna-chan?" Mankanshoku Barazo-san, her fatty, short boss of scarce hair, salaryman glasses and thick eyebrows, seemed really surprised of seeing her. "What are you doing here? We thought you had quit…"

"Excuse me?" Asuna said, stopping before the old street medical office turned into store for newspapers and magazines after too many ill practices. "I know I took a lot of free days during the summer vacation, but…"

"It's okay, Asuna-chan, there's no reason to feel ashamed," said Sukuyo-san, her boss' beautiful and young wife, appearing right behind him as if out of nowhere, which as usual, even now, scared the crap out of Asuna. "Education is every child's first and foremost duty, and we already have a kid ready to take over your route!"

"Although we'd appreciate it a lot if you could show her how it's done, what you say…?" asked Barazo-san, making his best Bambi eyes for the teenager.

"Ehhhh? S-Stop that, please!" Asuna said. "What do you mean, I've quit?"

The married couple traded confused glares for a moment before Barazo-san asked, almost tentatively, "Wasn't it you? 'Cause a gentleman with a very elegant, smooth voice called us… with a accent that was… foreign! And he said he was your new legal guardian, and that you were going to quit your job starting today…"

"A… gentleman? A foreigner?" Asuna repeated, dubiously.

"We're sad to see you go, but we wish you the best of lucks, Asuna-chan!" said Sukuyo-san, clapping for her as Asuna tightened her fists at her own sides.

**"—Godel-san!"**

"Ah?"

* * *

><p>All through the morning, Asuna wandered across the mostly deserted streets; most inhabitants of Academy City were at their classes or jobs, and to further nail the point home, it had started to rain lightly at mid-morning. Most of those who had been out, not being Asuna, had the common sense to hide from the rain. But not her. When Konoka and Negi called her through the Pactio cards, she muttered a half-hearted apology on not feeling that well, and Negi, after an uneasily long silence, agreed to leave her to her own devices for the time being (he did not, however, promise anything on OTHERS not checking on her, which should have alerted Asuna, if only she hadn't been Asuna. Well intentioned as he was, he still was a crafty loophole-exploiting little smartass when he wanted to). She actually thanked him for it and reassumed her miserable wandering around the city she knew as her only real home, the one she loved so much, and yet she never had realized that before learning soon she would have to leave it forever.<p>

But in the end, she knew perfectly well she would have to stop circling around town and return home, as in her actual home. She arrived at the dorm and looked up, only to see her apartment's windows were open. What the…? Konoka still had to be at school, and she'd never leave without closing the windows first, so…

It was puzzling, but it didn't make Asuna worried enough to call for any of the others. She went up the stairs, headed straight for her door, and opened it, walking inside and seeing…

"Ah, it's you, Asuna. _Okaeri_," said Arika, who had been at the kitchen, cooking lunch with a white apron over her Mc Ronald's uniform, and a sedate expression on her face.

Asuna sprang back as if an invisible force had just pulled her from behind. "Gah! What, why are you here!?"

"Negi called me, and asked if I could come over to check on your condition," the woman quietly spoke, her eyes fixed on the kitchen. "Konoka-san was kind enough as to lend me her key, and my turn at my new workplace will not start for another hour, so…"

Asuna ran a hand down her own wet face. "That br—child!"

Arika looked back at her. "If you were feeling ill, why would you be out walking under the rain?"

"Because it was not an illness of the body," Asuna replied with brutal honesty.

Arika stopped for a moment, her face darkened by a melancholic shadow. "I have wanted to talk with you in depth since my arrival, but certain inconvenient situations, and, I will admit it, my own fears have made it impossible," she answered. "I realize you must have several questions about our relationship, and we were never able to discuss them as I would have wanted."

"Oh," said Asuna. Trying desperately to ignore the hollow feeling inside of her.

Despite what certain cradle-robbing class representatives might think, Asuna didn't envy those who had the family she'd never had. Nor did she feel upset when they were happy with them. What she felt was more complicated. What she felt was empty. Incomplete. Like a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle box.

Like she did now. With Arika here, in Negi's life... what could he possibly need from Asuna, or from any of the others for that matter, that his mother couldn't give him? Well, other than _that_, but that wasn't going to happen, of course. And naturally, Konoka had her own family and Setsuna-san, and Takahata-sensei obviously had no use or passion for her, so… where did that leave her? She had spent so long preparing herself to be Takahata-sensei's wife, she now found herself realizing, even if she still had a future, she wouldn't have the foggiest notion of how to spend it, or with whom.

Which, in the long run, probably made things better. Once she was gone, no one would really need her anymore, and she wouldn't have lost anything of any importance either.

And yet, she still couldn't feel contented in the slightest.

Arika turned to look at her, then coughed. "Other than flipping hamburgers, I'm afraid I'm a poor cook. I believe that with some help, however, I can keep these eggs from exploding when they boil."

"Oh," Asuna replied. "Well, I'm not really much better, that's more Konoka's department, but ... I'll try."

She came forward to stand beside the woman, and seeing the problem, turned the burner down just a notch. For a while, they worked together in silence.

"Asuna," Arika said after a while. "Isn't there anything you want to ask me?"

There were lots of things. Asuna understood that they were related, somehow, but her recovered memories didn't exactly include information about how she came to be. But she couldn't just ask. It... just wasn't done. "I... would be happy to learn anything that Arika-sama wanted to tell me," she temporized.

"Heh," the woman said, sounding much like Eva as she did so. "You and I are very much alike, Asuna."

"No way," Asuna said, shaking her head. "I've heard about you, you're much cooler, and smarter, and way better looking, and -"

"Don't belittle yourself unnecessarily," Arika interrupted. "You are beautiful, Asuna-san." She lifted a hand, touched Asuna's bandaged cheek with two fingers. "You are very beautiful."

And then, to Asuna's utter stupefaction, Arika began to lean forward, bringing her face closer and closer towards Asuna's own with unmistakably pursed lips.

At the last moment, Asuna jerked back. "What, what, what are you doing?" she cried. "I don't, I'm not, what, no!"

Arika exhaled what might have been called the start of a sigh. "I apologize."

"Uh, unh, uh-uh," the blushing Asuna said, wondering if she had just misread the woman's strange foreign customs. Once again, her regained memories were of no great help when it came to those cultural things. Maybe because whoever had raised her seemed to have done it in a state of near complete isolation. "Um, so, what happened the other day, back when Chisame punched Negi just like that?" she babbled, well aware she was taking the conversation way off the rails.

"Oh? Did they have a fight? They hadn't told me of that."

"It's hardly a fight when it's only a punch, and it's only one person tossing the other through a window."

"I trust Negi did not punch Chisame back," Arika said evenly.

Asuna glared at her. "I know you all but just met them, but by this point, shouldn't you know better?"

Arika held a pointer finger up. "One never should take anything in life for granted."

"Right. You seem awfully calm for someone who has just been told her son has been punched through a window," Asuna pointed out.

"I am well aware that cannot hurt Negi at all."

"Not physically, maybe," Asuna said. "But emotionally, he's very frail. Chisame better have a damn good explanation for that!"

"I suspect she has one. Don't get me wrong, I will seriously admonish her, but I am all too aware of the great stress and worry she has been through recently. As for Negi's emotional endurance, I suspect strongly he is made from quite sturdier material than you give him credit for, but that's to be debated later. Asuna -"

"Just spit it out already. What are we to each other?" Asuna muttered. "Cousins, right?"

"In a way, since we share grandparents," Arika slowly said. "But it is more complex than that."

"Try me," Asuna challenged. "I might be a Baka, but I'm reasonably sure I can understand a simple family tree."

"There's nothing simple about our family tree," Arika confessed.

"Oh, please!" Asuna tossed a punch on the wall, which cracked ever so slightly. "What's so complicated about a family tree? What, do you have fifteen siblings or something like that? I don't care about that! What I'm curious about is about the relationship you and me, okay, and Negi, share. Okay, once I'd have swooned at the idea of being from a royal family, but you know what? After all I lived through in the Magic World, I learned being a royal is nothing but a drag. No offense intended."

"None taken," Arika replied. "I am all too sadly familiar with the disadvantages of being Ostian royalty. Had I been born a peasant, I doubt that I would have gone through half of the misfortunes that marked my life. But complaining on the subject is pointless."

"That's an easy thing to say when you haven't been born a peasant," Asuna considered. "But let's just cut through the bull already. What's so complicated about our blood relations, then?"

"You have as much of a claim to the throne as I do, since for females, it doesn't matter who was born first," Arika told her.

"What does that have to do with what I asked? Look, even if I happened to be Einstein, or worse, Chao, I still wouldn't play along with being talked to in riddles. Who do I look like, Batman? Just be direct or don't bother to talk at all, because I was just fine before knowing any of this, anyway!"

Arika sighed. Asuna was so very similar to her brother, in her own way, so perhaps a variation of the same speech that had mostly worked on him would do so on her as well. Child upbringing, like everything else, was no doubt a matter of methods. "Very well. Do you want the truth, the full truth, without any reservations or preparations? You do, don't you? No matter what? You are sure you can assimilate it no matter what, so very well, I will honor your request. The truth is this. The truth is... you are my firstborn daughter, in addition to being my sister. Because your father happened to be also my own, who took advantage of my youth and used my body as his sexual plaything. So you are Negi's older sister. That is the truth. Are you happy now you have learned it?"

Asuna stared fixedly at her for a moment, with a complete and utter lack of any expression, before squeaking in pain and crumbling down to pieces before her.

"I thought not," Arika said, lowering her head grimly.

"Grrrnnnfhhh!" Asuna sputtered, her pieces trembling violently.

Then she began crying.

Arika tried hugging her. Asuna pushed her back.

* * *

><p>"Thank you," Asuna said, in a distant, cracked and dry tone, as Arika poured a cup of smoothing tea for her, both women sitting around the lunch table. She sipped the drink slowly, and then said nothing.<p>

"Well?" Arika said after a brief silence.

"How do you plan telling Negi about this?" Asuna said at last. "Do you have any idea how hurt, on top of everything else that has happened to him, will he get out of this?"

"I have told you, he is far from being as weak as you imagine him," Arika answered firmly. "He already knows. I told him myself, several days ago."

"Oh, right. That makes sense, because he's so much more mature than me, so it was just logical telling him long before telling me…" Asuna bitterly pondered. "I suppose that explains why he's been acting so weird lately…"

"It might also have to do with how what is going to happen to you is killing us from the inside," Arika replied. "That's why we must find an alternate way to settle these matters. I refuse to lose you a second time."

"Eh, what difference does it make by now?" Asuna shrugged. "We've been apart from so long, it's like we're strangers by now. Funny, huh? So long spent imagining a reunion with my mother, and when I get it, I realize it barely matters anymore…" She sniffled.

"Asuna, no. Don't ever say that again."

"Oh, don't worry. Pretty soon, I won't be ever saying anything again…" Then she realized the truly hurt expression in her mother's face, and she blushed, feeling ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry. I'm, I'm acting as if I'm the only one suffering from this, right? But it's ultimately for everyone's best, it's not worth risking everything over me, and the less contact we have, the less it'll hurt you later…"

"Even if it came to pass, I would prefer being in hurt than to never having your love," Arika told her, grabbing her hands. "All of your love. Asuna, I have come clean to you, but only partially so. I need you to know, before we decide on anything else, the kind of person I am, and the kind of person your brother is growing into. After you learn that, it will be up to you deciding if you still want to accept us or not… but no matter the outcome, I will never stop struggling for you, and I won't accept your surrender for your right to exist. Much like I won't deny you your right to know, even if it harms the ties between us before they can be established."

"Huh?" Asuna asked. "You mean there's _even more_ to this?!"

Arika explained the rest.

* * *

><p>What happened after that would always be rather fuzzy to Asuna.<p>

She remembered being angry at Arika, yes, she remembered that much. She remembered yelling at her, calling her a lot of really nasty names (granted, ones most people would likely have agreed with), and then... she had punched her, perhaps? In the face? Arika would never talk about that, not even when asked by Asuna herself, but Asuna thought she had done that.

Then, on that she was sure, she had stormed out into the furious rain falling outside, which probably sounded funnier as a lame pun than it had any right to be. Arika had raced after her, but Asuna was much better of an athlete, and had left her behind rather soon, dropping her Pactio card on her way out so that little pesky perverted Negi would not find or teleport her against her will. It wasn't only Chisame who could think of that kind of basic strategies, after all. And so, Arika was left with nothing but a card to hold against her chest, and if she cried then, no one ever knew. Probably not even herself, as her face was constantly hit by the tears of the skies themselves, hammering down on her.

Asuna, being Asuna, could no more remember the term pathetic fallacy than she could find square roots without a calculator. But she felt the rain was very appropriate, somehow. Eventually, she decided she'd run far enough, and came to a halt, leaning against a convenient tree. This, she decided, would be a good place to live from now on.

"Asuna-kun?" said a voice that definitely was not Arika's from behind her.

"Gyah!" Asuna replied, attempting to climb up into her new home.

Abruptly, however, she realized the identity of the person speaking to her. Takamichi T. Takahata was standing just a few feet away from her, staring at her with a startled and concerned expression under his umbrella.

She also realized her sprint had taken her, in a nebulous measure of time that probably was too short for such a distance for average people, to the area where the Mahora teachers lived. And that, specifically, Takahata-sensei's house was just around the corner. "Ta-Ta-Takahata-sensei," she mechanically said, feeling so embarassed, so stupid, so small and useless. "I, I, I'd have thought you'd be in, in-"

"I just returned from an assignment, Asuna-kun," the man said, walking closer to shield her under the umbrella, handing it over to her and taking his jacket off and placing it on her soaked frame. "What are you doing here? You might caught your death of a cold!"

"Stupid people don't catch colds," Asuna said wearily. Then sneezed, ruining the moment a bit.

Growing more worried by the moment, he began guiding her towards his house, and she did not resist. "Asuna-kun, what's wrong? This isn't like you..."

"Of course it's not like me," she lowered her gaze. "I'm not like me, because I'm not the real me. Good thing it'll end up soon, anyway."

"Oh, Asuna-kun," he said, taking him up the front steps, pausing only to look for his keys in his pockets. "It's... It's about _that_, isn't it. I... I'm sorry. I should have been there for you before, helping you through it, and-"

"No, it's okay," she sniffled, walking in when he gestured for her to do so. "It's about more than _that_. I'd started coping with _that_, but, now... Anyway, it's not really the kind of thing anyone can help with, not even you..."

He helped her sit down. "Where's Negi-kun?"

"Who knows. Teaching, I guess," she coldly said, looking aside.

"Had another fight with him?" he guessed, offering her a dry towel.

She stopped for a moment, trying to feel his smell on the towel, but sadly it only smelled of fresh detergent. She began toweling her hair dry. "No. Not yet."

He sat before her, hands on his knees. He knew she and Negi had grown a lot closer since they fell into Mundus Magicus, and for a while she had to act as his surrogate Chisame figure. He knew she had dropped all her remaining pretenses of hating Negi just because he was a child. So why this relapse? What had just happened between them?

"Want to talk it with me?" he softly asked.

After a moment of silence, she almost whispered. "Yes." And then, in a higher tone, she looked into the eyes behind his glasses. "You knew, didn't you? About my mother. Arika-sam-_That woman_," she corrected herself, unable to speak about her with anything but venom now.

Takahata blinked, swallowed a knot, and then reached over to get himself a cigarette. "She has told you."

"Yes. Yes, she did. Did you know?"

Takahata closed his eyes. "I did."

"Hmmm," she said. And then, "That's... okay. I'm actually glad you kept it to yourself. It had to be for my own good."

"Asuna-kun, I know it's difficult, and right now, you are at a worse situation than any of us, but please, don't do this to yourself, or them..."

"Hold me," she begged, with a cracked voice, closing her eyes. "Please, I beg you, don't say anything. Just hold me. That's, that's all I want."

So her guardian knight did as commanded, and closed the gap between them to hold her in his arms.

Slowly, she fell asleep in his warmth, her face all but buried into his chest.

It felt really nice.

* * *

><p>"... it was Takamichi," Negi announced, sounding somewhat more relieved now. He, Chisame, Arika and Ayaka, the last of whom was certainly not worried at all and not about to run out into the rainstorm looking for any crass apes, were in Asuna and Konoka's living quarters with Konoka herself. Konoka had opted for not telling Setsuna anything yet, lest she'd fall into another panicky rant over failing to realize ASUNA-HIME-SAMAAAAA'S distress and turmoil.<p>

"W-Well, what did he say?" stammered Ayaka, stopping before reaching the door and lowering her already open umbrella. "Has he seen her? Is she okay?"

Negi nodded. "Yeah. Just a bit... shaken, that's all. She fell asleep, and in my opinion, we'd better leave her there until she wakes up and calms down a bit."

Ayaka sighed. "W-Well! As expected, nothing can really stop Asuna-san. She's made of... extremely sturdy material!" she finished after looking for a term that wouldn't offend Arika-sama.

"That's one way to put it, I suppose," Chisame sort-of-agreed.

"I don't get it," Konoka said, sitting back with her hands on her own lap. "What could have happened to Asuna-chan, to send her running out like that? It doesn't make sense, unless being in Sextum-chan's Cosmo Entelecheia device did hurt her more than she let on. And in that case..." she ominously cracked her knuckles together.

"I'm sure that wasn't Sextum-san's fault!" Negi rushed to say.

"Ah, no? Then who-"

"Me," Arika replied to Konoka's question.

And Konoka looked at her. "You, Arika-sama? What did you do?"

Chisame tensed up in mild alert. "Umm, Konoe. Perhaps, perhaps this isn't the best time to discuss what is whom's fault..."

"There's no need for those reservations, Chisame," Arika said. "Konoe-san is part of our family, as well, being Eishun's daughter."

"But -!" Ayaka began.

Negi sadly sighed. "She's right, girls. I think she should know. And even if we wouldn't tell her, Asuna would."

"Alright, if you're all okay with it," the Konoe heiress agreed. "Let's hear it, then!"

And Arika explained everything that did not include any mentions of any century-long sleep. Again.

"... oboy," Konoka said, with a voice as tiny as her eyes were now.

* * *

><p>Asuna woke up slowly, finding herself staring at a vaguely familiar ceiling. She only had been in Takahata-sensei's bedroom twice or thrice, when she would throw him birthday parties and she'd sneak into his room, just to see how neatly kept it was. One of those times, Yuuna tagged along and voiced her desire for her father to be as much of a neat freak. That had made Asuna proud and happy, until Yuuna innocently wondered "Do you think maybe he's gay?"<p>

It had been years since, so Asuna had forgiven Yuuna. But never forgotten.

Although that would change soon enough, right? At that point, even the bad memories were starting to look cherished, just on virtue of being memories.

Takahata-sensei sat next to the bed, smiling gently at her. "Hello, Sleeping Beauty."

She had to smile back. "Hello."

She was wearing one of his shirts over her underwear, buttoned up and being big enough on her frame as to cover long past her crotch. And even so, just knowing he must have had undressed her out of her soaked clothes was-

"Minamoto-sensei was here to undress you, set you on the bed, and check you were okay before leaving," the man explained.

That snapped Asuna out of those thoughts. "Shizuna-sensei? What, what was she doing here?"

"She lives five houses down the street, remember?" he told her. "So I gave her a call."

"Oh," Asuna said, relaxing back on the bed. Of course.

"I also called Negi-kun," Takahata told her.

Asuna made a non-commital sound.

"Did you fight with him again, or only with Arika-sama?" Takahata asked.

"Only with _that woman_. Doesn't mean I want to talk with him either."

"Asuna-kun. He already knows of your relationship as well. This is just as hard for him as it is for you. And... it will just make his course of action all the more painful. Please don't spend the next months like this..."

"It's not about that!" she snapped, sitting up on the bed. "I mean, I didn't resent him when he told me what we were gonna do, and I'm still not mad about that! I know he wouldn't ever have done it if he had any alternatives!"

"Then why are you upset at him, because of matters that were beyond his control?"

"It isn't about him being my brother either," she mumbled, hugging her knees. "I... I... W-Well, our relationship perhaps was starting going somewhere lately..." she blushed, "... but that's better suited for Chisame or Iinchou, right? It'd never have worked anyway, you know I prefer them older... But either way, I'd have kept respecting him! But now, after what he went and did, how can I respect him anymore?"

"What did he do?"

"You don't know?"

"He sounded quite distressed and awkward through the phone, but considering your... circumstances, I found it perfectly logical."

She closed her eyes and kept them that way, rocking back and forth. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," he conceded, sighing as he stood up. "You know I'll be willing to listen as soon as you're willing to talk, Asuna-kun."

She sniffled. "I do. Thank you, Takahata-sensei."

She heard him walking out the room, and then she looked through the window. It was late at night now, and it had stopped raining. Asuna got up from the bed, marched to the bathroom, used the toilet and washed her face off. After that, she made her way to the living room, where the man, bare footed and shirtless, rested on his couch, half-wrapping a blanket around his well muscled frame. What she saw of his flesh in the darkness disturbed her; while nowhere as heavily scarred as Eishun, his body also painted a complete story of all the fights he had been into.

Before she could make any sound, he turned around, eyes on her. "Yes?" he asked, as soft as his naturally thick voice would allow.

"I like older men," Asuna finally said.

The older man blinked, sitting up. "Hm, oh, yes, we have gone through that before, Asuna-kun. And while that certainly is within your rights, and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you don't act on it before a certain age, I am not sure you should be repeating this to-"

"I don't like little boys or older women, though. That's not the same thing. I don't like girls or kids, like that, at all," Asuna responded to the prodding. That time with Konoka didn't count; they'd been two scared, lonely first year junior high students in a two person dorm room for the first time. And all those times when she was fighting with Ayaka and they found themselves staring into each other's eyes and knowing that only a centimeter closer and they'd be kissing, those didn't count either.

Takamichi stared in confusion. "Did... did Saotome-san try something?" he asked.

Asuna opened her mouth to loudly answer no and sneezed loudly instead.

She rubbed her nose and sniffled. "Why it's always Paru, why it always has to be Paru? Paru is all bark and no bite, I'm sure. I know her kind. The ones who look all innocent, those are the really awful ones."

Takahata blinked. "Are you sure whatever transpired with Negi-kun was not a simple misunderstanding?"

"I'm sure! I'm sure, because _that woman_ told me herself, saving me no details!" Asuna suddenly exploded, slamming a foot down on the floor, which gained some small and slight cracks. "Of how they did it! Of how much she'd love it if I joined them!"

The cigarette Takahata had just reached for fell from his fingers before he could lit it up. "What."

_Oh, come on! Why are you acting so shocked now? Are you really telling me you didn't suspect the kind of person she was?!_

Takahata ran a hand down his face. "I'm sure you must have misunderstood her, that has to be it. I'm aware she and Nagi had their share of... adventures back before Negi's birth, but..."

_How could you, who always were so cool and smart, be so dumb and blind around her?!_

Takahata stood back up, pacing and reaching for another cigarette. "Perhaps she's still under the Lifemaker's influence, that has to be looked into, I'll call-"

_How couldn't you see it coming?! How couldn't you protect me from her!?_

"- Eishun, yes, that is, the Headmaster probably would act harshly before-"

_How couldn't you protect HIM?!_

"- he and Arika-sama don't seem to see on things eye on eye, especially when it comes to your-"

_... all things considered, despite your best efforts, you ultimately couldn't protect us at all, could you?_

He turned to look back at the eerily silent Asuna. "In the meanwhile, Asuna-kun, perhaps you should stay over at the Kyoto Association's Headquarters with Konoka-kun and Setsuna-kun, I'm sure Eishun won't-"

Stampeding more than walking, the next thing both of them knew was she was closing the distance between them, pressing herself close to his chest, and kissing him soundly.

"Asuna-kun!" he said a moment later, when she allowed his lips to be freed. "What, what in the world are you -"

"Establishing some freaking normality," Asuna explained, and pulled the much bigger and stronger man down to the floor with her, once again taking advantage of his shock and unwillingness to fight her. Setsuna-san had taught her well, and part of her training had included surprise tactics to use on much bigger and stronger adversaries. Then she rolled so that she was straddling his knees. With her left hand, she pressed roughly down on his upper abdomen, stopping him from rising, while her right hand went down to his zipper. He wasn't wearing a belt anymore, thankfully. She wasn't sure how she'd go about undoing one with one hand.

Although most likely she'd have found a way regardless.

That was how Ala Alba rolled, right?

"Asuna-kun," gasped Takahata. "Please, listen to me-"

"Okay," Asuna replied, a moment later. She swallowed the string of knots in her throat, waited for it, and when no answer came, she requested, "So talk."

"Let's calm down and make things clear. Let's make sure you didn't misinterpret anything and are acting on false assumptions. You've just basically told me, in so many words, that your mother was having sex with Negi. Right?" the teacher asked, his face eerily tense.

"Yes," she said, unable to lie to him.

At the new confirmation, icy cold panic snak definitely into him. Obviously, Arika-hime had been driven insane by her ordeals, pulling her own children with her in a doomed web of depravity. Again, he had failed to notice the signs, to save his favorite student and the son of the man he admired. Again, he fell short, a failure on all levels.

But hopefully, he at least could save Asuna from the madness. There was still time. He wouldn't confront her on it as long as there was a need for a full joint effort to save Mundus Magicus, but right after, he'd try his desperate final best to finally be half-worthy of Asuna's... her what, exactly? Love? Respect? No, he never would be worthy of either. Then why, what did he pretend, with this... this...

_All right_, Asuna thought then, still shaking violently, _let's see how far he's willing to go_. Aloud, she asked, "How badly do you want this?"

Takamichi blinked. "Uh, I -"

Not waiting his reply, she reached out and ran her hand down the front of his crotch, finding the hardness there. "Looks like you want it pretty badly," she said, as she rubbed the bulge for a moment, then moved her hand up to the elastic of his boxers.

This time it was him who couldn't lie, no matter how much he wanted it.

"Well, yes, I might, but, well, not only that's wrong in the first place, but even if it were, I wouldn't be sure about doing it here, or now, not when you are so confused, and so -"

"Then when?" she asked. "When a woman who won't be me wakes up in a world not our own? At that point, only Eva, Chacha and Negi will be there. Maybe Mana or Zazie. I don't know. What, are you saving that girl's virginity for Negi? What a laugh," she bitterly said. "Or maybe you're just scared that you wouldn't measure up to him," she said, and then reached up to kiss him, hard. Asuna pulled back from the kiss, a trail of saliva briefly linking their mouths until she pulled him out of the boxers, then went down to take him in her mouth.

She paused briefly, in mild panic, when she got a good look at what she had in her hand. It was significantly bigger than the only one she'd ever seen before this, namely Negi's, back when she took over Chisame's bathing duties in the Magical World. It was big enough to make her reconsider this whole idea. But she couldn't back down now, and so she quickly bent forward and sucked him towards the back of her throat. It tasted pretty much like she expected it to taste, but she pushed past that to start licking the sides like Misa had said boys liked in the private, 'what all this really means' classes she'd thrown after they'd started giving sex ed. She considered going up to provide some attention to the top of it, but since that was where the pee came out, she decided not to go there.

Takamichi groaned as his hands reached down to take her head in his hands as she bobbed back and forth. They bumped up against the bells in her hair, the bells he'd bought for her when she was only a child. Despite the obvious associations, he didn't pull away from them.

_Okay, let's push on that,_ Asuna thought as she pulled back to look up at him, jerking him with her hand. "Remember braiding those into my hair all those times? Were you having dirty thoughts about me when you did that? Were you?"

"Yes," he answered hoarsely. "Every second of every day we spent together."

"Perv," Asuna sneered. "Lolicon. Good thing I'm a sick bitch like my Mom, too, or you'd be in real trouble, saying things like that to me."

"Don't, don't say such things about yourself -" Takamichi started to say.

"Or what?" she snapped, tightening her grip on him enough to make him gasp. "Okay," she continued after a moment, pushing herself against him. "Now I want you to stick this big, hard cock into my moist, juicy cunt, and if you stop even once, no matter how much I cry, I'll know that you're nothing but a wuss. Got it?"

"Got it," he said, briefly wondering where has he learned such a language (in truth, it was the result of a combination of Paru's doujin and overheard comments picked up while traveling through the Mundus Magicus underworld), then grabbed her hips and mounted her on his crotch as he leaned back against the floor. She felt herself being opened up further than she had ever been while doing splits or any other kind of exercise, and bit back a scream as she settled down on him. But he didn't stop, and then the pain was eclipsed by the rush of satisfaction as his length caressed her walls.

"Oh, yeah," she said, rocking up and down, back and forth on his hips. "Yeah, you like this. How many young girls have you fucked before me, you sick fuck? How many? Several, haven't you? Huh? And to think, even so, you had the balls to reject me at the Festival! You're the worst one of us. And to think I admired you -"

"That, that is right." He closed his eyes and cried. He hadn't done so for so long, not since his master died. "You're right, I'm the worst, I don't deserve to tell you -"

"And yet," she sighed, "I still admire you," she added softly. "I'm a real Baka..."

"I, I don't deserve that-" And with that, he pushed once more and spewed up into her.

_Shit_, she thought. "Fine," she said, sounding exhausted and distant. "Now get down there and lick up what you just dirtied."

He did.

* * *

><p><em>So let's review<em>, thought Kagarazuka Asuna as she wearily slumped through the dormitory's halls, very early the next morning. N_egi's mother is also my mother. She had me after her own father raped her when she was twelve. Despite this, she doesn't hate me, she loves me. She loves me so much that she wants to have sex with me and Negi, as well as watching the two of us have sex with each other, and has actually been and probably is right now training Negi to be able to satisfy us_.

_This is messed uuuuppppp_.

But despite how horrible it all was, she couldn't forget how she'd felt when she found out that Negi actually was her little brother, and the gentle look of Arika's face as the older woman had told her about seeing her born. It had been so... sweet. The emptiness inside had gone away, for a little while, even if only to return with a multiplied vengeance as soon as the implications finally sank in. But if Negi was her brother, shouldn't she be protecting him from this sort of thing? Succeeding where even Takahata-sensei had failed, if such a thing was even possible? But what if that meant never seeing her mother again?

It was not like Asuna herself could be there for him later on…

And anyway, the damage already had been done, right…?

She didn't know what to do, and the long hours of thought while quietly awake in Takahata's arms she'd devoted to the question hadn't helped. She needed advice. Looking around her, she found that her footsteps had led her to the dorm room where Ayaka and Makie lived, and she reached out to the door to knock. Maybe Ayaka would be able to -

_"You have the opportunity to have passionate sex with that wonderful boy, a brother to you like the brother I've always yearned for, and you're even thinking about passing it up? You apish fool, Kagarazuka Asuna, you lecher after the elderly! I will give myself wholly to Negi-sensei in your place then! Seize her, Makie-san!"_

- orrrrr not.

"Ah, come on, what am I supposed to do?" Asuna yelled.

A moment later, the door beside Ayaka's dorm room door slowly creaked open. Asuna flinched, realizing that her outburst had attracted attention, and turned to apologize.

"Ah, Baka Red!" Baka Yellow greeted her, as the early martial arts movie in the television inside made for accelerated background noise. "What nice surprise! Came to spar-aru? Because you got face of one looking for a -"

Asuna gestured with a strangely steady, more like stiff, hand towards the dark skinned Chinese blonde. "Ku-chan. Sorry. Could you leave me alone with Paru for a while? Please?"

* * *

><p>Haruna looked up from the laptop she was using on the breakfast table and closed it quickly, gulping as she did. "Ah... Asuna-chan? I swear, no matter what anyone might have told you, I have no pictures of you naked, and I never sold them anywhere. My sister-in-law might, but without any proof, I couldn't -"<p>

"It isn't that, Paru," Asuna said coldly. "I already dealt with that yesterday."

"Ahhhh," Haruna said. "That explains why Ranma called me asking if I knew something about Nabiki-neesan and an accident."

"She'll walk," Asuna promised, then gave Ku a look that meshed well with her recent scary-as-fuck statements. Even being an idiot uber-martial artist and Amazon warrior, Ku got the hint and was intimidated enough to nod quickly.

"I think I go to Shan Pu's for ramen," she suddenly decided. "She in good mood after... ah, accident of hated rival. Back in two hours!" she promised, slipping out the front door with a dumb giggle.

"Bring something for me!" Haruna called out.

"Dead girls have no need for ramen!" Ku reminded her before walking away very briskly.

The stacked mangaka gulped as Asuna calmly closed the door behind herself. "Look, Asuna, I have no idea why you'd be mad at me, but violence is never the answer. Just look at Chisame; I'm sure Iinchou's going to have her suspended -"

"I'm not here to hurt you, Haruna," Asuna said very tiredly, trembling as she pulled a chair and plummeted her ass on it. "I... I need your advice, actually."

"You? Looking for advice from ME?" Haruna gasped. "Hold it, are my ears playing tricks on me? Oh, it's about your art style, isn't it? I've told you, your technique is good, it's just you need more dynamism in your figures, and your females leave a lot to be desired compared to your men, although you could say the same about me ..."

"It's about Negi," Asuna sighed. "Well, about Negi and me. But mostly him."

"You're going to help Iinchou against Chisame?"

"Forget Chisame! Or rather, not. Maybe we should tell her. No way she'd stand for something like this," Asuna pondered, chewing on her lower lip. "Maybe, maybe she suspects, and that's why she reacted that way the other morning."

"You lost me, Asuna."

The other girl exhaled. "You know how, when I was kidnapped, Sextum and her cronies kept calling me a Princess, right? All evidence pointed to my being related to Arika-sam - to _that woman_, and to Negi, didn't they? I mean, even I could see that."

"You're growing more like him, yeah," the bustier girl nodded. "For one, you're becoming just as self-condemnatory."

"This is no joke. Well, yesterday, _that woman_ finally had the courage to come to my room and tell me the truth about it."

"I assume you didn't like what _that woman_ had to tell you."

"Hell no!"

"Let me guess. She made a pathetic attempt to deny any relationship between you, and that makes you feel rejected."

"No! If anything, it was the opposite! I never thought I'd say this, but I'd have preferred a rejection!"

"That bad?" Haruna arched her thick eyebrows. "Get to the point. What was it?"

"She's my mother."

The ahoge on Haruna's hair stood up on end.

"Yeah," Asuna mumbled. "That's not the worst part, however. You done a lot of incest doujin in your life, haven't you?"

"O-Of course I have! Forbidden love is the best kind! But, but what does that have to do with -"

"What's your favorite kind of incest?"

"Isn't it obvious? Boy on boy, evidently. I prefer younger men, no offense intended, so brother couples are my usual choice. But I won't shy away from anything... oh, geez, your mom found some of my doujin in your room and got mad at you?"

"Nah, Konoka keeps your stuff well hidden, and it isn't like I ever read though them." There was no lie in that sentence, since Asuna never bothered to read them. It wasn't necessary to enjoy the pretty pictures while locked in the bathroom. And she hated reading. "What do you think about parental incest? You love it too, don't you?"

"Not my cup of tea, although I can understand Konoka-chan's repressed but evident urges on the subject. If I had a dad like hers, I'd also - that's it, right? Arika-sama found out about your crush on Eishun-sama, and got angry because he's -"

"MY FATHER ALSO WAS HER FATHER!" Asuna screamed.

"..." Haruna said.

"It's horrible, isn't it? Although I'm sure you find it hot. But wait, there's more! It apparently runs in the blood, because... no, it's too ugly to even say it!"

"She and... Negi-kun... are...?" Haruna made a few quite interesting gestures with her hands.

Asuna nodded a few times, then sniffed. "I don't want to belong to that weirdo family! Also, what if my children with Takahata-sensei are deformed and stupid because of them? I'm never going to forgive them!"

Haruna took a deep breath. "Are you sure that this isn't all the result of some sort of comical misunderstanding of what she said? You're as bad at reading those things as Iinchou."

"Don't compare me to that Shotacon!" Asuna raged. "I knew it! I knew you wouldn't react with any shock, any disgust, any sane reaction! I don't know why I came over to tell you!"

"Maybe because deep inside you know I'm one of the few who will react to the news without running away howling for Arika-sama's ... sorry, _that woman's_... blood?" She put a finger on her own chin. "Then again, given my... unearned reputation as a rumor monger, maybe this is your subtle way to make sure everyone knows and Ari - _that woman_ is punished without it being tracked down to you. Sometimes you're more astute than you let on, Asuna-chan."

Asuna already was pacing back and forth the living room. "I can't believe the nerve of that woman ... no, that monster! Narrating her awful story as if it was nothing! Konoka-chan will be traumatized when she learns!"

"I bet she'll actually take it a lot better than you."

"Fine! So what if she does? It ain't **HER** family, lucky her!"

"So what did you do?"

"What else could I do? I punched _that monster_ in the face and told her to go away! She did, and I hope a truck ran her over! One loaded with Twilight fans en route to a convention!"

"Whoa, girl, slow down there."

"Then I went and, and I… told Takahata-sensei, and, and he… told me maybe I was too harsh, that she had been raped when she was a child - _that monster_, I mean, not Takahata-sensei - and that rape victims should be pitied and helped, and that those experiences often shaped them... but that's just him being soft hearted! What the heck would he know about the subject!"

"Uh-huh. You know, I think they prepare teachers nowadays to deal with that kind of issues, but what do I know…"

"—and, and after… consoling me as best as he could, he pointed me back here, told me I had to face them, but I don't feel like I can do it," Asuna seethed as she sat back down and sipped from the tea Haruna had just poured for her. "I know your answer, but what do you think?"

"I think you should call the police."

"Bweh?"

Haruna nodded. "I'm no puritan. You know that as well as anyone. You won't ever find me raging about the eeeevils of incest in fiction, and hell, not even in reality ... but only as long as both participants know what are they getting into. Hell, if my brother ever propositioned me for a horizontal tango, I'd take him on it, because he's a damn fine piece of hot ass."

"Haruna!" Asuna blushed.

"But Negi-kun is different. He's only a kid, and even if your mom was a kid when she was raped, that doesn't justify her doing the same now and perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Because that's what it is, abuse. Besides, the bitch stole Nodoka's chance to be Negi-kun's first, and now odds are she'll fall for Kotaro-kun, that little bum. Unless I can pull a save and hook her up with Yue. Come to think about it, it shouldn't be too hard... but I digress. So yeah, I'd gladly stand at your side through this."

"But... but... but monster or not, she's still my mother! I can't finally find my mother just to send her to the slammer! Also, I'd break Negi's heart!"

"So you admit he's the victim here?"

"*I* am the victim!" Asuna yelled. "Okay, and I guess him too. Damn brat's too naïve to know when he's being manipulated. It's gross, really ..."

"Cool," Haruna extended her a cellphone. "So let's call... I don't know, maybe resorting to the police right now, without any proof, is a bad move, but if Death Glasses hasn't told him yet, the Headmaster should know..."

Asuna's shaky fingers reached for the phone, but then she pulled them back. "I... I think I should talk with Negi first."

"Why?"

"Because, because, naïve or not, there's no way she could have gotten him if he hadn't let her! Negi's too strong and fast for any of us but Eva! Okay, I can understand he wouldn't hurt her, but fleeing is always an option!"

"Is it?" Haruna wondered. "Negi-kun's emotionally vulnerable and dependent as heck. Not all domination needs to be physical."

"Maybe, but just to be sure, I want to talk with him and Chisame before taking any step."

"You're afraid."

"I have damn good reasons to be! And while we sort this out, I don't want you telling anyone about it! This is a family matter!"

Haruna sighed as she held a hand to her heart. "Sworn on the honor of the Saotome family."

"Like, your brother's honor, or your father's 'honor'?"

"**MY** honor," Haruna said, sounding scarily intense. She shook her head. "You're as emotionally vulnerable as your little brother is, Asuna. You'll fall for it as easily as him. I already can see it."

"Screw that, Paru!"

"I'm serious. If you really were against that, you'd have taken on my offer. Because if you don't strike while the iron is hot, you never will. These things cannot and should not be delayed. But you're so desperate for the family you never had, you'd do anything for -"

"Like hell!" Asuna stood up and turned for the door. "Remember! Saotome Promise!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, have fun. And remember to invite me while you're doing it."

Asuna slammed the door behind herself as she stomped out.

Haruna sighed and took the final sip from her tea.

_Poor Nodo-chan_, she thought.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, even as she dashed out of Haruna's room, Asuna still had no clear idea what to do next. She didn't want to call the police, but she didn't want to go back to her room either. <em>Oh<em>, she thought bitterly, _if only there were some way to resolve all these problems easily!_

_Not looking where she was going, she ran right into a rather handsome, barefoot man walking around in pajamas, with the shirt open to expose his chest. Oddly, he didn't seem at all bothered by the impact, remaining standing when Asuna fell back on her butt. He was a little surprised, though. "Oh, hey, are you okay? Sorry, I wasn't really watching where I was going," he apologized._

_"Um, well, I'm fine, I guess, and it's really my own fault for... running... um... sorry... who are you and why are you wandering around a girls' dormitory in your pajamas?" It seemed an appropriate question._

_"I'm the god Orum," he explained politely. "This is pretty much what I always wear."_

_"You're a god," Asuna repeated._

_"Mm-hm. I'm paying a special visit to one of my worshippers on this plane of existence, Kakizaki Misa-chan. Maybe you know her? Ah, I see you do. Yeah, well, anyway, I don't go in for a lot of finery, sooo... yeah, pajamas work."_

_"I see," Asuna said. Well, why not, it couldn't hurt, could it? "Um, Orum-kamisama, I humbly crave a boon," she said, trying to be as polite as possible._

_"Well, I did knock you over, so, okay. What I can I do for you, young lady?"_

_"You see, I've got a bunch of problems, and -"_

_"Say no more," said Orum, and promptly resolved all of Asuna's problems in a way that was completely satisfying to her and everyone else._

Asuna then snapped out of her daydream. Ah, yes, that would have been nice...

She then opened her apartment's front door and walked in with a deep forlorn sigh.

* * *

><p><em>The Next Day, this happened:<em>

The Mankanshokus introduced her to her new replacement.

"This will be her first morning at the job," Barazo-san said. "I can count on you to show her how it's done, right, Asuna-kun?"

"Sure thing," Asuna said. And right then, a young short girl with very short brown hair, wearing a Mahora Male Academy Junior High uniform, walked in from the backstore.

"How ya doin', sorry to keep you waiting!" she greeted Asuna, with a clumsy imitation of a manly salute. "Name's Mankanshoku Mako-kun! I may be a loser, but I have a name! And I'm a boy!"

"There's no problem, Mako-kun. This is Asuna-kun. She'll show you the job and the route," said Barazo-san.

Asuna blinked. "Mako-chan… you are a girl. And you're the owners' daughter. And I see you everyday."

Mako seemed to deflate a bit. Literally. "Aoooo… I know that, but everyone's always telling me that job's only for boys or butches, and I don't wanna be called a butch by anyone!"

Asuna showed her the complete route by chasing her all through it, threatening her with a rolled up newspaper…

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	8. Lesson Seven

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ and _Black Cat_ were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Kitchen Sink, Too!<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreaders/co-writers Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Lesson Seven<strong>.

* * *

><p>"Well? What did you learn?" asked the red-haired teacher, impatiently. Standing at the other end of the empty lot, her 'agent' shuddered slightly with the unusually rough tone of the woman, who generally was happy-go-lucky and feisty. He tightened his dark jacket around his scrawny body, protecting himself against a burst of nocturnal wind, and ran a hand through his black hair, which was just too sparse for a boy his age.<p>

"They go to Mc Dowell-san's cabin in the Woods every day after classes, spend a couple hours there, and then head back to the dorms," informed the gangly and nearly invisible Usui Kagero, only boy in Itoshiki-sensei's 3-F classroom. The sole reason why he hadn't been transferred with his friends (that is, friends whenever they remembered his existence) Kudou, Kuniya, Aoyama (no, not one of THOSE Aoyamas, seriously) and Haga was the same reason why Sugiura had recruited him as her particular spy in the campus; it was very rarely that anyone even stopped to realize his presence, much less to think about what to do with him. That had resulted in Usui's wandering through a limbo all across his education, and in Midori's opinion, even exploiting him in trade for spare cash and some flirting was doing him a great favor. At least that meant somebody noticed his existence.

"Yeah, but what do they do inside?" the teacher pressed on, with her impatience on the rise.

"I don't know," the boy shrugged his shoulders. "The curtains are always closed and you can't hear anything from the outside. Perhaps they are studying?" he theorized.

"Maybe, in their own way," said the teacher, playing along as to not reveal more than the necessary. Even though Konoemon-sensei knew she knew about magic, her status as a new teacher restricted her access to the information she needed about the most powerful magic users in the school. At least, that was, her access through the conventional means. "Haven't you tried getting in?"

"No way! I don't dare pushing my luck that much," the youngster grew agitated. Small as she was, Evangeline infused a great deal of dread with her mere presence amidst the rest of the student body, even those who ignored the existence of magic, and that dread had increased since Eva's showing at the Mahorafest. "Why, well, why don't you ask for Asakura-san's help? That's her specialty."

"It wouldn't do me any good. She's with them, remember?"

"Are you sure you couldn't just buy her out regardless?"

"Trust me, no, I couldn't," Midori sighed. "What a shame. When it comes to gathering info, she's truly the best." There was a pause. "No offense intended!"

"Uh-huh. May I ask why are you that interested on them? And why not simply asking them out? Use your authority, Sensei! They couldn't deny you anything!"

Midori shook her head. "If I could do that, don't you think I'd have done it already?" It was frustrating, really. "Then… Negi-sensei, Mc Dowell-san, Suzushiro-san, Yukihiro-san, Karakuri-san, Kasuga-san and her little friend, Asakura-san, Inugami-kun, Hasegawa-san, Hasegawa-san's college aged sister, Saotome-san, Akashi-san, Ku Fei-san, Kagurazaka-san, Sakurazaki-san, Konoe-san, Murakami-san, Shiina-san, Kakizaki-san, and Nagase-san. Right?"

Usui nodded quickly. "There are many dangerous girls in that club! If any of them realized I'm following them…!"

"Hmmm," Midori told herself.

"Remember what these girls, Mc Dowell-san and the redhead with the bells and Konoe-san's other friend, did at the tournament? Special effects or not, that demands for a whole lot of skill and strength! I don't dare making them angry!"

"Um, yeah, that's a very wise decision," agreed the young woman who was not quite young enough to pass for someone seventeen years old. "Well, thanks for your info, Kagero-kun. Tell you what, I think we need a different approach to this subject. Those girls who are interested on Inugami-kun, Kobushi-san and Fujiyoshi-san, they're classmates of yours, aren't they?"

"Ah-hah…"

"Well then, I want you to start patrolling them. Keep me informed of their moves, any suspicious activity… I mean suspicious even for you classroom's standards… You know, the usual."

"And what about-?"

"There, there, I'll take care of that from here on," she began counting his weekly fee. Once again, she was coming a bit short that week, so once again, she briefly pondered paying him by deflowering him, but she ended up deciding against it once more. Even she had her limits. She'd finish the moth on another loan from Yohko-chan. "Buy yourself something nice. I don't know, whatever you kids nowadays like. I mean, I'm also seventeen, but I'm afraid I'm a bit disconnected from my peers, with teaching and all of that…"

"Uh-huh. Sure thing."

Now Midori decided, in silence, she NEVER would deflower him.

* * *

><p>"Did it go well?" asked Mami as Midori rejoined her and Mai, at a long and prudent distance from the vacant lot, under the combined protective shade of two huge trees.<p>

Midori shrugged. "It could have gone better, and I didn't really learn anything I didn't know already, but eh, yeah, I confirmed my suspicions, so that's good."

"I don't get it," Mai said. "Will you finally tell me what were you doing there, with that guy?"

"Gathering intelligence," Midori smirked, summoning her labrys back and swinging it over her shoulder as she began heading for the woods. "Okay, kids! Since we're already on the road, let's go to do some border patrolling! The night's still young, and tomorrow isn't a school day!"

Mai sighed. "Okay, just please don't start singing-"

_"I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake! Awake, alert, alive! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!"_

"You do that just to mess with me, don't you?!" Mai snapped.

After eleven more minutes of wandering more deeply into the woods and trying Mai's patience, fortunately, for a lack of a better term, Midori and Mami tensed up, tilting their heads aside, and sniffing the air. "Do you smell that?" asked Midori.

"Smelling what?" Mai asked back.

"Don't you hear that?" Mami asked in turn.

"Hearing what?!" Mai asked back.

Midori shook her head in slight dismay. "So the rumors are true and you have a just awful sense of hearing..."

"Who says that?! And what kind of rumor is that?! And why were you there to hear them?!" Mai demanded.

"Of course we'd keep ourselves well informed about our newest recruit and friend," Midori matter of factly explained before pointing southward, towards a tiny fiery light in the distance. "The College Hospital. Sirens and smoke. You know the way, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Takumi spent several weeks there," Mai said, climbing on a large boulder in an easy fashion she never could have achieved while untransformed, and then peering into the horizon line, towards the university area. "Yes, I think I see fire and at least two fire trucks. Do you think we should-?"

Mami and Midori already were running in that direction. Mumbling a curse, Mai jumped after them, quickly catching up to them.

"I thought those things always prowled around the forests first!" yelled Tokiha.

"Normally, yeah!" Sugiura protested. "It's not my fault if this time things didn't go as smoothly as usual!"

"Oh well. Maybe it's something else," Mai tried telling herself, also noticing the three were now running rather faster than the average human being ever could. It only took them a few minutes to reach the Hospital without feeling tired in the slightest. As it was to be expected, the firemen and police already had cordoned the zone, which, in combination with the thick smoke coming out the building, made Mai tighten her red scarf around the lower half of her face. Not minding any of that in the slightest, Midori quickly approached a tall, robust mature man in a black suit and tie coordinating the policemen who evacuated the building. She showed her a badge with the official seal of Mahora, although apparently they already knew each other, given the familiar tone she used to address him. "Hey, Chiek Kosaka! What's the situation?"

The man made a grimace of deep discomfort before answering, barely audible over the sirens and the screams of terror, "Looks like it's one of those... things going crazy inside. Suddenly, the windows began exploding and the curtains went up in flames. The Headmaster says his memory-erasers are on their way. But what's this? Damn, Sugiura-kun, are you dragging another child into this? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Midori passed by walking before him, inviting the other two girls to follow her with a gesture. "You just look aside again, Chief. Mai-chan, you know where's the Intensive Care wing, don't you? Go there with Mami-chan and make sure there's no one comatose or something left there. The Orphan seems to be that other way, so I'll go engage it. Join me after making sure there are no more patients left."

"D-Don't use my real name, which isn't my real name, in public!" Mai cried as she passed quickly before the strict looking big man, covering even more of her face with her scarf.

Once the three of them disappeared inside, Academy City Police Chief Kosaka Daisuke sighed deeply to himself, and despite being a perceptive, sharp man, somehow this time he missed realizing yet another girl, a smaller, thinner one with wild black hair made into twin braids, and holding a gigantic black sword, had sneaked out of the shadows and right behind him.

"Are you my Ani-ue?" the girl asked, with a lot of obvious curiosity.

"Ah!-!" the man spun around, drawing his handgun out from instinct before lowering it. "What are you doing here, kid? This place is dangerous! If you need help, go ask the agents behind the police line!"

Mikoto tossed her hands up. "Never mind. You're too old," she said before outright leaping far above him and crash in through the building's main entrance. "MAAAAIIIIIIIIII! Mai, Mai, why did you go in theeeereeeeeee!"

The man ran a hand down his face. "Those freaks are going to ruin this country," he predicted.

* * *

><p>"The Intensive Care Wing is over there," Mai pointed towards a wide side corridor after a few moments of running together through the hospital, coughing with reddened eyes. "But, are you sure about it? Those people are the first ones they'd have evacuated. We should've stopped to ask the cop—"<p>

"There's no time to waste when there are lives in stake!" barked Midori, pointing for the corridor. "Just go already!"

"What about _our_ lives?" demanded Mai.

"Escape through a window at any moment you feel you are in danger!" commanded Midori. "Dammit, Mai-chan, you're supposed to control fire! It's not like you could die burned!" she added, before taking off running towards the direction from where the most noise came, punctuated by a series of thundering bestial roars. Mami shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of apology for Mai before placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Just trust her," the drill-haired blonde gently asked. "I know it might be hard to believe at first glance, but she really knows what she's doing…"

"But… I've barely started learning how to control anything…" Mai trailed off in a weak tone.

Mami looked at her with concern. "Do you want to go out already, Mai-san? If you want to, we'll understand."

"I…" Mai doubted for a moment before sighing. "No. Since we're already here… If this had happened while Takumi was here, I'd have never forgiven anyone who might have helped and yet didn't."

And she raced at an even faster pace towards that wing. Absolutely nothing would stop her now, not even…

She abruptly stopped when she stumbled into another girl in his path, face to face.

"Hey! Look where you're going, you damn nut!" yelled the girl with short red hair before shaking Mai off and keeping running, disoriented, amidst the smoke. "Mom! Mom! Mom…!" she cried desperately.

Mai blinked a few times, straining her eyes through the smoke. "Hey, you're one of Mikoto's classmates, aren't you?"

The crazed girl stopped only for an instant. "You know Minagi?"

"She's my… roommate. You're that girl who lost her mom, aren't you? The one who lives with her cousins…" Mai reminisced.

"What the hell, how do you, or her for that matter, know about—Oooohhh, you're that 'Mai' she's always babbling about, right? Out of my way, I've gotta—"

"You wouldn't find her that way. You were going the opposite way," Mami helpfully pointed the right way back, through the thick curtains of smoke.

"How can you be so sure… _Oooohhhh!_" the girl hissed, but ended up just running in that direction, with Mai and Mami hot on her heels.

"What the hell are you doing here, so late?!" yelled Mai as she ran. "We're long past visit hours!"

"Bitch, I sneak in to see my mother whenever I damn want to!" the redhead growled. _Sure, it may take a few favors to some damn dirty doctors, but…_

"Well, leave it to us and head for safety!" cried Tomoe, as the three of them ran up a flight of stairs.

"Oh, and who are you supposed to be, Sailor V and her sidekick Boobs Girl?"

"Boobs... Girl?" Mai muttered. "Hey, she's bustier than me, if we're taking the size and height ratio in mind!" she added, pointing at Mami.

"GRNF!" sputtered the redhead, as she reached a door she'd have recognized even in the middle of the thickest smoke, and she opened it with a kick.

"You know," Mai began, "in a fire, that's one of the last things you ever should—"

"Shut up, you idiot!" yelled the redhead, rushing next to one of the two only beds in the room, on which rested, attached to an intravenous feed, a withered and pale woman, with dry and cadaverous skin. Mikoto's classmate whimpered as she touched one of her hands softly, and then she turned to Mai and Mami with tears-filled eyes. "Help her, please!"

"Oh, so now you know the word _please_," Mai sighed, but wasted no time on helping the sick woman out of bed, as carefully as she could under the circumstances, holding her and her catheter between her and the redhead. At the same time, Mami took good care of the thin pale girl with long black hair in the next bed.

"Thank you. I guess I owe you one," muttered the redhead, lowering her gaze.

"Tokiha Mai," replied the older girl.

"Ah?"

"That's her name. Not just 'Mai'," Mami patiently explained, leading the way out as she carried the catatonic girl bridal style.

"Oh. I'm Yuuki Nao. It's a pleasure. I guess. Now what was that scream like a wounded harpy's?"

"I think… that's Sugiura-sensei…" Mai swallowed hard.

"Who?"

* * *

><p>"Mai-san," Mami said after a moment of stillness, "keep helping Yuuki-san with her mother until you get to the exit. Be careful, please."<p>

"Hey, wait there, little prissy bitch!" yelled Nao as Mami handed the light unconscious pale girl over to Mai, who regardless was surprised to see how easy it was to lift her all by herself, in her arms. "Where do you think you're going? It'll be much harder for us getting there by ourselves!"

But that weird blond girl already had zoomed down the hallway, while pulling out a pair of muskets, disappearing in the direction from whence all the shouts and shrieks came.

"Damn you… witch!" shrilled Nao, who would have shaken a fist and made several hand gestures of dubious taste if only she had not been too busy holding her mother all by herself. "Alright, Tokiha! Don't fail us now too, okay?"

Mai yanked her gaze away from the direction Mami had taken and nodded stiffly. "Okay."

"Right, thank you then," Nao said. "Now, where…"

"MAAAIIIIIIIIII!" something then jumped out of the smoke, leaping onto Tokiha and tackling her and her charge to the floor, nestling its head between Tokiha's breasts. "Mai, Mai, Mai, here you are, I had been looking for you, you were taking long, and Takumi was worried, and I tracked you all the way here…!"

"Mi-Mikoto-chan, please!" Mai worked back to her feet, making sure the pale girl was still mostly okay as well as she could. "You could have hurt this girl I'm saving!"

Minagi Mikoto blinked twice. "Mai? You're working as a fireman now?"

Mai sighed. "Of course not! This is my job as a… ahhh… unpaid public servant!"

"Seriously?" Nao snorted.

"Unpaid?" Mikoto frowned. "Mai, even I know that's just stupid."

"Minagi?" asked Nao, blinking as well. "What the hell, you too? You always were a weirdo, true, but—"

Mikoto turned her head back towards her, squinted her eyes for better focus through the smoke, and half-coughed, "Nao?"

"Mikoto-chan," Mai hurried to say then, unsure of how exactly Mikoto had followed her there, but quite glad she had, "you are a very strong girl, aren't you?"

Mikoto looked at her again, slowly bringing Miroku up and down using a single hand for show. Mai was very kind and nice, but she wasn't very smart. "You know I am, Mai."

"Great, then please be careful on taking this girl, along Yuuki-san here and her mom, to the exit, will you? I have… urgent things to do elsewhere!"

"Bwah?" Mikoto said.

"Hey, wait a second there, goddamn bitch! You too?!" Nao cried. "Why do you sluts keep dropping me with each other, my mother needs—!"

But, much like Blondie had just done minutes ago, now Tokiha had… flown down the hallway as rings of fire appeared around her wrists and ankles, and in a couple of seconds she had vanished as well.

"Why you, damn you all!" Nao stomped a foot down. "I hope whatever's up there kills you!"

Mikoto shot her a hostile glare. "Insult Mai again and I'll leave you here."

Nao made a grimace of sour fury, but she didn't dare fighting back. "Just take us the way you came in through, okay?"

"I'm doing it only because Mai wants it so," Mikoto made clear, heading back on her own previous steps. "Don't stray away."

Nao nodded, walking briskly after the smaller girl. "Aren't you afraid of leaving your friend back there on her own?" she asked, right before realizing that probably wasn't the smartest thing to ask while she still relied on the tiny weirdo.

"I trust Mai to look after herself," Mikoto had to admit begrudgingly. "Mai is stronger than she lets on. Though I didn't know she could fly with those fire thingies…"

Nao exhaled a sigh. "Figures." She was sure nothing could surprise her anymore after that night.

* * *

><p>Once again, the Orphan was a difficult to describe being. 'Hideous' would have been a given word in any attempt to paint it with words, but the specifics would have been far more complicated. The closest to reality Mai could have described it later would have been 'an elongated, furry brown dusty bunny with ram horns, a snake's tail, and eight black spider legs'. It had been totalling the X-Ray room, although the trail of destruction left behind by it seemed to indicate it had been roughly pushed and slash corralled into it.<p>

It also had been slamming Midori against the walls, and now was pinning her against a corner, readying a claw to slash at her, when a precise shot from the newly arrived Mami blew that leg off, making it stumble back with a horrible noise, halfway between roar and high pitched shriek.

"Mami-chan!" a relieved Midori sighed, jumping back to her feet, forcing herself to ignore the pain.

The monster turned its face back towards the newcomer, and it was then when Mai, who was just arriving herself shortly behind Mami, took the chance to shoot a fire blast against the spawn's deformed face, which sent it flying across the room, crashing into a wall. Momentarily stuck in there, the Orphan shook its legs in an attempt to free itself, but its position meant all legs only flailed around in the air, with no grab or momentum to propel itself.

"Ah! And Mai-chan, too!" Midori gasped, supporting herself on her labrys. "Didn't you find any survivors?"

"We did. Mikoto's taking them to the exit," Mai said, lowering herself to ground level.

"Mikoto?" Midori weakly echoed. "Did you bring her here?"

"No!" Mai protested. "She came here on her own, following us from a distance, I think... Look, can we discuss that after that thing's dead?"

"Now you're talking my language, girl," the veteran Magical Girl... sorry, woman... retook a fighting stand, smiling. "Mami-chan, at my side! Mai-chan, provide helping fire, but only when and where we tell you to!" she commanded, charging ahead as the thing finally freed itself. She ducked under a slash of one of those sharp claws and retaliated with a direct stab to one of the sides of the creature, which made green blood splatter from the fresh wound in all directions. The Orphan opened what looked like its mouth to scream again, and then Mami took aim and shot up into it, making the monster shake as the bullets flew out the back of its head. That still didn't kill it, however, as the Orphan lunged further ahead, trying to crush Midori under its weight. The redhead managed to pull back just in time, and brought the labrys' edge on the being's neck as Mami kept shooting with both guns in her hands at its head. But despite its wounds, the Orphan still wouldn't die, slamming its tail from side to side, bashing the walls with it, and leaving massive damage on them.

Mai's jaw, even after all she had witnessed and done lately, grew slightly looser.

* * *

><p>Once again, Mai wasn't too sure of what she should be doing right then. Surely blasting with fire would have been an even riskier bet in close quarters within the walls of a hospital, and once more, Midori and Mami seemed to have it relatively under control. Like most honed units do after reaching a certain level of synchronization, they more or less followed a basic pattern similar to that of the last time; she moved very quickly around the Orphan, taking turns on attacking it from all sides, never giving it a chance to recover before striking again from a just open angle. However, this time Midori was hurt, and Mami had to carry most of the weight of the battle. She jumped and twirled with a skill belittling her domestic appearance, soft spoken behavior, and large, balance altering bust, alternating between shooting at the Orphan and tangling its writhing legs with long ends of ribbon she just seemed to pull out of thin air with turns and twists of her wrists. In contrast, Midori moved rather stiffly, limping just a little and mostly offering support offensive.<p>

Mai tried to concentrate, decided on doing her best now she had been dragged all the way into that. She brought her hands together, trying to think of a flame-based melee weapon to use, but whether because of nervousness or just plain absence of aptitude for it, she could not do so. "Oh, come on...!" she groaned, hating, as always, feeling so utterly helpless. Then she realized the fire extinguisher still next to the bay's door, pulled it towards herself, and, with a single hand, swung it at the Orphan's head. "how do you like that, ugly?!" she said what she supposed one had to say in Hollywood-esque situations like that one.

Then the Orphan, inconvenienced by the impact at its most, batted Mami and Midori aside, looked- or that was the impression it gave, at least- at Mai, and roared as it lunged for her.

"MAI-CHAN, NO!" Midori yelled, trying to reach for her.

"- okay, never do that again!" she told herself, leaping back with the help of her rings of fire, which gave her added maneuverability and held her a few steps above the floor, avoiding the jaws by centimeters: so much she could feel its acrid breathing on her chest.

Midori brought the labrys down on the monster's tail, chopping a sizable portion of it, but even that did little to slow the maddened Orphan. It loomed threateningly over Mai, who barely could keep it at bay by tossing small balls of fire on its grotesque attempt of a facial structure. With half of its face burnt and missing, the Orphan chomped the air twice, before descending for-

"MAIIIIIIII!" Mikoto then jumped out the inferno raging behind Mai, her black sword swinging from above as she landed right between Mai and the Orphan, whose head she had just neatly sliced by half. Then, she turned her head around to smile at- "Mai, Mai, I did as you asked, I took Nao and those two to the door, aren't you proud now!"

"I, I, I am, but...!" Mai violently pulled her towards herself, barely avoiding being cut by Miroku herself, as the dying Orphan plummeted right where Mikoto had stood just a second ago, "Be careful!"

Mikoto blushed and purred, rubbing her scalp up against Tokiha's chin. "Awwww...! Mai does care a lot after all...!"

The other two Magical Girls (or Magical Girl and Woman) stared in disbelief as Mikoto hugged Mai's midsection very tightly and the monster slowly dissipated into rising greenish sparkles. "Wow," Midori said, supporting herself in the muted Mami, "she's really good! Hey, Minagi-chan...!"

Mikoto gave her an annoyed back glare. "What do you want?"

"You realize you've just killed a murderous giant monster, do you?"

"Yes, I do. What's so special about it? I do it all the time...!"

"ALL THE TIME?!" Mai screamed.

Mikoto lowered her gaze, like a child caught with the proverbial hand in the cookie jar. "Well... not so much after Mikoto moved in here with Mai..."

"Minagi-chan..." Midiori repeated.

Mikoto sounded even more annoyed this time around. "Now what?"

"I know it's just crazy asking, but haven't you ever realized one of the starts in the sky is red as of late?"

"You mean the Red Mars? Of course I do, that's what Himes do, and Ani-ue worked hard to prepare Mikoto as a Hime. I had forgotten it for a while, but the other day, after seeing it again, it came back to me. What kind of Hime would I be if-" while Mai and Mami gagged in their saliva and Midori hummed, rubbing her own jawline, Mikoto suspected, "Wait, do you see the Red Mars too? That means you are a Hime too?"

"I can't believe you never told me!" Mai despaired.

"Just like you told her?" Mami quiet and politely wondered aloud.

"Quiet, you," Mai mumbled.

Mikoto blinked. "Why should I tell Mai? Those are matters of Himes, and Mai is no... Mai is a Hime too?" she finished the sentence with only the slightest tonal sign of a paradigm chance mid-sentence.

Mai coughed, taking a fist to her own mouth. "You know what, let's leave that for later! Exit now, inane headache-inducing chat and Info Dump later!"

They ended up having to jump out through a window since the main door was now blocked by fire, and they couldn't reach any of the others, even assuming they still stood, in time. It looked rather badass, actually, but sadly or not, there was no one in site taking pictures, except for a certain pineapple-hairstyled redhead hiding between some bushes...

* * *

><p>Getting the story was all that mattered for Asakura Kazumi. Or at least, it used to be that way, and she still chose to keep telling herself that after her involvement with Negi Springfield. In any case, and even though, actually, it was not ALL that mattered anymore, it remained a huge part of what mattered for her. All of the messes she had gotten herself wrapped into through the last few months had given her a new perspective on how difficult were things for others, but they also had taught her a lot on the realities of the world she lived in.<p>

"Pineapple-chan? It's me," the female voice had told her from the other end of her illegal connection line with the police, just as soon as Asakura had dragged herself out of bed. "Listen, tonight's my night shift, and you're in luck. Looks like there's a report on one of those things that interest you..."

God bless Officer Kinezono. Always willing to do anything for some money, even if it came from a schoolgirl.

Before departing, Chao had left her one of her untraceable scooters, as part of her payment for her services through Mahorafest. Now, piloting the silent speedster, the redhead zoomed through the sleeping Mahora, eluding even the keen eyes of the Dorm Mother. And soon, she made it to the College Area Hospital. Chief Kosaka himself was there, so it had to be something big and juicy. He was scolding, with fierce barks, away from his men, Sugiura-sensei, that weird cat-acting little girl Kotaro chased around sometimes, one of the waitresses from the Radish, and Tomoe-sensei's niece. It was too much of a diverse and uneven group for them to be together through any kind of normal ties.

Keeping herself at a careful distance from the police lines, mostly since the Headmaster's agents already were pouring in, Kazumi barely noticed the small red-haired girl going up into an ambulance with a comatose woman, after several pleads and tears and finally burning and crass threats to the paramedics. Right now, she was much more interested about the strange mixed group Chief Kosaka was letting go begrudgingly before the mages could get close enough as to ask questions. From what Asakura had learned recently, the Chief hated his condition of secret keeper, and especially the fact he knew the only reason why he had been granted that condition was because mages had realized it was better keeping him that way than bothering to erase his memory every time an incident came to be.

"Well, that could have gone better," Midori admitted as she marched at the head of the group, labrys slung over a shoulder.

"You should tuck that thing in already," Mai scolded her as she walked next to Mikoto, examining the slight bruises, scratches and burnt marks all over her roommate-lover-adopted daughter-pet. "You almost got us arrested!"

"Eh, the Chief would never arrest us," Midori grumbled. "He'd need to give too many explanations, and that's the last thing he wants. And next time something like this happened, he wouldn't have us to do his job for him."

"Technically, fighting Orphans is NOT his job," Mami said in a low voice, before tensing up and stopping as they passed through a narrow corridor of trees, pulling a musket out and aiming it towards a bush. "Oh, Miss," she sighed, sounding more annoyed than anything else. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"W-Who are you talking to?" asked Mai, before seeing a red-haired young woman with a spiky-pointed hairstyle emerging from the bush, her choice in hair arrangements giving her a vaguely pineapple-like appearance. "Don't tell me she's another-"

"Tomoe-san," Asakura smiled. "Does your uncle know you're walking outside this late at night carrying firearms around?"

Midori cocked a fist on her own hip and huffed. "Do your parents know you were in a parallel world on Mars helping fighting an evil magical organization?"

"Ouch," Asakura said, never stopping smiling. "That hurt."

"There's more from where that one came," said Midori. "Do you think you're the only one who tries keeping herself up to date, Darling?"

"Wait, wait, what-" Mai babbled.

Asakura looked at her and Mikoto. "Two new ones? My, you're in a demographic boom of late."

Midori nodded. "Once again, same thing could be said from you guys. It's Mai's second night, and Mikoto-chan's first."

"First? I've done this several times before!" Mikoto protested, walking around Kazumi's legs and sniffing on them with an air of suspicions.

"First night with us, I mean," Midori corrected. "You know, Reporter-chan, this might just be a fortunate encounter. As you can see, this kind of mess is becoming too frequent and big for us to handle it ourselves-"

"Seriously?" asked Kazumi, giving the air of knowing more than she actually knew about them, instead of sounding as sincere as her question really was. Until that point, she only had suspects about Tomoe being aware of magic, born from when she saw her sterling performance in the Mars versus Mages game, in forms that would be impossible to achieve for a normal human being. Ever since, she had followed her whenever she had enough time for it, which regrettably was not often, but this... Maybe it, indeed, was a fortunate encounter.

"- but not even your fabled kid teacher can locate these critters by himself either, can he?" Sugiura was asking now.

"What do you want?" asked Asakura, growing tired from the dance of the preliminaries and going straight to the point.

Sugiura smiled smugly once again. "How much can you tell us about the Research Society headlined by your teacher?"

* * *

><p>Inside of Evangeline's cabin, a short while later, the Mistress of Puppets rested on her favorite couch, watching with disinterest the news from the TV, and the scandal amongst humans over Roanapur's pubic request to finally send a delegate to the United Nations. Suddenly, Chachamaru appeared at the living room's doorstep, coming from the dining room and holding an Ala Alba ensign.<p>

"Master," said the gynoid. "Asakura-san would like to talk with you."

"And I wouldn't like talking with Asakura," said Evangeline, without looking at her.

"She says someone has an interest on visiting you."

Evangeline literally spun her head around without turning her neck, and her eyes gained golden pupils on black sclerotics. "Give me that badge," she commanded. As soon as Chachamaru handed her the ensign with the shape of a small white wing, the immortal witch grunted, "How many?"

_"Four,"_ answered the voice of the red-haired reporter. _"Sugiura-sensei and three of the girls she... trains to play superhero, apparently. I think they know a lot about us, and they're especially interested on you and Negi. We just took separate ways, and I stalled them, telling them I'd think it over. I thought I'd keep them hanging until I had any need for them, but first I wanted consulting you..."_

"Wise choice," Evangeline said coldly. "Can you get in touch with them?"

_"Uh, of course I can, I have their numbers and everything, but-"_

"Tell them you'll bring them over tomorrow night."

_"Excuse me?"_

"You heard me."

_"Yeah, but... generally speaking, you prefer..."_

"Whatever I'd chosen doing in the past doesn't matter to you; what should matter to you is what I want now," said the sorceress. "Bring them over. I think it's time to give people around here a few reminder lessons I'm not someone to toy with... or someone to disobey."

After a short but obviously disturbed silence, Asakura said, _"I'll call them to set it up."_

"We'll be waiting for you," said Evangeline, handing the badge back to her main robotic maid. "Chachamaru, get me four chairs and a lot of rope ready. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll have better entertainment than this trash," she added as she turned the television off.

_"In a last moment, exclusive press release from the White House, President Luthor has expressed his-"_

* * *

><p><em>"Aozora ippai ni. Watashi-tachi no omoi ga chiribame rarete iku..."<em> Sugiura Midori's night desk phone rang out in musical bliss that was bluntly interrupted as soon as the young woman lifted a hand from her bed and slammed down on it.

Still keeping her eyes stubbornly closed, still lying on her stomach with her black panty-clad ass sticking up from the mess of disarranged bedsheets, Midori grunted, "Who?"

A familiar voice answered, "It's me, Yohko. Were you partying all night long again?"

The memories from the victory party were slowly coming back to Midori now...

_Completely ignoring Mai's heated protestations over drafting her young roommate/lover/adopted daughter/pet into that life threatening insanity as well, Midori already was offering Mikoto a suspicious looking document, which Mikoto already was signing with a smile as wide as Sugiura's, and a mouth full of creamy pie. "That's it! Through this agreement, you're the new reserve member of the Earth's Magical Girl Association. Congratulations...!"_

_"Mikoto!" yelled Mai. "Don't let them bribe you with cake!"_

_Her young roommate/lover/adopted daughter/pet looked back at her, chewing noisy and sloppily, and offering her more crumbling cake from the palm of her left hand. "But it's almost as good as yours! Try it, Mai!"_

"Almost...?" _wondered Mami, in a very low and weak voice._

_Midori laughed perversely as she pocketed the document in, with the air of Mephistoheles after tricking Faust about her. "We've just received Mikoto-chan's permission...!"_

_Mami elbowed her, not discreetly at all, but very lady-like with her delivery, in the stomach. "Please, Sensei. You'll give the impression we aren't the heroines here..."_

"In a way," now, the morning after, Midori crawled up enough to bury her face into her pillow. "Don't worry, I used protection."

"I'll take your word for it," the woman on the other end of the line said. "Got plans to continue it tonight?"

"Why? You finally joining in?"

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm just reminding you, even though today's your free day, you still agreed to spend the afternoon coordinating the Sports Festival with the Student Council."

"Wasn't that tomorrow?" Midori mumbled.

"No."

"Shit. Can't you go in my place? I feel like cattle dung today, and you know I'm not good with kids."

"You seem fairly good at leading them into situations of danger."

"Yeah, but the Student Council doesn't need any help with that. What am I supposed to do, then?" Midori finally sat up on the bed, with a yawn. One look at her clock told her it was 9:46 A.M. Well, that explained a few things about the funny smell in her mouth. "A slow morning, I see? What, not enough kids have scrapped their knees today, so you had enough time to play Mom with me? I'm so moved."

"Your gratitude moves me even more. But yes, it's been kind of a slow morning. Kitami, Marikawa and Mikado-sensei are handling everything fine, and after class, Izumi-chan will take over for me."

Midori blinked. "So you can go do... what?"

"What, don't you think I have a social life of my own?"

"No, I do know you don't have one."

Midori found herself wondering how Yohko could pull off such a perfect impression of staring evilly at someone through the phone line.

Regardless, she snickered. "Your mom set you for another date, riiiight?"

"Wh-what if she did?"

"Who is it this time? Knowing her tastes, it must be another weirdo... Itoshiki? Mitsuru's pervy older brother? That creepy bus driver, what was his name again?"

"... Ishigami."

Midori broke into laughter. "THAT guy?! Your mom's gotta be joking! If she wanted an Arts Teacher for you, she should have picked Takamichi, at least!"

"I don't have THAT much free time today, so I think I'll be hanging -"

"Wait, wait! What if we go for a few drinks after I'm done with the boring stuff and you kick your date to the curb again?" Midori said eagerly. "I'll cover all the expenses this time! Honest!"

After a few moments of consideration, the answer came, honest but nowhere as enthusiastic. "Sorry, but no, I can't. Not tonight."

"Come on, Yohko-chan! It's been a while! We should go light up the night again, like the old times!"

"Next week, okay?" her friend told her. "Bye. I think they're bringing Jinnai in, with a broken leg. Again."

"Yohko-chan, wait, why can't - Shit."

Midori looked down at her bare feet, the hand holding the phone hanging at her side.

She already felt like drinking.

If she started now and didn't go overboard, she could sleep it off and be ready by the time of her rendezvous with the kids...

* * *

><p><em>Several hours later, after dusk, this happened:<em>

"It sure took you long enough," observed Asakura as she saw the teacher approaching the spot in the woods where Kazumi, Mami, Mai and Mikoto had been standing, waiting for her. Fortunately, sneaking out again without being detected by anyone had not been much of a problem. Mahora's nocturnal life had not recovered yet from the incidents of that summer. "I was beginning to think you'd gotten cold feet, after this was your own idea to begin with..."

"I have just had the harshest hours of my whole life, so cut me some slack, okay?" requested Midori, grimacing. "My God, I was aware the Student Council President and her cronies could be overwhelming hardasses, but this..."

"Okay, had a reunion with them today, didn't you? I can sympathize," Asakura offered. "You wouldn't believe how many of my cameras they broke. Someone should someday sit down with them and explain the concept of free press to them. Anyway, moving on. Now listen. I can't guide you into the cabin myself, we'd be found out immediately; but I know about a nearby passage from which there's an excellent view of it. But you need to be there way before dawn. Chachamaru gets up very early and makes a patrol shift all around before waking Evanngeline up. She almost caught me one of those times, before I joined in."

"Are we going to add infiltration and privacy violation to all our prior offenses?" Tokiha-san complained. "Haven't we already done enough?"

"I can go alone, if you'd like. As a matter of fact, I prefer it that way," Midori said stoically. "I'm not going to risk you guys again... tonight."

"Gee, thank you," Mai dryly said.

"I'll go with you, Sensei," Mami said. "You know I have nothing to risk. You go back home, Tokiha-san, Minagi-san. Take good care of your brother, and thanks for coming all the way here."

"He's not my brother. My brother is Ani-ue," Mikoto said, before a tiny and twisted lightbulb went on over her head. "That witch Evelyn, could she know something about Ani-ue?"

"... Ah? Well, she knows a lot of things, but..." Asakura began.

"Mai, you go home!" Mikoto exclaimed, suddenly determined. "I'll go see the witch!"

"Seriously, Miko-chan," Midori replied, "I could ask her for you..."

"But you don't know how Ani-ue looks like!"

"Neither do you!" Mai reminded her.

Mikoto touched her own nose. "I remember his smell well."

"How do you expect that could help you asking someone else?"

"Well, I'll ask her, 'Haven't you smelled someone who smells like Ani-ue?', of course," said Mikoto, with a renewed air of being explaining the obvious. Why Mai was so adorably dense at times?

Mai exhaled a mixture of sigh and gurgle of furious impatience before pulling her cellphone out and making a call. "Takumi. Uh-huh. Still awake, I see. Go sleep already. Mikoto-chan and me will be late, because... an extra assignment we got from Sugiura-sensei... Look, I'll explain tomorrow, fine? Yeah, me too. Kisses. No, of course not. Okay. Good night." She turned the phone off and glared, exasperated, at the others. "Happy now?"

"You really shouldn't have done that, Mai-chan," Midori shook her head while, inside, she went _Alright! Reverse psychology ALWAYS works!_"Well, what's done is done! Forward, _mes braves!_"

"I'm just asking, please, don't start singing..." began Mai.

_"I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! I'm alive, alert, awake! Awake, alert, alive! I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!"_

"I'm going to hurt you badly!" Mai warned.

* * *

><p>"Five individuals, one of them identified as Asakura Kazumi-san, have just been registered entering the perimeters, Master," Chachamaru said dispassionately, standing next to the couch where the Maga Nosferata rested. "Should I head out to intercept them?"<p>

"Let them get a bit closer," Evangeline calmly answered. "If they're stupid enough as to try intruding, I want to give them a good scare personally."

* * *

><p>"How much?" asked Sugiura-sensei, at the limits of said perimeter, her stare drilling into the eyes of a smiling Asakura.<p>

"Oh geez, I don't know," considered the amateur reporter. "It's a gift from a very dear friend, and it's very useful at my line of work. But what use would it be for you? It's only one for the four of you, and besides, you're the type who would rather be seen in grand entrances..."

"I wasn't talking about buying it from you, only about renting it for the night," argued the teacher. "I swear on my honor as a Mahou Shoujo I'll give it back tomorrow, and besides, you know where I live."

Kazumi made a contemplative sound to herself before replying, "Nine thousand yen and I want it back tomorrow before classes. First and last offer."

"Nine thousand!" Mai hissed, managing to yell and keeping her voice as low as possible at once. "That's a robbery!"

"Worth every last cent. I'll pay," Midori decided.

"But-" Mami doubted, with a hand on her own mouth. "Money's no problem, we can resort to the Association's funds," (basically a pot into which Mami and Midori, but mostly Mami, tossed money twice a month), "But even with this, it's too risky-"

Midori placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "If I fall, I want you to lead Mai-chan, Mikoto-chan and the next generation of Mahou Shoujo for me, Mami-chan. I also want you to find and recruit Sailor V, and for a huge portrait of my humble person to always hang in the headquarters..."

"... just become invisible already, will you?" asked Kazumi, handing her the invisibility cape Chao had also left her before going away. Apparently Mana had kept one too, and both were derivations from the cape used by a certain young mage of Britannia during his campaigns against some Dark Lord of sorcery mages didn't dare to name directly (even Chao was reluctant to do so). Not as efficient as Natsumi's Artifact, and they couldn't be used with more than one person at a time even if they were in mutual physical contact, but Midori figured out it'd work just fine anyway. It had been very kind of Asakura-chan mentioning it. Unless, of course, Asakura-chan was leading them into a trap, but in that case Asakura-chan would regret it dearly later. Anyway, the life of a Mahou Shoujo consisted on taking calculated risks.

After disappearing wrapped in the cape, Sugiura headed downhill, while Mai, Mikoto, Mami and Asakura stayed behind, still hidden between the bushes. "D-Do you think she'll make it?" Tokiha asked Tomoe.

"I don't know," admitted the blonde. "But in the event of any unexpected outcome, we'll retreat immediately. Those are the President's orders."

"With Evangeline, if she makes it so something unexpected happens, you wouldn't even have enough time to retreat, believe me," Kazumi commented Kazumi quietly. One second later, Mikoto tensed up with the hiss of an angry cat and tried to spin back swinging Miroku, only to receive a bullseye of a metal punch to the face.

Kazumi didn't even blink. "Good evening, Chachamaru-chan," she greeted without turning back, as a green haired shadow fell on Mai and Mami.

* * *

><p>After making several rounds all around the cabin, finding a likely hidden entrance at the back, and sneaking in with the greatest possible stealth, Midori began moving through the rooms, checking them out systematically but without ever touching anything. The decor was not exactly that of a den of evil. There were dolls and plush animals everywhere, adorable looking carpets, and several fluggy pillows in pastel colors on almost all of the furniture. Midori began wondering if that was only a cover or if Evangeline's reputation was indeed exaggerated. Or perhaps fifteen years of coexisting with schoolgirls had damaged her mind. It would happen to anyone, after all. Poor unfortunate soul.<p>

Eventually, the intruder found the stairs leading into the basement. Going down them slow and carefully, shuddering to the huge amounts of dolls and puppets of all sorts, grotesque and sinister and goofily lovable alike, arranged on shelves surrounding her everywhere, she had to wonder _Who the hell puts a basement in a wooden cabin?_

After getting all the way down, she found little but a few shelves of old books, a lot of dust in stark contrast with the pristine rest of the home, and a big bottle on a huge base, with an elaborate scale model of a vacational resort inside. _This is everything?_ If anything, it looked like a place left unattended intentionally, which pointed at there being something of hidden value somewhere under all those layers of disregard, like Poe's purloined letter. As she began prowling around feeling on the walls, a dangerously close voice came to her ears. "The only thing you should be looking for is an exit, but you won't find it."

Midori's skin crawled, but she said nothing, not even as she saw the tiny Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell coming out the space between two shelves. She still was invisible. She had no idea how she had been detected, but if she stayed very still and barely breathed...

Evangeline indolently ran a bare foot (she was wearing nothing but a black neglige and matching panties, with a long cape on her shoulders) over the dusty floor until the point where Midori's footprints stopped, and her foot touched hers. _Shit!_

"I got you," Evangeline's laughter cackled as fine silver threads, as strong as steel, grabbed Midori from everywhere, pulling the invisibility cape off her body and pining her arms immobile in such a way she couldn't even wield her labrys. "Oh, it's a pretty and healthy one. Not very smart, however. If you saw me fighting at the Tournament, you should be aware I'm never helpless, no matter what."

"What are you doing with Professor Springfield, Mc Dowell?" Sugiura asked.

"How does that concern you?" asked Evangeline in turn.

"The whole world might be destroyed soon," Midori said, with a strangled voice. "I need help from someone who's already proved being able to save a world. But if you have done... anything..."

"Do you mean something like... what I'm going to do to you?" questioned Evangeline, licking her own lips. "Take some comfort thinking it won't hurt, at least," she promised, before leaning down on her to begin.

* * *

><p>"Well, that could have gone better," the red-haired woman admitted as she sat tied to a chair, stripped down to her underwear, in the kitchen of the resort's main building.<p>

"Would you stop saying that when things are obviously bad enough they couldn't possibly be ANY WORSE?" Mai was almost foaming off the mouth, tied to the chair next to hers and wearing as little as she did.

On the chair at Mai's other side, and tied with many, many more ropes, and even a few chains, to the point of nearly looking like a cocoon with a head and legs sticking out, Mikoto wouldn't stop squirming. "Maiiiiiii! I'm itching behind an ear...!"

"Oooohhhh..." Mami was slowly coming back to her sense on the chair at Midori's other side. "Again with that horible nightmare about the monster that ate my head..." She looked at her surroundings, blinked a few times, and regained her sang froid. "Oh my goodness, I suppose this is very embarrassing."

Negi gave Evangeline mortified glare. "Even if you felt you had to search them, you should at least have tossed blankets on them afterwards..."

"My house, my rules," Evangeline grunted, with her hands on her hips. "I didn't call you back so you would start putting my wisdom in doubt."

Ayaka, arms crossed beneath her breasts, glared at the person Evangeline had dragged in. "Other than Tomoe-san, do we know who these persons are?"

Negi nodded. "Of course. That's Sugiura-sensei, History Teacher, a former student here, later enrolled in Teito University before returning to teach."

"Once a Mahora girl, always a Mahora girl," Midori opined.

"Tokiha Mai-san and Minagi Mikoto-san, who live in the first floor of our building. And Tomoe Mami-san, niece of Tomoe-sensei, from the area of Biology Developments..."

Mami looked somewhat surprised now. "You recognize me!"

"Don't feel too flattered. He's learned the names of almost all students in the campus," said Chisame, who stood behind the boy mage and the vampire witch with Ayaka, Natsumi, Haruna, Konoka, and a rather pissed off-looking Asuna. Chachamaru and Kazumi stood even further back, next to the kitchen's door.

"Are you sure that's this teach's true name?" asked Asuna, holding with a suspicious attitude a working license and examining it closely. "'Cause even I can see this thing's been crudely altered so it says she's seventeen years old..."

"Do you _have_ to say that in such a way as to suggest that's hard to believe?" Midori asked with a pout.

"All right," said Ayaka, growing weary of the four prisoners' pointless interjections. "What were you doing in the area around our training grounds?"

"... lurking?" Midori replied.

"Training grounds?" Mai added.

"Can someone scratch behind my ear?" requested Mikoto.

"I'm sure they have good reasons to having been scouting around and, um, into the cabin," Negi tried to smooth things down. "Maybe they got lost in the woods?"

"In that case, can I have a bowl of soup?" Mikoto asked.

Everyone stared at her.

She blinked. "That was a serious question."

"Very well, very well," Ayaka said, growing tired of the comedic tidbits. "What's this all about? We were mentioned something concerning the end of the world when we were called in."

Mai made a surprised sound. "End of the world?"

Evangeline shrugged her shoulders indolently. "Your leader mentioned something about it, and later, to confirm it, I read your minds as you slept..."

"You read our minds!" Mai shrieked, so ashamed and terrified she didn't even think of doubting it. "I mean, EVERYTHING there is in our minds? It's not that I, of course, ah, but-"

"Relax, I believe you're in the company of your equals here," Evangeline told her, as she gave an ironic glare to the gulping Chisame.

Midori scowled, looking at her own bare feet. "These grounds are the property of Mahora Academy, and as a member of the teaching staff, I'm authorized to realize surprise inspections in the event I suspect about illicit activities or other transgressions inside of the students' rooms..."

"Not without an authorization previously signed and sealed by at least one member of the Discipline Committee, I'm afraid," Negi reminded her. "But I'm sure you do have one...?" he asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"Mikoto-chan ate it," huffed Midori.

"Maybe," Mikoto admitted. "Sometimes I eat things without realizing it."

"Okay, and I thought _we_ were weird..." Chisame said.

"Stop playing around with us, Sensei," demanded Ayaka, stopping right before the teacher in the chair. "We want the whole story, with no secrets."

"It's a bit long," Midori said with faked airs of patience. "Do you happen to have a free year or so?"

"I'll explain it as best as I can," Mami said, surprising Midori and Mai. "After all, it's what we wanted to do, wasn't it? Contacting the mighty Negi Springfield-sensei and his band of adventurers?"

"Well, yeah, but not precisely under these conditions," Midori mumbled.

"Mighty?" Negi wondered aloud.

"Band?" Chisame asked at the same time.

"Why don't we just ignore them?" Asuna said. "They don't look like anything but a bunch of freaks to me."

"Oh, harsh! Untrue, too. I learned all sorts of useful and sneaky stuff from Old Man Konoe himself. Like, when you want to find out what's going on inside a place, it's really helpful to let the people there think they've taken you prisoner." Midori smiled brightly.

"Think?" Ayaka repeated, dubiously.

The knots holding the ropes tying Midori down fell away, and she stood, with a long poleaxe appearing in her hands. "Think," she agreed, smile unchanged.

For a few heartbeats, everyone in the kitchen was on the defensive - with the notable exception of Evangeline, whose posture remained easy and relaxed. "Oh, for real?" she said.

Negi's wooden staff, Chisame's scepter, Asuna's sword, Chachamaru's arm blade and Ayaka's black whip were all aimed at Midori now.

And then Midori shrugged, let go of the axe so that it vanished to wherever it had come from, and held out her hands to the sides in a gesture of submission. "Just wanted to be sure you were taking me seriously. Can I please have my clothes back now?"

* * *

><p>"Association of what of the what?" Ayaka repeated, while Asuna, Asakura and Evangeline made her best efforts as to not lose their dignities by breaking into laughter.<p>

"Hey, it's not any worse than calling yourself 'White Wings'!" protested Midori, still in her underwear. "You like looking at my body, don't you? It's not like I care, but the girls-"

Mai shrugged with a bitterly defeated attitude. "Eh, really, it's not that worse than being seen in a bikini."

"I'm so wrapped up, I don't even know if I'm naked or not," Mikoto complained.

Mami blushed adorably. "Enduring these misfortunes is also part of being a Mahou Shoujo..."

"Have you ever talked with Takane D. Goodman-sempai?" wondered Kazumi.

"You shut up, you Judas," Midori told her.

"Hey, I promised you I'd get you a date with Negi-sensei sooner or later, and wasn't this very sooner? I carried on my word with style!" the reporter defended herself.

Mikoto nodded. "She's got a point there."

"Please don't help, Mikoto-chan," Mai requested.

Midori sighed. "It's always the small type, isn't it? Well, supposedly, the Incubator gives us our powers, alright, actually, it's more like he grants us access to our own powers, to fight and destroy the Orphans, who come from Mundus Magicus each October, the Godless Month, the anniversary month of OverMaster's birth, to bring calamity upon this world," she added, with a mild smirk.

"Who is Ov-" Negi began asking, before several female hands clasped themselves on his mouth preventing a collapse of the Fourth Wall.

Konoka nodded. "Yes, very well, but you aren't the only ones who can see those, Setchan and Tatsumiya-san-"

"Well, with that devil eye of Tatsumiya's, I don't doubt it," said Sugiura, matter of factly. To Konoka's mild grimace at that moment, the female teacher half-smirked. "Don't think me a fool just because I'm pretty. I've bothered to learn a lot about you guys."

"And look where's that taken us," was Mai's pointed observation.

"I'm confused-" Natsumi began saying.

"I'm shocked and appalled," Ayaka cut in.

"I'm mostly naked," Midori interjected.

"Ahhhh... Excuse me?" the actress asked, blinking.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were making obvious statements about our current condition, and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss my turn." Midori batted her eyelashes at them and smiled sweetly.

"In that case, I'm hungry," Mikoto added. After a moment of shared blinks, Negi pulled a lollipop out of a pocket of his jacket and placed it in Mikoto's mouth, which started suckling on it with a thankful purr.

"Ah... what I meant is," Natsumi decided skipping over the last few lines of dialogue, "why only you? Sensei is a magic user as well, and Evangeline-sama too, and I think I'm very sure you're more powerful than you, or else you wouldn't have come for their help. So why can't they see those creatures, or Mars' red edge?"

"What do I know? There are many different types of magic," Midori replied. "Maybe your magic cancelling little friend here could see them now, if she ever stumbles into one, although I doubt it, if she hasn't ever seen the red shade over Mars."

"Please do treat Kagurazaka-san with the due respected," asked Chachamaru. "You should be informed she is the Princess and Heiress of the Land of Ostia."

Midori blinked several times before looking at Asuna with awe. "No joke?"

"Well... nope," Asuna ended up saying with a shrug.

"Oh, wow," Midori drooped her shoulders. "I guess... that explains a few things. "W-What, exactly, did you do up there to stop the Martian crisis? Because that's one of the things I wanted to ask you..."

"I have officially lost all notion of what you're saying by now," Mai confessed.

"Sister," Natsumi sighed. "And I was right there, too."

"Well, basically," Asuna narrated, "the bad guys stuck me into this energy cage thing that kept me in hibernation like a groundchuck, and they were using me as their Energizer battery for their magical device where they were gonna stick everyone in an eternal dream. But then Negi and the others saved me, and Chisame used her Artifact to read the Lifemaker's Code in Sextum's keys, and I used the Master Key to rewrite the world, and that's basically it."

"What," Mikoto said.

"Wait, Sextum, you said? Like Sextum Averruncus-sensei?" Mai asked.

"No, she means another of the millions of Sextums all over the world, of course," Evangeline snarked.

"Ah. Now I see why she seems to have that quiet evil aura about her," Mai said.

"No, she's a good person!" Negi protested.

Many stares fell on him.

"Well, she is!" the boy insisted.

"Let's ask Yuuna-chan her feelings about the good person who turned her into a statue later on," Haruna suggested, making several remember she was there, shocked it had taken her so long to break her silence. "That's all very cute and interesting, for sure, but if you've been fighting those things on your own just fine until now, why talking about the end of the world now?"

"Yeah, I was wondering on the same. No one mentioned any end of the world during our inductions," Mai said, just a bit venomously.

"Didn't I mention it? I'd swear having mentioned it amongst all my other warnings about our lives being in daily risk," Midori wondered, more to herself than for Mai's benefit. "Anyway, it isn't very clear, and Kyubey won't talk a lot on the subject, but like you know well, the martian red halo is a relatively recent thing, and even so, in all the ancient texts I've managed to find, it's a vague herald of doom. Paired up with the increased Orphan presence, it's only been there for less than half a year, and grown even worse over the last three weeks..."

"The same time that has passed since we freed Asuna-san," Negi said.

A blunt silence fell over all those present.

"Well, gang," Asakura broke it while rubbing her own chin and smirking. "Looks like we have another mystery in our hands!"

* * *

><p>"Sugiura-sensei? May I come in?" Negi shyly asked after rapping his knuckles on the door of that guest room in the resort's main tower.<p>

There were some sounds that he recognized as bottles clanging against each other before the door went open, and Sugiura Midori, in a bedrobe supplied by Chachamaru, peered out, smiling at him. "Why, good evening, Prince," she said with a heartfelt, although clumsy bow matching the ethilic tone in her voice. "It's a honor having you here. Do you come for your_Droit du seigneur_?"

"My what?" he reacted like she had expected, without understanding anything.

"It's nothing important! I was just joking," she said, ushering him in with a gesture and closing the door behind him. "Wouldn't your girlfriends grow jealous if they ever learn you're here, alone with a sexy mature seventeen-years old?" she asked, sitting on her bed and crossing her legs.

Midori studied his strangely uncomfortable expression before he could say, "Please don't call them that. They're my partners."

"And students."

"And students, naturally, but those ties will last much less than our friendship."

"I guess you're right. To what do I owe this visitation, then?"

"Well," Negi began, feeling the subtle smell of liquor drafting from her, along with the lingering remains of soap on her skin, the shampoo in her hair, the first hints of sweat after her recent bath. He had grown much better at detecting scents than a normal human being after his transformation, although still nowhere as much as Kotaro. "I was thinking on how we should tell this to the Headmaster, unless you've told him already, although he never gave that impression..."

"I've talked with him on the subject," she admitted. "In cases of need, he's willing to cancel the Sports Festival and even start an evacuation. He doesn't want a repeat of the summer incidents, or something worse. But he's also aware that, in the event of a Walpurgisnacht, there wouldn't be any place in the world where the students could be safe. We even might say they'd be safer here, under our protection, than anywhere else."

"Walpurgisnacht?"

"It's a legend amongst the Mahou Shoujo. It's been told it is a species of gigantic Orphan who once threatened the world after the All Hallows Eve, and it could return someday. But there are no written records on it. You should ask Akemi Homura-san, who knows a lot more about it. Good luck making her talk, however."

"And Akemi Homura-san is...?" Negi said, concerned over not remembering that name.

"A Magical Girl who refuses joining our team and prefers playing the lone wolf," mumbled Midori, taking another drink. "Maybe you should try convincing her. You have more of a gift to talk with kids than I do."

"Me? Oh, please! You're in the same wavelenght as youngsters. Sometimes... when I talk with them, I feel like I'm talking with space aliens," he confessed with an embarrassed chuckle.

"That would be because I am a youngster," Midori replied.

He gulped. "Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to imply -!"

"But so are you!" she poked his nose with a finger. "Don't act like a shrunken old man all the time, Sensei! Even the Headmaster can lighten up more often than you."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "That's what Chisame-san is always telling me, but it's kind of hard to do."

"And don't ask for forgiveness for everything either," she mumbled. "I don't know why would you say you can't connect with the students anyway. They love you!"

"Well, yes," he admitted, "But loving someone and obeying them are two different things. Even now, I often have problems asserting my authority. I can't wait to grow up so they can see me as an adult..." And then he trailed off, realizing maybe he'd never grow up after all.

Oblivious to that, Midori humphed. "Oh, come on. That's bull and you know it. You got a team of unruly schoolgirls to follow you to another world and save it against all odds. How can anyone say they don't have any authority after achieving that?"

"That was never my intent," Negi answered sorrowfully. He was mildly impressed Sugiura knew so much, but then, even back during his first week there, Itoshiki had told him she knew about magic. Which posed the question... "Sugiura-sensei, if you don't mind my asking... how were you introduced to magic?"

"Oh, that? I was adopted by an old priest who was knowledgeable on the subject. Later, a kindly couple of muggles took charge of me and gave me their family name, but by then I already knew all I had to know about this world. Grampa then used his influences to get me my beloved job here at Mahora."

Negi frowned a little. "Please don't call them muggles. I find that term disrespectful."

"Seriously? I think it sounds better and less humbling than 'mundanes', which seems to imply some inferiority. While 'muggles' is just a cute term taken from a book for children."

"Eeehhh! Not only for children! My sister loves the series, too!"

Midori laughed. "Sorry, sorry! I'm just meaning, once you live through the real thing, books seem childish by comparison, don't you agree?"

After a moment, he nodded. "Yes. You got a point there."

"Look," she told him, pulling a few notes out of her work clothes. "I knew there was a chance I might run into you tonight, so these are a few of the details I've worked out through my research. I still don't trust Mc Dowell enough as to share them with her, but I already know I can trust you," she added, offering the papers by setting them all over her bed. He came closer, and they began studying them together, as she explained the terminology that was new for him, and told him all she knew about the mechanics of the Mahou Shoujo system. Negi realized Sugiura-sensei, despite her eccentricities, could be impressively efficient when she put her mind on something. Even half drunk as she was, she could explain a complex pattern of actions to follow during an emergency through the Festival, assign roles for each member of their joint forces with a clear precise eye, and even criticize a few of the actions Negi had taken through the Mahorafest, offering alternative solutions.

Of course, he promptly apologized, making her chide him again, which of course made him apologize again, prompting a mildly exasperated "What are we going to do with you? That Chisame-san really has the right idea about getting on your case."

"Sorry!"

She shot him a stare.

He smirked angelically.

She rubbed her knuckles on his scalp. "Oh, you're doing it on purpose now, aren't you?!"

He giggled lightly, making her smile in turn.

"Maybe," she said softly, "there's still some hope for you."

And his face, against her expectations, turned somber again. "Maybe."

She frowned. "Negi," for the first time, she dropped the honorifics, just so he could realize how serious she was. "Why are you that way? Why do you have to? You should be a happy child. I know you had a difficult childhood, but so did Inugami-kun, and he can have fun and enjoy his life! Every time we're in a reunion, everyone is so full of life and enthusiasm - Taiga-chan, Mitsuru, Yukari, Nyamo-chan, Hinako-chan, Sakomizu, Nekomome-chan, hell, even Touko, in her own way. I mean, even she has a social life, and can drink a little when we gather. I know only two people in the staff who are more depressed than you, Itoshiki and Takamichi, and we both know those two have real issues."

"Hey! Takamichi doesn't have issues!"

"Yes, he does. He has a whole collection including swimwear specials, all leatherbound and stacked on neatly arranged shelves. Even Nitta isn't as bad! What I'm trying to tell you, Negi, is we all care about you. Your colleagues, your students, the family you have left. You should consider yourself lucky over that, not to mention you could kick all our combined asses. I'd kill for something like that! So cheer up already! You saved the world, you're Mr. Popular, you're badass and you know it! You even got your mother back! I won't complain about my adoptive family, but do you know how much I long I could ever get to meet my real parents? Hmmm?"

"I'm not sure I deserve any of that, though," he said, looking elsewhere.

"Why the hell not? You're a hero! What else could be expected from you? What impossibly high standards do you keep for yourself?"

He rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, but... I can't talk about that. Maybe I'd better leave."

She grabbed him by an arm. "Oh hell no! No way you can be any worse than me, and look at me, I still persevere! I'm the worst! I'm an irresponsible slob and a loser, and yet I keep putting on a smile and forge on! So can you!"

"I - I place all my students in danger!"

"So do I!"

"No, not as badly as me!"

"Yes, I do!" And with that, much to his horror, she lifted her left leg all the way up, showing him a small mark with the form of the sign of Aries on her ankle. Not to mention her panties, since she was wearing a short skirt. "Do you see this? This is the mark of a Magical Princess, but it might as well be the mark of Cain! Because I lead other girls their unsuspecting families left under my care on unsanctioned hunts of lethally dangerous monsters that invade this Academy to prey on us! Do you get it now, kid? I have that responsibility on my shoulders, all on my own, and I still can't help being a drunk slacker! Yet I don't blame myself like you, who are much better than me!" She actually sniffed for a moment. "Oh God, I'm a loose mouthed idiot, am not I? Coming here stupidly and then talking more than I should just because I took pity on a cute kid... when I prefer older men anyway!"

"Bwaahh?" Negi said. For someone pretty much drunk, she could be so surprisingly elaborate and richly verbose! Oh, and there was the implied hint about her liking him, too.

"Nothing!"

He shook his head, more to clear his rattled mind more than anything else. "S-Sugiura-sensei! Is that, is that how you really feel?"

She looked at her feet and mumbled, "Every word, yeah. I hope you're feeling better now, because that's the sole reason I told you any of this! That, and I think I'm still a bit tipsy... shouldn't have come after all..."

"But, but you should tell the Headmaster!"

"It wouldn't do a damn thing. No one but us can see, hear or destroy those monsters. Not even you."

He actually glared at her.

"I mean it!" she said. "It's pointless, and it'd only make our job much harder. Look, why don't we just forget this happened and go our separate ways now?"

"I can't do that."

"Why? Because saving the world must always be your responsibility? I told you to cut the martyr complex! The sole reason why you don't fly to Metropolis to try and take over for Superman-sama is because you can't!"

"But I could!"

"Oh, please, kid! I'm getting really pissed off at you... now..."

He had just changed into his lightning form before her, making the woman back away with a terrified scream. After a moment, he changed back, and Midori panted in subsiding terror, her back stuck to a wall.

He looked contrite now. "My apologies if I scared you. Since you showed me, I felt I had to -"

"My God, kid," Midori breathed out. "What... What happened to you?"

"I'm a monster, Sugiura-sensei. In more than one sense."

He began weeping, until she reached over with a hand and tenderly caressed his cheek. Her voice sounded tremulous, but still sincere. "No. Negi, you aren't a monster. That's...That's quite cool, actually, you just startled me, that's all! Please, please don't cry..."

She held him against herself for a moment until his sobs stopped, then patted his shoulders. "Let's go outside. To get some fresh air."

He had to nod. "Thank you. You're very kind."

"Actually, why don't you call your mom and tell her you're going to be a little late? There are some nifty places I'd like to show you after we can get outta this bottle. Places I go when I want to feel better."

He looked dubious. "What... what kind of places?"

She grinned and rubbed his hair. "That'd spoil the surprise!"

* * *

><p>She insisted that he take an age deceiving pill to make himself look like an adult before heading downtown, and now he could see why. While none of the places they had visited had been too seedy or suspicious, they were places where liquor was consumed, and she certainly was not shy about continuing drinking. She'd even offered him a glass or two, but he had refused the first and only took sips from the other. Not only did he still remember far too well the time he had accidentally gotten himself drunk with Nitta before Mahorafest, but he truly disliked the taste she seemed to favor so much.<p>

Those places had all seemed rather boring to Negi, though, even if he didn't saying it aloud. He had to admit there was a certain measure of satisfaction found in defending Midori's, um, 'honor' when a drunk man tried to bother her in one of those bars, but Negi had to admit he had gone too far after punching the fellow through a window. A heartfelt apology and payment for the broken window later, and Negi left, embarrassed, with a laughing Midori embracing him and a small crowd cheering for him. It felt right, in a way, but that was what made it feel so wrong.

Growing up was a very complicated thing.

He had found the visit to the karaoke bar to be much more interesting. Misa had often teased him about taking him there, but for one reason or another, their agendas never coincided for it, so this was his first visit to such an establishment. Being a gentleman, he let the lady take the first turn, and as he watched Midori take the small stage, he had to admit she made for quite an attractive presence. In the merely appreciative sense a gentleman would devote to a respected colleague, of course. He wasn't admiring the way her tight clothes clung to her curvaceous body. Or the way her red mane moved around with her graceful, even through her inebriation, agility. Or how she occasionally would cock her hips suggestively his way. He tried to focus on her singing, and crossed his legs so the troubling hardness between them wouldn't be noticeable at all. He would have to look for alternate solutions to it, since he could not possibly run to Mother or Chisame for sex every time it happened.

"Your turn now." She handed him the microphone with a wink, and he nodded, selected a song from the light, and began singing, putting his best into it.

_"Hikaru kaze wo oikoshitara. Kimi ni kitto aeru ne. Atarashii kagayaki HAPPY READY GO!"_

Midori's face lost all color.

All of a sudden, dogs all over Academy City began to howl in abject pain.

Somewhere else, The Joker stopped laughing.

The windows all up and down the street started to gain slight cracks on them.

Flying high above Switzerland, Superman took both hands to his head and crashed down against the Alps. He was late to breakfast with Lois Lane.

People ran out of the adjacent karaoke booths in horror, screaming their heads off about the end of the world.

Blissfully oblivious, with the air of a self-absorbed Apollo singing praises to the glory of Olympus, Negi kept on singing for the duration of the lyrics, by which point Midori was reduced to tears, not to mention a slight nosebleed.

Negi smiled brightly at her, more animated than he had looked during the rest of the night. "Ah, that was good! Shall we go for a duet, Midori-sensei?"

Too shocked to even notice he wasn't using her family name anymore, Midori was about to excuse herself for the restroom when she saw a trio of girls through the window, walking for the karaoke bar's front door. Yelping, she grabbed Negi and ran with him through the back door, amidst the relieved sighs of management, seconds before Kakizaki Misa, Kugimiya Madoka and Shiina Sakurako all walked in, dressed in her best street clothes, and loaded with bags full of well-spent allowances.

"Aaaand here we are!" the purple haired Misa cheered. "Hey, isn't the place kinda deserted tonight?"

"Maybe it has to do something with the people we saw running down the street, screaming incoherently?" the short haired Madoka guessed.

Sakurako sniffed the air. "Don't you guys kinda catch the smell of that cologne Negi-kun douses himself with when he hasn't showered?"

Discreetly peeking in through a back window, Negi gasped aloud, then backed away very fast, taking Midori with himself as they raced down the street. They didn't stop until they reached a small park, where they sat together on a bench near the duck pond.

"That was close, wasn't it?" Midori chuckled, rubbing her nose with a tissue.

"Yes," Negi exhaled.

"Imagine those girls' reactions at seeing us on a date," Midori said wistfully.

"Yes, they would have... hey! W-we weren't on a date!"

She smiled and played with his hair. "No, regretfully, no. Oh, if only I were seven years younger..."

He cringed a bit as she leaned closer to his adult body, feeling her soft warm breathing against his neck. "Midori-sensei... what..."

"You're the guy I always wanted, just younger than I'd have wanted," she confided him, with that eerie air Negi had come to recognize from females falling in love with him. And drunks. Horror of horrors, she seemed to fall into both categories. "Have I ever told you about the man I loved? The one I made my wish for?"

"N-No. Who was he?"

"Don't be jealous, silly," she pinched his nose. "He was my archaeology teacher, one Noriyasu Seta. Recognize the name?"

"Do I!" Negi gasped. "The world famous explorer who found the Pararakelse ruins!"

"Exactly. You know he got lost for several weeks during that expedition, right? My wish when I became a Magical Girl was for him to appear alive, and whaddaya know, the next day, he was found alive and well in the jungle. Hah! I should have wished to marry him, instead, because then, he went on to marry his American assistant, and I never even got tell him." She sniffed. "So I swore, next time I really liked a guy, I'd tell him from the start."

"Th-That's probably for the best. I wish you the best of luck when you -"

"Yes, next time I really like a studious, hard working, cultured, badass, hot guy, I'll tell him outright! Then I'll take him to a love motel and fuck him wild and hard all night long!" She emphasized her point by slamming a fist on her other hand.

Negi blushed. "Muh-Mi-Midori-sensei, maybe we should head back ... Mother and Chisame will -"

"Fuck your mother and Chisame," she slurred, placing her face right before his. "I think... I think I really like you, Negi-kun..."

"Eeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh!"

And her lips came crashing against his.

* * *

><p>"So," Mikoto asked as she snuggled next to Mai in their bed, Takumi soundly asleep at a side, with his back turned to them, "where do you think Sensei went off to?"<p>

"No idea," Mai answered honestly.

* * *

><p>Midori was, in fact, in a hotel room in town, enjoying what she'd expected to be a pleasant diversion but which had rapidly developed into one of the best sexual encounters she'd had all year. Or possibly within the last few years.<p>

The next few minutes had been kind of a blur for both of them. Maybe that taste of alcohol had affected him more than he had thought. It was something to look into, if it meant a possible shortcoming of his new state's invulnerability. Regardless, what little Negi would later remember of those haze-filled minutes included being pulled by Midori down several streets until they reached a building oddly called 'Nabe Nabe Love Hotel'. Nice little place, even if the decoration was a little gaudy and the manager behind the counter reminded him too much of a seedier, female Tosaka-san for his comfort.

A hurried dragging up some stairs later, he was naked and standing behind an also nude Midori, who had just supported her hands on the closed window's glass, her bare feet planted far apart from each other, her round buttocks sticking up, allowing him a view of the tiny ring of her anus and the wet vagina underneath.

Negi gulped and remained where he was.

"Well?" the woman asked. "We've gone this far. No turning back now. Aren't you a brave hero?"

"I, I don't consider myself as such." He licked his dry lips, trying to find any sense into any of that. "Won't people see you like that? At least, at least close the curtains, and then dress up and let's leave before we do anything we may regret."

"Neeeegiiiiii," the woman moaned. "C'mon, I swear I'll be gentle. For your first time, it's better to be with a caring, experienced older woman than falling into a misstep with one of those grabby students, don't you think?"

He rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. "Well, about that, um, I'm not sure how to explain it -"

She gave him a back look over her shoulder. "Oh God, don't tell me you'd prefer to do it with Inugami-kun. Although judging from that stiff big stick, I'd say I haven't left you indifferent."

"N-No, you haven't. That's why I'm so reluctant about this-"

"Why? Because you're afraid you might fall in love with me? How flattering!"

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I!"

A long tense silence followed.

"Fuck it," Midori grunted through clenched teeth. "Fine, maybe you're right and this is a horrible mistake I'll regret as soon as I'm sober. I couldn't live with myself knowing I stole an innocent child's virginity. Get me my panties, I think I tossed them over the -"

"No, I'm not an innocent," he lamented. "Not anymore, so don't feel bad about yourself. That's what I meant when I said I was a monster."

She looked back at him again. "WHAAAA?! What kind of lascivious monster could... okay, I shouldn't have said that, all things considered ... but still, what kind of girl could take advantage of you without being drunk off her ears, or -?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

She stared at him, suspiciously. "There's been more than one girl, hasn't there?"

"Ah?! How did you -!"

"Your guilt is written all over your face in neon lights! That's not the anguished face of a rape victim, that's the guilty face of a recurring offender!"

"... four," he sheepishly admitted.

"Four times, or four girls?"

"- four girls -"

Midori huffed and reassumed her former position. "Well, goodbye guilt complex, then. I tell you, kiddo, you're even more screwed up than I thought, but I suppose that means we're a perfect match. So just fuck me already, because my cunt damn itches for some of that big fat filling cock."

Such language. Mother would have been proud. Still... "My point still stands, what if someone sees you?"

"That's part of the charm, kid. Not like there are many crossing this street at these times, not like anyone making the rounds around this district at this time will belong to the staff or faculty, and what do you care anyway? No one will recognize you in that form. If anything, I'm the one risking everything."

"But I don't want you to risk anything!"

"But I do! That's part of the thrill of living for me! That, and fucking, so fuck me already!"

"But, but like this? I mean, don't we need some of those, how do you call them, those things in Health Classes, the ones men put on to -"

"It's okay! I'm on the pill!"

"What pill?"

Midori felt like banging her fists on the window. "How can you still be so ignorant on the subject after fucking three girls? I hope they were more careful than you. The pill to prevent getting pregnant, boy!"

"Ahhhhh!" A beat. "Wait, why you'd take those, if you didn't know -"

"Because I fuck around a lot, and that's something some older girls do, Negi." She was really trying to sound patient. "Now, when a lady, even a slutty one, asks for something, her gentleman delivers."

He swallowed. While it was a relief knowing he wouldn't have to worry about pregnancies this time, the angry face of Chisame appeared in his mind yet again, now joined by Natsumi and Ayaka's faces. But Chisame was his sister, and Natsumi and Ayaka... well, they were understanding, he told himself, before setting his big hands on Midori's buttocks and then pushing his large meat into her, making her moan aloud.

Which brings us to the point where we had started this segment.

"Fuck me," she said as he pumped down into her while her hips rocked beneath him, legs twisted back in a way only really athletic women could manage from that position, so her ankles crossed behind his tight butt. "Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me!"

Negi obliged her, though his own enjoyment of the encounter was muted, even more than it normally would have been with the age-changing pill active in his system. Still, he was glad that she'd insisted on using them. He didn't really enjoy being a fetish object for his youth.

And so here she was, with her tits pressed up against the window and her butt thrusted up against him, so that anyone in the street could see her being pounded from behind and loving it, loving his cum on and in her, glad that she had been on the pill so he didn't need a rubber and could spray that milky white goodness up into her unprotected womb. Although, now she thought about it, she was not too sure of how many days ago she had taken her latest one. She'd been going through kind of a dry spell, lately, which probably helped to explain why she had been so -

"Urragh!" she cried out as one more surge of bliss surged up from below, a few seconds before a sweet load was dumped into her cunt. For a few moments, they just remained tightly together, in their lewd embrace, breathing heavily.

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school," Midori finally murmured. For some reason, she could feel some sort of strange sensation of deja vu.

Negi lifted his head so that he could look down at her, startled. "What?"

"No, no, not really, 's just something I saw in a movie once," she explained as they separated and she reached for a towel from one of the baskets to clean herself up a bit. "When I'm really feeling good, I say shit without thinking about it, sometimes. You know how it is. Like when you called me Chisame while nearing climax."

Negi swallowed. "I-I did? I didn't realize I'd done that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said, absently, checking the clock. Huh, still not even midnight. "She's the one who jumped you first?"

"No!" he said, then looked away guiltily. "It was... my fault, really, it was, so please don't report her to anyone. She's far too precious to me."

Midori stared at him.

He gasped. "Of, of course, after this, you're also precious to me, you'd have to be, it's just, doing this with her would hurt her, while ... while ..."

"While I can take it fine," she philosophized, somewhat sadly. She took another look at his penis, which much to her surprise was still erect enough, and regaining stiffness on top of that. "Round two?"

"I have been told ... I apparently have remarkable stamina, but I'm not sure we should -"

"What's the difference now?" she mused, falling to her knees before him. "Round two, then," she said, and began sucking him. Negi's protests dissolved into pleased gasps.

Then they made good use of the mattress. And the shower. And the floor, although by then, he had sweated so much the effect of the pill had been purged out of his system, and he shrank down to his normal size as he rode her on the carpet. Even more embarrassed now, he apologized and tried to pull out, but she only clutched him tighter against her, crying "Spill your kiddy seed in my grown-up twat!"

So he did.

So much for not being an object of Shotacon fetishism. Even after all he had done recently, it still was disturbing enough to his sensibilities. They'd have been more disturbed known that she'd exploded in orgasm when that happened, and was gleefully remembering it as one of the most depraved things she'd ever done, if not the mo- no, the thing with the octopus was still more depraved than that.

Oh well.

* * *

><p>He tip-toed into his residence, hoping he didn't smell too much of her. He doubted Chisame and Satomi would notice, but Mother and, especially, Chamo, concerned him greatly on the subject. Much to his relief, Chamo was not in sight anywhere, which probably meant he was out partying again. And Mother slept soundly with Satomi in the lower bunk, both embracing in a way that brought a hard knot to his throat. Amongst other things that were mortifying him to no end now. Chisame grumbled angrily something about him as she slept above their heads.<p>

_"We... We'll remain in contact, won't we?" Midori had asked him before parting ways. "I mean, we have to, being colleagues, and still having so much work to do together... but..."_

_He had to nod. What else could he do? "Of course. Uh... Thanks for everything, Sugi- Midori-sen- Midori. It was..." He paused, before finding the right word. "... overpowering."_

_She smiled, again with the same strange vague sadness, and kissed him deeply before walking away into the night._

Negi now sniffled, slipped into his pajamas, and took hold of his futon, swearing to himself he'd stay there for the whole night that time.

He woke up hours later, on the floor, at the feet of the lower bunk, with a slap mark on his face and blinking in confusion. Looking up, at the state of disarray of the bedsheets next to Chisame, he could deduce he had been slapped down from there. But why? Chisame didn't seem to bother anymore when he ended up sleeping at her side, so -

Then something occurred to him, and his blood seemed to become cement.

With her back to him, facing the wall, pretending to sleep, Chisame cringed and trembled.

That red-haired teacher? Why had he murmured her name in his sleep?

WHY?!

Giving an even better impression of sleeping, Princess Arika took a detailed mental note of the incident.

Curiouser and curiouser...

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


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